Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

We stay locked in the bedroom for two hours.

To say I’m sore would be an understatement. Every attempt to move a limb will have me laughing in hysterics, and even that task is painful. Between my legs are red raw, and I mean I can’t even wipe myself with toilet paper without wincing. Julian’s well aware of my physical state, but do you think that stops him? No. Apparently, my ass needs a workout, a very any-hole-is-a-goal situation.

“Why aren’t you sore? Do you have an invincible penis? Should we get it a cape and mask?”

His chest rises and falls as he twists a lock of my hair between his fingers. “Adriana, that last move almost broke me. But fuck, what a nice sight of your ass.”

“We could end up on Sex Injuries in the ER or whatever that show is called.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if we do. You’re quite bendy and flexible, and my super-penis is not.”

Embarrassed, I blush at his comment. “I’m sorry.”

“Considering I almost blew when you did that thing with your leg over the side, it’s a talent. No need to be sorry.”

“You won’t be saying that when you’re on national TV.”

I try to move my body so I can kiss him, but I’ve lost the will to move and fall onto my back. Julian laughs at me and reminds me to get to the gym if I want to keep up.

Who would’ve thought two hours could do so much damage to one’s body? I remind him it’s almost time to pick Andy up from Hazel. He’s just as anxious to see him, and even suggests that we take Andy out afterward. It’s a great idea and makes me very happy to spend time with my two favorite people. The only thing bugging me is the sight of that raven. Google. It holds the answers, but with Julian constantly by my side, it’s best that I research this in private.

After the big showdown at the party, no doubt Lex will avoid me at all costs, he’s stubborn and extremely hot-headed. According to Eric, he’s also blacklisted since he knew what was going on. The only person who isn’t is Charlie. No surprises there, the moron thinks only with his dick.

Our relationship coming out is a huge deal. One would think it means we have the freedom to see each whenever and wherever we please. Quite the opposite—we barely have time to see each other. Julian has endless meetings with his editor this week, being offered another book deal plus the New York Times wants to offer him a permanent column. Life for him has really taken off, and no one is as deserving as he is. It does, however, mean he has decisions to make with what direction he wants to take his career in.

When he mentioned the New York Times, my heart sunk thinking he will need to move back to Manhattan, but he’s quick to tell me they are happy for him to stay in LA and fly over once a month. It seems like the perfect opportunity, yet he’s unsure if he wants to go back to working for a newspaper having enjoyed his time writing his book.

I, on the other hand, have become so busy trying to launch a new line. After the red carpet, my designs made it to Vogue and caught the eye of a few major labels in Paris. All of which want to schedule meetings with me, and given the difference in time zones, I find myself up at all hours trying to fit in work whenever Andy sleeps or is at daycare.

Between the madness, Julian and I will text or call, but we just aren’t in sync.

And the sex… well, that’s on hiatus.

We’re both busy and just can’t get anywhere within a reasonable time. Physically, I miss him. It’s like going cold turkey. He fucks me into oblivion and then nada. Okay, not nada, I did manage to blow him quickly one day on my lunch break, and the only reason it didn’t end in a happy ending for me is because an important buyer arrived early. Talk about leaving me high and dry, or more appropriately, lower and wetter.

Everyone has found out through the grapevine about our relationship. My mom is quick to call, and over the phone we had a lengthy discussion. She admitted that it all makes sense and understands why I was reluctant to come out in the open. After speaking to my dad, they both agreed that they want to meet Julian and thought it was a good idea to have a family dinner. I told her Lex wouldn’t come, but she was quick to reassure me that he already agreed.

What the fuck? What game is he playing?

Friday night, seven on the dot, Julian is standing with me on the porch. Andy is shuffling between us, busily telling Julian about Gramps and Grammy. I take a deep breath, but my airway feels tight. It could also be this dress which no longer fits loosely. So, I’ve gained a few, it’s what happens when you’re in love. Wait, did you just say that out loud or in your brain? OMG, look at him… his face hasn’t changed. Phew, okay, close call.

“Are you nervous?”

“Adriana… I’m thirty-three, it’s not like I’m in high school. I’ve been through a lot worse.”

I turn the handle on the door and push it open. Andy beats me to it, yelling for my parents as we enter the house. Mom is first to come out, wearing her apron. The aroma of pot roast is lingering in the air, and my taste buds go into overdrive. She wipes her hands on her apron as my dad walks in behind her. With both of them present, I introduce Julian. Being a perfect gentleman, Julian hands a bottle of wine to my mom and politely kisses her on the cheek. She seems incredibly pleased, shooting me a wink when he turns to shake hands with my dad.

