24. Millie

24

MILLIE

When I wake up, it takes a minute to gather my thoughts. I blink slowly as I take in Hayden's room. His arm is around my waist, securing me into him like he's afraid I'll disappear. There are no windows in here. The candles that never die out illuminate his room dimly.

I shift my legs, and soreness all over strikes back. Soreness in between my thighs, my hips, my wrists, and where I cut myself to distract the Southern King.

It's still wrapped up perfectly.

I pull off the bandage slowly. I hold it in my other hand and inspect it. I expect to see inflammation around the wound, but it already looks well into healing.

That's a good sign, I guess.

The memories of last night come back.

Hayden killed the Southern King .

His ultimatum if I try to escape again .

And then I surrendered myself to him… entirely .

He came inside me. I felt the evidence of it drip down my thighs. The blood from him breaking into my virginity was left on his blankets, right underneath our hips.

I'm on birth control because I get painful periods. But in just a few days, I'll need another shot. Now that I'm actually sexually active…wait, will I even need it?

I want to wake him up. There are so many questions about how all of this works. How did he become a vampire? If biting a human isn't enough to turn them into a vampire, what is the process like? How does the vampire royalty thing work? When can I see my parents again? My brothers? My mother? And…Cole?

I'm afraid of what he'll do to him or any guy that comes near me.

I peek a glance at Hayden and turn my head on the pillow. There's fluff and torn fabric everywhere on the bed. The headboard is crushed in that one spot where he gripped it violently when I didn't tell him I loved him right away. I could tell he was holding back his vampire strength when he fucked me last night. This man could crush all my bones with a simple flick but chose to fuck me as gently as possible as he could.

Since the war is over…am I able to walk around the cathedral freely now?

I can unlock his door. He thinks he won't try to escape since I promised him I wouldn't. It would be perfect to take advantage now that he's gone to sleep for the day.

I scoot away until my feet touch the floor, and his arm falls to the bed. I expect a creature-like growl to follow suit…or for him to pull me back into him. But nothing. A weight falls off my shoulders, and I wait a couple more seconds before I make my move to stand.

I watch him, and he's still. His chest rises and falls like a human would. He's on his back, his head tilted to the side, and all the bruises and cuts are gone from fighting vampires last night. It's like they weren't there in the first place.

He's out cold, sleeping like a rock. This is my chance. I assume it's still early in the day, so I have more time to put distance between him and me.

But then his ominous promise echoes into my mind, sending goosebumps trickling down every corner of my skin.

"You leave me, Millie…and I will burn my own damn kingdom to the ground. You deny me, and I will make everyone around you hurt for it. I will never stop. I have fallen in love with you. Don't run from me…"

"If you try to leave me again, I will drag you back here and make sure to hold you tighter than before."

The shivers are more robust, and I tuck that plan away.

I feel like a new person after sharing something I've never shared with anyone before. This was my first time being intimate…and my first time was with a vampire.

Just that thought alone has me questioning my sanity. Is this all real?

I rub my temples with my fingers as I search for clothes while naked. I blink hard as I go through Hayden's drawers and grab the first clothes I can find.

Black sweater and sweatpants that look way too big for me, but that'll do for now. I walk into a bathroom that looks very similar to mine and take a shower.

The entire time I clean myself up, I stare at his bitemarks and scrub them with a loofah, hoping and wishing they would disappear. Then I scrub the one that is a permanent scar on my neck until my skin is raw. But no matter how badly I wash, they're there. I think it's time to accept that I've become his own personal supply of morphine.

After taking a shower, I realize it's already past noon. Being kept up late at night is starting to catch up to me. I'm getting closer and closer to staying up all night and sleeping all day like Hayden wants.

As soon as I open the door to Hayden's room with the skeleton key, two Kingsguards are waiting for me. They escort me down to a luxurious dining room. Red stained glass is everywhere. Showering red rays of the sun at a very long vintage wooden table that looks able to seat about twenty people. There sits a fresh breakfast plate with naturally squeezed and pulped orange juice.

Chilaquiles .

"Um, this is one of my favorite meals. I haven't had it in forever. How?—"

"Hayden gave us a list of all your favorite meals." As if the Kingsguard can read my mind, he mumbles behind me with a deadpan look.

Of course, Hayden knows . He knows everything somehow. My stalker turned vampire captor.

I clear my throat as I stare at the meal before me. My mouth waters, and I go for the fried pinto beans first.

