Chapter Four

“You are looking well this evening.”

Violet offered her friend a small smile. “Thank you for your kind words. I confess that I did not make a particularly strong effort this evening given that I knew I would be standing in the shadows.”

Miss Chesterton nodded in clear understanding. “It can be difficult,” she confessed, sighing heavily. “One wonders why my mother insists that the maids give me just as much attention as my sister, when she knows as well as I do that I am to be a wallflower for the evening!”

“Perhaps it is her way of showing you that she is still concerned for your well-being and your future,” Violet suggested, though Miss Chesterton’s smile did not grow with any sort of delight in that response. “I know that your sister is the focus at the present moment but mayhap, once her happiness is secured, you will find yourself encouraged back to the center of things.”

“Ah, but then I should leave you alone and I do not want that.” Miss Chesterton smiled as Violet laughed softly. “Now, I think that we should take a turn about the room this evening. What say you to that?”

Violet nodded and together, the two ladies began to walk around the room, though they still kept to the back of it, hiding themselves amongst the shadows just as two wallflowers were expected to do.

“There are many gentlemen out this evening.” Miss Chesterton sighed softly, making Violet look at her in surprise though her friend quickly laughed and blushed just a little. “Yes, I confess that I myself am interested in the gentlemen here in London. Why should I not be? I am to seek out a match for myself at some point, I hope, so I may as well know the names of the gentlemen that are present… even if I am not properly introduced to any of them as yet.”

“I see.” Violet tilted her head, considering. “I do not think that I am interested in any gentlemen as yet.”

“Is that because of…” Miss Chesterton closed her eyes briefly, her face flushing. “Forgive me. I did not mean to ask you such a thing.”

Considering for a moment, Violet pressed her lips together and then nodded to herself. “I do not mind speaking of my previous engagement, not with you. You know very well that I trust you.”

“For which I am very grateful.”

Violet smiled gently, though it became a little wistful as she let her thoughts drift back to the only gentleman she had ever felt herself in love with. “The ending of my engagement was not something that I found in the least bit delightful,” she said, quietly. “It was not my doing nor my choice. My heart was tied to his and in that, I found myself broken-hearted when my father forced the end of the engagement.”

“And so you are uncertain as to whether or not you will be able to consider another gentleman because of that?” Miss Chesterton’s eyes flared. “Does that mean that your heart still holds an affection for him?”

Violet nodded.

“Even after three years of separation?”

A small, sad smile pulled at the corners of Violet’s mouth. “It does. To be truthful, I thought that the pain would replace it, that when I finally began to recover from the ending of our engagement and indeed, coming to terms with the realization that I would not have the marriage I had longed for, the love I felt for him would no longer be there – or that it would be extensively diminished.”

Miss Chesterton’s eyes were still a little wide. “But it was not?”

“It was not. Rather, it seemed to grow a little, as if to suggest there was nothing within my heart which would not be held back from him.”

“That must be rather difficult.” A small frown flickered between Miss Chesterton’s eyes. “To still carry on with that affection, to have a heart filled with love for a gentleman that you cannot tie yourself to any longer must be a heavy burden to bear.”

Violet nodded. “It has been.” She swallowed against the ache in her throat, refusing to let the heat behind her eyes turn to tears. “But that is why I do not want to be in any gentleman’s company as yet, even though my father insists that I find myself a suitable match. Though he, of course, will determine whether or not the gentleman is rich enough in order to be suitable for me.”

A small sigh came from Miss Chesterton. “I am sorry to hear that. Wealth does not make a gentleman.”

“No, indeed it does not.” A fear began to spike through Violet’s mind and she let herself speak of it. “My greatest concern is that my father will force me to marry a gentleman of his choosing who will certainly have a great fortune but will have nothing within his character which would draw me to him.”

Miss Chesterton bit her lip and nodded. “To have a cruel husband would be a very great trial.”

“But my father does not care as to whether or not a gentleman will treat me with consideration,” Violet continued, quietly. “The fortune is the only matter for consideration.”

