Chapter 31

ChapterThirty-One

Oh, this was all getting confusing and Lust knew very well that he couldn’t afford for it to be confusing. He stood in his great hall, taking off the layers of clothing he’d had to throw on as the night fell. Winter would be here soon, it seemed, and he looked forward to the colder months.

After all, what was a better time to tuck underneath the covers with a certain beautiful woman?

But then he remembered how his attention must be split between his people and her. No one had ever commanded his attention like this sorceress. Selene was a strange mixture of confidence in the settings that she was familiar with, and shyness as soon as she was taken out of her comfort zone.

He could almost see what was pressed into her mind by that fool of a mother. Minerva liked to keep her girls under her thumb in more ways than one. Selene believed that she was not worth showing off. That their people shouldn’t care to see her at all. A sorceress’s place was in the shadows and by them looking at her, she was certain they would judge her for whatever he’d asked her to do. As though they didn’t live their lives in the exact same way he did.

He enjoyed pulling her out of the shadows. He enjoyed watching her face as she let go of those preconceived notions that she wasn’t good enough. Selene feared she wasn’t the person that others wanted her to be, and he proved that thought wrong. It was thrilling to help someone’s confidence grow.

And yet, he’d had to let her return to the castle without him or he wouldn’t have gotten a single thing done.

Dangerous thoughts. He’d never let a woman run through his mind this much. He’d never been distracted by a pretty face or brown eyes or the lovely way her dark hair curled over her shoulder. It was so wrong and it was so right at the same time.

Sighing, he handed his cloak off to the closest servant and started for the stairs. He wanted to see her. And he knew she’d tucked herself away in their bedroom because that had already been more than enough time with people for his little Selene. She’d have to get used to being seen that much, he thought with a grin that he couldn’t stop from spreading over his face. He wanted to show her off a lot more than that.

“My lord!” A voice called out.

He paused and looked down the railing to see Lara standing in the middle of the great hall. The long tendrils of her skirts played in the pool behind her, and the pale fabric draped off her shoulders, nearly exposing her breasts to his eyes.

When he didn’t respond, she asked, “Do you have need of company tonight?”

“No,” he replied, then flashed her a bright grin. “I’ve already got company.”

A disappointed expression marred her pretty face, but he couldn’t find it in himself to feel guilty. He had another partner for the evening. One who was beautiful and thoughtful and all together too curious for him not to indulge.

Ah, maybe he should feel bad about making Lara feel left out. She’d been by his side for years now, and he should acknowledge that there was fear layered into her reaction. It wasn’t that she cared for him all that much. Of course, she cared for him in some way, mostly knowing that her family was safe if he was pleased with her. But she didn’t live her life for him. She lived it for her daughter.

Maybe he needed to take some time to settle her nerves. Lara needed some extra money or perhaps an extra job to make herself feel better. And that was something he could do.

But the idea of her in his bed again? It was not one he could entertain while Selene lived under his roof. Not when there was no comparison between the two.

Taking the stairs two at a time, he rushed down the hall toward their bedroom.

Their bedroom.

He’d always enjoyed his privacy and rarely did he take a lover in that room. The bedroom was a safe haven for him to hide away from prying eyes and expectations. Now? He was so pleased to know she waited for him behind that door.

Straightening his shoulders, he ran a hand down his chest and wondered if she’d help him remove the corset again. She’d liked that the first time, and he wondered if she’d been hiding her lust at that moment as well. He’d been so angry that he couldn’t taste her, but now he wondered if she was very good at hiding it.

How long had she been attracted to him? How long had she desired for him to be between her thighs?

Lust needed to ask her. He had to know the answer to these burning questions, or he feared he might explode.

Entering the room without knocking, he started talking the moment he stepped over the threshold. “Little moon, have you always found me attractive, or did it take time? I’ll admit, I like the idea of you bumping into me in that little town and then hiding away with those pretty fingers between your legs, but it doesn’t sound like you.”

The room was dark and quiet. He frowned, his furrowed brows certainly making him look less attractive as he surveyed the room. She had to be here. Where else would she be?