My grandmother made this for me growing up when I would spend every weekend with her because I couldn't stand being around Santiago.

After scarfing down my breakfast, I care for Hayden's mother's garden. I water the plants, and the anticipation of watching them bloom pulls at my heart. I don't know why, but it makes Hayden's mother happy to have me here…taking care of her plants.

I love peonies.

It's a few minutes before sundown. I smell the air, and if nature has a scent, this is it. Woods, dirt, the sound of the river flowing, and waterfalls are the white noise I dream about coming to life. Birds are singing, and I close my eyes, enjoying the outdoors. I purposefully take longer outside to enjoy nature. I've never been to this part of the country, and it hits me.

I need to travel more.

The sky is dark, full of shades of blue and purple mixed together. The air is fresh, warm, and perfect for a walk.

But that's a fantasy because as long as I'm here, I will always be a prisoner without freedom.

"Hurry up, Ms. Flores!" Charles barks from the door.

I grimace at his voice. Rolling my eyes, I mimic his commands like a petulant child with an immature mockery of silent words.

Charles is following me everywhere I go. As soon as I enter the Cathedral after watering the plants and caring for the garden, I see Queen Drago.

Hayden's mom .

"Isn't she such a delight?" She's dressed in gothic black garments. A long dress that goes down past her knees as she watches me. I walk in shyly.

"All watered. Should expect to bloom very soon." I smile, rubbing the leftover dirt from my hand on the sides of my clothes.

"Millie. It's been a while since…" She chokes up, and I swear I see blackness enter the whites of her eyes like she's about to cry.

"Since what?" I murmur softly.

"Since my son has smiled—a true pure smile he got from not inflicting pain on others. It's been a while since something came into this Cathedral that made us all feel something good. You belong here, Millie."

I don't know what to say. It seems to me that they all want to keep me here…except Hayden's dad. Speak of the devil; he's down the hall. I peek over Cordelia's shoulder, and his eyes flash red. It seems to me he's trying everything he can not to murder me as the ends of his lips tremble from disgust.

This man hates me…

"Cordelia!" He shouts at her with a low growl that bounces off the black walls.

Her smile slowly fades. I stand there awkwardly, and she reaches for me. I tense up as her cold knuckles collide with my cheek.

Is she going to hurt me?

But then she slides her hand up and down, soothingly, like a mother would to her daughter—something my mother has never done. The gesture is unfamiliar but warm.

"You have something special about you. You're too kind...too?—"

Come here, Millie .

Hayden's command echoes in my head like he's far away but so close. He talks to me the same way he did while chasing me through the crowd at the concert when he saved me from Cal.

I jump, my heart backflips, and my chest tightens at his deep voice. My body movements stop Cordelia from finishing her sentence. She watches me like she knows her son calls to me.

She smiles and walks away to her fuming husband.

Millie. I can feel you. Come to me, baby.

Dark butterflies swarm, and I react. After Cordelia leaves with her husband, I begin my journey back to the vampire who holds me captive.

After about five minutes, I'm back in front of his bedroom. Charles opens the door to his room for me, and I walk in.

The first thing I see is the broken headboard. The wall has holes, and the bed sheets are torn. My brow lifts curiously. Where is he ?

The moon shines through, and a gust of calm, cool wind hits me, making my black hair fly past my shoulder. I change my gaze to the night sky a few feet away.

Hayden .

He stands tall on the balcony with a cigarette in his hand. He's wearing a black sweater, dark pants, and black boots. His hair is combed back on the sides, and strands fall seamlessly on his forehead.

He's not in his signature suit.

He turns around and smiles as he flicks his cigarette. He motions me forward with his fingers.

I swallow nervously.

As soon as I step on the balcony, he grabs my hand and pulls me to his chest. He kisses me hard, pressing his lips to mine as he consumes me with his mouth. A flutter ignites in my chest, and my core pulsates. And then he pulls back. He cups my face in his large, cold hands.

"How do you feel?"

I sigh, with heat creeping into my cheeks as I remember him inside me. The memories of our bodies tangled forces my clit and chest to pulse. Fireworks explode inside my stomach as flashes of him, slicking in and out of me last night with sweat, anchor me into that familiar wave of euphoria.

"Sore," I murmur.

"That's normal. Have you eaten? Drank water?" His concern for my health is evident. He almost destroyed me with his cock last night, and I loved every dark second.

"Yes, and yes."

His thumb brushes the scar on my neck, and he admires the branding he gave me with his teeth.

