Chapter 32

ChapterThirty-Two

She’d fallen asleep in his arms again. Not because he’d wrung out another orgasm that rocked her world, but because he’d been sweet and comforting and she’d sought him out. What a change in such a short amount of time.

Selene had gone to him when he reached for her. She’d allowed him to undress her, his hands gentle as he ran his hands down her sides and soothed any knotted muscles. But, just when she thought he’d want to take things to the next level—and hopefully actually finish the job this time—he hadn’t. He’d braided her hair and then pulled her toward the bed.

He’d cuddled with her. Lust. The demon king she’d been raised to fear more than anyone else in any of the seven kingdoms had wrapped her in his arms and cradled her until she fell asleep.

And she’d liked it.

She thought about all this as she stared up at the ceiling, knowing he wasn’t yet awake. She was in too deep. Her family had sent her here for a reason and warned her against all the things that she’d done. They told her he’d try to get into her head. They’d warned her that he would resort to trickery.

Selene knew all this and more. She’d researched him her entire life and now she knew more about him than any other person, and yet, she had still fallen for this. He’d lulled her into a false sense of security.

If she didn’t get herself back, then she feared what would happen.

Lust shifted with a sigh on his lips as he turned toward her. Even in groggy sleep, he was careful with his horns, so they didn’t catch her face when he moved. His muscular arm wrapped around her waist, tugging her closer into him until he was wrapped around her side.

Was he still asleep? Did he seek her out even while he was dreaming?

Her heart squeezed in her chest. She couldn’t handle this. She couldn’t betray him when she was already so wild for him. What would she do if she had to disappoint him the way her mother wanted her to? Selene’s entire being rebelled against harming him. She couldn’t take away what he loved and cherished.

She couldn’t. And if she continued on this path, she would bend to whatever whims he whispered into her ear.

“Good morning,” he said, his voice rough with sleep. “You’re up early.”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Mm,” he tightened his hold on her. “Perhaps I can help with that.”

But as his hand slid down over her belly, fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake, she grabbed onto his wrist. Every muscle in her body screamed, why? If he wanted to explore, if he wanted to take care of this persistent problem that made her head spin, then let him. He was good at it. Lust could make her come within minutes of his fingers being where she desperately wanted him, so why would she try to stop him?

She knew why. Her mind knew that if she let him do this, then she would only fall deeper into his web and the longer she stayed in it, the harder it would be to get out.

“You don’t need to,” she whispered, still holding him still.

“I’d like to.”

“You must have a very busy day.”

He nuzzled her neck, his tongue flicking out to touch her skin. “Ah, but my day would start so much better if I had the sound of your moans ringing in my ears.”

No, she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t keep encouraging this sweet man or otherwise she’d spend the entire day in bed with him and then how would she ever leave?

Selene bolted. She wasn’t proud of how she flung his hand off and how she rolled out of bed like it was on fire.

He watched her with an amused expression. “What are you doing?”

She couldn’t breathe, therefore, she needed space between them. She stood at the foot of the bed and paced back and forth. Selene fanned her face, trying to make it feel less hot, but she couldn’t get that figured out. She couldn’t stop the heat from burning through her cheeks or the feeling that the air itself was pulling out of her lungs. She couldn’t... do this. Not this. Not now. And not with him.

Shaking her head, she pointed at him. “I don’t know what all of this is, but I don’t want to deal with it anymore.”

“What are you referring to?”

Selene gestured wildly between them. “Whatever scheme you have going on, with this, with us, it has to stop. Now. I won’t let this go any further than it already has.”

“Isn’t that the exact opposite of what you’ve been telling me since you got here?” He sat up and the sheets fell away to reveal that beautiful chest. “You’ve been arguing until you were blue that you wanted me to trust you. To develop something real between us. Why the sudden change?”

By the look in his eyes and the curious smile on his face, Selene saw he knew what was going on in her head. He knew she was running because she was frightened by her own feelings for him.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

What was she supposed to do now? She had to put space between them.

