23. Millie

23

MILLIE

There are several reasons why I decided to cut myself like bait on a hook. It was to lure in the shark that's been after me. I've been treading their waters for far too long, and I'm ready for it to stop. I'm staring him down with pure, unwavering determination rooted in anger. Watching Hayden attempt to save me from King Davenport repeatedly but only resulting in failure…it's breaking my heart. So I'll do what I must. If I have to kill myself so that he can no longer spend his days in a constant state of mind of dreary over me, then so be it.

This Southern Vampire King is the reason why I can't be home with my family. With Cole. My friends. My school.

My father .

It felt like Hayden was in trouble…and as much as I'm angry with him—as much as I despise what he's done to me, I don't want him getting hurt, especially over me. It's an unfamiliar, weird emotion, but I don't want my captor hurt.

I focus on the blood falling down my arm, and it drops onto the floor. I'm breathing heavily as the pain from the cut still hasn't hit me yet. I tear my eyes from the vampires before me, realizing I may have cut myself too deep. The blood is overwhelming, so I shut down as I watch the one with bright blue, vibrant eyes launch himself forward like a bat, and I squeeze my eyes shut, preparing for my demise.

But it never comes. I wait and wait for it as my life flashes in my head—all the things I regret, all the good moments, and all the things I still want to accomplish.

I'm holding myself like I did at the concert when Hayden killed innocents and other vampires. Praying and wishing I was in my own snow globe again.

I close my eyes tight, and the pain in my arm no longer matters. What feels like hours lasts only minutes as I keep my eyes and ears closed.

"Baby…you're safe. Millie, look at me."

His dashing voice is muffled. I'm scared. I'm scared of the world we live in. I'm scared of hurting. I'm scared of him .

"Let me look at it," Hayden begs.

I shake my head.

"Is he gone? Is he dead? Is it all over?" I cry out softly.

"You're safe, baby. He's gone. You will always be safe with me…and only me ." He says it like it's a promise.

"Let me take care of this for you." He gently holds my profusely bleeding arm like I'm going to shatter.

I can't look at him while he does it. I know what's coming.

His icy tongue grazes the blood. He's licking it away. After a few long strokes, a bandage coils over my wound. I bury my eyes in my other hand as he takes care of me. I try not to scream. I'm gritting my teeth so hard that soft whimpers follow.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry you're hurt, baby." He lifts me into his arms like I'm featherlight.

"My prince, we can take her to another room. It's already prepared?—"

Hayden cuts off the Kingsguard. "No! She stays with me for the rest of her time."

Hayden's room is incredible. It's dark, with bookshelves everywhere—vintage decor from a century ago. Candles lit everywhere. The same candles that never seem to die.

"Hayden. I should go back into my room. I?—"

"You belong with me," he clips out. He closes and locks the door behind us with a skeleton key.

I close my mouth as I watch him. Everything feels like it's going in slow motion. He's different with me. He's still aggressive as ever, but there's devotion in his tone. In his movement. In his eyes.

Action speaks louder than words when I'm with him.

"You're mine, Millie. Don't be afraid. You'll never have to be afraid of me. I won't ever hurt you."

He lifts off my blood-stained garments, leaving me naked and bare. I'm staring back at his muscled chest. Tan, perfectly contoured like the devil took his time creating this sinfully handsome bloodlust demon. He tilts my chin upwards to meet his cold, ice-blue eyes. His dashing face is still littered with deep bruises and cuts.

"What you did…" His smooth voice seeps into my ears, making my nerves coil with desire. His voice wreaks havoc on my body. It's soothing and deep, forcing my common sense nowhere to be found. He shakes his head disapprovingly. His dark brows pinch together like he's disappointed, but then there's a glimpse of happiness in those blue irises. I've never seen him like this before. He licks his lips and trails a slender finger up and down my neck where he marked me. The only thing I can hear is my fast breathing. The tension between us is so thick because I know what's coming.

"I need you…Millie. I want you. And I want you now. Surrender your soul to me. Surrender every part of your body to me …"

He doesn't have to explain in detail. I know what he means. I know he craves me entirely . I just thought…Cole would always be my first.

A tear falls from my eye, and he wipes it away with pained, narrow brows.

"Hayden…I've never—I?—"

"I know."

"Please, Hayden. I just want to go home now. The war is over, isn't it?"

He nods, his jaw flexing like he's about to ruin me in ways that he craves.