"Good girl." He leans in for a kiss. I tense up as he leans down, expecting him to cut my lips open again, but he's gentle. He stays there like he's cherishing my warm flesh on his cold one.

"I can't forgive myself for almost killing you last night." He grinds his teeth as he pulls away. He brushes my hair with his hand with a broken look. His blue eyes look lost in mine.

"It's okay. I'm here. I'm alive. Bruised…but alive," I joke with a forced smile, but he doesn't laugh at my dry humor.

"The thought of hurting you kills me." He tells me as he stares straight into my soul. His sweater hugs all of his tensed muscles so well.

"Hayden…I have a lot of questions on how all of this works. You came inside me."

He smirks like he's proud of himself. "And you're on birth control, are you not?"

I furrow my brows at his bluntness.

How does he know ?

"How do you know that?" I step back, but he pulls me back into him again. His scent hits my nostrils, and I restrain myself from burying in his arms. Everything about him is so intoxicating.

"I've been watching you for months after I rescued you in the club."

"Can vampires get humans pregnant?" I palm my belly. The thought of carrying Hayden's child runs through my mind.

"Yes." He puts out his cigarette and leans on the balcony railing. My eyes widen. I need to get my shot again or make the man wear condoms if we're going to continue to do this.

"Would it be such a bad thing if you carry my child? I do need an heir one day." He puts his calloused, cold palm on my hand as he gazes at my belly like he's imagining my nine months pregnant bump.

I stiffen and look down at our conjoined hands.

"And there's no way in hell I'm having a child with anyone else now that I've fallen in love with you, and you are mine," he says.

"Hayden…" I start but don't finish. I don't know what to say. He notices my hesitation and backs off.

"What other questions do you have, baby?" He turns around and crosses his big arms over his chest. He stares at his boots briefly before looking at me like he's mesmerized. Like a man obsessed.

"How do humans become vampires? If biting me is not enough, how does one become like you?

His face falls, and he's the most serious I've ever seen him.

"Do you want to be one? Because that can be arranged. Just say the word, and I'll turn you. We can be together for eternity. Have you changed your mind?" He takes a step toward me with hope written all over his body language. I swallow nervously and shake my head.

"I haven't changed my mind, Hayden."

He sighs and straightens his back in disappointment. His bones pop as he stretches.

"The powers are inevitable because of your blood. I don't care about that…all I care about is having you around for eternity."

"What happens to a Valkyrie when they change?"

"A Valkyrie has never become like us before. So I don't have an answer for you."

He turns around and looks at the full moon behind us.

I'm about to ask why, but he interrupts my question.

"In order to turn, you have to consent. It's kind of like the warning: never invite vampires into your home. Well, never invite a vampire to bite you. You have to invite me to turn you. More specifically, recite the words ‘Volo unum esse cum morte' three times."

I quirk a brow when he speaks to me in a language I don't recognize.

"It's Latin, little Bambi. It means ‘I want to be one with death.'"

I shiver.

"You have to say those words before I bite you or in the act. As soon as you finish, your heart will stop beating, and you will be immortal."

"Were you born a vampire?"

"No…my mother had me when she was still a human. I turned when I was around thirty."

"I thought you guys couldn't kill Valkyrie's? Our relationship is forbidden in your world. It is the law, is it not?" I point out, and he scoffs.

"Nothing, and no one, will forbid me from having you. I will be king and I wouldn't kill you. I would turn you…if you consent. I want to keep you with me." His tone tweaks with madness.

"Why are your eyes red and the southern vampire's blue?"

"Every vampire's eyes are the color of their maker. Northern vampires are red. Southern's are blue. East is green, and west is magenta. Whatever color your eyes are is the king you serve."

I place my hands on my hips and pace on the balcony. If he turns me, my eyes will be red like his. This is not a life I aspire to have. I want to stay human, but I can't confess it flatly. I need to convince him to let me go slowly over time.

"I want to finish college. I want to see my parents again." I concede when I stop in front of his chest.

He towers over and smiles like I asked him if unicorns exist.

"You will, I promise. First, I need to speak to my father about something important." He kisses my lips quickly but softly and starts to walk away.

"I'm going to watch TV if you don't mind?"

He opens the door to his room and turns over his shoulder.

"Of course. I'll be back because we have a celebration to announce tonight."

What in the world could we be celebrating? The death of King Davenport, maybe?

"And what is that?" I ask.

"You'll see."