35. Adrianna

35

ADRIANNA

“ S top making me laugh,” I grumble, staring up at the canopy in a mixture of despair and delight. I shouldn’t be enjoying myself while it feels like the kingdom is falling apart, but here I am, giggling along with the pair of them like doom isn’t lurking around every corner.

“I can’t help it if I have an excellent sense of humor,” Janie states, giving me a pointed look, and I offer her a one finger salute, which sets the pair of them off laughing again. I can’t even remember what I first chuckled at, but I haven’t been able to stop. “Besides, you need to let off a little steam and we’re here to be of service,” she adds, bowing like a fool, and I throw my pillow at her, completely missing as she jumps out of the way at the last second.

“I shouldn’t be laughing when there’s so much pain in the kingdom,” I reply, sadness seeping its way back in, and Flora claps her hands, forcing my eyes to hers.

“No, I’m not having it. You are not sinking under the pressure, Addi. This is just a scoop of positivity, a reminder of what things will be like when the threat is no longer so imminent. I also refuse for my best friend to walk around with a stick up her ass, grumbling and grouching at every damn thing.” She gives me a pointed look, and I know I deserve it, but there’s no way I’ve been walking around with a stick up my ass. I’m about to protest when she shakes her head. “I know there isn’t a stick up your ass yet , I’m just making sure there isn’t one at all,” she clarifies, and I sigh.

I really should be grateful. As always, she puts effort into everything. Even if it is some scattered blankets and cushions on the floor of a tent to create a “cozy vibe.” She shows up for me, time and time again—they both do—but it doesn’t make feeling joy any easier.

Why am I surrounded by so many people who think they’re so wise and wonderful? It’s awful. I need worse taste in friends.

My cell phone vibrates on the floor beside me, forcing a sigh from my lips as I pull my attention from the topic at hand and see who it is. My heart warms at the sight of Cassian’s name; a message from my wolf in our group chat.

Cassian: I hear my girl is coming home tomorrow. I’m stealing her, this is your advance notice.

I shake my head at his ability to be such a sweet asshole when another message comes through.

Raiden: You can fuck off. Don’t even bother leaving the Kenner compound. You’re not invited.

Brody: That’s a bit harsh.

Raiden: Please. Harsh is being on this damn tour with so much pressure around us that we haven’t even seen Adrianna ourselves. This isn’t a vacation; it’s a disaster. Cass stole her before we left, so he can fuck off if he thinks he’s doing it when we get back.

I hate that it’s true. We’re all passing ships, sailing on the same course with slightly different obstacles in our way at each turn.

Kryll: I agree with the vamp. I mean, don’t hole yourself up on the compound, but you’re not stealing her.

Cassian: You’re all assholes.

Brody: Thanks!

Cassian: I’ll be there for your return.

Brody: She knows, I can see she’s reading the messages, but she’s doing that thing where she doesn’t respond. LOVE US, ADDI. Send us a message to confirm I’m your favorite!

Raiden: Now she’s never going to text.

Addi: You’re all insane.

I can’t deny the grin on my lips. Once again, despite the strain we’re under, they find a way to keep me grounded.

Brody: Ha! That counts, motherfuckers! I’m her favorite.

Cassian: No.

Kryll: Raiden texted after you. It doesn’t count!

Brody: Yes, it does! Dagger, please confirm?!

I swipe out of the chat before I have to deal with any more of their mischief, and when I turn my attention back to the girls, I find them staring at me with grins spread across their cheeks as they watch me.

“Do we even want to know what they were saying to make you smile like that?” Janie teases, and I shake my head.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you do. I know the feeling that’s vibrating through your body right now. I get it every time Jake messages me, even more so if it’s a picture or joke at Cassian’s expense. They’re the best,” she snickers, crossing her legs.

“That’s cruel.”

“It’s good for his ego,” she insists, and I grin. “What about your boyfriend?” She continues, directing her question to Flora, who frowns.

“Boyfriend?”

“Arlo,” Janie says before reaching for a bag of chips Flora managed to find, while the girl in question splutters.

