Twenty-Eight Abel

Iwas in disbelief. Tobias didn't care if we lived or died. I couldn't believe he wanted me to abandon my friends—who had become my family—to save my own skin. Not gonna happen! If there was one beautiful thing that came out of this fucking place, it was the trust we had for each other, the product of our shared trauma. We were willing to sacrifice everything for a normal life outside this prison. I should run to get back and wake the guys, tell them what we were up against. Maybe Two and Seven could convince the others to move our plan forward; to fight back and escape like they'd been orchestrating for years. Long before I was brought into the group.

I wanted to be enraged with Tobias, but picturing his distressed face when I told him about Dad made my feet feel as though they were made of lead. His anguish haunted me. The words came out of my lips as a necessity. They were verbal arrows aimed at disarming him long enough for me to escape. I hadn't expected him to retreat the way he did, like a shattered man.

My steps faltered. "Damn him!" I stopped running and slammed a tree with my palm, over and over. My chest heaved. Our only connection to the rest of the guys outside the cult's Restricted Zone was the same person who didn't give a shit about us. "Fuck him!" He didn't deserve my compassion. "Don't be selfish!" Tobias had said. He was the selfish one. I succumbed to my weakening knees and sat down.

The cold numbed my fingertips. I blew warm air on them before balling my hands into fists to keep them warm. Tucking my head between my legs, I was suddenly overwhelmed by Tobias's scent. I'd forgotten I was wearing his shirt. I pulled the fabric closer to my face and inhaled deeply; his smell was sweet, comforting, and warm.

What are we going to do now? We were nowhere near ready to strike back at Orcus and his minions, but if what Tobias had told me about our fate was true, then we were running out of time.

I heard the rustling of leaves before the ground vibrated from pounding footsteps, getting closer and closer. The sound stopped in front of me. I didn't bother looking up.

"I'm glad I caught you," Tobias said.

"What do you want?" My question was met with silence. I waited for him to respond, but when seconds passed and nothing but the whistling wind whipped by us, I dared to glance up.

Tobias towered over me, his mismatched face studying mine. He held a shiny lighter in his right hand, toying with the lid absently. "Can I?" he asked, pointing to the spot next to me. If I hadn't seen his mouth move when he said those words, I would've thought they were coming from someone else. He seemed unsure, his swagger missing.

I nodded. I'd developed a soft spot for Tobias, and it wasn't from the forbidden acts we had shared. It was the way he always made sure I was safe and sound, like the selfless way he'd offered his shirt to keep me warm. Who would do that for someone they barely knew?

Tobias sat next to me, his warmth engulfing our space. "Look at me," he ordered. I ignored his command. "Abel, look at me." He reached for my chin, guiding my head to face him. "Please?" The tenderness of his touch seeped through his calloused hand.

My heart thundered in my chest, ramming against my ribcage. Tobias's mask of indifference I'd come to know these past few days was gone.

His stare traveled to my lips then back to my eyes. "I was in hell when Oliver first asked me for help." Tobias paused. He dragged in a lungful of brisk summer air, perhaps hoping it would give him the courage he needed to continue. He didn't carry on right away and I didn't push, fearing that I would rattle him and he'd leave. It was better to have these real silent moments with him. "I wouldn't even have remembered that he called if it wasn't for the call history on my phone. That's how messed up I was." He looked away, but immediately corrected himself and locked his eyes on mine. "Aurora had just been murdered and I was in a dark place."

"Tobias, I'm so sorry—"

He raised his hand. "It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago."

"But Tobias—"

"Stop." He hesitated, his voice trembling. "You need to let me tell you now, because I won't be able to go through this again." His vulnerability was palpable, his harsh demeanor replaced by a raw honesty that cut through my shock at hearing the awful news about Aurora once again.

"Okay," I said, fighting the urge to wrap him in my arms. "You can tell me anything." I slid closer to Tobias until our legs brushed against each other. It was subtle, but I felt his naked torso lean closer to mine.

"I was coming home from work one night and she wasn't there to meet me by the door. Her smiling face always welcomed me after every assignment. But not that evening." Tobias shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I reached for his arm to let him know that I was there for him.

"What was waiting for me that night was fucking brutal." He opened his eyes and continued. "She was on the floor in a pool of her own blood, her eyes wide open."

I kept my breathing steady, though inside I was shattering for him. I could only imagine the horror of finding someone you love like that.

"I spent my days drinking and trying to find the animals who did that to Aurora, but I failed her." Fury burned in his every word.

"Her death isn't your fault."

"It is my fault. I brought her into my shitty life. I know, without a shadow of doubt, that my fucking job is what killed her. I just never found proof."

"What do you mean your job killed her?" I asked. How could it possibly be his fault? "What do you do for a living?"

"I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you," he answered. I'd heard that remark before, but it didn't sound playful coming from him. "Truth is, I let your dad down. But I will never let you down."

Now everything was making sense. Tobias never abandoned Dad; he needed help too. "Did Dad know?"

Tobias shook his head, his hollow stare glued to the ground. "It doesn't fucking matter." He exhaled, and along with his breath went his vulnerable self. He was back to the cold and guarded man who'd walked into my life days ago. The old version of Tobias was there only briefly, but I missed that man already.

I took his lead and stared at the horizon; the clouds above had begun to part, revealing glimpses of a star-studded sky. The rain that was threatening to fall temporarily retreated.

"I will try my best to get you and your friends out of here. Even if it kills me." Tobias stood, extending his hand to help me get up. "Let's go."

"Wait," I began. We stood face-to-face. "There's something you need to know."

He swallowed when he noticed me staring at his full red lips, the supple and moist skin daring me to kiss them. I leaned closer, testing my fate, but that was when he chose to speak.

"What do you need to tell me?"