He knows he has no reason now to keep me here. The war is over. The rebellious king of the south is dead. No one wants to break the law by killing me anymore because it'll result in them being imprisoned for eternity or burned in the inferno. Hayden exemplified the Southern Vampires at the concert festival by putting their heads on spikes. Now? He killed a King. I'm still new to this whole vampire world, but I think if anyone tries to challenge the Dragos or the law, they'll think twice.

"It's over. Let me go home. I won't tell anyone about your existence. I can forget about all of this. You can move on. I can move on," I plead with him, desperately in a high-pitched request. I do everything I can to keep my voice from shaking, but it's not enough to mask the pain in every syllable.

He smiles. And for a second there, I think he's going to agree with me. But then his eyes flash to crimson, and the darkness in his soul comes alive.

"There is no moving on for me or for you . Don't you get it? You're the only light in my life. You think I'm going to let you go?" he growls low and sultry.

Another tear falls out of my eye.

"It's the right thing to do. Let me go home," I mutter.

"Why would you want to go back there? What home ?" he spits out with amusement. "Why would you want to return to a place where you're always hurting? Where you're never seen? Where you aren't loved the way you should be?" He leans forward, kisses my cheek, and brushes his bloody knuckles against my face, leaving streaks of black.

His question blindsides me. I stiffen and ache all over. The truth gets slapped into my face.

I glance away from him and instead close my eyes as I whisper in a broken tone, "It's all I've ever known. Pain and isolation are my home . I'm used to it."

Years and years of everything going wrong, watching my mother in an abusive relationship and always wondering where my father was, did something to me. It molded me into someone who's addicted to pain and fear because it's all I've ever known how to live with.

Maybe that's why I understand you, Hayden. Perhaps that's why I like you.

He smiles, but it's cold and more rigid than steel.

"You leave me, Millie…and I will burn my own damn kingdom to the ground. You deny me, and I will make everyone around you hurt for it. I will never stop. I have fallen in love with you. Don't run from me…don't run from us ."

My heart drops and shatters.

"What do you mean?" I breathe out, my tongue trembling.

"You know exactly what I mean." His sinister threat sends every hair on my body to stand.

He's going to hurt everyone I love if I try to escape? If I try to leave him?

He's not giving me a choice to leave ?

"I thought it was against the law in your world to marry a Valkyrie."

"I'm a prince. The Depraved Prince. No one dares to fuck with me. And I will be king soon."

I shift uncomfortably.

"Do you want something happening to your dad? To your mother… to Nash ? Don't make me breathe that little co-worker of yours's name." He trembles with wrath and possessiveness. Even when he's in his vampire mode, he's still hypnotizingly beautiful. "I'll kill anyone who tries to take you from me. I don't care who they are. I think I've proved that to you since the night we met."

I freeze at his vicious words. When he mentions Cole, it's like venom taints the air, making it hard to breathe. It's like just the thought of Cole makes him want to lose his shit.

With watery eyes and a strangled whisper, I force my words to spill out. "You're insane."

He smirks devilishly at my insult.

"That's the point."

Is this what he's come to? The man who saved me from meeting my demise multiple times just to keep me chained to his world selfishly like a prisoner? Is staying here in this Cathedral to keep my parents, my brothers, and my mother alive… my only option ?

What do I say?

He's threatening to kill the ones I love if I don't choose him.

I care for him. I do. But this is depravity and immoral.

"If you try to leave me again, I will drag you back here and make sure to hold you tighter than before," he promises me darkly and cruelly. Another shiver kisses every organ inside me like electrocution.

He caresses my palm with his hand, soft, heavenly, and warm. His touch is the complete opposite of his dark soul and malice promises.

"You could have anyone else, Hayden. Anyone . You need to be with another vampire to match your ways of living. I can't be what you need. I don't want to be a vampire. I don't want to live forever."

" You want me though , don't you?" He places his palm on my chest and smiles dashingly. "Your heart skips a beat every time I touch you. I can hear it . Your brown eyes shine brighter whenever you look at me. I can see it . You already confessed that I've altered your soul. I can feel it .," he tells me in a rough, deep, lustrous murmur.

He's right. But this is all so wrong. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't change that he's a monster; his actions tell me he's far more scary than the devil.

I can't speak anymore. I don't think he will listen to reasoning tonight… or ever . I can't deny that I'm attracted to him. But I still want a life of freedom. I want to go back to my life before I met him.

He removes his hand from my chest and carries me to his bed. He lays me down gently and hovers over me, careful not to crush me with his body weight. He settles in between my legs, and I'm tempted to push him away, but I refuse. I don't want to piss him off. And another part of me is addicted to the thrill he inflicts. My body yells the truth when my words deceive me.