But there were no candles lit. No fire in the fireplace. No warmth in the room at all.

Strange. He swore he could sense her. Lust could feel her somewhere close by. If he tilted his head slightly and closed his eyes, he could sense the way the low simmer of lust echoed out of her body, as though she knew he was here and wondered what he would do to her.

Was she hiding? No, it didn’t feel like that.

Then a breeze toyed with the sheer curtain that led out onto his balcony and he knew where she was. His little sorceress apparently enjoyed her day outside, at least, and hadn’t been willing to let go of it just yet.

Sighing with pleasure, he brushed aside the curtain and found her.

She stood as though it wasn’t cold outside, her hands wrapped around the stone railing. The long, graceful line of her back was bared to his sight, until her dark violet gown obscured the rest of her. This dress was not meant to seduce, nor was it meant to be anything other than be serviceable. But the loose tangles of her hair, a riot of different shaped curls after she had unbraided them, blew in the breeze around her face. A full moon rose on the horizon, its silver light toying with the outline of her body. Warm, sparkling lights glowed from the town below them and then disappeared into darkness at the very edge of their kingdom. Lost into the nothingness beyond.

All the thoughts in his mind of throwing her onto the bed and devouring her suddenly disappeared. Not just lingering as they usually did, but they were entirely gone. He didn’t want to fuck her. He wanted to hold her. Snuggle her against his chest and feel her breath rise and fall as they both looked out over a kingdom they loved.

“Oh,” she startled, glancing over at him. “I didn’t hear you come in. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize.” He wouldn’t hear it. Not when he wanted to hear other words coming out of her mouth.

And though he’d thought tonight would be the night when he fed himself into her, inch by thick inch, now he wondered if he wanted to spend his time breathless for other reasons. He could tug her into his arms and ask her a million questions. All the ones that he desperately wanted an answer to.

He remembered when he first brought her here. How he’d forced her to stand in this room and take her clothes off. How he’d brought Lara into this room, thinking that maybe she would enjoy the touch of a woman first. And then how she stood in front of his people today, all icy exterior with kind eyes whenever someone talked with her.

Lust knew other people had layers like this. There were plenty of women who were the same as her. Women with lives and dedications to others, women who were made to be nobles and who had spent their entire lives learning how to be the best political weapon they could be.

But he’d never noticed them. This woman had wrapped her hand around his throat and demanded that he look at her. See her. Understand that she wasn’t like the others, even though he swore she was.

He joined her at the railing, leaning his arms against it and staring out at the twinkling lights. “You know, when I first made this kingdom, I thought that seeing lights at night would never be possible.”

“Is that so?”

He nodded. “There weren’t enough people to gather the lights bright enough. We all started with so few subjects. There weren’t many humans left, you see.”

The faint rustle of fabric came before she shifted a little closer to him. “That’s not what we were taught. The kingdoms of mortals were known throughout the realms, all better and larger than the last. Then the seven demons arrived, each one manipulating the kingdom into the worst forms of themselves. People who could not live without fighting. Mortals who couldn’t deny their bodies base desires. Others who stole and raped and pillaged because they knew no other way.”

“Is that why you were so cold to my brother?” He snorted. “Greed’s kingdom is not the same as ours, certainly, but the nomadic tribes enjoy going to war with each other. He’s more or less tamed them, although it’s taken hundreds of years to figure out the best way to do that.”

“Tamed them?” Selene looked at him as though he’d suggested her entire history was wrong. Which, he supposed, he had. “What do you mean, tamed them?”

“The wilds of man.” He gestured with an arm to all around them. Then pointed far off into the distance, where there was the faintest outline of color. “That’s Gluttony, in case you were ever wondering.” He pointed in the opposite direction. “Greed’s kingdom is there. We arrived in our mortal forms with a singular purpose. Humanity was going to kill itself. Wipe itself out of this realm and then what would spirits be?”

“Spirits? The same as they always were, I suppose.”