She had to do what her mother wanted, though. Space would only slow down what she had been sent here to do. And the longer she took, the more likely the others in the Tower would get involved. Them getting involved would complicate things even further.

But if she stayed true to what she was supposed to do, then she would lose her heart and mind in this castle that made her want things she’d never wanted in her life.

Oh, if her thoughts kept going round and round like this, then she was going to vomit. She might anyway, just to see his expression when she puked all over his expensive sheets.

“Selene?” he asked, a half smile on his lips. “What do you want? Not your mother, not me, not even that voice in your head. What do you want?”

She had to pull herself back together. He was controlling this situation and she couldn’t let him. No. She was better than this. She was a sorceress of the Tower and she’d trained her entire life to manipulate and control this exact situation.

Selene drew herself up and shoved all her emotions away. Strangely, it was the first time that she’d ever felt remiss without them. Why did her entire body feel hollow?

She smoothed any emotion from her face and folded her hands at her waist. “I would like my own room again. I think I have sufficiently proven that I’m not going anywhere and that your brother has no great interest in me other than curiosity. I’ve earned my space.”

He frowned. “You will stay here with me. I believe we both enjoy each other’s company enough to remain as we are. Even if you are suddenly uncomfortable with the circumstances for some unknown reason.”

“And I believe it is better to have space. We do not know each other well enough—”

Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say.

He surged out of the bed, all lean muscle and golden skin as he prowled toward her. She’d never seen his face so angry. Never seen his horns twist like that as they grew longer and stretched behind his head. “You think I do not know you?”

She’d rattled his cage. “I think you have an opinion of who I might be, but we have hardly given each other enough time to know each other.”

The feral grin on his face was not one of kindness. He moved like a lion, tracking her until her spine hit the wall. Lust braced himself on a forearm above her head and stared down at her with those all-knowing eyes. “Are you running, Selene?”

“I’m not even moving, Lust.”

“And yet, you think that having another bedroom will stop you from feeling what we’re both suffering from. Do you think I wish to have a weakness in the form of a mortal woman? Do you think I have not noticed how affected you are as well?”

That is what she was afraid of. And knowing that he’d noticed only made all of this worse.

She felt as though a wave was waiting right in front of her, ready to swallow her if she didn’t hold her breath and sink beneath it.

She shoved all of that anxiety and fear underneath the ice of her imagined lake. Eventually, she’d have to feel these. Eventually they might even overwhelm her because she had so many feelings buried deep. But hopefully, she would have enough time to be alone and suffer through it.

She tilted her chin up and told herself to be as icy as a snowstorm. “You think an awful lot of yourself if you truly believe I’ve told you anything important about myself.”

“And you are more foolish than I thought if you don’t believe I know you, little moon.” He traced the backs of his fingers against her cheek. “You seem to think that knowing a person requires you to want them. I have told you that I want you, and you have said the same to me. You have told me more about yourself than you wish, and I respect that. But make no mistake, Selene. You and I are bound together now. You need me just as much as I need you.”

She was afraid of that. But she tried not to show it in her gaze. Impassive. Cold. Smooth as glass, so he’d never know the riot of emotions she was steadily burying inside herself.

Finally, he sighed and shoved himself away from her and the wall. “Fine. If you want another room, you may have it. But if you believe a few extra walls will stop what is happening between the two of us, then you’re very wrong. This will only make you want me more.”

She snorted. “I think a little privacy will show me just how far I wish to be away from you.”

He grinned back at her. “Ah, little moon. Your innocence is refreshing. I am curious to see which one of us breaks first.” Lust pointed at her. “I believe it will be you.”

As if.

She was not a young woman anymore, nor had she been sequestered her entire life. Selene had read a thousand books on court politics and intrigue. She’d handled his people and his brother like a true queen. She would not break.

Sneering, she fumbled her hand on the wall as she searched for the door handle to leave this den of madness. “You know better than to challenge me, Lust.”

“It’s not a challenge. Only the truth.”