They continued to walk in silence for some minutes, both alone with their thoughts which, no doubt, were of a similar kind. Violet tried her best not to think about what her father would have planned for her, letting her gaze flick through the gentlemen and ladies near them – only for her eyes to catch sight of someone she recognized.

Violet stopped at once, her breath hitching, her heart pounding furiously as she swallowed hard.

“What is it?” Miss Chesterton asked, clearly not understanding what had stopped Violet so suddenly. “Is it –”

“Caroline… though she will be Lady Caroline now… she is here.” Violet’s words came out in snatches, her heart still pounding furiously though a cold chill ran down her frame. “And if she is present, then does that mean that her brother is here with her?”

Miss Chesterton caught her breath, her hand grasping Violet’s in an obvious show of comfort and support. “You think that the Duke of Lancaster is present?”

“I do not know.”

Miss Chesterton considered for a moment, then squeezed Violet’s hand before releasing it. “I am acquainted with Lady Caroline. Why do I not go to speak with her and find out where her brother might be?”

Violet shrank back all the more into the shadows, suddenly afraid of what it was that Lady Caroline would say, should Miss Chesterton mention that she was present. “I do not know what it is that Lady Caroline thinks of me or about what took place on my wedding day. I have no doubt that she will think very poorly of me, however, for I will have injured her brother most severely.”

“There is a chance that she will not feel as upset with you as you fear,” Miss Chesterton replied, softly. “Now, let me go speak with her and I will return to you, thereafter, informing you of what has been said.”

Violet nodded and watched Miss Chesterton step away, only to call her name. Miss Chesterton turned around, her eyebrow lifting as Violet pressed her hands tight together, fear and anxiety pouring through every part of her.

“Please, do not mention that I am present this evening unless it is asked of you,” she begged, relieved when Miss Chesterton began to nod. “I know that you will understand why.”

“Of course.”

Miss Chesterton turned away and returned to make her way back towards Lady Caroline only for Lady Caroline herself to turn around and catch sight of Miss Chesterton. She broke into a warm smile, though Violet noticed how her eyes went to where Violet herself stood, perhaps wondering where Miss Chesterton had emerged from or why there was no one else walking with her.

Violet wrapped the shadows around her shoulders a little more closely and watched with careful eyes.

I cannot imagine the anger and the upset I will have caused her also, she thought to herself, wondering what it was that the Duke of Lancaster would have said to his sister on the day of the wedding. I did not ever write to her once that day had passed. Mayhap I should have.

When she had first met the gentleman who was to become her betrothed, Violet had quickly been introduced to his younger sister who had been present in London but, given that she was not yet out, had not attended a great many social occasions. They had quickly become friends and Violet had found the young lady to be pleasant, charming and delightful. She had been intending to make her debut the following year and Violet had been thrilled at the thought of being able to assist in chaperoning her. How much damage she had caused when she had written that letter, ending her engagement and the wedding itself! It had not only been him that she had injured, Violet realized but she would also have caused pain to Caroline too.

If I could apologise for that, then I would do so.

Her breath caught in a gasp as she saw Miss Chesterton turn and gesture back to where Violet stayed hiding. She did not know what it was her friend was doing, given that Violet had specifically asked for her not to mention Violet’s own presence here in the ballroom. Yet, for whatever reason, Miss Chesterton appeared to be doing exactly that.

Violet’s stomach twisted violently and then began to roll as sweat broke out across her forehead. She could not seem to think any coherent thoughts, her mind jumping from one thing to the next as she worried about what Miss Chesterton was saying but also about what Lady Caroline was saying in response. Was she telling Miss Chesterton how little she wanted to be in Violet’s company? Was she being restrained – albeit with words – by Miss Chesterton, preventing her from making her way over to Violet and throwing insults and fury into her face?

Miss Chesterton laughed, just as Lady Caroline grinned broadly, making some of Violet’s doubts fly away. It did not appear as though the young lady was holding onto any sort of anger. Mayhap Miss Chesterton had not said a single thing about her presence and all would be quite well.

