24. Camille

TWENTY-FOUR

Something sweet looms in the air as the two of us embrace, his brine filling my nose and overwhelming my senses. I didn"t think I'd be reunited with Mazituz after being so abruptly removed from his side, but I lingered anyway, calling out and hoping he was there to hear me.

I like to think I could feel him on the other side of the wall.

We walk through the caverns, hand in claw. His tentacles spin and spiral wildly, and if I didn't know him better, the movement might actually be frightening. His wet, clammy grip is strong against my own, his every grasp and pull guiding me through the caves.

"I know you think you're doing me a favor," I say, chuckling. "But I partly came back for you, too, you know."

He steers me forward toward the small crystal forest, leading me carefully through the rough, cratered ground, and I realize how beautiful he truly is beside the multicolor shimmer of the crystals. Even the fungi on the walls radiate with his splendor.

"I highly doubt that," he says with perhaps a bit more confidence than I'd like.

I squeeze against his claw, and he looks into my eyes.

"If what you felt was anything like what I was feeling, well…" I tell him. "I didn't want you to deal with that alone."

"And would you mind specifying your sentiments?"

I lift my head, taking in the cool cavern air.

"I felt lost," I say thoughtfully. "I felt like when I found you, I realized some deeper purpose I didn't know I needed. And to lose that so suddenly when I didn't know what my life really meant before meeting you, was devastating. Just the idea of continuing, knowing I'd never meet anybody like you again was impossible to deal with."

He nods. "I suppose that's how I felt as well."

"Could you have honestly dealt with that?" I ask. "Have you experienced heartbreak like that?"

He shakes his head. "No. It was like every fiber of my being was screaming out to be with you, even if the logical part of my brain knew you were better off without me."

I chuckle. "See, you say that," I reply. "But if there's anything I've learned these past couple weeks, it's that I'm really not very good at keeping myself alive."

His blank stare as he evaluates me feels like it penetrates my very soul.

"You're more capable than you realize," he says. "You underestimate your strength far too much, human."

"Those beasts would have flayed me alive had you not intervened. I wasn't even sure what I was going to do if I had to survive on the surface."

His tone turns serious and introspective. I feel him hardening in my grasp, returning to the strong and cynical creature I've come to love.

"Now that you're in my realm, you're going to have to find your strength," he says. "It's a dangerous place filled with threats like none you've seen on the surface. Just know that I'll protect you for as long as I live, and maybe even beyond my mortal expiration."

"I feel the same way."

"But I think if you come to look back on the past few weeks from my eyes, perhaps you'll come to see yourself the way I see you."

He seats me on the hard soil and grass-like floor, and I lay against his lap, taking his hand in mine.

"How do you see me, Mazituz?"

My eyes aren't looking up at him, but at the vast ceiling of the expansive cavern chamber.

"You're so prideful. You've never really told me."

"We have that in common, I think."

My neck turns rapidly as I meet his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"You're very prideful, Camille," he says.

His eyes look toward the ceiling, and I lie comfortably back against him.

"I suppose that's fair."

Our hands fidget together.

"Though not always in the ways it counts. I think if you were a little fairer to yourself and a little less humble, you might actually take pride in how much you've accomplished and how far you've come."

"I don't know what you mean," I reply.

I see now how much the glowing fungi on the ceiling look like stars. I think, in some ways, it might actually be more beautiful than the night sky. "I've only done the bare minimum to survive," I point out.

"And that's far, far too much," he says. "It's an anomaly that any of you survive."

He grips my hand far more tightly, and I can feel the pain in his voice resonating in his every pause and intonation.

"I wish the world were more kind to you, Camille. Now that I've really had more time to analyze it, perhaps it is an impulsive move, becoming my mate."

I pause.

Surely he's not saying what I think he's saying?

"But it was ill-informed of me to send you back to the surface like that. At least here, I can guarantee they won't take you from me again."

I sigh.

"I guess it's not just monsters to watch out for down here."

"No, indeed."

For a moment, we sit in silence, simply watching the cave live around us. The glowing flora pulsates and water drips rhythmically all around us into ponds, springs, and streams. The creatures, whose lives are still a mystery to me, hunt each other in the darkness.

Chirops swoop down from above, taking down insects. Insects feed on the strange crystals and tree sap.

It is humbling, seeing my place in the world. I imagine the dark elves have everything delivered to them in their palaces and mansions, but I've been allowed to retake my place in the food chain, becoming a hunter.

Though the thought of eating chirops does turn my stomach.

Finally, I vocalize the thing most on my mind.

"You're not already regretting it, are you?"

He laughs. It's the heartiest, most sincere laugh I think I've ever heard come from him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Becoming my mate… or me becoming your mate?"

He looks me deep into my eyes, turning my head toward his.

"Camille, no," he says. "You're everything in existence to me. I'd give every cavern on Protheka… that is the name of our realm?"

I nod in affirmation.

"I'd give my very soul to be with you."

He sets me back down, and I feel him running his claws softly through my hair.

"It's just, earlier, you said it was impulsive…"

His claw stops.

I take in the stillness around me as I feel him becoming lost in thought.

"I've lived for a very, very long time, Camille," he says.

"I know that. You've told me many times."

"Sometimes, I don't know if you do know. I feel like I've lived an eternity sometimes."

I feel his breath on the nape of my neck. It's surprisingly cold, but also somehow comforting.

"I'm not entirely sure what you're getting at."

"All I mean is that life gives me context. I look back on myself centuries, even decades, ago, and my choices surprise me. And you are young."

I rub my hand over his claw, massaging it in my grip.

"What is all this rambling?" I ask. "Are you just worried that I'll wake up one day and feel like I made a mistake?"

"Like I told you, Camille. Our bond is for life."

I look back up at him. Turning myself around, I move up toward his mouth, kissing him deeply.

We embrace for what feels like an eternity. I grip his shoulder tightly, stabilizing myself against the slippery crystalline ground.

When we finally separate, I look him in his eyes. He needs to know how serious I am about this.

"Mazituz," I tell him. "I don't regret choosing to be your mate. I could never regret choosing to be your mate."

The expression on his face is almost a little sheepish.

"I truly hope so."

"You don't have to hope. If I become a woman who doesn't want to spend every waking moment at your side, sharing everything with you, then I'm not Camille anymore."

I still see small amounts of doubt in his eyes.

I remember when my greatest fear was whether I'd have enough to eat or whether monsters would devour me. This is truly a nice change of pace.

"You've given me everything, Mazituz," I say. "And you said I was humble? You could disembowel the fiercest creatures in all the realm, and yet here you are, wondering whether you've earned my love.

"I didn't really know freedom before I met you. Not really. So to act like you're my jailer all of a sudden, when you helped me escape from actual prisons?

"No, Mazituz. You freed me. I would be truly and utterly lost without you."

We reminisce a little longer under the crystalline trees before heading back to his lair. I try to savor every thought… every word… every moment spent in his company. These are the moments we'll look back on most fondly. Compared to the events of the past several weeks, this all feels so simple.

The restrained smile he carries, just degrees away from breaking into giddiness, buoys me, putting a slight spring in my step.

I'm not sure if I can remember a time when things felt so easy. As long as I've been alive, I've had to hide or run. This feels very different. No longer will I hide or run because I'm a human. Should the dark elves ever cross our paths again, we'll fight.

We arrive in the lair finally, and we rest together on the moss, kissing deeply. I feel the lights surrounding me calming me from their places on the walls.

Taking my hand against his shoulder and pushing gently, I give Mazituz a twisted smile.

"Why don't you let me show you again how much I love you?"