My mom ushers us to the living room, both of us taking a seat on the couch. It doesn’t last long as Andy sprints into the room, pleading with Julian to come see the playroom. Of course, Julian agrees and excuses himself to follow an overly excited Andy.

“He’s lovely, Adriana.” My mom beams.

I go to say something, but Julian walks back in the room with Andy. The anxiety creeps up again, and just when I think I can control it, Amelia darts into the room and finds Andy.

They are here.

What’s the worst that can go wrong here?

Lex probably won’t talk to us, sulking with his they-have-a-plot-to-ruin-my-life attitude. Distraction will be the key to surviving the night.

Amelia is engrossed in this new Batman figurine, so it’s best to ask her a question just to clear my mind. I regret it almost immediately—this girl can talk, and I mean nonstop ramble that starts off with Batman to her trip to the museum to what she ate for lunch. For once, Andy is listening intently. His eye is on the Batman which no doubt will result in a tug-o-war later.

Charlie’s voice filters through the hall, and she enters the room with a baby carrier minus baby. Greeting everyone, she says hello to Julian in a casual way. She too looks on edge, and the reason why walks into the room carrying baby Ava. It’s impossible to be mad as Ava lights up the room with her infectious giggle. She’s almost eight months and has started to crawl. Unlike Amelia, she is a placid baby, happy to sit still and watch others. The older she grows, the more it’s obvious how much she looks like Lex. Those emerald green eyes are the dead giveaway, and poor Charlie, none of her genes carried over.

Lex is looking smug, wearing his jeans and black hoodie. He greets my parents as usual but fails to make eye contact with Julian or me.

Andy runs up and wraps himself around Lex’s leg. “Uncle Lex. Why didn’t you take me to soccer?” Andy complains.

“Sorry, Andy. I was busy.”

Fucking jerkoff. It’s one thing to be pissed off at me, but how dare he lie straight to Andy’s face.

The guilt must have hit him like a ton of bricks, his expression changing from wry to just plain old guilty. Serves him fucking right. Andy walks off with a sad face, almost in tears as he jumps into Julian’s lap and sucks on his own thumb again for comfort. The second that Lex sees Andy do that, his face falls, and pure hatred is steaming off him. The tension is so thick you can’t even cut it with three chainsaws.

My mom, also sensing the glum atmosphere, suggests we head into the dining room to eat.

Despite the nerves, I’m famished. The food is spread out on the table and looks scrumptious. I take a seat beside Julian, Lex sitting directly opposite me. It’s either that or directly opposite Julian. The kids are on the little table beside us, even Batman’s got his own chair.

We eat in silence until my dad begins the conversation. “So, Julian, Adriana tells me you travel quite a bit as a journalist. Tell me, have you ever been to Tanzania?”

“Yes, sir, about six years ago. I was part of a documentary which filmed people affected by diseases and how their current healthcare system can’t cater to the number of patients who need to be treated.”

“Please, call me Andrew.” My dad wipes his mouth with his napkin. “Quite impressive. I’ll be setting up a medical center in late fall. Would love to speak to you in more depth about what I should be expecting.”

“Of course, Andrew, I still have footage and notes.”

I look up at Lex. He has barely eaten and is swirling his food around. The conversation is probably a sore point, considering he gave up practicing medicine to become a billionaire. That’s entirely his decision and causes headaches for my dad, especially since he bent over backward to get Lex a job at the hospital.

Charlie is quick to compliment my mom. “Emily, you’ve outdone yourself again. This pot roast is delicious.”

“Thank you, honey.”

Lex finally takes a bite. “It was Elijah’s favorite.”

Everyone is quiet.

Fucking asshole pulling out a comment like that.

“Adriana mentioned it was your favorite as well,” Julian points out, challenging Lex.

Lex practically bangs his fork against his plate.

Charlie mouths “calm down.”

Under the table, Julian squeezes my thigh, relaxing me a little. If Julian has no problem with this, then why should I? The only moron at the table is the one sitting across from me, refusing to make eye contact again. God, he is behaving like a petulant child.

“So, Julian, where did you grow up?” my mom asks as she serves some green beans to my dad.

Julian places his knife down politely. “In South Carolina. Stayed there till college.”

“What college did you attend, son?”

Oh, my dad called him son. Lex’s face is furious, the grinding of his teeth can be heard a mile away.

“Studied at Harvard, then moved to New York to find work.”

And then he met Charlie.

Looking across the table, Charlie shifts uncomfortably until Lex purposely drapes his arm across her shoulder. So fucking juvenile.

