Chapter 33

Chapter

Thirty-Three

A nother round of commanders comes to replace the ones who left to take the woman away. They bring technology with them, data pads and strange equipment.

99 briefs Emperor Matthias on their plan to move forward and where the prisoner is now. He gestures to the strange box left over from the attack and introduces a commander who crouches down next to it. Everyone but the Viathans look nervous as he presses some buttons on the side.

It activates with blinking lights, taking the shape of a transparent glass cube below the metal square.

The commander types into a data pad and explains the intention of its use, that anything placed in the box will be destroyed. When he is met with confused looks by Crixa and the emperor, he then places a handgun into the cube-like chamber, and with a puff of smoke and flash of light, the gun is broken down into dust.

The realization spreads across the room that the intent of this person was to place the stones inside, destroying them.

My gut churns when I catch a few people glancing my way, knowing I was the one to stop it from happening, as if I had planned to help and was not thrust into the situation.

When they are done, I am questioned several more times by Crixa, who pulls me to the side and actively listens to me recount what happened, then again when Emperor Matthias asks almost the exact same questions.

"You have served your temple well, High Priestess. Retrieving the stones and now protecting them. We are truly blessed that you returned. Had you not been praying . . ." Emperor Matthias glances at Crixa. "The thought of the fanatic being successful because we have not been diligent enough . . . We need Viathans at the temple entrance temporarily, Highest Priestess."

Crixa looks like she will finally revert to her hostile self, gawking over at the group of commanders who scan the remaining weapons and technology the intruder left behind.

"It is unheard of. Even now, First Mother weeps with Viathans in her domain." She sighs and glances back at me. "I will have high priestesses stationed here as well, elders who are still fit. The Viathans remain outside the entrance, just like our own guardsmen."

The emperor nods as if he could not have the final say.

Crixa pulls me toward the exit of the temple, wrapping her arms around me as if I need her to hold me up. "The three worlds are fortunate you were here praying when you were. Your ascension gifts are strong. Lord Hollis spoke of difficulty in holding them."

My face blanches at the sound of his name. "They are unrefined. First Mother came to my aid, worked through me. I could not have done that alone."

A lie.

She presses her mind to mine, lowering her thick, mucus-like ward and calling me in.

"I get such head pain. I never like to use it," I answer her beckoning call aloud, lying once again to her prying, snaky branches testing me.

She hums and nods. "I want you to know that I am hard on you because I know the kind of priestess you can be. You just need direction, and your atonement period is working. As for your daily duties, we will put them on hold under the current circumstances. You have proven you are willing to protect the stones. I do see your restored devotion, Ferren."

"I am grateful that I was given an opportunity to show it." I sound ridiculous but still know exactly how she expects to be spoken too.

"I would like to know the full scope of these unrefined gifts and see them put to good use until the conjunction is over. You may train with your high priestess sisters in the west courtyard."

"Thank you, Highest Priestess. I am honored."

"I hope this newfound obedience does not fade away with my leniency."

"My bouts of disobedience never served me well, Highest."

"I will have your guards escort you back to your chambers." She dismisses me with a tight smile.

I want so badly to stay, to wait and watch 99, but she urges me toward the doors. My two Estate guards fall in line behind me in an almost laughable protective formation.

The moment I get to my chambers, I slam the door, locking it quickly behind me. Even in the stillness of my room, I am pulled in too many directions, too many things happening at once.

I have so successfully tricked the people here that I am back to the way I was. Even now, the lines are becoming blurred. The thought of losing myself to this place is terrifying. I can feel the weaker, damaged part of me basking in the joy of Crixa's attention, of being recognized as a powerful temple member.

I rip at the veil pinned in my hair, hoping to snap myself back. I need to focus.

Selene could tell right away I was at risk of getting lost in this place again. Her foresight is more annoying when she is right, but even I underestimated the emotions that would manifest when I assimilated back into the priestess order.

When handmaids knock at my door, they bring buckets to fill my bathtub with steamy water and lay out food. The moment they leave, I climb into the hot water, unpinning my hair and letting it fall around me. The ends of it kiss the surface, looking like black-water plants from Frith.

Calliape will not come until much later in the night, so I stay in the bath until the water is cold and no longer soothes my muscles.

Once dressed and ready for her, I sit on the edge of my bed, waiting for time to pass, too exhausted to replay the day's events and too afraid my body will react to the memories.

A loud knock on my door reminds me there are guards still posted outside, even if they did little for me in the temple. Now, one knocks on my door, failing to announce himself.

I wrap a robe around me to hide that I have changed into another dress and not a nightgown.

But as I open my door, I am met with a group of Viathan commanders instead. 99 stands in front, taking up the entire frame with his shoulders. I step backward, letting him enter.

He is slow and deliberate, shutting the door carefully and locking us in. I sit on the edge of the bed and watch him cross the room to peer into the adjoining one, as if checking if anyone else is present, a habit he cannot break.

"The commanders will stay outside your room. Your Estate guards have been reassigned."

"How is that possible?"

He does not greet me with affection like I had hoped, speaking as if he is updating someone on commander rotation, briefing me on current events.

"I spoke with the emperor. You will have armed commanders posted outside your door. You should be able to move around freely now. More Commanders will be posted in the Estate."

