Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two

D awson ignored his phone while he finished up the last of his work for the day. If he could just get this last order submitted, he could be done for tonight. Done for the weekend—except his small animal chores every morning and evening. Just done.

But his phone was blowing up, and when it chimed five times right on top of each other, he growled and reached for it. Duke, Zona, April, and Shiloh had all texted, and Dawson's first thought was, "Daddy."

His father had passed away. Or he'd fallen while trying to do something around the house that Duke, Dawson, and Brandon had all told him to stop doing.

He got to his feet, his heart pounding in his chest and neck and throat. Duke had just texted, so Dawson tapped there. His brother had messaged several times, each one about…Caroline .

Dawson quickly put the pieces together, and his brow furrowed. "She's at the house already?" He checked the time, and she was a whole hour early.

Zona had texted about her early arrival, as had April and Shiloh. It was a little odd, because Caroline didn't miss details like this. And Dawson hurried to leave his barn-office, despite the fact that he hadn't put in the last order for the fertilizer he needed.

By the time he arrived at his brother's, he realized he hadn't gone home to shower. He hadn't changed. He wasn't ready for dinner with his girlfriend and his brother's family.

He got out of the truck frustrated and irritated, and he went right up to the front door and inside, calling, "I'm here."

No one responded to him, and Dawson's boots practically echoed in the empty house. "Hello?" He hadn't texted anyone back, because he'd run out of his office so fast and come straight here. It had to have been maybe five minutes since the flurry of texts had come in.

"Where the devil are they?" Evidence of dinner prep sat on the counter, but Zona didn't stand there at the cutting board. He looked toward the back door, and sure enough, his sister-in-law came inside.

"There you are," Zona said, pure relief in her voice. She quickly brought the door closed behind her. "Caroline's here. "

"I gathered as much from the five thousand texts," he said dryly.

"The kids are entertaining her now. April's got her feeding the rabbits, and Duke's got the grill going a little early."

"I don't know why she's early," Dawson said. "I told her six-thirty, and she's always got her details together."

"She said she wanted to meet us." Zona picked up her knife and kept cutting up the zucchini.

"Meet you?"

The door opened again, and Shiloh came inside with April and Caroline. "Momma, it's too hot outside. We're coming in."

"Fine," Zona said, clearly stressed.

"Caroline," Dawson said, and she seemed to see him finally.

"Oh, hey." She beamed at him, but something stormed inside him. She scanned him down to his dirty work boots and back to his face. "You didn't go home and change."

"You're super early," he said, unable to keep the irritation out of his voice. Everyone heard it, and the smile slipped from Caroline's face. She glanced over to April and then Zona.

Dawson didn't want to be here right now. "Can we talk outside?" He turned and headed for the front door without waiting for her to answer. Mercifully, she came with him, and another miracle occurred that Duke and Zona's house faced east, so the western sun blazed in the back while the front porch was bathed in shade.

He sat down on the bench, though he felt like pacing like a caged tiger. Caroline perched beside him, and he wasn't even sure why he was annoyed.

"I got the dress for the wedding," she said.

"Great." He took a breath, held it, and let it all go. "Why did you come so early?"

"I was just pacing at home," she said. "I figured I'd just come up and meet them. I mean, I've met them before, but yeah."

He nodded, but a sting burned through him. "Did it occur to you that I'd maybe like to introduce you around to everyone?"

"I—no."

"No." Of course not. Dawson looked out across Duke's front lawn, past the dirt road that ran in front of it, and into the pretty, growing fields he'd put in himself. "Why did you come so early?" he asked again, because he thought he knew the real answer—and he didn't like it.

"I—I—well, I thought it would be nice to meet them—I mean, I've met them—get to know them by…myself."

And there it was. Dawson's insides felt like someone had injected some substance into his gut that was rapidly turning everything to liquid. So many things entered his mind, but Dawson didn't know if he should say any of them .

Caroline would , he thought, and that got him to look over to the woman he'd been steadily falling for.

"Not everything is about you," he said.

"I know that."

"I wasn't finished with my work for today." He flipped his gross, sweaty shirt. "I didn't have a chance to go home and shower. Zona and Duke aren't ready for us to be here."

Caroline nodded in a tight, controlled way, and that meant Dawson didn't have to say more. "I just thought they might like to get to know me…outside of you."