My dad talks about Harvard, and it seems to interest Julian. There’s a lengthy discussion held about the curricular activities, and during this time, the kids leave and are watching a movie in the playroom. The conversation then steers to New York as my dad probes Julian about his time spent there and his work with the New York Times. I motion to my mom to halt the conversation, and with feeble attempts, he still carries on.

“New York is a great home base for journalism. What made you move to Los Angeles?”

Lex laughs and rudely interrupts them, “Yeah, what made you move to Los Angeles?”

Julian takes all the questions in stride, not flinching once. “I was done with New York, wanted a more relaxed lifestyle. I used to surf a lot, and it seemed like a good choice at the time.”

“Well, I’m glad you decided to come here.” I rest my hand on top of his.

“Did the two of you meet here in California?” my dad asks, slightly confused.

“Uh… no, Dad. The first time we met was in New York at a charity ball.”

Charlie has a blank face, refusing to a comment. Lex is lapping up the attention, his arm still around Charlie. He might as well pee on Charlie to claim her as his, that’s how territorial he is.

“I met Elijah a few times. He was a great guy.” Julian smiled.

Both my parents nod in unison, happily smiling at both of us.

“So why don’t you tell my parents the real reason you left New York?” Lex pushes him.

“Are you kidding me, Lex?” I blurt out.

“We’re a close-knit family. If Julian’s going to be part of it, surely they should know?” he says innocently.

“Lex, please stop.” Mom shakes her head, disappointed. “Julian, I want to apologize for my son’s behavior.”

“Emily, it’s to be expected. To answer your question, Lex, I wasn’t coping well with the death of a friend, and recent events caused the pain to resurface. I thought it was best to start new.”

“And go after Charlotte?” he states.

“Oh my God, Lex, will you just drop it?” Charlie pleads, fed up with his ludicrous behavior.

My mom lectures Lex and is clearly standing on her own as my dad is drinking his wine, looking somewhat amused by Lex.

“I’m not just going to drop it, Charlotte. It’s fairly obvious why he’s here.”

And here we go.

“Wow! I knew you were a selfish asshole, but I didn’t think you thought that little of me.” I pull my chair back and leave the room in a huff, walking outside to the backyard.

The fresh night air calms me down to the point I’m no longer seeing red, just a bright shade of pink. It’s not long before Julian comes outside, sitting down beside me on the step.

“We always knew this was going to be difficult, Adriana.”

But why is it only Lex making it difficult? He’s my brother, he saw firsthand the pain I endured losing Elijah. Why can’t he just be fucking happy for me?

“I just hate that he makes me feel like I’m nothing. It’s all about Charlie. He hasn’t once stopped to think that maybe I’m just as good as Charlie.”

“It’s isn’t a competition.” He pulls me onto his lap, and I wrap my arms around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. “I don’t blame him, you know. I’d be the same in his position.”

“Wait? You would?”

“Think about it, Adriana. I wasn’t a saint, and for a long time I did try to steal Charlie away from him.”

“This isn’t helping me.”

“Just let him do what he needs to do. For now, let’s focus on us, okay?”

And that’s the great thing about Julian, he’s rational, and even at the worst of times, he makes me see sense. The door creaks, and I turn around to see Charlie standing behind us.

“Hey, kids. Thanks for leaving me in the lion’s den.”

I know she is joking, her half-smile reassuring me that she can handle it. Charlie’s strong. She doesn’t let things get to her like I do.

“Julian, Andrew wants to know if you would like to join him in the den, something about a documentary on some disease thingy.”

“Sorry, beautiful.” He kisses my forehead, and I climb off him.

As soon as Julian is gone, Charlie speaks, “Adriana, just ignore Lex. There’s no point arguing with him. It’ll be a waste of time.”

“But surely that must have been uncomfortable for you? What gives him the right to treat Julian and me that way in front of my parents?”

“Yeah, it was. My hands are tied here. I want you to be happy, but I can’t control Lex.”

She’s right. Charlie may be his wife, but Lex has always been stubborn. She has a hold over him, but this is one of those times where he refuses to listen to anyone or thing besides his psychotic head.

“Has he been treating you badly this week?” I ask, guilty she has to put up with him.

“Yes and no. He’s got his mood swings, that’s for sure. But for the most part, quite the opposite, he has been more demanding, um… physically.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t need to spell it out for you,” she huffs, her eyes widening while watching me. “You don’t really want to hear it, do you?”

“Who cares? It’s no hidden secret that he’s apparently a god in the bedroom.”

