Twenty-Two Abel

Did last night happen or was it all in my head? I knew it was real—I had the marks on my body to prove it—and it'd been the best experience I'd ever had.

Tobias got off on being dominant, and I was all for it. I'd play the submissive part if that meant having another chance to be with him. I couldn't wait to see him again. Having him around lessened the bite of being trapped in the cult. When was the last time a morning held such promise?

It was fifteen past seven o'clock in the morning and the guards weren't around. They didn't even go through their usual intimidation this morning. What is that about? It couldn't be from the fire last night, could it? In all the time I'd spent in the North Compound, the guards had never missed their morning routine of terror.

"How are the guys?" Seven nudged my side, bringing me out of my stupor. We were lined up in the gym, waiting for the guards and our trainers to arrive.

The rest of the guys' attention was on me. I could feel their stares even without looking. "We're still on," I whispered, because the guards hated it when we spoke to each other during workouts and training.

"Good. I'm glad," Seven said. "We didn't hear you come back last night." His tone was laced with curiosity.

"Yeah, y'all were out." Thank goodness for that or I never would have had the best sex of my life. Well, I probably couldn't call what happened sex when it was one-sided and the other participant didn't want to be touched.

"So when are we breaking out of here?" Two whispered.

"In a month. I plan to sneak out one more time to get the exact date," I answered. "I need to ask you something—"

"Here they are," Two said, interrupting my question.

I stood straight and faced the door. I'd ask them about getting Tobias involved later when we were alone.

Our murmurs halted when two of the trainers walked inside the gym. "Where's Tobias?" Seven hissed.

I answered with a shrug, attempting to hide the disappointment in my expression. He hadn't joined us for breakfast earlier either. My brain told me that I needed to forget about last night and focus on the bigger picture, but my heart had a mind of its own, placing Tobias up front and center in my thoughts.

Pacing across the matted gym floor, my dismay lingered. Why wasn't Tobias here? He'd promised to help me get ready for something. I still didn't know what for, but I was hoping to see him. There was so much about him I wanted to know. My heart broke when he told me about his wife. I wondered what happened to her. When did she die? That explained why the version of Tobias who showed up in The Creed was a different man from what I remembered. He was never a ray of sunshine, but he wasn't cold and miserable as he was now. In my recollection of him, he'd always kept to himself, but the walls he had up these days were so high, no one could climb them.

"Hey, you!" one of the trainers called.

My eyes shot to him, watching his mouth move, but I couldn't understand what he was saying.

"Pay attention!" he barked, pointing at Two and me. He cocked his head, appearing to expect a response. "Are you deaf?"

"Huh?" I asked, feeling lost because I hadn't been paying attention. Had he been mumbling the whole time? My mind scrambled to catch up, grasping at pieces of conversation that slipped through my fingers like grains of sand.

"We got this," Two said, giving me a reassuring smile.

The guard posing as a trainer snarled but moved on to Seven's group.

"Are you okay?" Two asked. "You seem distracted."

"Yeah, just a long night." I wasn't lying. "What did he want?"

"He wants us to spar." Two handed me a pair of black gloves while he held two matching pads. He slid them on his hands and raised them up. "We'll switch places afterward."

As we grunted through our drills, a familiar scent, distinct and reassuring, encircled my space. I knew that scent. Excitement ignited within me; with a hopeful smile, I turned.

I wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted me. Tobias was wearing a black baseball cap, a tight white T-shirt, and dark gray sweatpants. His black facial hair framed his square jaw, and he was staring at me like he wanted to swallow me whole. The dark circles around his eyes were noticeable even under the shades of his cap. I wondered if he'd spent the rest of the night reliving our hot encounter like I had.

Tobias stood in front of me, a silent yet powerful presence among the flurry of activity around us. My smile stretched, hoping to induce one of his own.

Nothing. "Let's get going. We have to work on your form," he said, and walked toward the corner of the room near the punching bags.

I was reduced to watching him strut. His ass flexed with each step. My cock perked up when my thoughts wandered to the night before. Dear Lord, please give me all the courage to complete today's training without popping a boner.

"Now." He snapped his fingers then pointed to the punching bag.

