Chapter 3

As the sun rose the next day, Aymeri watched sleeplessly from her bed. Since Jorlyn left, she hadn't slept a wink. Every noise and every light passing her door made fear course through her veins. At some point, she swore that someone tried to turn her doorknob to enter the room, and it was only when the light faded and footsteps retreated that she breathed a sigh of relief. Now that the sun was up and she could see everyone around her, she felt a little more at ease. Then a knock sounded on her door, making her leap off the bed, stifling a scream.

"Who's there?"

"Jorlyn, Princess. I am here to dress you for the announcement to the people."

Aymeri threw her head back. I thought I told them I didn't want to deliver a speech just yet…

Opening the door, Aymeri gave a huff. "I know what you're going to say: ‘I didn't order this announcement, so why do I have to deliver it?' Right?"

How did she know that? Aymeri wanted to voice her suspicions, but she cleared her head of it. Instead of questioning the woman, she said, "Was I not clear enough when I stated I didn't want to go further until I learned of her last wishes? I have yet to look for the documents."

Jorlyn simply nodded. "Ser Parzival said he will talk to you regarding the matter before you brief the people. He informed me of documents he found in your mother's personal chamber." Jorlyn twirled her finger, andAymeri responded by turning around so she could dress her.

Letting Jorlyn help her, Aymeri breathed a sigh of relief, thankful for Ser Parzival's help in the matter. She had intentions of going through her mother's chambers that morning, but she was thankful she didn't need to put herself through that. She would work with her trusted advisor to handle the rest of her mother's belongings privately.

She knew the queen would not have wanted anyone else rummaging through her private possessions, but she also knew she wouldn't have objected to Ser Parzival. He always had their best interests in mind and would handle secrets and confidential information with care.

"I don't understand why he went through her belongings without you. Did he have your permission to do so?"

She liked that Jorlyn asked, but Ser Parzival was the last one who needed permission from her to do anything. She knew he, like her, was grieving, and needed to find things to do to keep his mind from running over. In the end, he had to maintain composure to help her run the kingdom.

"I'm sure Ser Parzival had a good reason to do it without me. This is a very stressful and emotional time for us, Jorlyn. My mother was like a daughter to him. He helped with every trivial matter. When I was growing up without a father, he helped raise me. There is no one I trust more than him."

There was never a time when she was without the advisor. He was there for anything they needed and he never asked questions. He was kind, intelligent, and wise. Aymeri loved spending time with him.

Jorlyn tightened the laces on the princess' blouse and tied them tight. The last tug removed Aymeri from her thoughts.

"I don't know how I'm going to get through this."

"When my mother died…." Jorlyn's voice wavered, and Aymeri thought she could hear it crack with emotion. "My two eldest brothers, Azhori and Rashet, took over everything. My other brother and I had no say. Father was too distraught to do anything. A few months later, he passed, too. My other brother, Lureo, said it was of a broken heart. That's what romantics say. I know better. Father drank himself to death. Lureo says the alcohol was to numb his broken heart. I say it was so he wouldn't have to deal with reality. But what do I know? I'm not a dreamer."

Aymeri sighed. She now knew what it was like to have lost both parents. But to lose them so close together? "That must have been a difficult time for the four of you."

"I don't know about Azhori and Rashet, but Lureo and I took it hard. Mother and Father were what held us together with their unconditional love, witty banter, stories of war. They were such knowledgeable people, and to have them taken from us much too soon…"

Aymeri sympathized with the pain and tears in her voice. She understood that pain all too well. "I know this isn't any consolation, but it seems your father died on his own terms, of his own poison. He knew the imminent ending. He died without any pain, other than that of his broken heart from losing his wife. He is in immortal peace with his love right now."

Jorlyn nodded. "I really hope you're right, that he really did find Mother." She touched Aymeri's shoulders and turned her around to fasten her skirt at the side. She smoothed it out before draping the matching shawl around her shoulders.

Aymeri smiled and hugged Jorlyn just as she finished tying the string on her cape. "I am quite certain he did."

Jorlyn finished with Aymeri in silence, braiding white daisies into her coal-colored hair that rested on the waist of her skirt. The entire garment was made of the mourning colors: burgundy with black embroidery down the middle. Never did Aymeri think she'd have to wear those colors again. Sighing at herself in the mirror, she took a deep breath.

She had never spoken directly to the people before. Sure, there were many times she was among them, especially in the marketplace. But she never had to speak to them all from the balconyat the same time, like her mother had to do. She always seemed to know what to do, what to say, and how to poise herself the proper way. Aymeri didn't know how to do any of those things.

How can I tell my people that just twenty-four hours ago, I found her mother dead in her private chamber? They all loved her and conversed with her like she was one of them, and now… How will they accept me as their queen?

While she believed in—and would carry on—everything her mother did, she had no idea how to actually run the kingdom as she had. But there she was, at twenty-three, about to make a speech in front of hundreds of people for the first time in her life… and, of course, it was to tell them of her mother's death.

