Twenty-Three Tobias

An unfamiliar knot formed in my chest. I didn't get nervous. Ever. Ice ran through my veins, but Abel was molten steel, melting away my defenses, layer by layer. The sight of him in distress woke something inside me I didn't know existed. My protectiveness kicked in, wanting to break the skull of whoever was responsible for his tears. I wanted to shield him from anything that could hurt him, the way no one ever had for me. He tried to brush it off, but I could see pain, rage, and helplessness brewing in his eyes. I knew those feelings well. He hated this place as much as his father had. That was for damn sure. What wasn't clear was his reluctance to get the fuck out.

"So?" I asked when he didn't respond to my offer to run away. "Let's get your mom and sister and I can get us out of here in a couple of hours." One call to Archer and the gang and we could forget this place ever existed.

"I can't," he said.

I expected that answer. "Why? What are you not telling me?"

Abel studied my face but remained silent.

I cupped his cheek and gazed into his ocean blue eyes. Jolts of intensity sobered me, realizing what I'd done. I yanked my hand back and looked away. Cradling him in my arms earlier was a means to calm him when he broke down. Now that he appeared somewhat together, holding him felt different—I was exposed. Every time we touched, some armor fell away, leaving me unshielded. What the hell is happening?

Whatever this was had to stop. The plan had been to go back to the barn so I could snap images of what I'd found. Alone. But my stupid brain insisted that I take him with me. Maybe seeing his sister again would cheer him up. "Wanna go back to the Central Compound with me?" I asked before I changed my mind. "You can say hi to Maddy."

"For real?" Abel's expression morphed into happiness at the prospect of seeing his sister once again. But though he smiled, I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that there was something he wasn't telling me. More importantly, why did I care? I would find out the answer one way or the other.

"Sure." I shrugged, ignoring the twinge in my gut when he embraced me. The room around us closed in on me, and my feet were itching to get the hell out. I pried his arms away from my body, not because I loathed being touched but because I was beginning to like it more than I should. There was no turning back, no matter how hard I tried to deny my feelings. I liked Abel, which was the scariest thing I'd ever faced—and I was an assassin, for fuck's sake. I couldn't control my reactions to his presence and touch, but I could control our proximity—preferably thousands of miles away from this place so he would no longer occupy my mind.

"Umm. Thank you, Tobias," he said, taken aback by my abruptness.

I headed toward the bathroom but stopped halfway. "Abel," I grumbled. "No shenanigans." I didn't know if the warning was for him or me. I kept my back to him, waiting for his reply.

"I can control myself," he answered. "Question is … can you?"

Fucking little shit. I debated my decision, but I couldn't find it in me to take my invitation back. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Abel chuckled.

I smiled. Me. Smiling. Hell must have frozen over.

Sneaking out of the complex last night was a breeze, but not this time around. The main posts were guarded, so keeping our presence concealed was challenging. The crunching of gravel beneath our steps sounded like thunder in the silent night, and every rustle of a leaf turned into a potential threat, exposing our presence.

We scaled the first wall and managed to slip by without being seen. Vivid pictures of last night replayed in my head like a looping reel as we passed the spot of our first rendezvous. Abel must have had the same thought, because when I glanced at him, he was grinning from ear to ear.

We arrived at the old barn without stopping for extracurricular activities. Abel had stuck to his word and controlled himself. I didn't know if I was disappointed or glad.

I slid the large wooden door open, stopping when the metal wheel above squealed. Thankful that it didn't betray our presence, I wedged myself through the sliver of an opening into the dark room.

"I'll be on the lookout," Abel whispered.

"What? No!" I didn't need his help. I could manage just fine. "Go visit your sister."

"I'll do that later. I'll watch for the guards."

"That won't be necessary." Who did he think he was? We were not a fucking team.

"Just let me help you, okay? You can thank me later."

I groaned. I didn't have time for this shit. "Stay out there, boy. D'you hear me?"

"Copy that." Abel winked, smirking.

I made my way to the spot where I'd seen the metal crates and frowned. The stack of bins was half the height it had been before. "Where the fuck are the rest?" I whispered. I fished my phone from my cargo pants and turned it on. I snapped images of the remaining boxes, making sure that the serial numbers were visible for Zero. After taking a dozen photographs from different angles, I searched the perimeter of the barn for the rest of the crates. Having Abel guarding the door allowed me to move freely, inspecting every nook and cranny of the dark space. I spotted a ladder, its rungs disappearing into the pitch-black attic above. "Abel?" I whispered.

"Yeah?" Abel peeked inside, searching for the source of my voice.

"I'm heading up. Whistle if you see someone coming."

"You got it."