"Right." I looked down at my feet with uncertainty. Do I really want to involve him? Will the guys approve of my decision? Questions flooded my brain, but it was too late to back away. Not that Tobias would let me anyway.

"Abel," he called, snapping his fingers to get my attention.

"I need you to know something before you risk your life for us."

"What is it?"

"About our plan."

"What plan?" Tobias cupped my cheek, his touch soothing. "Talk to me." His thumb caressed my lower lip; his breath fanned my face. "Tell me now."

My senses were buzzing from his touch, his dominance. "The guys have been planning to break free from here," I blurted, before I became completely lost in his hypnotizing presence. "I trust you, Tobias. I really do. We all do, and we hope you can help us?"

His bare shoulders relaxed, but his hand remained on my face. "What kind of plan are you talking about?"

Tobias had opened up to me, I should be able to do the same. I owed him the truth.

***

Almost a Year Ago

My legs were wobbly, muscle exhaustion clinging to my every step. Hushed whispers among the other guys who'd completed their training minutes before I did greeted me when I entered our bunkroom. They were clustered in a circle, while one guy stood in front of them, watching the entrance. Everyone was half-naked; some wore underwear, while others had towels wrapped around their waists. It wasn't uncommon that I finished last because I was the youngest of the group. At eighteen, I was still adjusting to my new life away from my mom and Maddy. Out here, all we ever did was work out. Their voices died down as soon as they caught sight of my limping ass. They exchanged meaningful glances. Are they weirded out now that they know I'm gay? They assured me they didn't care when I told them a couple of nights ago. "What's up, guys?" I nodded in their direction.

Five, who I used to call Joshua and the one we all looked up to, stood. He stepped forward to meet me halfway. "I'm glad you're back." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and ushered me to join the huddle. "So … Nine," he began. "Can we trust you?"

I met his eyes before panning to the rest of the faces pinned on mine. "Yes."

"Whose side are you on? Theirs or ours?" Five's baritone voice was low but intense.

I straightened my posture, despite my weariness. What was up with all these questions? "I've always been on your side." I thought they knew that.

My answer seemed to satisfy the group as cautious nods were exchanged between them. Five stepped forward, joining the guys who were now all standing. He stood in front of them, his expression unreadable. "We've been planning our escape," he said.

"What!" I exclaimed, the weight of his words sinking in. "When?"

"Shhh." Five pressed his index finger against his lips. "Keep it down. No one can know. Not even your family. We can't trust anyone but us." He motioned to the room we all shared.

I nodded. "Got it." Flickers of hope sprung to life within me. Could we really break free from this place? That would be the greatest day. "How're we gonna do it? What about our family out there?"

"They're part of the bigger plan," Five said.

"What do you mean ‘bigger plan?'" I asked, dreading the prospect of leaving my mom and sister alone in the compound. Maddy was too young to be taking care of our ill mother.

"Listen, Nine. We can't take everyone out all at once. We have to do this in stages. The plan is for us to go first, then come back for our families."

"When do we come back?"

"As soon as possible. We have people outside waiting for that day."

"I dunno about leaving them here alone. What if they go after them?" I asked the group. Surely I wasn't the only one who thought about that possibility.

"Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the greater good. We will have people and a couple of guards to watch over them," Five explained. His sympathetic smile conveyed his sincerity.

"There are guards on our side?"

"Yes, a few. Some who were recruited to join Orcus's security a few years ago."

I absorbed every detail as Five outlined the plan. My pulse raced with a mixture of excitement and fear, the prospect of freedom tantalizingly close yet cloaked with uncertainty. What Five said made sense—we couldn't bring everyone with us, but we must make tough decisions for a chance to reclaim our lives and freedom.

"I'm in," I said. "When?"

"Not until we get the green light outside."

"And how do we do that?"

"With this," someone from the back said. The crowd parted and a guy walked toward me. He showed me an old cell phone that was held together with black duct tape. "This is our lifeline."

Five tapped the phone-holding guy's shoulder, and he went back and placed the phone in a small square hole in the floor by prying off one of the tiles. "We've mapped the entire compound and found weak points in their security."

I'd heard about the Restricted Zone and how no one who made it there ever came back. There were rumors that it was the center of Orcus's operations, but no one had been able to validate that story. Whatever was over there had to be bad news. This was The Creed, after all. The only constant about this cult was the secrets they kept. "What are we gonna do to get over there?"

"That's the part of the plan we're still working on. The selection will take place in a few months, and we're hoping one of us can find a way to scout the area and come back. The final piece of the puzzle."

"If we come back," a voice from the back muttered.

"It's a big if, but we gotta keep trying," Five said.

"Someone's coming," our lookout said. "Wrap it up."

The crowd dispersed and busied themselves with getting dressed.

"Joshua, wait." I grabbed Five's arm. "What about the guards on our side? Maybe they can help us."

Five shook his head, his lips turning into a frown. "They're here, not at the Restricted Zone, Abel," he whispered, before disappearing to the bathroom.

***

"Hmm, interesting." Tobias furrowed his brow. "How do you all plan to pull off an escape, Abel? It can't be that easy."

"We know. There are still things we need to iron out, that's why we can't go right now."

"Okay," Tobias said after a few seconds. "Here's what we're gonna do."

"What?" I asked eagerly.

"First, I'll take you to the guys out in the compound so you can tell them what we know. Then we'll tell the rest of the trainees in the barracks together. We might have to pretend nothing has changed to pull this off."

"You'll do that for us?"

"Yes. I'll do it for you."

My heart was full. Maybe letting Tobias in on our secret wasn't the worst idea after all. He could be the one to help us with the last piece of our plan. "When?"

"Tomorrow. We gotta head back." He hooked his thumb to the trail leading downhill. "Before they realize we're gone."

"After you."