Chapter 39

Chapter

Thirty-Nine

T he Viathan fleet is arriving.

Crixa calls for every elder and high priestess who has been chosen to defend the stones to the temple for ritual. She anoints us with oil and casts a protection prayer over our order.

I run through the motions with my priestess sisters, biting the side of my cheek as Crixa runs sacred oil down my forehead with her fingertips. She whispers ancient words as she does, praying for protection against our foes and reluctant allies.

How am I supposed to stand before her and pretend like she is not responsible for my mother's death, for hundreds of others dating back years?

She is the center of all that is wicked in this place. She infects the way the priestesses of old wanted this order to be, twisting it for her own gain.

I am surprised at my own willpower to keep calm with her so near, to be able to look her in the eye and not give away just how much hate is being pressed down within me. I have to do this for Leema, go along with this charade for just a little longer even though what I thought was the bottom of Crixa's well of cruelty goes even further than I could have ever known.

We walk in a tight line through the Estate in silence, torches burning high to light our way. The moment we step out into the courtyard, my eyes are blurred by the darkness, desperate to adjust.

The sun should be in the midst of a radiant sunrise, but the light is only a tiny sliver fighting to illuminate our world, no brighter than a room with a single candle and just as eerie.

The slow, tolling bell and ripping wind are a constant backdrop as we cut across the courtyard in formation.

I follow my priestess order in front of me, staying close. We have been instructed to cast our eyes down, to not look above at the Viathan ship as it lands, of the great number of commanders that will spill forth from it. But I cannot stop myself from looking out into the massive space where another Viathan ship will land as we enter the Estate's landing dock.

Estate guards stand impossibly straight, holding torches along the walls that touch the Estate building, stopping halfway, a clear boundary of where we end and the Viathans begin.

The lord general, 99, and the rest of the commanders who have been stationed here since the coup stand on the other side of the giant courtyard.

99 looks more Viathan than I have ever seen him, almost unrecognizable.

Crixa wordlessly points with a long, spindly finger where we are to stand, filing us in and keeping us in tight rows on our side of the dusty landing dock. Her navy temple robe kicks out in a swish as she studies our formation.

I stand a few rows back from the front, and the collective energy surges and weaves itself through us, feeding the priestesses next, ahead, and behind one another.

Crixa passes in front of us, looking across the open space where 99 and the lord general stand.

Then with an ominous groan, the angry sky churns and growls like a rumbling monster overhead.

I cast my gaze upward into the black space above, where an inky shadow as large as a building parts the few clouds and slowly descends into Cosima's domain.

Purple lightning rips across the Viathan ship in a violent crackle.

The wind in the courtyard ebbs unnaturally, making my ears pop from the sudden pressure change.

I hold my breath and follow the ship with my eyes as it hovers over the ground, holding my veil close to my body to stop the onslaught of fabric whipping across my vision.

Never could I have dreamed of this, of seeing a ship the size of five temples landing within the Estate. This seems more akin to a story from our history, when war ravaged us.

I did not know when I originally took my vows that I would ever have to follow through with the ones that seemed like empty, traditional words, ones that did not pertain to modern day. I thought I would spend my life in service to the temple, maintaining its books. I did not see past ascension. First Son was a far-off problem, and if we were devout and good, we would never have to face him, never have to fight against his army.

The ship lands with a dusty plume spreading upward and an unnerving moan as it settles.

Lord General and 99 walk to the front of it as the door opens, greeting the second wave of commanders who have come to defend the stones.

As the ramp presses into the ground, dark figures begin to emerge from the belly of the ship, commanders walking in synchronized steps, holding guns and spilling out like they will never stop.

They divide on either side of 99 and the lord general, splitting into two groups and walking toward us.

We watch in silence as hundreds fill the space, marching out of the bowels of the ship until the last row descends the ramp.

Some of the priestesses next to me shift on their feet uncomfortably. They know the Viathans are necessary to defend the stones, but it does not take away from how intimidating our allies look when they stand on our soil, outnumbering us so greatly.

Lord General and 99 look over their fleet for a long moment and then turn to Crixa and bow their heads as if waiting for her.

She turns to us with open hands at her sides, her chin held high, beholding her priestess order.

"First Son, most wicked, hear our voices!" Crixa shouts with such force, it can be heard over the bell tolling, the wind, and the ship's engine humming behind her. "Know that our power was given to us by your mother, she who has chosen her divine daughters to sustain her temple. Priestesses of the order, you have taken vows to protect the stones with your lives. Do you lay them down in service?"

"Yes, Highest!" some shout back to her, but I merely whisper the words, hoping they are lost on the wind.

"Do you gladly, ecstatically wield your gifts to take down the most wicked?"

"Yes, Highest!"

"Then priestesses of the order, of First Mother, who worship in the temple as First Mother intended, hear me! Remove your veils! Harness your divinity so that we may fight First Son unencumbered like the priestesses of old!"

She holds her hands out, signaling for us to complete the ceremony.

I feel the high priestess next to me begin unpinning her veil before Crixa has even finished.

Crixa then raises her arms up to the sky. "Priestesses, high and elder, remove your veils so you may fight unencumbered. Defend your sisters, your lesser priestesses, your divine mothers, your second mothers, your temple, and the stones! Forgive us, First Mother! We will shed blood in your name against your First Son. We will suffer to protect the three worlds. If you see fit and if we fight well, allow us to serve you for all of our days! Priestesses of the order of First Mother, I command you to remove your veils and pray we will be anointed by their burden again!"