I followed his lead. Something was off. Tobias was a lot quieter—and he was already a man of very few words. He seemed distant, avoiding any physical contact between us. Did I repulse him? Was he disgusted about what we'd done? I'd take him angry, but disgusted? No fucking way.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked. Tobias glared at me; I ignored his fury. "Are you fucking disgusted at what we did?" I whispered through gritted teeth.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

I glanced around to make sure we were still out of earshot. "Last night."

He closed the distance between us, his face inches from mine. "Listen to me," he ordered. "There's nothing about last night I regret. I don't do shit that I don't like."

So he liked it? "Then what's up?"

Tobias blew out a breath of exasperation. "Fuck!" He rubbed his face with his veiny hands. "I need to get you and your family out of here, Abel." He turned his back from the rest of the guys, pretending to guide me to the punching bag. "The sooner the better."

"I told you, not yet." I couldn't leave now that the plan was in motion.

"You don't understand." Tobias turned my waist toward the bag. His steamy breath fanned my ears. His hands traveled to my side, and I trembled. His touch never failed to turn me on. "This is a lot bigger than you and me and your buddies," he continued. "This is serious."

"Make me understand, then. Tell me what you know." I glanced over my shoulder to face him, and my lips brushed his. My world stopped revolving for a second and the center of my universe was him and his red lips.

Tobias staggered back, stunned. He balled his fist and, for a second, I thought he was going to punch me. He gasped a lungful of air before speaking. "Not here. Too risky."

"What the fuck isn't?"

Our training continued. Like the previous session, Tobias proved to be a master when it came to combat. Minutes turned into hours. My heart tugged with a silent plea urging Tobias to share what was eating him. A seed of doubt began to take root in my mind. Questions lingered, casting uncertainty about our escape. "Are we safe?" I asked finally. Did Orcus know what we were up to? Did Tobias know? That couldn't be possible. I stared at him, awaiting his response.

"No," he said, and I couldn't wait to know more. I trusted Tobias. If he said this wasn't the right place and time, then I should believe him.

"Fuck," I muttered.

"But I will never let anything happen to you." Tobias turned his baseball cap backward, so I could finally look him in his eyes. "Ever. Do you hear me?"

His words warmed my heart. They were nice to hear, but he couldn't possibly promise to keep me out of harm's way, because I was already in danger. Tobias didn't know who he was up against. This was Orcus.

At a loss for words, I said, "Okay."

One of the guards blew his whistle—the signal that our session was over. We would run laps outside next and I hated that Tobias wouldn't be around.

"I'll come see you. Same time," he said.

My heart fluttered. "I'll be waiting."

"Good work today. You're getting there." Tobias tapped my stomach before strutting away.

My pride swelled. I couldn't help but stand a little taller, basking in the glow of his praise. Maybe having him in our corner would improve our chances of succeeding. I made a mental note to ask the guys later.

***

Three Years Ago

The summer sun bore down on the small backyard of the trailer home assigned to our family. I was sixteen and had been forced to look after my younger sister, Maddy—Dad was gone and Mom was a shell of the vibrant woman she used to be. Maddy and I had decided to turn an old drum container into a dipping pool to get relief from the August heat. Our laughter echoed around the rows of manufactured homes similar to ours. But despite the joyous time together, my glances kept returning to our mother, who was sitting in a worn rocking chair. Her eyes were distant and unfocused. Her spirit came and went. There were brief moments when she was present and would interact with us, but most days were like today.

My heart wished for the times when our mother would join Maddy and me, her laughter making us feel at home. Those moments had become an all-but-forgotten past. Her decline had been gradual. It started with her lack of enthusiasm, which ultimately led to most of her days spent in bed. Her condition worsened after Dad left. We tried to get Orcus to take Mom to a hospital outside of our compound, but he sent the local medicine man instead. He didn't do shit to help her. All he did was send a collection of multicolored pills with a guard who watched her take them.

Dad used to say the pills made her worse. He was right.

"Abel." Maddy nudged my hand, her questioning eyes watching Mom. "Will Mom ever get better?" She often sought my reassurance in a world that seemed to offer none.

I mustered a smile I didn't quite feel. "Yes, absolutely," I lied. "Let me go get us some food." I jogged to the table where I left the snacks I'd prepared for us and grabbed two slices of watermelon for Maddy and me. "Mmm. Delicious, right?"

Maddy nodded with a smile, melon juice dribbling down her chin. "Very sweet."