Selene grabbed the doorknob behind her and twisted it. She backed into the hallway without another thought before she realized she was standing in the hall wearing only her sheer nightgown. Alone. With no clothing to change into.

Hissing out an angry breath, she spun and crossed her arms over her chest. She couldn’t go back into his room. He’d laugh and assume that was her admitting her own fault, but that wasn’t at all what she was doing.

She was...

She was....

“Can I help you?” Lara’s voice cut through her thoughts, although the woman’s voice was at least a little kinder this time.

When Selene glanced up, she almost flinched at the sympathy in Lara’s eyes. “I’d like to find another room.”

Her words apparently only solidified the theory that Lara had made for herself. The maid’s sympathy grew even stronger as she set aside the broom in her hand and brushed her beautiful blonde hair off her shoulders. “Come on, then. No one touched your old room, and you’re more than welcome to stay there again.”

“I don’t—” Selene didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to correct the other woman. Selene hadn’t fallen out of Lust’s favor. She’d just... well. Hadn’t she fallen out of his favor? She’d stepped in it this time and she didn’t know how to fix it.

Sighing, she ducked her head and let the other woman lead her through the hall.

The last person she’d wanted to see was Lara. The maid was a favorite of Lust’s, and it felt strange to speak to another woman who had shared his bed. But was it really all that strange? After all, everyone in this castle had likely been in his bed at one point or another. Lara was just another woman who had been there, and she’d handled it like Selene was handling it now.

The awkwardness only deepened when Lara stopped in front of Selene’s old door and pulled out a small ring of keys. “He insisted we keep it locked. Some of your things are still in here, and he didn’t want anyone else getting ideas. Even though the dresses you brought were ugly.”

Selene had stiffened at the insult, but she was prepared to take it. Until Lara glanced over her shoulder and blushed.

“Sorry,” Lara muttered. “Ugly isn’t very nice. They aren’t clothes anyone else wears, and certainly not in the castle.”

The door swung open. The room beyond was clean and tidy, just as she’d left it. Strangely, Selene had been expecting dust even though she hadn’t been gone that long.

Pursing her lips, she shook her head and started into the room. “I’m going to have to get used to your style sooner rather than later, I suppose. I think I’ve been fighting against it.”

“You have.”

Of course she had. The castle and its inhabitants went against everything she believed in. She’d wanted nothing to do with any of them! And now their damned king had made it so that she couldn’t even think straight here.

“If I could be so bold?” Lara asked.

“What is it?”

“You’ve been here for months now. You know how to carry yourself like a noble, but there are many nobles here. You are strange because you can resist his powers, but there are plenty of strange people in the world.” Lara shrugged. “If you want to keep him, then might I suggest trying something different?”

“And if I don’t want to keep him?” Selene held the other woman’s gaze. “If I have no interest in him other than a means to an end?”

“We both know that’s a lie. I’ve seen the way you look at him. And the way he looks at you.” The last bit seemed almost hard for Lara to admit. “He’s different with you. I don’t understand it, but I don’t think it’s for me to understand.”

Some of her anger deflated at the admission. Sighing, she shook her head. “I don’t know what’s happening between us. But what would you suggest? If I wanted to keep him?”

The hardened expression on Lara’s face softened. “Love him. I know many people who have spent hours in his bed, myself included. We all talk. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone in his bed who wanted to be there just for him and not for what he could offer them. I don’t know if anyone’s ever loved him, to be honest. I’m not sure it’s even possible.”

It was. And she was so afraid it had already happened to her.

Selene swallowed hard. “That will be all.”

“Think about it.”

“I said that will be all, Lara.”

The maid bowed and closed the door behind her. Selene had no idea what to do now. Her heart twisted to know that he’d suffered, without even realizing why he was suffering. All he wanted was the same thing she wanted.

Someone to love him. To care for him and him alone. He wanted to matter to someone. Anyone. And here she was, running from being that person for him.

With those complicated thoughts on her mind, Selene turned and found a single white letter with a red ribbon waiting on her bed. The glittering silver wax seal was stamped with the shape of a single pale tower.