20. Irrational Fears and Night-Blooming Roses

CHAPTER 20

Irrational Fears and Night-Blooming Roses

Brynleigh

Tell me, Captain, what's your most irrational fear?

S tretched out on his hotel bed, Ryker smiled at his phone. He held it above his head, his fingers flying over the screen as he typed out his reply. He was tired, but it was a good kind of exhaustion. It had taken them far too fucking long, but finally, with the dragons' help, they'd uncovered some actionable intelligence.

Ryker had spent most of the day tracking leads with his team. It was after midnight, but he couldn't sleep. He'd texted Brynleigh an hour ago, and she'd replied immediately.

Ryker

Who says I have an irrational fear?

Three dots instantly appeared.

Everyone is afraid of something.

True.

The problem was that Ryker knew fear on an intimate level. He was afraid of many things, and none of his fears were irrational. At least, not to him.

There were so many, sometimes he was worried he would drown in them.

He was afraid that even with daily training, River's power would grow too strong, and she'd lose control again. He was afraid he and Brynleigh wouldn't be able to fix what was broken between them. He was afraid his father would die and leave them alone, with Tertia as their only parent.

But more than all those combined, Ryker was afraid that even if he followed all the rules and regulations, he would fail his family.

Those fears weren't irrational or ridiculous. They were real, and they kept him awake at night. When he did finally sleep, they fueled his nightmares.

That was too much to put into a single text, though. Too raw.

Why don't you go first?

He wasn't sure she'd answer. Gnawing on his bottom lip, a habit he'd picked up from River, he stared at the dim screen. Several minutes passed before those three dots appeared.

*snake emoji*

I fucking hate snakes. Big ones, small ones, they're all horrible, slippery little devils.

Ryker snorted and rolled onto his side. He was wearing loose gray sweatpants, and his chest was bare. The southern heat made all clothes nearly unbearable. Stretching out his arm above his head, he typed with one hand.

I never would've pegged you for having a fear of serpents, sweetheart. Is that your biggest fear?

He pressed send before he even realized what he'd done. He'd just been so caught up in the moment, so relaxed, that the nickname had slipped from his fingers.

And now…

Now, it was gone. Two blue checkmarks showed the message as read, but she didn't respond.

Ryker's heart pounded, and he stared at the phone. Dread pooled in his stomach. What was she thinking? Had he just ruined everything?

Minutes ticked on, each longer than the last.

Three dots appeared.

They disappeared.

They appeared again.

Gone.

The cycle continued, and a ball of nerves came to life in Ryker's stomach. He'd never been glued to his phone before, not understanding the way River and her friends seemed to be texting day and night, but now…

Now he got it.

Ryker would stare at this phone for hours if it meant he'd see the message the moment Brynleigh replied.

Finally, a new text popped up.

My biggest fear—the one that haunts me far more than snakes, storms, and spiders—is that you'll never forgive me. I'm afraid that we'll never get back to what we had. I'm so sorry, Ryker. I should have come clean before the wedding. Maybe if I had, we could've figured something out together. I don't want us to be broken, and I'm afraid it's too late. I'm afraid that nothing can fix us, and I hate that more than anything else.

By the time Ryker got to the end of the message, he couldn't breathe. He pressed the green call button, and she picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?" she said breathlessly.

Fuck.

Hearing her voice after days apart was like the coolest drink of water on a hot, dry day. It soothed a hurt in him that he hadn't even known existed.

"I'm fucking sorry, too, sweetheart." Now that Ryker had called her that, he couldn't stop. "You never should've been in the Pit. I should've paid more attention to what they were doing. I should've stopped it. I'm so sorry that happened to you."

His grief over her betrayal had blinded him, but he saw things clearly now.

"It's not your fault," she replied. "Not really. You were just reacting. I don't blame you for being upset."

Gods, he hadn't realized how much he needed to hear that until now.

Ryker exhaled. His eyes slipped shut as his head fell against the wall. "I miss you. So gods-damn much."

She drew in a deep breath, and the sound made his heart stir. There was something incredibly familiar about talking like this, and for the first time since their wedding night, a deep sense of peace filled his heart.

"I miss you too, Ry." That name. It sent shivers down his spine. For so long, he thought he'd never hear it again. "When do you think you're coming home?"

Hearing Brynleigh call his apartment home warmed his heart. "Tomorrow, hopefully. We finally got a lead."

"I'm glad. Maybe when you get back…" Her voice trailed off.

"Yes?" he prodded.

No matter what she was about to ask him, he'd agree.