"Alright."

"I recommended a few other temple members to be guarded as well. But you are a target, Ferren. You have been since Frith."

"I think the stones were the target," I say, not appreciating his tone at all.

"This is serious."

"Yes, I know, 99."

His body is stiff as he looks down at me.

"Should you even be in here?" I ask.

"Emperor Matthias is allowing Viathan full use of the Estate. The lord general and the highest priestess are in a meeting now to discuss another incoming attack. As I said, this is serious."

"Another?" I choose to ignore just how harsh his tone is. I know he is panicking.

"The one dressed as a priestess broke. Once her people hear she has failed, they will attack during the last days of the conjunction just like we thought. I believe they sent her in as a test to see how far she could get. She had a device sending back information."

"Oh." It is clear now why he is so scared and acting coldly protective. The last time I came into contact with their technology, it almost cost me my life and 99 still blames himself.

"There is more," he says firmly. "The second fleet is close."

I rub my brow, the words hitting me hard.

"We knew they would deploy," 99 states.

"Yes, I know!" I jump to my feet, my panic and wit's end colliding.

He does not react, not even the slightest movement of his helmet in response to my anger, and that alone calms me. He steps close, placing a flat palm on my chest above my breast, feeling my heart racing.

Now, he is trying his best to calm it in any way he can without the ease of our tether helping us anytime emotions run too high between us like in the past.

I press my hand over his, hoping it passes as an apology.

"I cannot rely on Thea to help me," I confess. "Someone she cared about was killed during the coup, one of my assigned Estate guards. I won't press her."

"One of your guards?"

"Yes. He was kind. She loved him," I say.

He says nothing, only watches me.

"Was there any fighting between Estate guards and Viathans?" I ask, knowing how hostile interactions between the different guards have been since then.

He thinks for a minute. "When we first arrived, they had a hard time distinguishing us at times, as we did with the ones who'd turned. Do you think a Viathan killed this guard?"

"No . . ."

"Because I don't know who I killed, Priestess."

The statement is sobering. He has no idea who he cut down defending the Estate, getting to me, protecting us all with no thought of himself.

And now it is my turn to stare at him without a word. I remove my robe, feeling overheated and slowly fold it. I attempt to latch onto the flurry of emotions running through me. If I could focus on just one of them, maybe I would have something to say.

"The ledgers from school cannot be reached, but what about the library?" he offers, trying to change the subject, reverting to plans and strategy to hide behind his stoicism.

"It will be difficult if not impossible to get to them. They are kept in a locked chamber." I sigh

"Calliape?"

"We could try. But it could have wards around it too."

"I will tell her to meet you here tomorrow. When?"

"Am I not to go to the safe house tonight?"

"We should not move about if there is no reason to, especially after what happened in the temple."

I nod and step back a little, trying to give myself some room to breathe.

He slants his head like a question.

"I am too exhausted to fight you on it," I answer.

"It's getting more dangerous, unnecessarily risky—" He sighs, interrupting himself. "When should I send her?"

"After midday, sometime after the second bells ring. The first of the death rituals begins tomorrow for the fallen temple members." I stare at him, realizing I am confirming that danger he is speaking of.

There is a long, drawn-out silence, one that would be between two strangers, not lovers.

"I saw you with the highest, but I could not hear her words," he finally says.

I nod, not wanting to tell him just how affected I am with my conversation with Crixa, how it made me feel. "She was just questioning me. She knew I used my light."

"I can come back, stay outside your door if you are afraid."

"No, 99," I whisper.

I am not afraid of being attacked, but that I am losing my mind, the poison of this place infecting me, altering how I think, my point of view. That is the greatest danger to me here—my own head—and there is nothing I can do to reach out and ground myself no matter how badly I want to tether to him.

"Did she upset you?" He can tell I am holding back.

"She commanded me to begin training with the elders, the ones who practice in the courtyards."

"I have seen them. She trusts you then?"

"It means she is willing to let me die fighting for my temple," I say, but I know there is a real possibility it is more than that.

"Do not say such things."

"She wants me to serve the temple in this way instead of finishing my period of atonement."

"I do not want you to fight."

"Well, those are my vows, 99!"

He recoils a little, but my defensiveness even scares me.

"My . . ." I stumble over my words. "My original vows were to protect the stones, fight for the temple. It is the reason for our gifts, isn't it?"

"I know that you can use your light, Ferren. That is not what I am saying."

I wish I knew what he was thinking, how he truly felt.

"Tell me what else has happened," he continues.

I should tell him how Crixa being relieved and happy to see me affected my emotions.

"Nothing, I just underestimated this place." It's like lead in my throat to get the words out.

99 takes my hand and brings it up to his chest, physically trying to ground me to him. "Listen to me, Ferren. You are capable whether we are tethered or not. The guards at your door are not because I believe you are weak. They are there because I am. I cannot function unless I know half of our resources are surrounding you."

I press my hand to the side of his helmet, and he slants into it as if my skin is touching his. "I can't do this without our tether. I can feel myself sinking."

He crushes me against him. "Tomorrow, you will get those ledgers with Calliape and we will end this. I love you, Ferren. When we are tethered again, you will see I have thought of little else since we parted."