Chapter Seventeen

“You are smiling, brother.”

Stephen quickly rearranged his features though Caroline only laughed and elbowed him in the ribs.

“I may be a little happier today, I shall confess to that,” he admitted, albeit a little reluctantly. “But do not press me on it, Caroline. I am permitted to be a little brighter, am I not?”

Caroline laughed and tucked her arm into his. “You need not think that I am going to question you,” she said, softly as they walked together through St James’s Park. “I know very well what has made your spirits improve.”

“Oh?”

She looked up at him. “It has been a sennight since the ball where you danced with Lady Violet. Do not think that I have not noticed how much you have smiled since then. What she said to you has climbed into your heart and has healed a great many wounds, has it not?”

Stephen blinked quickly, a little surprised that his sister had taken ahold of such a thing without his awareness. “I suppose that is so,” he admitted, speaking slowly as he tried to understand the difference within himself. He had not noticed it himself, but evidently, what he had been thinking about and what he had come to accept had made an impact upon his character. “I have been considering all that Lady Violet told me, as well as what her father suggested that night.”

At this, Caroline’s smile faded. “Her father?”

Stephen nodded. “Lord Craighall is nothing more than a deceiver. He pretended to me that Lady Violet was the one to blame for the ending of our engagement.”

“But you cannot believe him!” Caroline exclaimed, as Stephen nodded quickly. “My goodness, why would he say such a thing as that?”

“I presume because he wanted to deflect blame from himself,” Stephen answered, slowly, his own thoughts still hurrying through his mind. “Had not Lady Violet spoken to me at the first, however, I do think that I might have been taken in by him and that concerns me greatly. I did not ever imagine that Lord Craighall had such deceit in him.”

Caroline scowled. “Lady Violet has suffered a great deal, brother. She has been in just as much pain and in just as much torment – if not more – than you these last few years, I am quite sure of it.”

Stephen scowled. “That may be true, unfortunately. I am only sorry… ” He came to a stop, realizing what he had been about to say and then, seeing his sister’s glance towards him, sighed and continued on. “I am only sorry that I did not see it before.”

Caroline’s eyes flared and Stephen’s face grew warm as he considered just how drastic a change there must be in his demeanor for his sister to appear so surprised. At the very same time, he saw how great and heavy the shadows had been which he had pulled her into the last few years. It had not only been himself and Lady Violet in pain. Caroline had been dragged into it too.

He groaned and rubbed one hand over his face, coming to a stop as Caroline’s hand fell from his arm.

“Are you quite all right, brother?”

“I am, I am.” With a sigh, Stephen shook his head. “Have I been a dreadful beast these last few years, Caroline?”

The way her eyes rounded told him that she was not only surprised to hear him ask the question but was also a little uncertain as to whether or not she ought to answer truthfully.

“Please, Caroline,” he said, softly, “do not pretend for my sake. I am slowly becoming aware of just how much of a beast I have been to you. Tell me the truth.”

Caroline’s expression softened just a little. “It has been difficult, yes.”

“Because I have been an ogre, yes?”

“You have been in pain,” she said, quietly, “but you could not or would not listen to me when I suggested to you that there was more to this than you believed. You did not think for a moment that Lady Violet was having a great trial, just as you were. You were convinced that she had lied to you, that she did not care for you and thus, you took that darkness and you wrapped it tightly around yourself.”

Stephen nodded, aware that this was entirely true. “I did. Yes.”

“But I am glad now that you have been able to see the truth,” his sister continued softly. “The way that you were willing to first of all, speak with Lady Violet and thereafter, to consider what she said has led you to this and I am truly glad for you.” Her head tilted just a little, her eyes sharp but gentle still. “Might I ask if you still care for her?”

Her question sent a streak of shock right through Stephen as fire began to burn right through him.

“You do not want to answer me, I can see.” Caroline let out a quiet laugh and then lifted her shoulders, letting them fall. “That is quite all right. I do not mind in the least. Though might I say, if you have another opportunity to draw close to her again, then why would you not pursue it? It is clear to my mind that your happiness is closely connected with Lady Violet.”

Stephen blinked but then coughed, turning his attention away from his sister. “It is not something I have let myself consider as yet,” he told her, beginning to walk again as his sister slipped her hand through his arm. “But I will tell you truly that I am sorry for how difficult I have made the last few years for you.”