One by one, the priestesses around me remove their veils, grey fabric dancing up in the windy sky above, taken away on the breeze into the darkness. I pull at mine, loosening the pins that kept it in place so tightly, and with a forceful tug, the silky fabric brushes across my face and joins the others blown away in the gust.

Crixa looks proud, her eyes wide as she looks upon her selected congregation that will fight for the Estate, her ferocious energy surging through us.

I stand with my priestess sisters, empowered, ready to defend the stones if needed. I finally wear grey to show my gifts, how strong they are, how many I have. Leema said I have everything I have ever wanted, but it is under false pretenses. I have not ascended in the way of the priestess order. I have blasphemed, wavered in my faith, and retaken my vows without meaning.

I do not know who I am or what I truly believe anymore. I pretended to have no faith in order to retrieve stones and faked wanting forgiveness in order to save my sister. I can no longer tell the difference between who I am and what I must do.

I felt myself rip apart when my light manifested fully, and now I am being pulled and broken like the stones, two different worlds cracking me apart. Should I be standing somewhere in the middle between Crixa and the Viathans, not truly assimilating to their world and never fully fitting into this one?

"Commanders!" A booming voice captures my attention across the courtyard, and every Viathan stands straighter, pulling their legs and guns closer, at attention. The lord general has removed his helmet to address the entire fleet. "You have given yourselves in protection of the three worlds! You have taken an oath to uphold the peace and the safety of the stones by any means." The lord general pounds on his shoulder where the emblem of the three worlds is etched into his armor.

"Commanders!" 99's voice sends a chill up my spine, my skin responding to its timbre from across the courtyard. "Who do you fight for?"

The commanders each cross their armored chests with the guns they hold so tightly and pound onto the plates of their shoulders. 99 does the same, encouraging them in a steady rhythm.

"Who do you serve?" His powerful voice carries across the vast space.

The sounds of all of their fists crashing into their own armor makes some of the priestesses jump.

"Who do you pledge your life to?"

Another clashing of metal rings out, the echo swallowed by the wind, but with it, I notice a flood of amber affection washing over me so hard and fast that I sway in place. And when I am able to look around the taller high priestess in front of me, I can see 99's helmet fixed in my direction. I can not tell if he sees me or just senses my nearness through our tether. I want to send him love in return, but with Crixa so close and all the other vibrations of divinity around me, I do not want to risk testing my ward.

The lord general and 99 walk down the middle aisle toward Crixa, but she does not move to meet them. The entire courtyard waits as they speak to each other, too low to discern the words.

99's chiseled frame is turned to the side, the insignia on his shoulder of the three worlds in dancing conjunction polished in its satin sheen.

But something catches my eye just under the armor plate, as if it were tucked away. I keep my eyes on it, the only thing I can focus on as they speak.

When 99 turns slightly, I can finally see what he has placed there, the object that was never there before.

My fern hair pin is nestled just under the symbol for his world, his vows, and rank. The insignia denotes he has made an oath to protect our worlds, but the fern pin symbolizes his allegiance to me.

This is what he wanted me to witness when he told me to look for him, a secret, intimate display among the Viathan fleet and priestess order just for me.

As he shouted to the crowd and enticed the fleet to be proud of the symbol of their oaths, pounding on it to show who they serve and pledge their lives to, he was swearing on the symbol of me as well.

It does not take long for the bell tower to call us to service after we finish our ceremony with the Viathan fleet. I walk briskly toward the Estate temple, unveiled priestess sisters joining me from every direction to attend the service. They smile and look so hopeful, some even chatting brightly to each other as I weave past them, pulled toward my destination.

If I could run to Leema without causing a scene, I would.

My hearing muffles out everything but my own panting breaths and swish of my gown, and my vision tunnels until I reach the Estate temple wing.

I enter and take a seat in the high priestesses' section, the temple a flurry of activity even as the bell dies down for the service to begin.

The women from the Temple of Divine Mothers are in their usual spots, white dresses and large bellies on display, but today they do not take up an entire row.

I search each face, looking for Leema's. If I can give her a meaningful look, it will calm my nerves enough to get through this service until we are alone and I can tell her we are leaving.

I scan the row again.

But she is not here.

My light threatens to come out of my pores in tiny pinpricks as I look around the rest of the temple, hoping she is sitting somewhere else.

I rise out of the pew and shuffle past the few priestesses who mutter rude remarks while I bump into them to get back into the aisle.

Why is she not here with her temple?

I exit past the few priestesses who trickle in late as the doors are about to be shut.

Thea walks up to me with a concerned look and grabs my hands. "Ferren, I was hoping to speak with you. I'm so sorry for my behavior the other day. I was not myself."

"Where is Leema? Have you seen her?" I interrupt, not caring about anything else.

"No—"

"Only half of her temple is here." My eyes dart around wildly, still searching.

"Oh, I did hear that one of the mothers was going into labor early from all the stress, an awful thing," she says and realizes just how concerning that sounds.

"Is it Leema?"

"Some of them must have stayed behind to help. Maybe she . . . Are you alright?"

I search her face, the confusion and concern written there. I hold her forearms, trembling so violently I could fall over if she tells me anything else.

Without thinking, I run into the entrance of the temple as the Estate guards begin to shut the doors, holding out a hand for them to pause.

My eyes dance around the temple, not for Leema this time but for Crixa.

The air is stolen from my body when an elder priestess takes Crixa's place to start the service.

Crixa is not in attendance.

My sister is missing.

I know without a doubt they are both in the Temple of Divine Mothers.