"I promise you...you will have everything you could ever want or need. I have all the money and resources in the world to spoil you with. Do you want to go to the moon? It's done. You want me to buy hundreds of houses and the rarest of diamonds for you to wear? Consider it bought. Do you want me to be faithful to you until the end of time? I'll be hopelessly devoted to you, Millie Flores." His hair falls across his face, and I'm tempted to push it away. He's going to get what he wants like he always does.

"Say something," he pleads with wide, curious eyes, looking vehemently from my own, searching vigorously for a response. He cups my face, brushing his thumb in small circles on my cheek.

I'm still as my mind runs in about ten different directions.

It's the people pleaser in me.

I don't care that I'm hurting. I don't care that people beat me down until I can't feel anymore. I don't care if they just take and take from me. I just want them to be happy, even if they cause me pain. I refuse to let this dark world take the light from me. I don't want to become the monster they want me to be. I don't want to match their darkness.

I don't want to break. I won't let anyone break me.

I need to make sure everyone is okay…even if that means I drown.

"Do you want me to burn the world and everyone you love in it, Millie?"

I shake my head.

"Good girl," he breathes against my neck as he presses his mouth on the side of my neck. I feel the sharpness of his fangs. I'm already preparing for him to feed from me.

"Do you understand that there's nothing in this world that will stop me from having you? Not even yourself?" Dark adoration laces his hungry tone.

I nod.

"So then tell me, baby. What do you want?" He dares me as if I have a choice. "The war may be over, but that doesn't mean that's your sanctuary. I am ." He growls, and his teeth slice me open without him having to bite and suck. They barely grazed my neck when I felt the pain strike, and a warm trickle of red rolls down my neck. I groan and tense underneath him while he unleashes a beastly growl from his throat. He hums sadistically as he watches me bleed. "I've always been your sanctuary… and you are mine ."

He pulls back, his injuries and bruises already disappearing like they were never there in the first place.

I swallow as the demons in his blue eyes dance in devotion, consuming me.

"I do want you. I want you so much…but it makes me feel crazy. I can tell you what I don't want, and that's your money. I don't want it or care for it. And I also crave a life without vampires, Hayden. Let me go," I croak out through my tightening throat.

A minute ago, Hayden and I almost died. Now, he wants me to surrender more than he's already taken?

He stiffens, going rigid at my request, but then his fangs reappear like a threat, and it sends shivers down my spine. My heart thunders, and I want to melt yet run away. How can those two emotions and responses mesh together and co-exist?

"I can't do that. I can't lose you." He pulls back as he shifts into something horrifying. "Centuries on this planet, and no one, not one fucking soul, holds a candle to what you do to me!" He snarls as my denial suffocates him—a vein bulges in his neck, and my curiosity about his kind piques.

"You are rare, Millie. And I'm not talking about your blood. You carry something inside you that makes me forget about the dark demons that plague my numb, soulless mind when I'm around you… please ."

I gasp.

He said it. He really said the word, please.

"I'm begging you, baby. Please …don't run from us. Or I'll turn into something far worse." Another ultimatum to get me to bow down.

Worse ? Can he do worse things?

I inhale sharply as if I got hit in the stomach. My heart skips a beat, and despite what has happened, I know what type of darkness he's talking about.

Demons that crawl into your mind without your permission. Demons that kill you on the inside and destroy you one day at a time. I know that darkness. It's the type of darkness I fight every single day.

I like him. I really, really , like him, yet I'm so angry with him.

The good that I try to keep within me prevails in this moment. I want to take his pain away. I want to make him feel seen. Maybe I'm the only one in his life who sees past his depravity and dives deep into the origin of his story. We all have a story, and I need his to change.

"Please," he begs again, his whole body intensifying as he awaits my answer. "Give yourself to me!"

Dammit Hayden.

I've already given you my heart the night we met. I just didn't know it yet.

"Yes… let's fight our dark demons together," I concede as heat implodes my veins, and I give into our game.

I look at him with wide eyes as a tear falls out and rolls down the side of my face until it's in my hair. I reposition myself underneath him. I open my legs and welcome his already hardened, thick, and massive cock that pokes through his clothes.

A victorious smile paints his handsome features. His sharp canines glisten, and he unleashes that animalistic growl right before he sinks his teeth into me. I wiggle and cringe as he sucks at my neck. Pain with euphoric unreal pleasure erupts like the fourth of July throughout my body and mind.

It's like damn morphine every time he bites me. His bite is an addictive drug. He pulls my entire body off the bed with one arm, lifting me into him greedily, like he wants to tear my throat out and devour me completely.