Caroline turned her head and Stephen was rather surprised to see tears in her eyes. “Oh, Stephen,” she said, so quietly that he struggled to hear her, and also a little astonished to hear her speak his first name in such a way for it was not something she had said in many a year. “I want to hold a grudge against you, I want to make you feel truly dreadful for what you have done but I confess that now we are here, now you are a little happier and now that I have seen just how much Lady Violet means to you, I let go of all of my upset and my frustration for the last few years.”

A sense of guilt swamped Stephen and he dropped his gaze, his face burning as his skin prickled. “I am sorry, Caroline. I have been selfish and inconsiderate.”

“But you are happier now and indeed, even in all of this, I am happier,” Caroline interjected before he could say anything further. “I am here in London, I have good company and I have my brother, the brother I knew some years ago, has returned to me.”

Stephen did not know what to say. There was a heat behind his eyes which he pressed back, looking out at the path and realizing in that moment, what forgiveness felt like. He was letting go of all that he had held against Lady Violet and in that, there was a deep sense of relief and even joy – and then to know that Caroline had let her upset against him go also made him want to hug her tight and apologise all the more.

What about Lord Hampton?

Recalling how he had thrown aside many of the gentleman’s letters, a gentleman whom he had called his friend for many years before the ending of his engagement, Stephen felt himself shamed all the more. “I will have to say something to Lord Hampton, will I not?”

“Lord Hampton?”

The sudden anticipation in Caroline’s voice made Stephen frown, seeing the way her eyebrows had lifted. “Yes, Lord Hampton,” he said, frowning a little. “Why? You do not think that he requires an apology from me also? I would have thought you would be encouraging me towards that!”

“I… I am. Yes, of course, Lord Hampton requires an apology from you,” Caroline replied, stammering a little as she looked up at him only to pull her gaze away quickly. “I am only surprised that you would think to do such a thing, that is all.”

Stephen could not help but smile at this, though it was a little sad. “Yes, I suppose that is true. I can see now just how difficult I have made things for everyone, including myself. I should never have ignored all of Lord Hampton’s letters. That was wrong of me and I shall apologise to Lord Hampton.” His smile grew as she smiled. “It seems as though a single conversation with Lady Violet – indeed, a conversation with her where I have been forced to admit that she is speaking the truth – has brought a fresh light to my heart and a happiness to my soul which has not been present for a very long time.”

“I think that is true,” Caroline agreed, softly. “That will bring about a lasting change to you, I hope.”

“I hope so too.” Stephen smiled and then, much to his surprise, saw none other than Lord Craighall approaching, accompanied by his daughter and Lady Craighall. Of Lady Violet, there was no sign and Stephen’s heart immediately sank.

“Your Grace!”

Any hope of not being noticed by Lord Craighall were dashed away in an instant as the gentleman waved one hand in the clear hope of being drawn into conversation with Stephen. Glancing at Caroline, Stephen gave a quick nod towards Lord Craighall, making no attempt to slow down their walking as he nodded to Lord and Lady Craighall.

“Good afternoon!” Lord Craighall exclaimed, coming to a stop as Stephen drew near, again ending all hopes of him continuing to walk and ending the conversation before it had even begun. “How very pleasant to see you, Your Grace. And how all the more wonderful it is to be in your company also, Lady Caroline.”

Caroline dropped into a curtsy as Stephen inclined his head, a little frustrated at being pulled into conversation.

“My daughter, Lady Violet, is a little behind us, walking with Miss Chesterton,” Lord Craighall continued, when Stephen said nothing. “Perhaps you might like to speak with her?”

The light in his eyes and the hope which flickered there gave Stephen pause. What was it that he wanted from Stephen at this point? After all, since he had been the one to force Lady Violet to end their engagement, it seemed unusual for him to be encouraging Stephen back towards her now.

“Though as you see, I also have Marianne present,” Lord Craighall smiled, gesturing to his daughter who, Stephen noticed, was flushing red as her gaze darted low. “I am sure that –”

“Alas, I must take my leave quickly,” Stephen said, rather brusquely as Caroline shot him a quick look. “We have an evening occasion to prepare for and I cannot be tardy.”