He was going to tell her a secret that the others would be furious at him for admitting. “Spirits feed off mortals. We can not feel your emotions. We cannot generate them or develop new emotions. We live because you are alive, not the other way around. Without you all feeling, we would wither away into nothing. And many of them did. Many, many spirits died in those days.”

The stony expression never faltered from her face, but he thought there was a softening in her at his words. Almost as though she felt pity for the spirits he had lost.

A quiet silence stretched between them. And he could only hope that she realized how important the information he’d given her was. She could tell no one the truth about the kings, and in some way, he trusted her not to.

Sighing, she shifted closer to him, so close he could have tilted his hand and linked their fingers. He’d never wanted to hold a woman’s hand before. He’d wanted a lot of other things, but never something so innocent as that. Yet, now he thought the slightest brush of her fingers would be a blessing.

She licked her lips. “So you’re like parasites then?”

Lust reared back, all those happy thoughts disappearing in the insult’s wake. “Parasites?”

“You feed off us.” She nodded, staring off into the distance with determination on her face now. “I understand it. If we weren’t around, then you wouldn’t have a natural food source. Of course, that requires you to have a regular meal, and that makes all of you a bit like parasites. Or symbiotes, if you wish to think of yourself in kinder terms.”

He had no words. Not a single word to respond to her insulting his entire species like that.

He opened his mouth, ready to spout whatever he could to tell her how utterly wrong she was, only to see her lips twitch.

Just the side opposite of him first, and then she slanted her gaze to his. Those glittering dark orbs were filled with so much mirth, he thought she was going to burst with it. Then she did. Selene tilted her head back and a rush of laughter bubbled out, the sound tumbling from her lips and easing all the wounds she’d delivered.

“Parasites,” he snarled one last time, giving her shoulder a shove with his. “Do you really think that?”

“No.” She shook her head, still chuckling at her apparently very enjoyable joke. “You feed off something we have in abundance. And I’ll admit, even after you claimed to have tasted my lust, it did not dull the sensation that I felt.”

“It doesn’t,” he grumbled. “We’re not taking your emotions away from you, foolish woman.”

“Ah, don’t call me that because you’re upset with me.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.” She giggled again, shaking her head. “But that’s all right. I deserve it for such a comment.”

He grinned. She looked so pleased with herself, so happy that she’d made him smile. How could he not? And it was the first time she’d joked with him. The conversation between them was so easy. So simple that it was hard to not grin at her, knowing how precious these quiet moments were.

They both returned their attention to the glittering lights of the city below them before she blew out a long breath.

“What is it?” he asked, eyes still trained on the horizon.

“You don’t touch me like you used to.”

He scoffed. “Do you want me to?”

“I’m saying that you used to force me to touch you. There were all these lingering touches, gazes. You were constantly pushing me with your body, as though you had something to prove.” She cleared her throat. “You don’t do that anymore.”

“I do not,” he whispered.

“Why?”

Lust had to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. But she deserved the truth, so he told her. “You didn’t like it.”

The quiet stretched between them, so thick that he almost didn’t hear her say, “Well, maybe I would like it now.”

He straightened. His damn chest puffed out like she’d told him he was her god, and he stared at her in shock. She didn’t look back at him, though the peaks of her cheekbones turned bright red.

Was she really letting go? Was she asking him to touch her because she wanted it?

Hesitantly, he reached for her. Selene let him guide her against his chest, sighing against his skin as he settled her in his arms. He didn’t know what to do with them, so he wrapped her up in his grip and hoped he was doing this right. He’d never snuggled with anyone before, never had to. But right now, this felt good. Right. Exactly the way it should.

He set his chin on the top of her head and asked the question that sat on the tip of his tongue. “Things have changed between us, then?”

“I suppose so. I’m no more happy about it than you are.”

But he was blissful. So pleased with this that he could stay out here in the cold air with her in his arms for hours. Still, he licked his lips and tried his best to convey how he felt. “I’m not unhappy about it, Selene. Not at all.”

Her breath fanned over his collarbone. She didn’t respond, and he supposed she didn’t have to.

Right now, all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and watch the stars blink to life.