"Do you realize the amount of strength I have to have not to rip you apart until all of your blood is inside me? You're fucking divine, Millie…and all mine."

My clit throbs, my pussy aches to be filled, and he presses his cock onto my pussy over our clothes. Dry humping each other as he sucks the blood out of me.

I yank his soft, thick hair strands, eliciting a vampiric growl. He gets off my neck and goes to my chest. He bites my breast, and I moan out. He returns to my neck, but this time, he goes to the other side.

His sharp teeth cut into me, and I pull on his hair, pressing his face more into my neck as if that'll stop the pain. I'm trembling and shaking, and my heart is hammering painfully because I want him inside me.

Suddenly, blackness clouds the corners of my eyes, but the morphine-like pleasure that makes me lust for him continues. It's as if every time he bites me, lust fills me like a curse, making me crave to get bitten, overpowering.

I start to see stars, and my hand falls from his hair as my muscles become mush.

"Hayden...I think...I think I'm going to pass out," I softly murmur as I grow cold and weak. He's never taken this much blood from me.

"Fuck, baby. I can't stop. Tell me to stop. Tell me to fucking stop," he growls weakly through his sucking.

I gather and muster all my strength and push at his chest with my palms. He's strong, rigid, and his cock is harder than concrete as he rubs himself on my pussy.

Everything feels so damn good, but I know if he doesn't stop draining me, I'll die.

"Stop! Hayden, stop!" I grit out my plea, and to my surprise, he listens just in time before my vision goes black.

He restrains himself. He grants me space but still hovers over my body as my blood drips from his mouth. He clenches his jaw repeatedly, with guilt evident in his eyes.

He's panting hard as his tongue grazes his lips, licking my blood off his mouth.

My senses come back, and I no longer feel lightheaded.

He reaches for the top of his shirt and begins to unbutton it. I watch his every move, enchanted, mesmerized by his beauty, and yet scared of what's to come next.

He's midway, and I'm staring at his muscled chest with heavy breaths. I cover my breasts with my forearms as the reality starts to sink in.

"Are you going to make love to me?" I whisper shyly.

He chuckles deep and mouthwatering.

"I'm going to fuck you, baby." He finishes undressing himself and goes straight for my clothes. His vampire powers kick in, and in a split second, my panties are ripped to shreds, and I'm completely exposed to him.

His eyes gleam with adoration as his gaze rifts up and down my breasts and naked pussy like I'm the most perfect dream he's come to know. He shifts in between my legs again, caging me into his body, and I feel him at my entrance.

My chest heaves at the unknown sensation.

"Once I fuck you, and I will fuck you… you're mine . If any man tries to touch you, I will hurt him. If anyone tries to kiss you, I will kill them. I won't even blink twice about killing for you. You're my property that no one gets to look at as long as you're with me. Do you understand?"

I nod.

"I need to hear you say yes. Or I'll stop. I'll stop this right now. I'll become a ghost, so you'll never see me again."

I contemplate. I'm actually thinking of saying no, but I'm trapped in the chains he has around my heart. I feel seen, heard, and craved.

"Yes."

I want him. I want him now. I want this.

He kisses my lips gently right before he positions the head of his dick at my entrance, teasing me. He slicks the tip of his dick up and down through my slit, circling my throbbing and needy clit with calculated motions. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip to prevent myself from moaning. I'm about to lose myself already, and he hasn't started. I tilt my head to the side and arch my back, still watching his intimidating, starving gaze.

"You make me feel alive. If this is what it's like, you'll never be free of me." He thrusts into me, and I scream from the unfamiliar intrusion I've never felt before. His girth stretches me in a way I know I won't recover quickly.

It. Fucking. Hurts .

My eyes widen, and I moan out a sharp scream.

"Oh, God, Hayden. Hayden! It hurts… it hurts !" I hold him tighter, but I don't want him to stop. God, please don't ever stop .

He kisses the tears running down my cheeks, making me forget the pain for a second.

He continues to move in and out slowly, breaking into me, dissolving my virginity, and I close my eyes tightly shut as I let my doubts go. I turn my head to the side as pain floods everywhere. He makes me feel too full. So damn full down there. I feel like I'm being torn and reborn at the same time.

"You're too big," I whimper.

"The pain will go away soon, Millie," he promises me as he continues to thrust slowly and passionately like he's savoring every second of being inside. He glances at his cock rocking into me and smirks that same sinful one that makes me melt. I dare to take a peek, and there's blood coating his veiny perfect cock. I feel like I'm on drugs. I feel like this is a dream. He's my bad dream I don't want to wake up from. Hayden is my monster, and tonight I accepted it.

