Chapter 2

Aymeri awoke to candlelight and Jorlyn asleep on the chaise on the other side of the room. For a moment, she had trouble recalling the events of the day, but it quickly came rushing back.

Instead of waking her handmaid, she turned silently in her bed, pulled her covers up to her chest, and silently let her tears fall. Nothing in all of her teachings prepared her for life without her mother, a woman who was barely past fifty and seemingly very healthy. Her mind gnawed at her again. Something isn't right.

Her mother never kept any secrets from her. She knew her older sister had died from an incurable disease while her mother was pregnant with Aymeri. She knew her grandfather died long before she was born, and her mother did not spare her the image of decapitation. She even understood her father's death when he suddenly passed away. Her mother revealed to her that he was terminally ill and his heart had given out. She always remembered her mother saying her only regret was that Aymeri found him dead. Why, then, would her mother keep an illness of her own hidden from her? It just couldn't be. And if something—or someone—else is to blame, then what or who? And who can I trust?

No one .

The most obvious suspect was the same person sleeping on her chaise. It made sense. Jorlyn was the first one— the only one —to respond when she called. It was she who spent the most time with Aymeri's mother. Who her mother had hired because of a favor to a friend. It was also Jorlyn who was supposed to close the doors to the throne room behind her. And yet, Aymeri had seen them open.

Did I? Were they really open? Or was it my imagination?

It wouldn't be the first time she imagined things. There were moments when she remembered playing with a young girl not much older than her, probably around the age her sister would have been. Sometimes, she even remembered a boy, ruggedly handsome, even for a young child. But her mother and Ser Parzival assured her those were just dreams or figments of her imagination because life could get so lonely in the castle without children of her own age to speak with. Sometimes, though, she wondered if perhaps they were hiding something from her.

Could there have been secrets that somehow cost Mother her life?

She shook her head. There she was, coming to conclusions again. Her mother didn't have secrets, and it was more than likely that Jorlyn knew something she didn't.

After all, the handmaid had quickly learned everything there was to know about her and her mother. Even the thoughts they didn't verbalize. She was the perfect suspect. The fact that she was the newest addition to the palace staff certainly didn't help matters.

Aymeri stood and walked out onto her balcony to be alone with her thoughts as they swirled around in her head. She paced back and forth, trying to figure it all out.

Jorlyn has to know something, anything, even if she wasn't the one who murdered Mother. She spent as much time with her as I did. Yet if Mother didn't confide in me, would she have confided in Jorlyn?

If the queen didn't even say anything to her own daughter , why would she have said anything to a handmaid ? She threw her head back in frustration, and the anger deep within her started to surface.

Her hands balled into fists at her side, heat creeping up her body. It felt like she was on fire. Holding her hands out, she examined them closely.

What in the world… ?

They appeared as if they were glowing orange as if embers were swirling under her skin, ready to reignite. Slamming her eyes shut, she forced her hands at her sides and took a deep breath. There was no way she could literally be on fire. Magick was long forbidden in Dramolux. Mages, shamans, elementals… all of them ceased to exist. All enchantments and spells were long since banished, burned like the forests that used to bridge Dramolux to the other lands. Magick no longer tainted them. The new gods protected them from it. Or so her father read, and her mother promised on the nights when she would have nightmares about those stories.

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts of the old world. It was not the time to worry about the magick that used to threaten their kingdom. Her only focus had to be on the mysterious circumstances of her mother's death.

Not only did nothing strange happen before the handmaid's arrival, but there was also the mysterious suicide note. Aymeri hadn't seen a note in her mother's hand, though truthfully, in the suffering of the moment, she hadn't been paying attention. Still, there was more than enough time for someone to plant it. And if someone did, who?

And what about the other staff at the palace? How many of them had a hand in this? How many of them knew Mother's routine as well as I did? Not a lot, she supposed, so she had to start with the ones she knew. Aymeri could not afford to be fragile. It was the time to stand tall and pretend she was strong enough to get through the heartbreak.

But you are not strong; you are far from it. Look at your mother's lifeless body. Watch her… remember her. What kind of pain did she go through while you enjoyed your peaceful sleep?

Her heart dropped to her knees as the voice infiltrated her mind. It was feminine and angry. And unlike anything she had experienced before.

Your mother suffered for weeks—months, even—while you marched yourself freely around the castle, doing nothing. Why didn't you see the weariness? Why didn't you see that something plagued her? Why didn't you pay more attention? Why, Aymeri? Why didn't—

Stop! Stop! If I had known…

Tears flooded her eyes. What would I have done if I knew? Would I have been able to prevent anything from happening? Would I have been able to help my mother?

But didn't you know, darling?

Her eyes widened in fright, the tears pausing for just a moment, her heart pausing its beating. Mother…?

Didn't you tell me, Aymeri? The dream you were so afraid of a week ago? Don't you recall?

She buried her face in her hands. Her mother's harsh voice was right, even though she knew it was truly just her conscience berating her, bringing to light all the mistakes she had made.

