34. Millie

34

MILLIE

Three Weeks Later

I fainted after Nash tried to explain. I spent the next two weeks surrounded by doctors and police in the hospital. Nash took me in when I went unconscious, and because I had to know if Hayden and Kallum were telling the truth about ‘Valkyries,' I asked them to run scans all over me and dive deep into my blood.

Doctors ran multiple tests on me but could not find any cancers, disease, or tumors. They said something small popped up, and they sent it in for tests, but I won't get those results for a while. So, I think my death will most likely be caused by heart failure. Or maybe the cancer won't show up until I turn twenty-three. Either way, I felt like I had escaped fear, only to be thrown back into it. I would wake up every day wondering if my heart would stop beating.

My face and return to my home have been on every single news network, and I hate it. I hate that I'm now known as a girl who mysteriously disappeared and has now returned safely, but I won't give any details about what I went through.

I'm just not fucking ready. I don't think I'll ever be prepared to share. The police are trying to push me for answers, as well as the therapist they hired to come to my house once a week, but I don't want to talk about it. So I talk about my parents instead.

Or maybe you're still trying to protect Hayden and the ones you love by not revealing his existence. You still love him.

Either way, I cannot form any sentences about Hayden without wanting to cry. So, if I think I'm going to get to a place where I feel like I'm going to scream or break, I push away and avoid the conversation. I explained to Nash that he needs to respect my boundaries by letting me open up to him when I find the perfect moment. He told the police and everyone who was invested or cared about me to back off for now, and everyone agreed.

Leah and even Cole offered me to stay at their place so I wouldn't be alone. I reassured them that I wanted to take on my healing journey by being alone . I haven't been alone. I want to grieve my father and what I went through…alone. I need to learn to find solace in solidarity, even if it's one of the lowest times in my life.

I want space and time to think about everything that I went through and losing my father. It doesn't feel real. It's like I refuse to accept my horrid reality where vampires exist and my father is gone.

My mom has called my father's house multiple times to check, and we've talked. The conversations are short, but at least she's checking on me. It's weird to see my mom care about me, but I'm still getting used to it.

Cole told me that our entire small town was on edge because nothing wrong ever happens here, so when I went missing and news of my father's death spread, rules were put in place, and now Santana was on curfew by seven.

The first night in my house was terrible—rough is an understatement. Every time the house creaked, I screamed. Whenever the trees hit my window from the wind blowing a little too hard, I would jump and look around for unusual, vibrant, glowing eyes and sharp teeth.

I tossed and turned, but Cooper would lick my hand, reassuring me that I was okay. It's incredible that dogs can sense when something is wrong internally. I know he can feel the emotional battles I'm fighting.

As Hayden promised, he follows me in my dreams. When I close my eyes, I see him. But I don't picture the depraved side; it's always the moments that made me feel something good when I lived with him.

Even though I managed to get away, I'm still his prisoner .

I dreamt of him holding me when I confessed to my suicidal attempt as a teenager. I dreamt of him caring for me while watching my favorite comedy show and cuddling in bed when I had a fever. I dreamt of us both looking at each other brokenly, searching for solace and love within each other because we never had something so pure and rare growing up. I even dreamt of the times we made love with that beautiful giant red ruby ring on my finger. His touch was euphoric, unique, and distinct and I don't think any man will ever be able to match the way he made me feel those months. I wake up flustered, but then I cry when I remember that he forced me to fall in love with him. Everything was built on lies.

He's a monster .

"Do you want to cry and let me hold you while you do that?" Cole breathes out, with sincerity laced in his deep tone. I tilt my head upward on his shoulder. Even through the dark night, the moon and lights from the street illuminate his handsome face. I look into his eyes and watch his blonde, shaggy hair move with the wind. He seems different…more masculine, and fit. It's probably just me, and he's always looked like this.

I asked my brother to get me out of the house. I wanted to start facing my fears one by one, which was the moon. How embarrassing is that? But it's because I know that our world is full of creatures that come out to play during the night and are out for blood, but knowing that Hayden is far away and the Southern Vampire King is dead, I feel a layer of immunity.

Unfortunately, Nash said he had much studying to catch up on, so he invited Cole to come over and take me out. It's the weekend before Thanksgiving, and I need a breather from being isolated in my house.