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“He’s not?” Janie’s nose crinkles in confusion, looking to me for guidance, but I shake my head. That’s not my drama to delve into. If Flora wants to explain, she will.

“He’s technically my stepbrother.” She reaches for a bottle of water, gulping it down to avoid eye contact with Janie, who shrugs at the information.

“Fuck him being your stepbrother or just fuck your stepbrother,” Janie says with a snicker, amusing herself. “That man looks at you with a mixture of hearts in his eyes and a stiff cock in his pants. I would be all over that.”

Flora’s cheeks turn pink.

“Stop, Janie. You’re embarrassing her,” I breathe, completely agreeing with her assessment, but I don’t want to encourage making Flora uncomfortable, even if that’s not Janie’s intention.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t my?—”

“No, it’s okay. There are a lot of jumbled feelings, and I wish I was as confident as you to embrace it all like that,” Flora murmurs, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Honestly, the history I have with my husband is insane. How we survived, I’ll never know, but it has taught me to never take it for granted. If it’s worth fighting for, my advice will always be to go for it. You never know what’s around the corner, and it’s better to love as fiercely as possible than to let anyone or anything get in your way. Even if that person is yourself.”

I blink at Janie, intrigued by the story she’s alluding to, but again, if she doesn’t want to share, I’m not going to push for it. Either way, those are some strong words of wisdom, coming from a deep place, and even though they weren’t aimed at me, I still take them in and allow them to settle somewhere deep in my chest.

“Thanks, Janie. Maybe one day I will,” Flora mutters, a soft smile on her lips before she turns her attention to me. “Maybe when we get back to the castle we can plan a night to do this again, but with Nora here too,” she offers, redirecting the conversation as far away from herself as possible, and I take the hint.

A shiver runs down my spine as I shake my head. “Please, she’s going to be the death of me. I don’t need her listening to Janie talk about stiff cocks,” I retort, earning a round of giggles.

“Has she considered her wolf yet?” Janie asks, sending ice through my veins as I freeze, blinking at her a few times as I process her words.

Fuck.

My tongue is lead in my mouth, my brain spinning uncontrollably as my chest tightens. “I haven’t discussed it with her,” I admit, shame and guilt flooding my senses as I press my lips into a thin line.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Flora asks, concern crinkling the corner of her eyes, and I sigh.

“I’m always so caught up in how things are affecting me, I forget they can have an impact on her too. That makes me a terrible sister.”

“No it doesn’t. You’re the freaking queen of an entire kingdom, which you practically have to rebuild from the ground up, I might add. She’s going to understand. Besides, it’s her life, her journey to take, she doesn’t need you guiding every step she takes,” Flora insists, her tone soothing, but I frown at the last part of her comment.

“She needs all of the guiding,” I insist, and Janie shakes her head.

“No she doesn’t. Just because no one guided you through certain things doesn’t mean you have to make up for it with her. She’s her own person. She’s going to make her own mistakes and she’s going to figure out her own happiness. If she doesn’t find those things by herself, it will be superficial, and we all deserve better than that,” Janie adds, providing more words of wisdom that my overwhelmed brain struggles to comprehend.

“Why would I give her the opportunity to get hurt? Nobody wants that.” My lips purse as I try to understand.

“For sure nobody wants that, but she’s never going to grow in life without the downs to balance the ups, Addi,” Janie adds, and I scoff.

“We’re going to have to agree to disagree. I can’t even fathom the thought of someone hurting her and me just standing by to let it happen.”

“That wouldn’t be the case, silly,” Flora says with a soft sigh. “Of course you’re going to cause mayhem in the aftermath of it, even try to prevent it, but she’s eventually going to need a little freedom.”

Her words hit me square in the chest. There’s a part of me that understands, almost agrees, but I can’t comprehend it right now. The kingdom is in tatters, and with all the dangers lurking around every corner, her safety has to be my priority over her happiness.

But maybe that’s what I need to focus on. That’s what Nora deserves. Maybe, if I survive this turmoil, I can offer her that. I can find her freedom.