Step by step, the wooden ladder creaked as I climbed up. I prayed it'd hold my ass. The platform was as dilapidated as the rest of the place. Parts of the floorboards were missing a long chunk of plank, and I could see the barn ground below. I used the flashlight on my cell to illuminate the small space. Nothing but walls covered with dust, spiderwebs, and another ladder connecting a higher floor. The third level was in better shape. Empty magazines and bullet shells were scattered on the floor. I looked out the small window facing the main entrance of the compound. This was one of the tallest vantage points around.

A soft whistle drifted up from downstairs. "Shit!" I headed back down, and a bright light in the distance caught my attention. It appeared to be coming from outside the main gate. I glanced down at the watchtowers; it was unlikely the guards had seen it because they were facing inside the compound. The light beamed for another ten seconds before the woods turned back into darkness.

Abel was inside the barn, crouching, when I made it downstairs. He sprung up, wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and pulled me to the ground with him. "There're guards outside," he whispered. His breath smelled fucking amazing. Ceremoniously, I pulled his hand off me, which dropped to his side.

"How many?" I asked, craning my neck to peer out.

"Three." Abel mimicked my position. "Armed."

"Fuck." I couldn't believe I'd brought Abel into this shit. I should be protecting him, not delivering him to danger.

"They headed that way." Abel once again wrapped his arm around my shoulders like I was one of his buddies.

I stared at his hand then at his face and raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry," he said, distancing himself from me. "What do we do?"

"We'll wait them out." I relaxed and leaned my back against the bales of hay.

Abel settled opposite me and crossed his long legs. He stared at my face thoughtfully.

"What?" I asked after he'd spent a good five minutes just watching me. He was starting to freak me out.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"No." I crossed my arms and closed my eyes. Being this close to Abel and doing nothing was more anxiety-inducing than when we were messing around.

"What happened between you and Dad?"

"I said no questions." I should have seen that coming. Oliver and I used to spend a lot of weekends together, but things changed after witnessing the disappearances of other assassins' loved ones. They were never found alive. Having more people around me became a liability. Risking my life was the hidden truth I lived every day. I wouldn't gamble with his or his family's well-being. Then Aurora died, and a part of me died with her.

"Why did you stop visiting us?" he pried. That little fucker didn't know the meaning of the word no. "You were like his brother." I could sense the dismay in his tone. "He tried to reach you a hundred times, hoping you'd help us get the hell out of here." It didn't sound like he was blaming me; he sounded disappointed, and I didn't know which was worse.

I popped my eyes open. "It's not my fucking fault," I barked, cursing when I realized that we were surrounded by guards within earshot. I lowered my voice. "I wasn't the one who brought you and your family here. So watch your tone."

"I'm not blaming you," he said, his calmness pissing the shit out of me. "But Dad could've used a friend."

"Well, life is full of disappointment." I stared at holes in the ceiling before closing my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Was it because of Aurora's death?"

I remained mute, fearing any word about her would open old wounds.

"You can tell me anything," he said.

"She didn't just die. She was murdered. That's all you need to know." I stood, not caring whether the guards were around. I'd take my chances out there over the danger of exposing myself to Abel.

"What? Tobias, I'm so sorry."

"See your mom and sister, or don't, but we're heading back in a few minutes."

"Tobias! Wait up." Abel shuffled behind me, and I didn't have the balls to look him in the eyes.

I was an asshole. But that was a hundred times better than being weak.

I watched Abel and Maddy from a distance. Being this far from him served two purposes: to return the favor by being the lookout for him while he visited his sister, and to clear my head. Abel thought I'd abandoned his father. I'd let him think that. "Everything we touch crashes and burns. Are you sure you're willing to bring them into our world?" El Jefe once asked me. I missed that old grump. He was our leader who died protecting us. He was the father I never had. I didn't have a lot of regrets in life, but not being able to tell him how much he meant to me was up there. I'd never been great with words and emotions, but I could've tried. "You're free now, my friend. We won't let your sacrifice be in vain. The Firm will answer for what they've done."

Remembering the pics on my phone, I quickly fired a text to Zero with the pictures from the barn. Hey, Zero! Any clue what these are? After sending the message, my thumb hovered over an unnamed folder. The guilt came in droves. It'd been a while since I allowed myself to peer into my past life. Reliving those memories was unproductive. I fought the urge and focused my attention on Abel instead.

Where are you, Oliver, and why did you leave your family here alone? I knew my best friend, and I had a hard time believing he'd leave them here without a good reason. There was only one reason why he wouldn't call or return. Fuck! I was cursed to never have anyone in my life. No family. No friends. A killer taking up space in the world.

Maddy whispered something to her brother, her lips hidden behind her hand. They both glanced in my direction. Abel mouthed, "No," while shaking his head repeatedly.

It was time to go. After ten minutes, I whistled to get Abel's attention. He seemed to have caught the hint and jogged back up the small hill to where I sat.

Maddy waved goodbye to me. I waved back.