CHAPTER 8 LINCOLN

I pace around the locker room for a beat, and then I stop and look around the room. We haven't had to cut to our fifty-three man roster yet, so the room is crowded for today's team practice.

And I'm addressing every single person in this room right now.

Maybe I should've waited for Ellie's statement to come through so I hit the right talking points, but this is my team. They deserve to hear what I have to say—unfiltered.

"You may have seen the allegations that I'm cheating on my girlfriend, and I want to start by saying that I will not allow this to take our focus off the field. I will address it once in here with you, I will make a public statement this evening, and then we move on. I will always play and coach this game with integrity and honesty first and foremost. Always."

I glance at my brother.

I know what he did, and I haven't told anyone.

Is that honesty? Is that integrity?

"My personal life is personal," I continue, "and the truth is I was taking a friend to media events and implying that it was more to throw the shade off the person I've really been seeing. We felt that given my position as head coach and hers in the media, it was in our best interest to keep our relationship a secret. This doesn't affect the way she will report on the team, and further, it doesn't have anything to do with how I coach this game. I will not be taking questions, but I wanted to share this with you in hopes that you understand how I will not ever allow my name to be associated with cheating in any form. Now get your asses out on that field and start running. We'll be starting with suicide drills today. We're working on speed and agility. Go."

I did it without specifically naming her name, but there was enough evidence—the photos posted this morning would be exhibit A on that front—that they can draw their own conclusions.

I hear grumbles as they head out to the field, and I draw in a deep breath as I move to follow them out when I spot Jack Dalton sitting toward the back of the room. I didn't even know he was in here since he was hidden behind the players who were standing, and I can't help but wonder if he heard my speech to the players.

"Suicides seem like a punishment for your sins," he says, and maybe I'm in a bad mood and that's why I'm putting my players through their least favorite drill. Well, for most of them. It's Jaxon Bryant's favorite drill because he's the fastest guy on our team and he always finishes first, something that feeds the competitor in him.

"Maybe they are," I mutter.

"Can I ask you a question?"

I press my lips together and raise my brows expectantly.

"You mentioned honesty in your address just now. Is what you've been doing really all that honest?" he asks.

A tingle runs down my spine at the insinuation. Does he know about Asher?

"You've been taking Sam to events for months, lying to everyone by omission and making us all think she's your girlfriend while you've been secretly courting Ms. Bailey." He shrugs. "Would've been nice to have been in on the truth there. That's all I'm saying."

"We agreed we couldn't tell anyone."

"I get that. But you had ample opportunity for honesty," he points out.

"I did. And I chose to keep my private life private."

"I'm in your corner, Nash. I realize I'm your boss, but I know how hard it is to come into a new city as a leader and feel alone." He says the words pointedly, and I think to when he was traded here. He took over for Brandon Fletcher, who assumed he'd be starting, and he was on a team with his brother, who he didn't really get along with at the time. Jack Dalton is one of the all-time greats, and you look at him and assume he's got friends surrounding him at all times. But even a guy like him felt lonely stepping onto a new team, and it's actually quite helpful to remember that.

"Thanks, boss," I say. "Then you should probably know Jolene and I stem back two decades. We were best friends growing up, and our fathers were, too. We were in love until the day my father took her father out at practice, and they moved and I was forced to end things with her. She didn't want me hired as head coach, and then we ended up in the same hotel room in Ohio, and we…reconnected."

Jack barks out a laugh followed by a smirk. "Reconnected, huh? Sounds like fun. I think I could use a little reconnection with my wife this weekend."

I laugh, but the laughter fades as I'm reminded of the position in which I find myself. "Her family hates me because I broke her heart. They hate my father because he took her father out of the game. My family hates her because my father assumed she'd ruin my future. They hate her family because her father drained my father of his life savings when the bar they owned together went downhill. It's a grudge two decades old, and I'm not sure how we mend all that. That is why we had to keep it a secret, but then this asshole at VG-oh-three had her followed and published these photos, and now they're everywhere." I throw up my hands. "But it doesn't matter. Like I said, my focus is on that field. I will not waver on that."

He nods as he folds his hands in his lap. "All right then. Keep it there. Stay honest on the field, put the best players in the best positions, and win some fucking games. That's all I can ask for."

"I will," I vow, and I nod a goodbye as I head outside to join my players on the practice field.

But now that this secret came out, how long before my brother's secret is out, too?

And then an even scarier thought floats into my mind.

Will my father use what he knows as a way to keep me from Jolene?

He did it once before. I have the sinking feeling he'd do it again in a heartbeat.