Chapter 16

16

T his had turned into a problem. The woman he was keeping had wriggled her way underneath his skin, and now he wasn't sure what to do with her.

Envy had a very strict set of rules for anyone and everyone that was in his life. Especially mortals like her. It was easy to keep them at arm's length. He didn't have to entertain their needs or desires. He didn't have to entertain them at all. They were good to scratch an itch, both physical and mental in his need to kill them, or steal their powers.

But he was finding softer emotions the more he was around her. And that was unnerving.

The longer she was here, the more he spoke with her and spent time with her, the less he wanted to hurt her. He even had the thought that he might not take her power from her after all. Perhaps he would leave her alive, in his care.

He'd told her that was how he would keep her, but he had never meant it as the truth. Envy did not treat mortals like queens. None of them deserved it.

He firmly believed that they were all put here in this kingdom for him to feed off of. He didn't understand any of his brothers who gave their humans free rein in their kingdoms when he had seen what they could do if they were let loose. Humans were disgusting. They treated each other like the value of their lives were less than worthless.

As far as he knew, he'd made it so he was the only dangerous creature in this kingdom. After walking with her through the streets of his home, now he questioned that.

He'd never questioned any of his choices in his life.

This was difficult. He didn't like it.

So he retreated to his office, with the taste of her seared onto his tongue, like she'd branded him. He would never forget the little sounds she made in the back of her throat. How innocent she had seemed at his touch, and how much that had set him on fire.

Sitting down hard at his desk, he pulled at his bottom lip. Trying and failing to get control of himself.

What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't sit here and wait for her to feel better. She wouldn't. Her old master—his lip curled at the thought of calling the other man that—had made it almost impossible for Envy to take care of her.

She had to die. He had to take her power so that it couldn't be transferred to another and escape his grasp again. But she had made it seem like that would be even harder than he had guessed.

Sighing, he looked at his desk and the particular crystal on it that would allow him to speak with his brothers. Three of them had already fallen into a similar trap.

Lust, Greed, and Gluttony. All his brothers that he had admired so much and now they were... fallen. Changed. Different because they had found someone softer than themselves.

The four of them that remained had to realize that there was something going on. Even Envy could feel it. The tides were shifting in their world, and the realms were mending themselves into a different story and path.

It was unnerving. After a thousand years of living without change, he did not know how to feel about this.

Blowing out a long breath, he finally gave into temptation and reached out for the crystal. He knew he couldn't call any of the three who had already found themselves deep in the throes of romance. Even Gluttony would tell him to grab onto this opportunity and never let go. He hated the thought of that being the answer.

Keeping her was just as terrifying as losing her.

But Sloth would understand. That particular brother went through women like candy. Rumor was that he had a whole harem of them, just waiting for him to do what he pleased.

Sloth knew what it was to live the life of a bachelor, and he was the brother to get Envy's head back on straight.

He murmured the summoning words and then leaned back in his chair to wait. Sloth rarely was one to answer quickly, but that was also part of his affliction. They all had their failings, and Sloth's was easy to tell.

The man was more than just lazy. He luxuriated in doing nothing for days on end. He meditated. He dreamed. He hoarded beautiful woman all to pile them upon himself while he stared into other realms and breathed in the smoke of his hookas.

The man was a menace, in other words, but he had his moments.

It took half the day for Sloth to answer Envy's call, and when he did, it wasn't in the wispy form of someone who answered the call of the crystal. No. His brother tugged at the connection he had with all of them. He wanted to come here. He wanted to actually stand in front of Envy and see him.

So Envy called a portal and allowed Sloth to step into his office.

It was hard to look at his brother in lights like this. Sloth's kingdom was so awash with sun that it actually bleached out what a person could see. But here, Sloth's shoulders and arms were dusted with glimmering gold scales, his slitted dragon eyes a little uncomfortable to stare into. But it was the burning light in his chest that was always so captivating for everyone who looked at him.

Not that it was always lit. Sloth only wore that fire breathing chest when he was angry.

Apparently, Envy had angered him.

"You summon me?" Sloth hissed, his tongue flicking out of his mouth like a snake. "You realize that I have a kingdom to run?"

"I was unaware you were interested in running a kingdom. Your form of leadership is usually to suggest that they smoke more." Envy leaned back in his chair, tilting the legs back until he was balancing on two of them. "Besides, I have need of your thoughts."

"My thoughts are better suited to the dreaming realm."

"Yes, sometimes. But not this time." Envy gestured toward the other chair. "I have whiskey, if you'd like some."

"Your whiskey is usually lacking. But if you're offering something to help get me through this conversation, then I will gladly drink it." Sloth slumped down in the seat, slouched and taking up far too much room with his massive body. "So what is it?"

"I'm having trouble with a woman."

"I didn't know you were interested in women," Sloth grumbled as he reached for the glass Envy poured and then offered.

"I fear I'm having troubles with this woman in the same way that our other three brothers have been having trouble with women."

Sloth froze at that. His yellow eyed gaze locked on Envy's face, and his nostrils flared as though he was sniffing the air for a lie. There was no lie, though.

Even Envy hated to admit it. It made him nervous, and nothing made him nervous.

Except her.

She certainly did.

A low grunt from Sloth was the first reaction. Then he swore his brother groaned as he sat back and clutched the whiskey like a lifeline. "Tell me why you think this is similar to their connection."

