15. Jude

FIFTEEN

JUDE

I 'd rigged up a television on the patio to play Shark Week shows, laid out a Slip 'N Slide across the yard, and filled up a plastic kiddie pool. I'd also bought some blue streamers and random shark decorations to stick on the back door. Sebastian used to be really into sharks when he was little, and the tradition had started as ordering pizza and a marathon of shark videos. Two years ago, we'd had a little picnic. Last year, a party. This year, a bit bigger. Why not?

Sebastian had invited a couple of friends over, and the four of them took turns throwing themselves down the slide, hopefully avoiding breaking anything. Amelia hung out in the kiddie pool with Scarlett and Tucker, playing with plastic fish.

I stationed myself at the grill, sipping an ice-cold beer, courtesy of Nate.

"It's hot as shit," he said, swiping the hem of his tank top with a cartoon shark on it over his forehead.

Dylan nodded in agreement, turning his hat backward as he repositioned his feet, propping one hand on his hip, allowing Evie to slip her arm through his. "What'd I tell you about that? "

"What?" he asked, bending his head to her, a ghost of a smile on his face, and I swore I'd never seen that guy smile more than since he'd started going out with her.

She tipped her head flirtatiously. "Don't play all innocent. You know."

Dylan playfully smacked her butt, and Nate winced, face strained like he wanted to say something about one of his best friends and his sister but didn't.

Making real progress.

"Rawr!"

We all whirled around at the screech. Finn sprinted into the yard with Kennedy jogging after him, a big bag hanging off her shoulder. "Be careful! You'll slip and?—"

"Ah!"

We snickered as Kennedy picked up Finn, brushing him off, while Liam shook his head, bringing up the rear, a Tupperware of what appeared to be cupcakes in his hands. He set it on the table then crossed the yard to his family. Kennedy wrestled with Finn, swiping sunscreen over him as he kicked and shrieked to get down.

"Tucka! Tucka! Help!"

Tucker came to his rescue, water gun in hand, squirting at Kennedy. She set Finn down to run behind Liam, forcing him to take on the water. He lunged at both boys, eliciting screams of delight as they scampered off.

"How's everybody doing?" I asked when the pair approached, Liam's arm around Kennedy as she wiped water from his face and neck.

"Not bad." Liam accepted a beer from Nate.

Evie greeted Kennedy with a hug. "Do you want a margarita?"

"Yes. Definitely," Kennedy answered with a clap, the two women headed inside to my kitchen, and all at once, the four of us men started talking.

"Finn got tall. "

"You and Kennedy seem to be doing good."

"How was the kids' trip with your in-laws?"

"What do you think girls talk about? Do you think they're in there, drinking margaritas and gossiping about us?"

Liam nodded at Dylan. "Yeah, it's like he grew three inches overnight. He's eating everything."

Then Liam looked at me, a goofy grin slashed across his face. "Kennedy and I are doing well. Really well."

In response to his question, I told him, "The kids had fun. Seb's been in a good mood since they came back home."

And the three of us turned to Nate. He answered his own question after glancing to the girls now sitting at my kitchen table with margaritas, laughing over something. "They're definitely talking about us."

We all nodded.

Dylan elbowed Nate. "Why don't you go in and join them? You love to stir up shit."

Nate accepted the words like a compliment and gestured to Liam with his beer. "Worked out well for O'Neil. And you, actually."

Nate had sort of set up Kennedy to be Liam's nanny, and if it weren't for Genevieve working at Nate's bar, Dylan never would have met her. Nate was really their fairy godfather.

Dylan ignored Nate's "You're welcome" for a sip of his beer, which only gave my old friend room to stir up shit with me.

"What's with the haircut?"

"It was time," I said and pointed to a platter, which he handed me.

"You working out too?"

I removed the burgers and hot dogs from the grill, pivoting to find all three of them studying me. I brushed past them. "I might've started using my old rowing machine."

Dylan hummed quietly, while Liam patted my back. "If it makes you feel good, go for it. "

Nate's eyes twinkled with a knowing spark. "Did you get laid?"

I remained pointedly silent.

"Dude!"

"Shut up," I murmured, placing the platter down on the table and whistled for the kids to come eat.

"No wonder you're carrying yourself differently," he said in a hushed voice. "I told you, sex would help ease your stress."

