CHAPTER 10 JOLENE

I blow out a breath.

He didn't stand up to his father, but I didn't expect him to.

Either way, that phone ringing was the healthy dose of reality we both needed. We shouldn't be doing this.

Sure, the lust is still ever-present between us. How can it not be? Have you seen this guy?

He's basically walking sex on a stick.

But just because he has that gorgeous light brown hair and just because he has those beautiful dark eyes that hold an air of mystery when they pin me to my place and just because he has that scruff on his jawline that screams of masculinity doesn't mean we should risk so much just to explore it.

We shouldn't.

I know that. I know better.

I'm already issuing excuses in my brain to justify the kiss. I'm worried about Jonah. It was merely a distraction. He defended me after that man tried to assault me.

It's all silly excuses when the truth of the matter is that I kissed him because I wanted to kiss him. It felt right and natural.

I never wanted it to end.

But just like all good things, it had to end, and I'm not sure I can think of anyone better to instigate the end than his father…the same man who was the reason for our end the first time around.

He called me the enemy. He told Lincoln not to be stupid.

It was a good reminder for me, too.

I'd be risking so much more than just my father's anger if we got involved and word got out. Sure, it would be a betrayal to my family.

But one of the reasons I wanted this job was to prove women have a place reporting on men's sports. If I got caught in a compromising position with the head coach of the team I'm reporting on, it would add further fuel to the fire that people already are thinking anyway—that the only reason I got this job was because I slept with the right person to get there, or maybe that the only reason I'm keeping it is because I'm sleeping with the coach.

It"s more than just the wrong man at the wrong time.

Everything about us is wrong, and it would serve me well to stay the hell away from him.

"Do, uh…are you—"

I glance up at the sound of his voice, surprised he's stuttering to find his words.

He clears his throat. "Would you like to get some dinner?"

I shake my head and offer a tight smile. "I'll just order something in. You go ahead."

He presses his lips together and nods. "That kiss—" He stops short, and I take the moment to speak before he gets the chance to.

"It was a mistake. We don't need to dissect it." I turn my attention to my phone to figure out where I can order dinner from even though I feel his gaze on me, and eventually he gives up.

He heads out the door without another word, and regret fills my chest. We were so close to giving in to more than kissing. I was, anyway. I was ready to start rediscovering each other.

But all it took was one phone call to snap me right back to reality.

I order dinner, and when I see it'll be at least an hour before it gets here, I hop in the shower to get the airplane funk off me then slide into my pajamas—a shorts and shirt set that's not very sexy, but I didn't pack thinking I'd need anything sexy.

I don't.

I need zero sexy things.

My phone starts to ring, and I spot Sam's name.

"How's Jonah?" I answer.

"I'm fine, Mom. We're on our way home and Sam made me call you."

I laugh. "Thanks, Sam!" I yell, knowing she can hear me just like I could hear every word Eddie Nash said to his son a short while ago.

"Welcome!" she yells back from the driver's seat.

"Are you sure I shouldn't come home? I can take you out for ice cream…" I'm scrambling to figure out what bribe I can deliver that will work with him.

"Sam already promised ice cream, and no, Mom. I know this is a big deal for your job, and there's nothing you can do anyway."

"What kind of cast did you get?" I ask.

"It's Minecraft green." He says it proudly, and I can't help my giggle.

"Of course it is. I'm proud of you for being so brave." I want to ask if it hurts, but I also don't want to know. Poor kid. My heart breaks that so many miles separate us, but at the same time…he sounds fine. "I hate not being there with you, honey." I look up at the ceiling as the threat of tears pinches behind my eyes. I know he can't see me, but I don't want to break down over the phone when I need to be strong for him.

"I know, Mom. I love you."

"I love you more. I'll call you before I go to bed, okay? Video this time so I can see your arm."

"Okay. Bye." He hangs up, and I set my phone beside me on the bed as I let a few tears tip over.

My dinner arrives, and I eat in the room as I wonder where Lincoln went and whether he's with some other woman since clearly this isn't going to work between the two of us.

I wonder if he'll come back at all tonight or if he'll just sleep over at her place.

The thought claws at my very soul.

It's masochistic and I'm not sure why I'm thinking that way at all. But just because he is the only one I want to be with doesn't mean that works the same in reverse.

We didn't talk about who is sleeping where, but there's nowhere for either of us to go aside from the bed or the floor.

So after I'm done eating, I take some sleep medicine, call Jonah, slip onto one side of the bed, turn on trashy reality television, and fall asleep before he even gets back.