The disappointment which rippled across Lord and Lady Craighall’s expressions was obvious but Stephen did not give it a moment’s notice. Instead, he turned and, with a nod, took his leave of them directly, though his heart was beating rather quickly as he continued along the path, taking Caroline with him. The eagerness to find Lady Violet was rather fervent and though Stephen attempted to quell it, to keep ahold of it, he simply could not. The moment he saw her, the moment her eyes met his, Stephen’s whole being burned hot and his lips pulled into a broad smile.

“Your Grace.” Lady Violet quickly dropped into a curtsy, as did Miss Chesterton. “How pleasant to see you.” Her gaze went over his shoulder to where, no doubt, her mother, father and sister were still waiting. “I presume that my father spoke with you?”

He nodded, wishing that he could find a way to tell her that he did not believe a single thing that her father had said to him, though at this present moment in front of his sister and Miss Chesterton, he could not.

“I do hope all went well,” she continued, her eyes holding a little worry.

“It was only brief,” he returned, seeing how relief caught her expression. “Though I did make my excuses as to why we could not linger in conversation!”

She smiled at this though, as Miss Chesterton began to speak to Caroline, she glanced at him and then came a little closer to him, her eyes widening just a little. “Your Grace, my father has said some more things to me and I think… I think it would be best if I shared them with you.”

Stephen frowned, uncertain as to what that meant.

“Are you to attend Lord Bradford’s soiree this evening? Or are you at another event?”

“I am to attend Lord Bradford’s soiree,” Stephen replied, a little confused as to what she meant. “Is this an urgent matter?”

In answer, Lady Violet closed her eyes and took in a long breath, before finally opening them again and looking up at him. “It is of a serious nature,” she said, though that did not entirely answer Stephen’s question. “Mayhap we might speak this evening?”

“Of course,” Stephen answered slowly as faint relief came into her eyes, though she caught the edge of her lip in clear worry. “If there is something significant, then might you not tell me now?”

She shook her head. “We are only just renewing our connection, Your Grace. I do not want to overwhelm you, not when you have only just begun to understand what it is that took place on our wedding day.”

“I –” Stephen stopped himself and then, considering for a moment, chose to say what was in his mind. “Lady Violet, I do want you to know that I believe you. These last few days, I have been considering everything you have said and in doing that, I have found everything about myself to be changed. Caroline herself has noticed it and to my shame, I realise how much I have hurt and injured others. I should, I suppose, apologise to you for my lack of trust in your words and in your affections towards me at the time. We remained without connection for so long whereas, had I reached out, had I written to you, then I might have been able to find a sense of understanding. I might have been able to even find a way to… ”

Lady Violet’s eyes widened. “To do what?” she whispered, and though Stephen was standing near his sister and Miss Chesterton, though he was as close to them as could be, he could only see Lady Violet.

“Perhaps I might have found a way to come to you,” he said, a little throatily. “Had I known that the decision had not been your own, then I might have found a way to bring back what was always meant to be.”

When she touched his hand, Stephen’s skin prickled and his heart leapt with something akin to joy. In hearing the truth from her lips, in accepting it and in finding himself joyous, he had altered so significantly within himself, it was as though he had opened up a door and stepped out into the light of a new day. Everything about him had changed, his whole demeanor lightened and his heart now no longer filled with heavy sorrow but, to his surprise, a faint hope. Was there a way, even now, even all these years later, that they might find a way to return to what they had once shared? Dare he even let himself believe in that?

“I must go.” Lady Violet quickly released his hand and then, her face flushed red, looked up at him. “This evening, Your Grace?”

“This evening,” he agreed, a little throatily as she began to make her way past him, leaving him alone with Caroline again. “Come, Caroline.”

They walked in silence for some minutes, though Stephen could almost feel the intensity of Caroline’s gaze as she continued to look at him. Growing a little exasperated, he sighed and stopped, turning to face her.

“What is it, Caroline?”

“She took your hand.”

He closed his eyes, a little irritated that she had noticed despite the happiness in his heart. “Yes, she did.”

“And does that please you?”

“It does not mean a great deal,” he said, firmly, not wanting Caroline to come up with any sort of idea as to what might be happening when he himself had not thought about it completely. “Now, let us consider this evening and what is to come next.”

Caroline smiled and with a slight shrug, turned her gaze back towards the path though she did not say another word. Stephen too found himself smiling, though he knew that came solely from what he had shared with Lady Violet and nothing more. But what was it that she wanted to tell him this evening?