24. Zylpha

24

ZYLPHA

I scoop Kaelox into my arms, feeling his small body tremble against me. His face presses into my neck, hot tears wetting my skin. My heart breaks for him, for us all.

After Volezimir promised we were done fighting, he looked up at me and hiccuped out the most pitiful 'Mama.'

"Shh, it's okay," I murmur, rubbing his back as I carry him upstairs. "Mama's here."

Kaelox hiccups, his breath hitching. "Why... why are you yelling?"

I swallow hard, fighting back my own tears. "Sometimes grown-ups get upset and say things they don't mean. But you dad loves us very much. He didn't mean to upset you."

In his room, I settle into the rocking chair, cradling Kaelox close. His mismatched eyes, so like his father's and mine, blink up at me sleepily. The magical outburst has drained him.

"Will you sing the star song?" he asks, his voice small.

I nod, forcing a smile as I begin the lullaby I've sung since his birth. As I rock and sing, Kaelox's eyes grow heavy. Soon, his breathing evens out in sleep.

Gently, I tuck him into bed, brushing a kiss on his forehead. Then I retreat to my chambers, the ones I never wanted to use. Now, they feel like a sanctuary and a prison all at once.

I pace the room, my mind replaying Volezimir's angry words, the hurt and betrayal in his eyes. How could he think, even for a moment, that I would betray him? After everything we've been through?

Tears spill down my cheeks as I sink onto the bed. The mattress feels too soft, too unfamiliar. I long for Volezimir's arms around me, but the memory of his accusation stings fresh.

"I love you," I whisper to the empty room. "Why couldn't you trust me?"

The hurt runs deep, a chasm opening in my chest. I curl into myself, letting the tears flow freely now. All the fears and insecurities I've pushed down since coming to this demon world rise to the surface. I feel so alone, so out of place.

I sit by the window, my fingers tracing idle patterns on the cool glass. Outside, Galmoleth's landscape shifts and churns, a living tapestry of shadow and flame. It's beautiful in its otherworldliness, but tonight it only serves to remind me how far I am from everything I once knew.

My chest aches as I replay the argument with Volezimir. The hurt in his eyes, the thunder in his voice - it's all seared into my memory. How quickly our happiness crumbled, like sand slipping through my fingers.

I love him. Gods, I love him more than I ever thought possible. I've known for so long, and yet I've never said those words to him. It's just never felt right as we were trying to settle into this new life.

But in moments like these, the chasm between us feels impossibly wide. He's a demon, one who has the favor of the royals. And I'm... what? A human woman, once a slave, now thrust into a realm I barely understand.

My fingers clench against the windowsill. We've overcome so much already. The years apart, the dangers we faced, the joy of finding each other again. But this... this feels different. It's not an external threat we can fight together. It's the very core of who we are, clashing like storm clouds.

Can love truly conquer all? Or are there some differences too vast to bridge? I think of Kaelox, our beautiful boy with his mismatched eyes. He's the living embodiment of our two worlds colliding. But will he grow up torn between them, never fully belonging to either?

A tear slips down my cheek, and I angrily wipe it away. I'm stronger than this. I survived years of captivity, raised a child in secret, never losing hope. But now, in this opulent room that should feel like home, I've never felt more lost.

I press my forehead against the cool glass, closing my eyes. The memory of Volezimir's touch, his gentle kisses, the way he looks at me like I'm the most precious thing in all the realms - it wars with the anger and hurt from earlier. How can someone who loves me so deeply not trust me?

I curl up on the window seat, hugging my knees to my chest as Azrathel's venomous words slither through my mind. But will he turn his on you?

He knew just where to hurt, where to strike. Volezimir is afraid of losing me and Kaelox again. I know that. He's been on edge with anyone who takes an interest in me, and this fear of seeing me alone with someone he clearly doesn't trust…I understand the fear.

I just can understand the anger that got directed at me.

My eyes drift to the alien landscape outside, all jagged spires and swirling shadows. It's beautiful in its way, but so foreign. So dangerous. Every corner of this place seems to whisper that I don't belong.

I close my eyes, remembering the lush greens of Aurelius, the sound of waves lapping at the shore. There, Kaelox could run free without fear of judgment or harm. He could grow up among humans and rescued creatures, learning compassion instead of the cutthroat politics of demon society.

My heart aches as I imagine a simple life there. Kaelox playing on the beach, his laughter carried by the sea breeze. Me, tending our garden, my hands in the rich earth instead of constantly reaching for a weapon. No more sidelong glances or whispered insults. No more feeling like I have to prove my worth every second of every day.

But Volezimir...

My throat tightens. He asked me to come here. I know that being on Protheka was hard for both of us, but it might be better than this. Maybe if I just talk to him…

Yet his anger, his distrust - it burns like acid in my chest. How can we build a life together if he doesn't believe in me?

Tears slip down my cheeks as the weight of my choices presses down on me. Stay and face constant danger, or leave and tear our family apart. There's no easy answer, no clear path forward.

I press my forehead against the cool glass, feeling utterly lost. For the first time since our reunion, I wonder if love really is enough to overcome the vast differences between Volezimir's world and mine.

As the first rays of dawn filter through the window, I rise from my restless vigil. My body aches from the hours spent curled up on the window seat, but the physical discomfort pales in comparison to the emotional turmoil churning within me.

I love Volezimir. The depth of my feelings for him still takes my breath away sometimes. He's my protector, my partner, the father of my child. But as I think of Kaelox, his tiny face scrunched up in distress during our argument, I feel a resolve solidifying in my chest.

My son's safety and well-being must come first. Always.

I begin to pace the room, my mind racing. We need to leave Galmoleth, at least for a while. The constant undercurrent of danger, the sideways glances, the whispers - it's no environment for a child to grow up in. Especially not one as special as Kaelox.

But how do I broach this with Volezimir? I hope that he will want to go with us, but with the way he acted…and he never came to find me. I don't know where his head is at.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself. This isn't about me, or even about Volezimir. It's about Kaelox. Our beautiful, innocent boy who deserves a childhood free from fear and judgment.

I stand, my decision made. I'll approach Volezimir soon, lay out my concerns and my suggestion. It won't be easy, but we've faced worse together. If he loves us - and I think he does - he'll understand. He has to.