Being with Hayden was suffocating, yet the most alive I had ever felt. How could those two coexist?

Nash has been grocery shopping and doing house chores. He's been sleeping downstairs on the couch. We both can't step inside our father's bedroom without feeling a never ending sorrow that hits us like a wave that'll drown us in grief. It's like we're both afraid to admit he's gone and never coming back.

"Millie?" Cole's concerned tone brings me back to my cruel reality. I blink rapidly, forcing myself to concentrate on my present. Because I'm not in Montana. I'm not with Hayden. I'm with Cole, eating popcorn and drinking soda at a drive-in movie theater, watching The Faculty next to other college students in groups and young couples making out.

My eyes fall to his pink lips, and I can feel his muscles tighten when he catches my gaze. I give him a slight curve of my lips as I turn back to the projector in front of us. "I'm done crying. I just want to smile."

He holds me tighter, and the memories of when he gave me oral sex a year ago come back. I always thought he would be my first; maybe I should have taken it further that day, but I knew our relationship would be based on unsure feelings if I had.

Because, yes, he's a good man. He's been there for me since we started working together at Nostalgia Coffee Shop, but I didn't crave him like he needs and deserves. I learned what that truly feels like earlier this year from a sinister monster with hypnotizing features.

Right after Cole went down on me that day and made me have my first orgasm with his tongue, I felt bliss, but then the pizza man rang his door, interrupting our moment, and then we spent the rest of the holiday together watching movies, and I even helped him study until he took me home. He's always respectable, always patient, and a gentleman.

We sit there watching a movie about aliens attacking a school, and I find myself finally forgetting a little about Hayden. Cole's finger circles the skin of my arm right by my tricep, and I stare at it.

"I missed you." Cole's blatant confession warms me.

I clench my jaw, fighting the flutter in my stomach. I don't want to talk about my absence.

A jump scare plays in the movie, causing everyone to gasp and scream. I look around and try to focus on my breathing.

"I knew something was wrong when you quit, and then you disappeared… I felt guilty . I felt like I should have tried to pry better and protect you because that's what friends do, right?" Cole explains with a stern tone. "I love you, Millie. I'm telling you this now because I regretted not saying it before you vanished. I love you in many ways. I love you like a coworker, a friend, a lover…"

I stay focused on the movie and purse my lips. "There's nothing you could have done. Please don't feel bad about what happened to me."

"What did happen to you? What happened to your father? Do you have any idea who did that? Is it the same person that took you? Do you know where this criminal asshole is?" He sits more up and leans forward until his cheek is centimeters from colliding with mine.

"Millie? You can talk to me—just like old times. I've never betrayed your trust, and I never will. You can tell me anything?—"

I cut him off and snap.

"I can tell you anything, huh ? How's this? The person who took me and killed my father is a monster. A monster that I fell in love with. How's that?" I fight the lump in my throat as I shift in the passenger seat.

His eyes widen, and he swallows nervously. His teeth grind, and I can only imagine he's thinking about what falling in love with my captor entails, but I will spare him the details of fucking a vampire. By the way his body slumps and his hands tremble with anger, he gets the idea, and it crushes him.

"I'm scared of everything right now. I'm scared that he's still here, watching me. I can still feel him inside me. I can still feel the way he moves and walks. I'm scared that if he sees you holding me right now or even looking at me the way you are, he'll kill you . And he'll take pleasure in hearing you scream just because you care about me the way he does."

There it is again, a sting pricks my eyes and threatens to break me, but this time, I relax my shoulders and suck in a shaky breath. Cole tenses and his warm fuzzy aura about him diminishes into a cold stare. His forehead is clammy, and I can feel his outrage radiating like a magnet.

"He's the one that should be scared. If I ever get my hands on him, he'll regret ever touching you," he threatens as he balls his fists.

I scoff and tilt my head side to side because he has no idea that when I say monster, I mean an immortal vampire.