"Aymeri, dear, a word?"

She was relieved to have Ser Parzival by her side. Without him, she feared she'd crumble and say all the wrong things.

"Yes. Of course, Ser Parzival. Jorlyn tells me you have found information about mother's arrangements?"

"Well… yes…and no… " He paused for a brief moment. "Come with me."

Nodding, Aymeri fell in place behind the elderly man. While she followed, she wasn't sure where they were heading. She had never gone to the left after taking a right at the grand staircase because her mother never took her there. She had always assumed that way was probably for the castle workers as many hallways, quarters, and entrances were reserved for them so they could move about freely in crowds. Otherwise, she didn't care which staircases, hallways, and entrances they used. Yet as she walked down the hallway, it didn't seem to be a workers-only wing.

The walls were clad with decades of the family line. Her mother's family's portraits hung on the wall to the right of her. Her father's family's portraits hung to the left, though he didn't have quite as many as her mother had. She recognized the features of some of them instantly, and had even met a few.

Why have I never been down here before?

She asked as much to the man who helped raise her, but his only reply was that there were many places she hadn't seen within the palace. She meant to ask further, but something within her stopped her from doing so as if there was some lock on her voice… on her thoughts…

"Ah, here we are," he stated as they came upon a cherry wood door with a golden, gilded door knob and several locks. He fumbled with all the keys for quite some time before actually opening the door. Upon entering, he said, "This was your father's study. Your mother used it for private meetings, as I suspect you will, too."

Aymeri's eyes grew wide with delight as she started to remember the room they were in. When she was a little girl, she used to visit that room for hours while her father sat and talked with countless people whose faces were all a blur. She would sit in a chair by the fireplace and read the books on the lowest shelves—they were stacked with books just for her—while her father talked and talked. By the time he was finished, she'd fallen asleep on the floor, a book nestled against her chest. While reliving the memories, she gave herself a small walking tour before Ser Parzival cleared his throat.

"I see you are star—"

Aymeri looked at him, quizzically. "Starting to what?"

The old man cleared his throat. "Pardon my words, princess. I meant to say, ‘I see you finally remember.'"

Aymeri slid out one of her favorite books from her childhood—a history book about the ancient lands—and smiled briefly. "I don't know how I could have forgotten. Some of my fondest memories took place here." She put the book back and stood next to her father's desk, imagining how many others might have sat there long before him. As she fingered the well-polished wood, she stated, "Though, I don't remember ever walking the corridor. Nor do I remember ever walking through that door…"

She moved away from the desk and took another tour of the room, then something clicked in her mind. She briefly remembered a staircase behind one of the walls… but which one? Glancing around, she looked for something amiss, but when it didn't come to her, she closed her eyes and tried to picture the last time she had been there.

It was her seventh birthday. Her father woke her early and brought her to the study. She remembered walking out of her room and into the large library. Then, suddenly, it all fell into place. The memory came alive in her mind. In the library was a large portrait of her father and mother, next to which was a candelabra, turned upside down to reveal a hidden passage that led directly to the office. Upon his desk was a stack of books, the likes of which she had never seen before, and a small cake with strawberries atop it. Her stomach growled at the mere smell of it, and it took all of her not to run to the table and devour it.

Moving away from the table, she headed back to the wall furthest behind her and pressed her fingers to the cold paneling. Smiling to herself, she removed the pictures until she revealed a small knob, which turned the door open to the staircase she remembered climbing down as a child. It was a wonder what else was hidden in the cobwebs of her mind.

"Pain has a way of making you forget even the happiest of times, Princess." There was unmistakable sadness in Ser Parzival's voice, but just as she was going to speak, he cut her off and her thoughts stopped flowing, the question on her tongue forgotten.

What was I just about to say?

"Your mother did have things in place," he began, taking a rolled-up piece of paper out of his tunic. "But it seems I had nearly overstepped the boundaries she so thinly laid out, as there are clear instructions upon this parchment which only you are granted permission to read. I'm glad I didn't break the seal as I intended."

Perplexed, Aymeri took the scroll from his hands, relieved that he hadn't opened it to read the contents. She ran her thumb over her mother's seal, a crown with a dagger through it. Will I take on the same seal, or would I be encouraged to design my own? Putting the thought aside, she crossed the room back to her father's table and hesitated a moment before she settled into his seat.

To her, it would always be his seat. She and her mother had only inherited it. Her mother conformed to her father's way, just as she would conform to her mother's. What worked for them, she had no doubt, would also work for her.

