18. Ellie

ellie

. . .

I went straight to Winnie’s office and shut the door behind me. The moment she looked up from her desk, I burst into tears.

“Oh, honey,” she said, coming over and giving me a hug. “What is it?”

“I’m pregnant!” I wailed.

She laughed a little, rubbing my back. “I know, babe. I know.”

“I told Gianni last night.”

“ Oh . I saw him this morning, but he didn’t say anything. He did seem a little distracted though. How did it go?”

“It was rough.” I went for the box of tissues on her desk. “We argued about whose fault it was.”

“Of course you did.”

“I got angry because he kept saying ‘This can’t be right.’ Like he wasn’t listening or didn’t believe me.” I blew my nose. “So I picked a fight. I threw things at him.”

“Did it make you feel better?”

“No. It just reminded me how we bring out the worst in each other.”

Winnie sat on the edge of her desk. “So then what?”

“We had sex.”

Her jaw dropped. “You did what?”

“You heard me. We had hot, angry sex on the kitchen counter.” I closed my eyes. “I’m so stupid. I thought it would get him out of my system, give me closure or something.”

“Did it?”

“No! It made everything worse!”

Winnie dropped into her chair. “I’ve got whiplash trying to keep up here. So are you. ..together? Friends? Enemies?”

“I don’t know what we are. Not together. Not enemies. Maybe friends.” I shrugged. “He’s trying to be nice. He proposed.”

Her eyes popped. “Wait. He proposed ?”

“No, actually, he didn’t. He just said something like, ‘Should we get married?’ And the look on his face told me exactly how he felt about that possibility—sick to his stomach.”

“Okay, but he had to be in a serious state of shock.”

“He also offered to try to get out of the Hot Mess contract.”

“He did?” She smiled tentatively. “That’s a good sign.”

“I told him to go do the show,” I said. “I want him to go. He has to go.”

Winnie stared at me. “Why?”

“Because I need to get over him, Winnie.” As I confessed the truth, the tears started up again, and I yanked another tissue from the box. “I need him to go away so these feelings can fade. I’m sure it’s just pregnancy hormones on top of the memory of those orgasms, but in ten weeks, I’ll feel like myself again. Poof.”

“Poof?” Winnie shook her head. “I’m not sure that’s how hormones or feelings work, Ell.”

“But you know what they say—out of sight, out of mind.”

“They also say absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

I blew my nose. “You’re not helping. Is this retaliation for making you sing karaoke at Christmas?”

“No,” Winnie said with a shudder, “although that was horrific.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side.”

She jumped out of her chair, came around the desk and shook me gently by the shoulders. “I am, Ellie. You’re my best friend in the entire world, and I love you like crazy. I just think you might be wrong about him.”

“I’m not! You know what he did just now in the kitchen? He asked me to go with him.”

Winnie’s eyes went wide, and she dropped her arms. “To California?”

“Yes. But when I asked him why he wanted me to come with him, he said, ‘Because you’re pregnant. And I feel bad leaving.’ Not ‘Because I want to be with you.’”

“Okay, but men don’t always know the exact right answer,” she said carefully. “Maybe he does want to be with you, but he was scared to say it. Or he doesn’t know how to say it.”

“No.” I shook my head. “What he wants is to do the right thing, because he feels guilty, and I get it. But I don’t need his pity proposal or his charity outing to California. I’d rather be alone.”

“Are you sure?” Winnie pressed gently.

“I’m one hundred percent sure.”

Winnie sighed. “God, you are so strong. I’d have been like ‘Yes! Take me with you! Ride me off into your Hollywood sunset!’”

“I’ve done enough riding.” I blew my nose again. “At this point, I need to keep my feet on the ground. And my knees closed !”

Someone knocked on Winnie’s office door, and I met her eyes with alarm. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this.

“Yes?” she called out. “Who is it?”

“It’s Felicity!”

Winnie looked to me for permission, and I nodded. “Come in!” she called.

Felicity pushed the door open, talking excitedly. “Hey! Guess who texted me this morning!” She stopped when she saw me. “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s okay,” I said, grabbing another tissue.

“Is—is everything all right?” Felicity looked back and forth between her sister and me with concern.

“Yes,” Winnie said, her tone overly bright, her cheeks turning pink. The poor thing was an awful liar. “Everything is fine. Totally fine.”