The kids lined up with minimal jostling as they grabbed their food. Tucker attempted to steal three of Kennedy's cupcakes before Dylan intercepted him. The girls returned to the patio with drinks in hand and smiles on their faces, sitting at a table under the umbrella, while the kids spread out on towels and blankets on the grass.

The last thing on anyone's mind appeared to be sharks.

Especially when Brooke showed up at the gate, wearing that long, loose navy dress she'd tried on for me weeks ago. The one with tiny straps and buttons all down the front. The same one she'd said she could either wear a strapless bra with or none at all.

Goddamn it.

Amelia ran straight over to her, hopping around her legs as Brooke steadied the tray in her hands. "Oh, careful, sweetie. Don't want to drop these."

"What are they?" Amelia asked, walking backward.

"Shark bite shots. Special ones for the adults, and blue raspberry for the kids. See?"

Amelia squealed excitedly when Brooke showed them to her, the little cups filled with blue and red Jell-O, topped with gummy sharks and Swedish Fish.

"Daddy! Look!"

"I see." I accepted the tray from Brooke and placed my hand on her back, ushering her to the table in the shade. "I think you know everyone already. "

"Yeah." Brooke waved at the group. "Hi."

Evie and Kennedy immediately pulled her into conversation, and I pivoted to my friends, gawking at me.

"What?"

Silence.

" What ?"

Nate dipped his chin, shooting me a reproachful glare. "Did you forget to tell us you were fucking your farmer friend?"

I frantically waved my hands. "Say it louder. I don't think Sebastian heard you."

Dylan took the opportunity to slug Nate in the arm.

"I don't want anyone to know," I explained in a near whisper, and they leaned in, creating our cone of silence. "It's…not… It just happened."

"What do you mean, it just happened?" Liam asked, and I rolled my eyes.

"You, of all people, need a biology lesson?"

"No, but sex doesn't just happen. It takes a little bit of forethought."

"Yeah." Dylan huffed out a gruff laugh. "Since when are you so spontaneous?"

I pulled at my T-shirt, suddenly uncomfortable. "Since, I don't know… Since we got high and had sex."

Nate crossed his arms. "When? Where?"

"It started a few weeks ago."

"It started a few weeks ago!" he whisper-shouted. "And you didn't tell us?"

"It's none of your business."

"You're my business," Nate declared, index finger angrily aimed at the ground like he was claiming me as his land. "You're my best friend." Then he waved that finger across Dylan, Liam, and me. "You motherfuckers are all my business. You hurt, I hurt. You're happy, I'm happy. "

Dylan actually nodded and tossed his arm around Nate. "That's really sweet, man."

"Yeah," Nate went on, still miffed, "and it doesn't feel so nice when something really great happens to you, and you keep us out of the loop."

"Nothing happened," I said, hands up. "There was nothing to tell."

Liam eyed me. "That really true?"

"You're cutting your hair and losing weight and wearing your good shorts for no reason?" Nate added, and I spared my light-blue dress shorts a glance. I didn't consciously do any of those things because of Brooke, but…

"It's not a big deal," I said, and my friends stared blandly at me, waiting for an explanation about my obvious lie. I sighed. "We were hanging out the night of my birthday, and we decided we were each going to start dating. We set up profiles together and sort of agreed to help each other."

"With sex?" Dylan guessed.

I scrubbed my fingers through my hair, wicking away the sweat at my temples. "She went on a date with a shit guy, and I was freaking out about this girl I was talking to. We got high, and one thing led to another and…"

"So it was only one time?" Liam asked around a sip of beer.

I shook my head.

"I can't believe you didn't tell us." Nate backhanded my bicep. "So, what? You're dating now?"

I shook my head again.

"Just fucking," Nate supplied.

"It's…" I trailed off, not knowing how to defend myself. If I even could. Brooke and I were not just fucking. We were not just anything. And the fact that I hadn't realized it—until this exact moment—made me ill.

We'd agreed to this stupid dating pact because she wanted to find her happily ever after, but by constantly asking for her attention, I had hindered her journey. I couldn't do that to her.

She was my friend.

My best friend.

She deserved the world.

"She wants to get married," I told my friends, and they filled in the rest.

"What are you gonna do?" Dylan asked, fist by his mouth, gaze narrowed on me. He'd been in my position. He had only wanted a fling too and found Genevieve.