She closed her eyes, thinking of everything the letter could possibly be. A lengthy apology for keeping the truth from her? A revelation of a secret? A note naming the culprit? The thoughts spiraled out of control and instantly stopped when Ser Parzival cleared his throat, bringing her back to the present. She gently broke the seal and let the length of the scroll pool in her lap as she read to herself:

My dearest Aymeri,

If you are reading this, it means I have become an angel attached to your shadow. I hope you have not wept too much for me. I have lived a life long enough to love in many ways, though it has been a difficult life. However, your love has made it quite simple and easy. There is only one thing that must be done for your mother to rest in peace: lie me next to my beloved in my wedding clothes. It is up to you to decide on the other arrangements. I only care about meeting your father again and having my daughters and their families in my sights when they are old and withered away. I love you, my girl, and never forget that. Everything I have is yours. Nothing belongs to anyone else. I love you so very much, and I know you will run the kingdom with great love and prosperity, just as your father and I have done for countless years.

Love you truly.

Your Mother.

Aymeri did not miss the word " daughters " as she re-read the letter a second time, then a third, then a fourth. Did Mother forget that her eldest daughter died, or was she hoping to meet her in the afterlife?

Tears fell mercilessly onto her lap. There had been so much death surrounding her family, but this one hit her the hardest. She never knew her sister, and her father passed away when she was so young, she had all but forgotten him. But her mother…their lives were tied together in a way no one would ever understand. She was sure she would never get over the grief.

Why did you take her away from me? She knew it was wrong to be angry with the gods, but nothing else was helping, and she couldn't continue to cry.

"I don't mean to press you, Princess, but if it has you reacting this way…"

Aymeri wiped her eyes of the tears and shook her head as her way of saying he wasn't pressing her. Ser Parzival had been loyal to her mother and she would never forget that, even if she doubted everyone at that very moment. He had a right to know the contents of the letter.

"My mother was a wonderful person, Ser Parzival. To read this… it adds to the fact that she is no longer here with me. Somehow, it is real now, but it wasn't before." Aymeri sighed, her hands shaking as she pressed them together in her lap. "What am I going to tell our people? How can I tell our people? They loved her, I assume, as they love their own family members."

Ser Parzival nodded and leaned forward in his chair, resting his chin on folded hands. "We tell them delicately with as little detail as possible. The other kingdoms have been informed. I thought you wouldn't want to write seven letters saying the same thing, so I took it into my own hands. Many will want to attend her funeral; we will hold it in a week's time. For now, her body is in the crypt, awaiting your orders."

Aymeri wiped the tears from her eyes as Ser Parzival offered her a handkerchief from his pocket. "Mother wants nothing but to be dressed in her wedding attire and placed beside Father."

Ser Parzival nodded. "I will see to it that it is done. And, Princess, I'd like to apologize once again. I have forgotten my queen had an heir. I think of your mother as a daughter, and I saw it as a father's right to go through his daughter's belongings. But I now know it is more your right than it is mine, and will make sure that everyone remembers their place. You are to be their new queen, and it is time they began to understand that."

Aymeri inclined her head to him, grateful that he was standing by her in her time of need. Who was she to stop him from taking on responsibilities when he felt that her mother was his daughter? She would allow him to help in any way he could, and maybe when all was settled, she would tell him what she truly believed happened to her mother.

"Were you eavesdropping earlier, Ser Parzival?" She knew he was. After all, Jorlyn was skeptical about him going through her mother's belongings. She knew he didn't just say the words because he felt that he should let her know. It was evident that he truly felt as if he had overstepped his boundaries.

The older man smiled politely. "It is my job to keep you safe, Princess. After what happened with Queen Ismana, I do not want a repeat. I want to make sure you are well and do not reach your mother's end. She felt the need to keep her pain in. Maybe if we had been more competent, we would've noticed. I will not let you down; you can trust me."

Aymeri nodded her agreement. Though trusting anyone was out of the question for the moment, he wasn't anyone . He had taken care of her mother, the kingdom, her subjects, and Aymeri since her father had passed. There wasn't any way he could be responsible for her mother's death. But as soon as the queen's funeral was over, she was going to figure out who was. Then, she'd exact her revenge.

As she neared the balcony, just outside the throne room, she placed her hand on her stomach, trying to ease the number of butterflies swirling around. But it was to no avail. A swarm of people waited below for her to speak to them. She was sure if she could read their faces, there'd be confusion written all over them.

Taking her place in the middle of the balcony, she held her hand up to silence the cacophony below her, nowhere near ready for the silence that followed. Squaring her shoulders, she gripped onto the balcony and spoke in a strong, carrying tone.

"My people, I stand before you as your princess, but with grave, heartbreaking news. My mother, your queen , quietly passed on in her sleep yesterday morning."

Murmurs throughout the crowd drew her to a pause, but before they could get too loud, she carried on. "I know this may come as a shock to you, but we wanted to keep this matter private. My mother was suffering from a grave illness that could not be cured."

Tears fell from her eyes as she lied to her kingdom. But she needed to protect her secret at all costs. No one needed to know her suspicions surrounding the truth of her mother's death. Not until it was confirmed and the murderer revealed.

"Any questions you have, you may make an appointment to ask. I assure you; I will run Treoles just as my mother did. No changes will be made."

Inclining her head to her people, she wiped her tears and went back into the throne room as composed as she possibly could before she ran back to her room, where she wasted the day, crying bitter tears.