“It’s okay, Win.” I looked at Felicity. “Please keep this between us, but I’m pregnant.”

Felicity’s brown eyes grew huge behind her glasses. “Oh my God. Wow.”

“It’s very early, and I haven’t told my parents yet.”

“I won’t say a word. Are you okay?”

“Yes and no.” I managed a smile. “I’m still getting used to the idea. I just told the father last night.”

She bit her lip. “I hope this isn’t out of line to ask, but is it Gianni?”

Winnie and I exchanged a surprised glance. “Yes, but how did you know?” I asked.

“Just a hunch.” Her shoulders rose. “He’s been training me, and he’s an excellent teacher, but he seems distracted a lot. And I’ve noticed him sneaking looks at you from across the kitchen. I wondered if something was going on with you guys.” She smiled. “A secret love affair?”

“No secret love affair,” I told her. “Just a baby.”

“Really?” She looked genuinely surprised.

“Really. We, um, passed the time during the blizzard by accidentally procreating. It was just a one-time thing...or so we thought.”

“Oh.” Understanding dawned, and she pushed her glasses up her nose. “Well, is it okay to say congratulations?”

I laughed in spite of everything, tossing my hands up. “I guess?”

“Then congratulations.” She came forward and gave me a hug. “If it helps, I think you’re going to be a great mom. And if the relationship Gianni has with his father is any indication, he’ll be a great dad.”

“We’ll see,” I said. “But I appreciate the well wishes. So who texted you this morning?”

“What? Oh!” She shook her head and laughed. “Your news is much more exciting than mine, but it was Hutton French.”

Winnie gasped and fanned her face. “Ooooh, the old flame still burns!”

Felicity rolled her eyes. “Please. There was no flame. There wasn’t even a spark. And even if there was, neither of us would have known what to do with it back then.”

“Wait, how do I know the name Hutton French?” I racked my brain. “Is he an actor?”

“No, he’s a billionaire,” Winnie said. “He’s one of those cryptocurrency guys.”

“I don’t even know what that means,” I confessed.

“Does anyone?” Felicity laughed as she tightened her ponytail. “I once asked him, and less than ten seconds into the explanation, it was like he was speaking another language.”

“How do you know him?” I asked.

“We were best friends in high school. We co-captained the Mathletes Team and co-founded the Chemistry Club. We also tutored together at the middle school.”

“Clearly, they went to all the cool parties,” Winnie joked.

“We did not go to many parties,” Felicity said with a laugh. “Hutton had pretty bad social anxiety back then. But we did go to the senior prom together—just as friends.”

“And now he’s a billionaire,” I said, glad for a distraction. “Sheesh. I can’t even wrap my brain around that. Isn’t he young to have made so much money already?”

“He’s twenty-eight,” said Felicity. “We graduated together, but I was a year younger because I’d skipped a grade.”

“Stop bragging about that already.” Winnie poked her sister’s shoulder and grinned. “We all know you’re the smart sister.”

Felicity slapped Winnie’s hand away. “Anyway, he’s home visiting his parents and reached out to me. I wondered if there was any way we could get him into Etoile? He’s here all week.”

“I’m sure we can. Let me check the reservations for this week and get back to you.” I thought for a moment. “Tomorrow night might be the best bet.”

“When was the last time you saw him, Lissy?” Winnie asked.

“Gosh, maybe five years ago? He lives on the West Coast, but he came through Chicago on business and we met up for dinner.” She laughed. “Which was particularly memorable because I got one of my bloody noses at the table, and we spent the second half of the evening in the emergency room.”

“Oh no,” Winnie moaned, but she was laughing too. “Your bloody noses are the worst.”

“It was pretty horrible,” Felicity confirmed. “The white tablecloth looked like a crime scene.”

“Would you like the night off so you can eat with him?” I asked her. “I’m sure Gianni can manage without you.”

“No, that’s okay.” She shook her head and laughed ruefully. “He probably has PTSD from our last dinner. He never asked me to meet up again.”

“Let me know if you change your mind,” I said. “Etoile’s dining room is very romantic.”

“Thanks, but I’m sure Hutton has his pick of models, actresses, and lady billionaires,” said Felicity. “I’ve seen the women he’s photographed with online—they’re nothing like me. We’re just friends.”

“That’s what I thought about Gianni too,” I said with a sigh. “Then there was a blizzard. And now there’s a baby.”

She laughed. “I’ll remember that.”