"Cole. He's bad. Very, very bad. I don't want to think about anything. I don't want to think about missing my father's closed-casket funeral because he was so badly mutilated that they could only identify him by his teeth. I don't want to think about anything, please …"

What am I pleading for exactly? For Hayden to come back and pretend that he's actually a good guy and hold me because it's his arms I want to melt into right now? Or for my heart to fail so I can be with my dad? Because I refuse to turn into a creature that craves blood and lives a malice outrageous lifestyle that will have me damned to hell.

I feel so lost.

Cole forces a smile through his tortured face, hearing me fall apart. He grabs my hand, pulls it to his lips, and kisses my knuckles.

"I'm going to get us some M it reminds me why he's one of my close friends.

He leans in closer like he's about to kiss me. I slowly blink, like I'm lost. What do I do?

Then lightning strikes in the distance, causing a flash of bright blue light to illuminate the drive-in theater momentarily. Thunders follows suit, rattling the car's windows and the metal on Cole's hood.

Suddenly, I see a familiar shade of crimson.

Vibrant. Glowing. And ominous eyes on me.

Hayden .

I scream. Lightning strikes again, causing the movie to jump and the screen to go black for a few seconds. It's enough to distract me from the eerie, tall figure behind Cole and hidden in the trees behind him a few feet away. I look back to the dancing trees, but he's not there anymore.

Am I seeing things? Or is he really here? Watching me? Planning to kill the rest of my family because I escaped him? Either way, he's haunting me. Will I ever truly evade him?

I grab Cole's hands, pull them off me to protect him, and jump in the passenger seat. Fear invades my vessels, and I palm my scream with cold hands. Everyone in the drive-in theater turns to me as I try to catch my breath after finishing a loud, high-pitched, blood-curdling bellow.

Cole's in my face, inspecting me. "What's wrong, Millie? It's just lightning, darling." He cups my jaw, forcing me to look at him.

But I can't talk. I can't even look at him because I'm so concentrated on the trees behind him. Tears fall from the corner of my eyes, and I dig my fingers into Cole's jacket fiercely.

"Get me home, now! I want to go. We have to go, okay? Please?" I hold onto his arms like a lifejacket. He nods and kisses my forehead.

"Looks like the rain came early tonight, anyway. Let's get you into bed." He closes the windows and turns on the vehicle. He carefully reverses his truck, and we pull out of the field. Soon enough, rain patters the windshield, and Cole turns on the wipers. During the drive, Cole plays Oasis, and I try to focus on the trees. I keep waiting to see red eyes or dark brown hair again, but it never comes.

It couldn't be him. I'm being paranoid. I know it wasn't him because if it were, Cole would be dead right now, and I'd be getting dragged back to Montana against my will. It couldn't be him…

As Cole walks me to my house, Nash waits for me at the door, arms crossed and worried.

"Do you want me to stay the night? I can stay downstairs. Or in your bedroom? Whatever you want. I don't feel good about leaving you alone," Cole offers sweetly when we get to my porch. He walked me to my door like the perfect gentleman that he's always been. I smile, and I'm on my tip-toes to reach his cheek. I brush my lips softly on his winter-kissed skin.

"I'll be fine…" I lie. He knows it, Nash knows it, and I know it. I'm sure Nash has told him about the nights I wake up screaming…

I'm back in their Southern Vampire territory, and I know I may still be in trouble deep down. Even though Hayden was unhinged and unstable, he would never actually hurt me .

I rush into the house before Cole can complete his farewell. Nash tries to stop me.

"Millie…wait! How was the movie?"

But I'm in the house half a second later. I dart inside the living room, passing the television that plays a Christmas movie. I barge into my room and start packing my things. I need to leave. I need to become a ghost if I want to live the last two years of my life in peace, knowing that my family will be safe from all the vampires that know where I live. The longer I'm around them, the more I put them at risk, and I can't have that hanging over my head.

I'll spend one more day here and catch a flight to Alaska. I have some money saved up from the coffee shop, and I'll use it to fly. It should be enough to keep me afloat for a month until I find a job.

Still, before I go to bed that night, I stare at my work roller skates as I wonder about Hayden and his mother, with whom I formed a strange, unusual bond. I keep pondering whether he ended up marrying another vampire. His father wanted his marriage to be finalized this month, and since I am no longer with him, it makes sense that his title and position would move forward, and he would be the new vampire king in his region, with or without me.