How could she forget? She had been in a deep sleep when it happened—unable to move or call for help—her indecipherable words the only things to wake her. The dream seemed to mirror the events of today, and yet many events differed. For one, her mother had several bleeding wounds on her body in the dream. Also, she had been wounded in war because. True to the warrior she'd been raised to become, she was at the forefront of the battle.

You told me not to worry. Pacified me for several days with promises I was way in over my head. That we hadn't officially declared war…

Stupid, stupid girl. You were always the stupid one. The sheltered one. Your mother was wrong to keep you from the truths of the kingdom. Wrong to think she had so much time on her hands. There is never enough time.

Aymeri covered her ears as she fell to her knees, heaving, while endless tears poured out of her eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen. Mother should have been protected by heavily guarded men until sunrise. Why didn't I think about that before? How did it slip my mind that when I'd had the dream, she had ordered guards in front of her chamber and—

A hand grasped her shoulder, ripping her from her thoughts. When she saw Jorlyn's face lit by the dim candle light, she sneered. "Don't you dare touch me!" Aymeri spat, jerking her shoulder out of Jorlyn's hand. "Where were you and the guards last night? This morning? You were supposed to be guarding my mother's chamber until you heard me coming down the corridor. Isn't that correct?"

"Well…"

Aymeri stood and turned to face her handmaid. "Well…?" Her eyes burned holes through Jorlyn's face as she folded her arms across her chest, tapping a finger againstthe crook of her arm. "Well? I'm waiting."

"Not exactly…" Jorlyn took a step to the side and walked back into Aymeri's room toward the chaise she'd been sleeping on. Watching her from behind, Aymeri could tell she was wringing her hands. "Honestly, Queen Ismana asked us not to tell you this… I will not disobey her commands."

"My mother is dead! By Rhyon, you will tell me what she said or I will have your head!" Aymeri scoffed at herself for acting so harshly. She had never talked to another being in the very manner she was talking to Jorlyn, nor had she ever taken the god of creation's name in vain before. "I-I'm sorry, Jorlyn. I-I…"

She put up a hand to silence her and turned to her. "Anyone in your position would be speaking the same as you. I can understand your pain, Princess. I, too, have lost a mother… at a younger age than you. In a worse manner than you have lost yours. And still, our grief mirrors one another."

There was no mistaking the tears shining in her eyes nor the breaks and chokes in her words. Aymeri started to shed her own tears again. "Please, I beg of you, tell me what Mother said you shouldn't."

Jorlyn took a deep breath. She seemed to be weighing her options before she finally spoke. "We were not officially ordered to guard the queen's chamber, Princess. She only made us swear it in front of you to make you feel at ease to sleep in your own room again. I am sorry." The handmaid bowed to Aymeri. Something she had never done before, as the queen did not like to belittle her personal staff and nor did the princess.

Closing her eyes, Aymeri wished she hadn't been so stupid. The voice in her head was right; she was a stupid girl. She knew how adamant her mother was, and she hadn't taken her seriously at first. Why, then, did she think her mother would've told her how she truly felt? But on the contrary, wouldn't she? Her mother never hid anything from her before and always told her when she was being foolish or too na?ve. Why did she lie this time?

What else don't I know?

She needed to be alone. To be away from everything and everyone. To think about whether it was all just unfortunate or if something else was truly at play. Maybe she was clouded by grief and wanted so badly to believe that someone hurt her mother, when in truth, she could have run herself into the ground with all the work she had been doing. But for it all to drive her to take her own life? That's what didn't make sense to Aymeri. What was so bad about the life she lived that she felt the need to end it? In finding that, then she would believe. Until then, she was going to continue assuming her mother had been murdered, and that perhaps she was next.

"Thank you for telling me the truth. I know you gave my mother your word, and I apologize for having you break your oath, but she is no longer here. I just need some time alone right now. To gather my thoughts. To give my mother the sendoff she deserves."

Jorlyn gave her a look of concern and sighed. "Are you certain you'll be alright?"

Aymeri nodded. "Other than my mother's untimely demise, is there a reason I wouldn't be?"

Jorlyn smiled at her. "Not at all. I just thought you might want someone to stay around in case you need to talk."

"If I have the need, I know my way around the castle to find you. Thank you for your offer."

"As you wish, Princess. Good night." The woman placed a caring hand on her shoulder before leaving.

Aymeri closed and locked the door behind Jorlyn. While it was a precaution to not end up like her mother, it was also because she didn't want anyone to see her so upset. She wanted to show everyone that she was strong, that she was able to handle her emotions in public, just like her mother had always told her to do.

Never let the outsiders see you cry. Cry on your own if you must. In the bath is even better. No one will recognize tears on a wet face .

So, she did just that. She ran the water until it filled the basin and stepped in, sliding down until all but her head was in the water. She couldn't shake the notion that something was amiss, and she was going to find out exactly what happened.

If Mother lied about guards being on duty, what other secrets did she have?