A loud knock at the front door cracked the air like a gunshot. I wanted to ignore it, but I knew they'd find us back here. They always did. You couldn't hide around this place. "I'll be back in a sec," I said and hurried inside.

"Hurry, okay?" she called from behind me.

I waved my hand to assure her. Being cooped up in the compound had done a number on her mental state as well. She was easily anxious. I didn't have to look back at her to know that she was probably biting her fingernails.

My heart dropped when I opened the creaking door. Two guards stood on the porch. What were they doing here? They were just here yesterday for Mom's pills. "May I help you?" I asked, my voice trembling. I heard about Orcus taking guys away when they turned eighteen, but they couldn't be here for me yet, I was only sixteen.

"You need to come with us," the taller guard said.

"Go where?" I asked.

"Now! No more questions," he insisted.

I tried to shut the door, but the man pushed it open before I had a chance to close it. He grabbed my elbow and dragged me outside.

"You can't take me. My mom is sick and my sister is by herself," I pleaded. I reached for the doorframe, gripping it with all my strength. I winced when my palm hit a protruding nail, but I didn't care. Blood dripped down my fingers to the floor. "She can't be by herself. Mom is ill." This wasn't happening. I was too young. "Please let me go."

Maddy must've heard the commotion because she ran after us. "Why are you hurting him? Let him go!" she screamed, clinging to my body, tears streaming down her face. "Don't take my brother!"

My heart shattered at the sight of her pain. What has become of our family?

"I'm gonna be fine. Just a small cut." I was trembling inside, but I needed to be strong for her. "It's okay, Maddy. I'll be back," I promised, balling my hand into a fist to stop it from bleeding.

"No." Her hold on me tightened, as if she was sinking and I was her buoy.

"It's okay. Everything's gonna be all right." My promises were empty, but I'd do anything to protect my sister.

***

I sat on the bathroom floor, waiting for Tobias to arrive, flooded by memories of that summer. That day never failed to bring tears to my eyes. It was Orcus's plan to take me away that afternoon. He said that I was big for my age and could handle being in the camp. Mom had one of her good days a couple of days later and begged for my release. I didn't think they would listen to her, but, after she met with Orcus personally, I was allowed to come home. It was one of the last good memories I had with my mom. Everything went downhill from there.

I stared at the scar on my palm. I wondered what our lives would've been like if my parents had never met Orcus. We didn't have a lot of money, but we were happy. We'd go to the beach and spend a whole day chasing waves. My parents loved each other; I believed it with every fiber of my being. The only time I witnessed them fighting was because of money. "This could be our way out," Mom had told Dad one time. And two days later, we packed our lives into our old station wagon and drove from California to Wyoming.

Soft footsteps approached, so I wiped the tears off my face.

"Why are you crying?" Tobias asked. His long legs reached me in milliseconds. He held my face, fury on his expression. "Did someone hurt you?"

"I'm fine," I said. This was fucking embarrassing.

"What's going on, then?" Tobias's jaw clenched; his brows were drawn together.

"I said I'm fine," I insisted. "I just remembered something."

He forced me to face him. "Look at me. Tell me what's going on."

I sighed. "I fucking hate it here. It's suffocating." My hand found its way to my neck, fingers clenching slightly as I struggled to convey the weight of my words. "I wish we didn't come here, Tobias. Our lives are shit because of this place." The rage I felt for Orcus and this cult replaced my sadness and hopelessness. "I wanna hate my parents for bringing us here. I wish I could scream at them, but I can't do that because Dad is gone and I don't know if he's alive." My voice choked up. "And Mom is sick and staying here is making her condition worse." More tears formed, and I let them fall down my face, not caring whether Tobias thought of me as weak.

Tobias's features softened, taking me by surprise. He looked like the man I met on his wedding day. Kind. Compassionate. His presence made me release all the pent-up emotions I'd buried deep inside.

"Sometimes I can't breathe from all the pressure to be strong all the time. I had to put on a happy face so Maddy could have an ounce of stability in her life. I had to smile when all I wanted to do was cry and feel sorry for myself."

Tobias pulled me into his arms, his tight embrace grounding me.

"I want a normal life so I can matter," I whispered against his shirt.

"Then let's get the fuck outta here."

As much as I would love to run away with him, I had obligations.