There was another pause, and then she blurted, "Maybe when you get back, we could play chess?"

A smile stretched across his face. "I'd love that more than you know."

"Me too," she whispered. "Do you have a few minutes to chat?"

"I have all the time in the world for you." What was sleep when they were finally talking and building a bridge over the divide separating them?

And so, they talked. Brynleigh described the sunrise she'd watched earlier, and he told her more about the dragons. She was fascinated and asked a dozen questions, which only stopped when a yawn slipped from Ryker's mouth despite his best efforts to hold it in.

"Go to sleep, Ry," she murmured. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Brynleigh," he replied, wishing he could stay awake forever and continue talking to her. "Sweet dreams."

Night-blooming roses perfumed the air, the floral scent nearly overwhelming in its intensity. There was something else beyond the flowers. Something deep and crisp and entirely… right .

Ryker's soul sang at the fragment, and his magic hummed a quiet, honeyed melody in his veins.

He sighed contentedly. He could stay here forever.

"Ryker?"

That voice. That sweet, sweet voice. Even if he went centuries without hearing it, he'd recognize it immediately.

He opened his eyes, unsurprised to find Brynleigh stretched out beside him. After all, this was his dream, and he couldn't stop thinking about her. Even after everything that had happened between them, she still haunted him, waking and sleeping.

"Hey, sweetheart," he murmured, reaching for her.

They were in his apartment, his navy sheets covering their nakedness as they lay together. Golden waves tumbled over her shoulder, and her red lips were parted, showing off her fangs.

By the Black Sands, his wife was beautiful.

He'd never met anyone as stunning as her. She was a brilliant moon shining in the night sky after a month of darkness. A flower blooming amid frigid snow. She was everything he'd ever wanted without even knowing he was missing something.

Ryker brushed his knuckles down Brynleigh's cheek, delighting in the responding shiver that ran through her. His cock hardened, straining for her. Unable to help himself, he leaned in, cupped her cheek, and kissed her.

The moment their mouths fused, everything in his world righted itself. His mind cleared like he'd been living in a fog, but now it was gone.

This was where he belonged. With her. Always.

"More, Ry," Brynleigh moaned against his lips.

Had so sweet a sound ever been spoken before this moment?

He thought not.

Brynleigh's lips parted, and he slipped his tongue into her mouth. She let him in willingly, and he tasted her.

He groaned.

It wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

She moaned, rolling on top of him as their tongues battled for dominance. He was as hard as steel, pure need burning through him.

The sheet slipped, unveiling her beautiful body. Her pale skin glowed in the moonlight as she straddled him, the heat from her core pressing against his length.

"I want you," she pleaded against his lips. Her fingers trailed down his chest, every touch sending fire blazing through him. "I never stopped wanting you."

Those words were fucking everything.

He reared up, claiming her lips in a searing kiss. At the same time, he gripped her hips and lifted her.

Brynleigh gasped into his mouth, a moan running through her as he lowered her onto his hardened shaft. He tried to take his time, but he needed her so badly. Restraint tightened his muscles, and he groaned as she took him to the hilt.

Fuck. This was everything he ever wanted.

When they came together, nothing else mattered. Nothing that had happened in the past could ruin them; nothing could break them. He wouldn't allow it.

Brynleigh's movements were languid, as though she was desperate to stretch the moment out for as long as possible.

He reached for her, pulling her mouth to his. He needed to taste her again. She was like ambrosia of the gods, and he was a mortal eager for the smallest sample.

Each caress was deeper than the last. Their lips and tongues danced to a tune as old as time itself as their bodies moved together .

Ryker groaned, his fingers digging into Brynleigh's hips as he thrust into her warmth. He didn't have to worry about being rough with her—she could take everything he gave her.

She moaned, throwing her head back and digging her nails into his chest as she rode him, chasing her pleasure. Shadows slipped from her palms, covering them in a black mist.

She was an angel of darkness, and he would happily follow her into a starless night.

Ryker slid his hand between them, finding her clit, and rubbing that sensitive bundle of nerves. She gasped, her movements gaining a frantic edge as she climbed towards her release.

There was nothing sweeter in the world than watching the woman he loved find pleasure with him.

"Come for me," Ryker ordered on a groan.

Brynleigh obeyed beautifully, breaking apart with a cry he was certain could be heard for miles. Her mouth parted, her fangs glimmering in the pearly moonlight. Her walls clenched around him, pulling his release from him with a strangled groan.

"I love you," he panted as soon as he could form words once again, peppering her with kisses. "I promise I'll never stop loving you."