Our harsh moans fit perfectly like a symphony that filters the silence in his room. I can't help the sounds that are coming out of my mouth. I watch my sinfully handsome vampire captor fuck me with perspiration leaking down his chest. He's losing himself inside me like I'm his haven. I don't ever want him to stop pumping, touching, and loving me like this.

I'm giving into this sick game of his and he's winning .

I claw at his shoulders, and he roars with satisfaction. He buries his face in my neck but restrains himself from biting. Instead, he licks at my neck, cleaning up whatever blood that lingers from earlier.

"Tell me you're mine," he commands.

Thrust .

"I'm yours."

"Tell me you crave me."

Thrust .

"I crave you." His cock starts to feel heavenly, and the pain is long gone. As I register his words, the headboard kicks into the wall with loud bangs.

"Tell me you love me."

I'm breathless as he picks up his strength and speed, pounding into me angrily and crazy.

"Ah!" I scream as pleasure rocks me violently. My eyes spring open from how drastically everything has changed. Before, it was slow and calculated. Now? His movements are messy and powerful. The muscles in his triceps tighten, and he tears open a pillow beside my head when I don't respond. The sound of fabric being torn open and holes drilled into the wall from the headboard ring into my ear.

"Tell me you love me!" He growls impatiently as he claws the headboard and crushes it in his grasp. The wood cracks and pieces of it fall onto the side of us.

"I love you! I love you, Hayden. I love you…" I moan out, and a sharp scream from my throat follows as pure bliss explodes; my entire body trembles and I'm in a dark paradise. Shutting my eyes, my climax possesses my body, nirvana inking my veins, and my pussy clenches down on his cock as I orgasm. Oh my God, he feels so damn good.

The thrill he inflicts upon my body is addicting, and I already want more. Hayden's eyes transform from blue into those crimson, vibrant, vampiric red eyes. They glow, and the obsidian in his eyes dilate.

"Fuck. Millie. Fuck!" Hayden powerfully thrusts into me faster as he grips my hips tight with his free hand, so hard bruises will form. "I'm greedy…so fucking greedy for you," he whispers into my neck as he comes undone, and his thrusts slow down, but they're deep and full of passion as he fills me with his cum.

"I'm sorry, Millie. You're mine now…and for that, I am sorry. " He sincerely apologizes as I ride the blissful surges.

It's like he knows what he is , and what he's doing to keep me isn't right. He knows he isn't being fair or reasonable. He knows I'm trapped but doesn't want to lose me. The lengths he will go to to have me with him are fucked up, and he's apologizing for it.

He cups my ass still, his fingers digging into my skin with no remorse as he still relishes being inside me. He doesn't want to pull out.

Our breaths are fast and deep, and I reach for his face, brushing my fingers through his hair. Hayden closes his eyes and tilts his head towards my fingers. He looks different. There's solace, a glimpse of a good man I know he is. I feel satisfied.

I groan, and I already feel the aftermath on my strained muscles.

"Are the demons gone?" I whisper with a shaky voice.

"Only when I'm inside you," he rasps and falls over closer. He kisses me, and I return the mutual passion. He cuts my lips open with his fangs, forcing the blood from my lips to join our dancing tongues. I like this side of Hayden. I love his gentle promises and caresses. The demons in his head and soul need to be silenced, even if it's at the expense of my freedom.

The demons are gone. My family is safe. The Southern Vampire King is dead.

Everything will be okay .

Everything will fall into place .

And I will find a way out of this.

He rests on his elbows and brushes his thumb against my cut lip. Red stains his thumb, and he licks it. He hums deeply and is animalistic. His cock grows harder while he's still inside me.

"As much as I want to fuck you all night, you need rest to recover. I took too much blood from you." He kisses my forehead, gets out of me, and pulls me onto his chest. I lie on top of him as he pulls the blankets over us.

He's cold and rigid, but I'm too exhausted to move. I'm tired, drained, and depleted. And yet, the man I fear is still the only person that makes me feel loved, safe, and at peace. He makes it easy to fall asleep. I blink uneasily as I remember how King Davenport almost took Hayden from me. I shudder against his cold muscles. My fingers lurch against the veins that run along the perfect V of his lower body.

"I'm not going anywhere tonight. Go to sleep, baby girl. I'll see you next moon." He knows what I'm feeling… always .

"I'll see you next moon," I repeat as I close my eyes for the night.