“I never said that!”

“Oh… maybe Eric, then.”

“Ever since I came home from your house, any quiet moment we have alone he ravages me. And I mean ravage to the point that it’s like back in New York when we had just started up again.”

“Well, maybe that’s his coping mechanism.”

“It’s his way of controlling what he believes is his.”

“No surprises there. Oh well, it’s nice, I guess.” My tone flattens.

“Adriana, what’s wrong? I mean, apart from the obvious?”

Should I tell her about the doubt creeping in? How that raven spooked me, and all I can think about is Elijah? In some ways, Charlie is so lucky to have it all. She has a man who will move heaven and earth for her, two beautiful children, money, the works. Jealousy is an ugly trait, and one not to be had toward your best friend.

The door opens, and we both turn to see Lex. He asks Charlie if he can have a moment with me. She stands and leaves, closing the door behind her. Lex keeps his distance, standing behind me while I continue to sit on the step avoiding his presence.

“I’ve got nothing left to say to you.”

“Adriana, why do you have to make my life so fucking hard?”

I turn abruptly. “Your life?”

He keeps quiet. So quiet only the owls loitering in the trees can be heard.

“Out of all the people in LA, why him?”

I stand up in a hurry. “I’m not wasting my breath. I don’t expect you to understand. All you really care about here is Charlie. Not me.”

I walk back inside the house. It’s quiet.

In the living room, my mom, Charlie, and the girls are watching a movie. Standing around for a few moments, I easily get bored and go in search of Andy.

In the den, my dad and Julian are watching a documentary, engrossed in a lengthy discussion about the African government. It’s probably best I leave them alone, and just as I’m about to walk out, I catch a glimpse of Andy sitting on Julian’s lap with his head resting on his chest, happily sucking on his thumb, again.

The strings to my heart are pulled every which way, the contentment on Andy’s face indescribable. This isn’t all about me, this is about what Andy needs as well. Everyone needs a father, one who can take you to soccer practice or coach little league, teach you all about the birds and bees because Mama knows it’s the most awkward conversation of all time.

I wander back to the living room but remember I need to grab something from the guest bedroom. Making my way past the bathroom, an unusual sound escapes the room. What the hell is that? It’s more of a moan, and just when I’m about to open the door, it becomes too clear.

“Charlotte, you are mine. You fucking understand me?”

It’s followed by a low rumbling moan.

You’ve got to be kidding me!

I run out of the hallway fast, determined to erase the image creeping into my brain along with the sex moans. Dear God, please give me amnesia now. I’m out of breath by the time I enter the den, letting Julian know it’s time to leave.

By the time my dad and Julian have said their goodbyes and arranged to meet up to discuss his trip in more detail, we’re in the hallway when a very flustered Charlie turns the corner. She avoids eye contact, and when she goes to hug me goodbye, I place my palm in front of her, stopping her.

“No thanks, God knows what’s all over you.”

With that comment, her face turns beet red. Even Lex looks pleased with himself. I don’t say goodbye to him, and Julian knows not to even attempt but does say farewell to Charlie. It pisses Lex off, and his smirk falters into a bitter expression.

Outside, we walk along the path until we reach the car. With Andy strapped in, I let out a sigh of relief when I sit down. I shiver in disgust at the thought of them going at it in the bathroom. It’s not like they are horny teenagers, they have a whole house to themselves and sleep in the same bed every night.

“Why the shakes?” Julian asks as he reverses the car out of the driveway.

Without even thinking, I burst out, “Argh, just… gross… catching Lex and Charlie going at it in my parents’ bathroom. I mean, where’s the respect?”

A silence follows, and Julian’s face shows no expression. His grip on the steering wheel looks tighter than usual. I expect him to say something, but he doesn’t for the entire ride home. Andy is the one talking, and as soon as we park the car, Andy is quick to speak, “Jay, can you please read me a story tonight? The one with the puppy losing its mama?”

Julian releases his belt and turns to face Andy. “Sure, kiddo.”

He ignores me, and I’m taken aback.

Inside, Julian is reading to Andy in bed. It isn’t long before Andy asks, “Jay, will you stay here in my bed? The monsters talk to me, and I’m scared.” Julian nods and pushes his hair aside.

I stand outside the room, wanting to ask what the hell happened in the car. Why did he have a problem with Lex and Charlie having sex? Yeah, it was gross, but why did it bother him this much that he has to give me the silent treatment? He falls asleep beside Andy, and I don’t have the heart to wake him.

I climb into bed and hope that he will sneak in during the night.

It never happened.