But I didn't intend to find anybody, and I knew what I had to do. I slipped my cell phone out of my pocket, tapping on the app.

"What?" Nate peered over my shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"Finding a date."

"Didn't you…" Liam glanced over to the table with the girls then back to me. "Don't you like Brooke?"

I nodded. That was the exact problem. I liked her and couldn't continue to steal all of her time and energy. We needed a reset. Get back to our original goals.

Nate motioned to my cell phone as I scrolled. "You sure about this?"

"Emma," I said, clicking on the profile of a woman I'd matched with, "is a Libra who loves good conversation and Taylor Swift." I turned my screen to show the guys. "She's cute."

They didn't agree but didn't disagree either. All of them stared at me with various dubious expressions.

I typed out a quick message to her, not even thinking about how it sounded or second-guessing tone. Hey. How's your day going?

By the time Emma responded, the boys and I had finished our burgers and moved on to a discussion of who'd win in a fight: shark versus orca .

Hi! It's going great , she messaged. I took my dog to the park this morning, and I'm about to grill up some dinner.

You grill?

Yeah. I love to grill. My dad was big into BBQ, and I love some good smoked meats.

I sniffed a laugh. I like a girl who knows her meats.

LOL. That's me. What are you up to today?

"What's she saying?" Nate asked, leaning over for a peek at my phone.

I shrugged. "She seems cool."

I'm having a Shark Week party. I snapped pictures of the decorations and the Slip 'N Slide, sending them to her.

THAT'S brILLIANT , she sent with a ton of laughing-face emojis.

Thank you. *Tips hat* My kids love it.

That's adorable. You're adorable , she messaged, and I grinned.

I didn't know if it was my newfound confidence or desperation, but I took a leap. I know this is a little fast, but would you want to grab dinner tomorrow? Maybe find some good barbecue?

You know what? It is a little fast, but there's something about you. So, sure. Let's get dinner.

I interrupted my friends in the middle of an argument over whether an octopus could kill a shark. "She said yes."

"Who?" Nate lurched back. "This new chick?"

"Emma. Yeah. We're going to?—"

"What's going on over here?" Brooke popped up out of nowhere, looking like sunshine and smelling of lavender.

I didn't answer, my focus momentarily caught on the thin material of the dress, trying my best not to acknowledge her nipples. Since she, for sure, had gone braless today.

Goddamn it.

Nate, ever the shit-stirrer, answered for me. "Jude's making a date. "

If I didn't know her so well, I wouldn't have seen it, how her face fell for half a second before she blinked and brightened. "Oh? That's great."

I slid my phone into my pocket like a traitor waiting for execution.

Nate, Liam, and Dylan studied Brooke, most likely waiting for a reaction. But she would never betray herself or me like that.

She cleared her throat and held up the tray of shots she'd made for the party. "I already handed out some to the kids. The sharks are on top of the plain Jell-O. The Swedish Fish have the alcohol in them."

I took one, which set off a chain for the guys to also snag one each for themselves. "Thanks for bringing these."

She smiled impassively down at the small cups. "So, when's your date?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Do you have a babysitter?"

"I haven't made arrangements yet."

She squinted up toward the sky and then over to me, her throat bobbing on a swallow. "I can stay with the kids."

I slanted my head back. "Really?"

"Yeah. Of course." She nodded, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Dylan shake his head, while Liam downed his beer. Nate blew out a noisy breath. She smiled a smile that wasn't fooling anybody. "What are friends for?"

But I had to do this. Rip the Band-Aid off. She needed her happily ever after, and I needed…

"Let's do these shots," I said, holding up my cup. The boys all saluted with theirs, and we sucked back the Jell-O, almost all of us coughing.

"Jesus," Nate wheezed. "How much alcohol did you put in here?"

"Too much?" She bit back a laugh. "I eyeballed it. "

"By pouring the whole bottle in?" Dylan asked, smacking his lips.

Liam shrugged and snatched another one. "I like 'em." Then he tossed over his shoulder, "Angel, you're driving home tonight."

Kennedy waved in acknowledgment. "Got it."

Since I didn't have to drive anywhere, I reached for a second shot. Might as well take down the whole tray. I'd already stolen the light from Brooke's eyes today; I wasn't about to let anything she brought to the party go unfinished.

Who needed a liver anyway?