After a few more minutes, Violet watched her friend turn around and begin to make her way back to where Violet stood. A gentleman bowed to Lady Caroline and, thereafter, led her away to dance, giving Violet the confidence to step out of the shadows to greet Miss Chesterton.

“Well?” She could not help her urgency, her heart pounding still as Miss Chesterton smiled. “What did she say? Is the Duke of Lancaster present?”

Miss Chesterton put a hand to Violet’s arm. “She is not angry with you, Violet.”

“What do you mean?” Violet swallowed tightly as Miss Chesterton smiled.

“I mean about Lady Caroline. She saw someone standing at the back of the room, near to where I had come from and she asked me who you were. I had no other choice but to mention your name.”

Violet closed her eyes and trembled.

“But as I have said, she is not angry with you,” Miss Chesterton repeated, quickly, as Violet opened her eyes to see her smiling face. “There is nothing to be concerned about there! In fact, she asked me very eagerly if she might speak with you, only for another gentleman to come and remind her that they were to dance.”

“But what did you say? Did you say that I would speak with her?”

“No, I did not,” Miss Chesterton replied, quickly. “I made sure to tell her that I would speak to you first and thereafter, if you wished to, you would approach her.”

Violet shook her head, swallowing thickly. “I do not think I am ready to speak with her.” She looked back into Miss Chesterton’s eyes. “Are you quite certain she is not angry with me?”

“I am more than certain,” came the reply. “She assured me over and over again that she held no anger against you and begged me repeatedly to tell you of that. Why would she say such a thing if she did not mean it?”

“I cannot understand that.” Attempting to bring an end to the trembling in her frame, she took in a deep breath and then let it out again slowly. “I did her brother such a great unkindness. How can she – ”

“She stated that she knew you well enough to understand that there must have been something serious behind such a decision.” Miss Chesterton searched Violet’s eyes. “I do not think that she is lying, Violet. I do not think that she speaks even a single untruth for that is not what was in her face. I do believe that she is eager to speak with you.”

“And what of her brother?” Violet glanced out at the ballroom again, at the sea of faces, her fear beginning to grow all over again. “Is he here? Is he present?”

Miss Chesterton shook her head. “No, he is not. That is not to say that he is not in London, for yes, that is so, but he does not intend to often be in society. Apparently… ” Sucking in a breath, Miss Chesterton looked away. “Apparently he has no desire to set foot into society at present.”

Violet nodded slowly. “I understand. That is a small relief, at least.” She managed a smile. “For even if he did make his way to a ball or soiree, given my own situation at present, it is not likely that I would see him.”

“Or if you did, you can hide as you did with Lady Caroline… although she did see you.” Miss Chesterton laughed softly as Violet managed a slightly wobbly smile. “Now, what do you say? Will you speak to Lady Caroline?”

Hesitating, Violet shook her head. “No, not this evening. Not yet.”

“No?”

“No.” Violet took in a deep breath and set her shoulders. “It has been enough of a difficult evening already. Besides which, I should like to have time to think as to what I should say to her when the time comes!”

“Very well.” Miss Chesterton gestured to the dancing gentlemen and ladies. “Do you wish to sit and watch this dance or shall we continue on walking around the ballroom?”

Considering this, Violet smiled. “I think I should like to walk around the ballroom,” she decided, silently thinking that she would like to be standing in a different place when Lady Caroline returned. “I thank you for all of your help, Julia. It is truly appreciated.”

“But of course.” Turning, Miss Chesterton took a hold of Violet’s arm and together, they continued to set out for another walk around the ballroom. Try as she might, however, Violet could not take her thoughts from Lady Caroline and, the more she thought on her, the more the Duke of Lancaster came to mind.

It was now no longer a matter of if she would see him but when she would see him. She could only pray that she would be able to avoid his company completely during the entirety of the Season. If they were forced to acknowledge each other, there was nothing that Violet could think to say to him, if conversation was required.

Aside from telling him how sorry I am, she thought to herself, as Miss Chesterton began to chatter about one or two particular gentlemen. And how much I regret ever having stepped away from him.