CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Renn

Imeant what I said when I told her she would never have to ask me to kiss her again. But I wanted her to make that decision for our first time, and I knew I'd never be able to deny her if she asked, so when she did . . . I was undone. My selfishness got the better of me again when it came to her. Of course, I knew the possibility of kissing her would be dangerously high if she was going to be in my house, but I wanted it to happen, and I am glad it did, no matter how reckless it was. I was playing with fire, and now the fire that was and is Maven has consumed me. If I had it my way, I would have kissed her weeks ago—on that day we made it to the overlook—when she ran to me and I held her in my arms. Or when we talked under the moonlight that night and she told me about her father. Kissing her was a whirlwind of feelings that I couldn't keep in order. The way she made me come alive at the feeling of her lips against mine, the taste of her skin . . . It felt so right, so easy.

I also didn't lie when I said that she now knows more about me than anyone else in Solitude Ridge, but what she doesn't know is that she actually knows more about me than anyone on this entire planet.

But despite all of that good, there's the lingering fear. No matter what I feel for her, there's the probability that if, or when, she finds out everything, she'll leave . . . The thought of her walking away, hating me, or worst of all, being afraid of me . . . the thought is unbearable.

But then there's a feeling that surprises me. Hope. I dare to let myself think that maybe the universe is telling me that it's time to let go, that it's giving me permission to move on and hold on to this beautiful thing that has entered my life. Maybe it was destined.

I can't help but smile to myself as I drive into town, because even thinking of the universe as a force of good strikes me as ironic.

It'd sort of been an underlying joke within the association that there was some greater force in control of the universe. I never thought much of it, but now that I've met Maven, there has to be something greater at work that led me here to find her.

I hardly notice the glow of the Main Street lights as I pull into town. My mind is a bit foggy, replaying that kiss over and over again, and when she pushed me up against the door . . . the thoughts swirling in my head were nothing if not downright filthy.

There's already a large gathering in front of Val's store as I pull up, a few pickups full of sand bags being unloaded nearby. Sandbags are always readily available, but they usually aren't needed until the end of winter when the snow starts to melt. I'm grateful for the town's preparedness, because there's a heavy amount of flooding toward the end of the street that will start to rise soon if we don't direct the water away quickly. I zip up my rain coat and pull on the hood, getting out of my truck.

Val sees me immediately and calls out to me. "Renn! Thank you so much for coming." She's standing under an umbrella next to one of the trucks being unloaded.

"Hey, Val, you weren't kidding!" I yell over the noise of rain, motioning to all the busy movement as people run back and forth from the trucks. "Where do you need me?"

She beams at me proudly. "Oh, Renn, I can always count on you," she says, taking hold of my arm. "It looks like we should have enough bags to line the street, and we've started to direct the water gathering at the bottom of the street away from the road, but we're going to need to move faster."

It's hard to recognize who all is here with everyone wearing heavy coats and hoods, but I spot Asher and Trey in the group and give them a nod. They wave in return, carrying a couple of bags over their shoulders.

"Alright then." I move toward the trucks, but Val grips my arm again, causing me to pause.

"Did you happen to check up on Maven? I saw her at the coffee shop earlier, and she didn't know about the storm. I figured you talked to her though?"

I cock my head to the side, biting the inside of my cheek, and she smiles wide, seeming to already know my answer. "She's staying at my place, actually, but I have a feeling you knew that," I say, winking.

"I had an inkling, but I just thought I'd ask."

"How is it that you already know everything?" I ask jokingly.

In all seriousness, Val answers, "Oh, please. I saw the way you were around each other from day one. It was just a matter of time. It was always there."

"What was?"

Valery's mischievous grin changes to a subtle smile as she squeezes my arm lightly. "Oh, dear, I think you know. I think you've known for a while now." For the first time ever, I don't have a comeback or lighthearted comment to return. She pats me on the back. "Now hurry up so you can get back home." I don't say anything as she shoos me along.

How strange but comforting it is that I have someone to go back to—that someone is waiting for me. Home. It's as if it's the first time I've ever heard the word because I realize here, standing in the pouring rain, that Maven is home.

Homeis waiting for me.

A few hours later, I am thoroughly soaked, every bit of my clothes completely drenched, my fingers so numb, I can't grip anything properly. We're all baffled that it still hasn't snowed. How much colder can it get? I think as the night goes on. The large crowd has dwindled, the trucks now empty, and the only people left from the large gathering earlier are Asher, Trey, and myself.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure I will never be warm again," Trey says through chattering teeth. Now that we're no longer hauling heavy bags, the cold has set in more, sinking into our very bones.

This cold is painful, but there are different kinds of cold. My mind flashes back to those long days sitting in the low-functioning ship, floating through space. There's cold, and then there's space-cold, and I would take a rain storm like this over that any day.

"Let's get inside. Val said she would have towels and coffee once we were done," Asher says, and Trey and I follow him without hesitation. Sure enough, towels and hot coffee are waiting for us. I quickly drink my cup and dry off as best I can, anxious to get back to Mave. After a hurried goodbye, I rush to my car with achy limbs and sore hands, trying my best to hold on to the steering wheel. The rain has subsided some, but still falls all the way home.

Pulling up to the cabin, I see the faint hint of light glowing through the windows. I open the door, and Shy lifts her head from her spot on the couch, lying on top of Mave's legs. Maven is sound asleep and doesn't stir as I slowly remove my boots and coat. I walk over to the couch and rub Shy's ears—a silent thank you for keeping Maven company. She sets her head back down on Maven's legs and closes her eyes.

"Good girl," I whisper.

I glance at Maven and notice the blanket she has draped over her is sliding off the couch slightly. I carefully gather it up and place it on top of her and add another quilt on top for good measure, moving it to make sure Shy can breathe. She doesn't wake, only sighs deeply, her hair draping slightly over the side of her face.

I quietly move to the bathroom and take a quick, scorching shower before heading up to the loft. I secretly hope that she may have woken, but not even Shy follows me to my bed.

I don't want to fall asleep, but this time, it's for an entirely different reason. Nightmares are the last thing on my mind as I lie there, surrounded by the pattering sound of rain, clasping my hands behind my head. Just knowing she's sleeping under the same roof has me on edge, and not in a bad way. My body is alert, but so incredibly sore. I know I will feel it even more tomorrow.

I don't know what finally urges me to close my eyes. Maybe it's the rain or the comfort of knowing Maven is near. But I dream. Real, good dreams. Images of Maven and me sitting at the counter, having breakfast in the morning, taking Shy on a walk through the woods, and that kiss. That kiss was everything if not a promise of what could be. Our bodies were electrified at the first touch and taste of each other.

If only I would have known that the true nightmare would soon become very real, maybe I wouldn't have lost myself so deeply in my dreams of her.