That was all he said. Not that he was surprised, or that he was even questioning it. Only that he wanted to know why Envy thought this way.

"I'm not sure," Envy replied. "I had a plan for her. An oracle, just like I've always been searching for. She has the one power that has eluded me all these years, and yet I am very hesitant to kill her. I don't want to harm her at all, if I'm being honest. Every time I'm around her, I want to listen to what she has to say. I want to hear her concerns and I want to make her life more... comfortable. These feelings are only growing the longer I'm around her."

Envy knew Sloth very well. They had grown up together, and though he never thought he would understand the other man, they had a good companionship. Together, they had built kingdoms that differed greatly from the other kingdoms. They had always been understanding of each other's challenges and that was something he honored.

But he'd never seen Sloth react like this. His brother paled to as white as snow, a hard thing to do for a man who lived every day in the sun. The whiskey sloshed in the glass he gripped so tightly it was starting to creak. His brother was clearly horrified by what Envy had said.

"So many of us are falling to this," Sloth murmured. "I cannot help but feel as though it is my fault."

"Your fault?" Envy scoffed. "You've stayed in your castle this whole time, brother. I don't think you need to take this guilt on yourself."

"But I do."

Narrowing his eyes, Envy tried to see this as his brother was seeing it, but there was no way to understand what Sloth was saying. "Why is this your fault?"

Sloth took a deep, steadying breath and wrapped his hands around the whiskey glass he had yet to drink from. "You think you are changing because of this woman, yes?"

"I don't think anything could change me."

"But it changed our other brothers. Whatever power or curse that has been cast upon all of us, it changed them into different spirits. They looked at a woman and fell in love. We were never able to do that before, and yet, suddenly, all of us are falling. Tumbling like towers tilting over and striking the next."

That troubled expression only grew more worrisome. Envy swallowed hard. "What are you saying, Sloth?"

"I'm saying that perhaps this is inevitable. That after all this time, we are being punished for what we have done. Or rewarded for what we have succeeded in doing. Depending on…" Then he did drink. Sloth slugged back the entire glass of whiskey like it wasn't vintage stuff meant to be savored slowly. "I should congratulate you, brother. You have done something right in your life for a woman to look at you and see anything other than a monster."

"I take offense to that."

"We all know what we are. Monsters, just like Gluttony always claimed. The others don't like to admit it, and that's fine. If they want to live in a world of their own imagining, they are allowed to do so. But we are not kind. We are not good. We are the demons they claim us to be."

Envy pinched his nose and tried to remain calm. "How much have you smoked today? You are very dismal, brother. I called you here to remind me that I do not need to take this woman for myself. And that I should kill her and take her magic."

There was a lull in the conversation. Envy refused to look at his brother because he had a feeling he wouldn't like what he saw. Sloth wasn't staggering. His eyes were still slits, not blown out into something that resembled a pupil. Sloth was entirely in his right mind and even Envy knew that. But it was easier to believe his brother was drugged than for him to say what he was saying.

And yet, eventually, Envy looked up.

Sloth was staring at him, that glass hanging from his fingers and his elbows braced on his knees. There was a sadness in that gaze. A self hatred that burned his brother hotter than any fire ever would.

"We all have our secrets," Sloth finally said. "I have mine I am unwilling to share. But I will tell you this now, Envy. Take what you've been offered. Some of us are tormented by the choices we made, and others are offered a reckoning to amend what we have broken. You have killed and maimed and stolen your entire life."

"It is who Envy is meant to be," he replied, arguing his own case as though that somehow made it better.

"And yet, what fortune it is to be gifted a woman you do not have to take from. You could convince her to stay. Better yet, you could offer her a life filled with understanding and happiness unlike you or I were ever given."

These were strange words. Strange thoughts. Almost as though this was not his brother at all.

Envy narrowed his gaze. "This isn't like you to suggest such a thing."

"It goes against everything we are, doesn't it?" Sloth shook the empty glass, then stood to place it back on Envy's desk. "I cannot make amends for what I did, my brother. I have brought this all down upon our ears and I will be the one who suffers the most. But you have been given a gift. I would advise you to take it."

"I have no interest in this gift."

"Look at those who remain." Sloth opened his arms wide and gestured down to his bare chest and the golden loincloth that covered him. "Do you wish to be like me, Pride, and Wrath? Or do you wish to be like the other three?"

Sloth loped back toward the still open portal and disappeared. But he left Envy with more questions than not.

Did he want to be like Sloth and the other two? Not really. Sloth was deeply unhappy. Both Pride and Wrath were powerful, but they stayed in their own kingdoms and dealt with their own issues. Neither of them were brothers to look up to, or aspire to be. They were, he supposed, as equally unhappy as Sloth now was.

But the other three? Lust was so happy he was uncomfortable to be around. Greed was rarely seen now because he was often buried in his bride's thighs. The two of them were inseparable. If they weren't fucking, they were fighting.

And Gluttony...

Envy had visited him not too long ago. They were blissfully content wrapped in each other, with no one else to bother them. They'd holed up in that crumbling, gothic castle and made it a home.

He wasn't sure why the last one bothered him more than the other two. But seeing Gluttony have a home, someone who accepted him no matter what he did. It stirred Envy's heart.

He poured himself another glass of whiskey and shook his head. That wouldn't be him. He'd rather stay just the way he was because that was so much less terrifying than knowing what "happy" actually meant.