"And that's what I don't understand," he said, his frustration rising like steam from a boiling pot of water. "I'm okay being me, and I love how you're you. Have I ever asked you to be someone different than who you are right now? This minute?"

She shook her head and swiped at her eyes.

Be gentle.

The words came into his head, and Dawson took a breath, trying to find the voice that could be gentle. He didn't know how to conjure that, but he'd had plenty of conversations with April that hadn't driven her away.

"Caroline, sweetheart, I'd like to be me with you , because I think we would be amazing."

She laced her fingers through his. "We are."

"See, I don't think there's a ‘we' for you. I'm starting to think you can't be part of us . Part of a ‘we' at all." He wasn't sure if he was making sense. There were so many small words in his head, making big thoughts and big sentences.

"Which I'm not really sure I understand, and my heart hurts so much at the thought of not having you and not being us. But you seem to have an idea of what you want, and I love that you absolutely know who you are."

He exhaled, because he hadn't planned to have this conversation. There was no way a man could ever plan to have a talk like this. No sticky note could prepare him for it. Caroline didn't jump right in and defend herself or refute anything he'd said, which only made his heart wail even more.

"I guess I've been foolishly hoping you'd make room for me in your life," he said.

"Dawson, baby, I have."

"Room for you to be you, of course," he kept going. "But I guess a version of you…with me. An us . A we . Something. I don't know, and I'm going to stop talking now." He did just that, and again, Caroline didn't jump to fill the silence with any explanations.

A couple of minutes passed, and Dawson detected the scent of something cooking inside. He groaned as he got to his feet, and pure humiliation filled him. "I'm going to go shower," he said in a near whisper. "I'm sure Ruffin would love it if you'd come sit on the couch with him."

She sniffed and got to her feet, nodded, and went ahead of him down the steps. Dawson didn't know what to do next, but he did need to shower, and he really only needed five more minutes in his barn-office.

So he let Caroline get in her car and pull out of Duke's driveway ahead of him. She turned to go down the road toward the rest of ranch, and he assumed she'd go to his house as he'd suggested. He returned to his office and finished the order that needed placing, and then he approached his cabin.

Brandon's truck wasn't there, and Dawson's brain was so buzzy that he couldn't quite remember where his brother had gone tonight. Inside, he found Dumpling and Ruffin both on the couch with Caroline, and his girlfriend studying something on her phone.

She didn't look like she'd been crying, but she barely looked up when he entered. "Hey," she said, and oh, that tone reminded him of their first meal together at the diner. The one where he'd attached himself to her just to get a table, and they'd barely spoken three sentences to each other.

Dawson sighed, regretting the words he'd spoken in the past half-hour. He walked over to the couch and collapsed onto it, and then twisted so he could lay his head in her lap. "I love seeing you when I come in from the ranch," he whispered. "I love that my pets love you, and I adore that you're willing to come up here and have dinner with my nosy brother and sister-in-law and all their kids."

Caroline breathed out, and it seemed like all the tension in her body went with it. She set his cowboy hat aside and ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and simply basked in the zinging, tingling touch of her.

"I love coming up to this ranch," she whispered back. "I love your dog and even this cat that won't touch grass, and I adore that you weren't afraid to speak your mind with me."

"I'm afraid I broke us," he said.

"No," she said. "I needed to hear it."

"I'm sorry."

She covered his mouth, and he opened his eyes and looked up at her. "Don't you dare apologize to me," she hissed. "You did nothing wrong. I'm the one who, well, everything you said was right. I'm the one who hasn't made room for us."

"You have six more months," he said, a smile lifting his heart and his lips.

Caroline blinked at him. "Six more months?"

"Our first date was absolutely on New Year's Day," he said.

Her mouth flickered into a smile that only lasted for a heartbeat. "Then I have seven more months to figure things out."

Dawson laughed and sat up, the blood rushing to his head in a way that made it swim. He sobered though Caroline giggled and smiled with him. She did the same, and the moment between them felt powerful and meaningful, and Dawson simply opened his mouth and said, "I'm going to be in love with you way before those seven months are up, my sweet Caroline."

Her eyes filled with tears, and she closed them and shook her head. "No darling?"

Dawson slid closer to her and touched his mouth to hers. He didn't correct his pet name for her, because his kiss hopefully said it all. She was his sweet Caroline and his darling, and Dawson may or may not already be in love with her.