Chapter 18 - Benedikt

It was easy to get trapped in usual schedules and routines and reach a state of disconnect. I knew that well enough from when I was alone and didn’t have much to strive towards or look forward to. But ever since Gemma came into my life, I decided to make a conscious effort to stop that from happening.

With time going by, as Friday rolled around again, it was easy to see how the two of us were both worn down from the workweek. Gemma was working harder than ever, putting in impressive hours just to meet deadlines and surpass expectations, and while I felt proud of her for adapting, it didn’t take much to realize how tired she was because of it.

While it would’ve been easy, and likely appreciated by her, if we simply stayed home for the night and watched a movie or something, I didn’t want to let our time together slip away. Instead, I found Gemma sitting on the couch, absently scrolling through her phone when I approached from behind and leaned against the backrest.

“Get ready to head out, and dress warm,” I murmured to her, trying to keep an air of mystery about my plans.

Gemma’s brows went up in interest as she craned her neck to look at me. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a secret,” I returned, feeling a little mischievous. “But as a useful hint, it’s usually chilly by the water at night.”

While obviously missing the rest of the context, she still seemed excited about the idea, and she nodded while getting to her feet. “Alright, I’ll be ready in ten.”

“I’ll be here when you’re done.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the prospect of the night I had planned for us, already able to anticipate Gemma’s amusement and joy.

Ever since the marriage was finalized and we found ourselves involved more heavily with the Ivanov situation, we had been spending more time in our bubble together when we weren’t busy working, which made the idea of changing things up even more appealing.

Before long, Gemma was ready to go, and we headed out. It was a short drive to the boardwalk, but as the ocean came into view, I caught the way her eyes started to light up. I pulled up, and she smiled.

“I love this place. I’ve only been able to sneak over here a few times since I moved to New York, but it’s so worth it.”

Unable to keep my smile off my face, I killed the ignition and chuckled. “We have all night to peruse as much as you’d like. Just lead the way.”

Her joy deepened even more at my words, and without needing to be told, she popped the door open. “Let’s get started, then.”

As we walked side by side, the boardwalk was about as busy as I expected on a Friday night, but it didn’t deter us from enjoying it anyway. To my amusement, Gemma was grinning from ear to ear like a child as we took in the sights, and I knew I couldn’t possibly grow tired of seeing it.

As we walked by the storefronts and noticed the various games and challenges up ahead, she faced me with an enticing smile. “Do you want to try some out?”

Considering her question, I raked my eyes over the various stalls, all made up of colorful construction and flashing lights meant to grab your attention. I hummed to myself.

“These guys are the biggest con men, you know,” I mused, allowing a grin to slide onto my face. “But sure. Have your pick and we’ll see if we can rob these guys of their best prizes.”

As Gemma giggled to herself and walked me over to the first game she set her sights on—a classic ring-toss arrangement. “Seems as good a place to start as any.”

“Step up and give it a shot,” I encouraged her, motioning for her to take the lead. I leaned down closer and murmured to her, “And if those rings give you any trouble, I’ll give them a piece of my mind.”

I watched as she visibly shivered at the proximity before slipping back into amusement, and I couldn’t deny the rush of satisfaction it brought me. Knowing I could make her body react involuntarily instilled pride in me, along with the desire to make it happen again as many times as I could.

With warm enthusiasm, Gemma indeed did her best at the game, and while she tried, she didn’t quite win, and as confident as I had been in my abilities to win the game, it turned out I wasn’t very good at it, either.

I found myself growing more frustrated, but before I could spend too much money on the game, Gemma pulled me in the direction of another game that caught her eye.

We'd made our way through most of the activities by the time we found what was apparently the holy grail—the showstopper of the evening, according to Gemma.

“Are you sure?” I asked, looking at the tall arrangement of glass fishbowls stacked strategically on top of one another, all with individual beta fish that, for the most part, didn’t seem all that healthy or happy.

But to my surprise, Gemma’s eyes were completely lit up. “I remember trying so hard to win this one as a kid at local carnivals, but I never could. Those damn fish were always just out of my grasp.”

Seeing how nostalgic it was for her, I snickered and nodded. “Alright, you might as well try your hand at it while we’re here.”

With deep satisfaction at my acceptance, she stepped closer and gave the loose change to the man running the game. In exchange, she was given three ping-pong balls, and she assumed the appropriate distance away from the stack of fishbowls.

I watched closely as she focused almost like it was a life-or-death situation, entertained even before she started.

The first ball bounced off the rim of one, the second landed in between two without falling in, and as Gemma tossed the third, it hit another rim before bouncing wildly away. In the end, she couldn’t manage to sink one.

Dejected, Gemma sighed. “I see it hasn’t gotten any easier with time.”

As much as I didn’t mind the idea of her not winning a fish, the longer I looked at her, the more I realized just how happy she would be if given the chance to take one home. It was a small, simple thing, but I could already anticipate the look on her face.

With resolve, I pulled out more change and handed it to the man. “Another round, please.”

He gave me the smug smirk of an individual who was well aware of the easy money he was making simply by standing there next to a stack of half-alive fish that likely cost less at the pet store, but for Gemma’s happiness, I was willing to take that hit.

I handed two of them to her but kept the last one for myself.

She brightened again and graciously accepted the two extra opportunities to win. “That’s very kind of you.”

I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “We’re here to get one of those damn fish, right?”

Smiling at me, she nodded and tried again.

As she went through her two turns faster than anything, I couldn’t help but wonder if the game really was rigged or if Gemma just didn’t have the best depth perception, but with that last ball in my hand, I assumed the position.

“Alright,” I murmured, lifting it before me as I focused. “You’re coming with us, fish.”

Concentrating on my target, I gave the ball a slight toss given its lightness, and sure enough, it splashed into one of those glass bowls. The red beta fish startled in the water and swam to the bottom in an attempt to hide.

Gemma gasped with delight and reached for my arm. “Ben, you did it!”

Pleased by her awe and excitement, I chuckled. “Would you look at that. Someone gets to bring a little friend home now.”

Beaming as the man reluctantly scooped the fish into a small plastic container, she gladly took it from him before we headed off, disappearing further into the boardwalk crowds. She looked down at it and laughed to herself as she carried the beta fish, careful to not block the air hole at the top. “I can now say that childhood dream of mine has been successfully completed.”

I couldn’t fight the grin on my lips as I walked alongside her, amused by the idea of such a simple, unnecessary thing being that important to her even in adulthood. “I’m just glad the little guy doesn’t have to suffer with all those other poor fish. I’m pretty sure the one behind him wasn’t even swimming anymore.”

“We’ll take good care of him,” Gemma said, smiling softly as she looked over at me. “Thanks, Ben. You really didn’t have to.”

Shrugging again, I didn’t mind how my heart warmed from her gratitude, even over a small gesture. “It was no problem. Getting to watch you carry it around now makes it worth it.”

The faintest blush appeared on her face as she continued, and despite how she tried to hide it, it wasn’t missed by me. I thought it was endearing.

After grabbing some food and spending more time on the boardwalk, we set a gentle pace as we meandered around, moving alongside the water to take the sights in. It was nice to be able to slow down and appreciate everything that was going on around us.

Before, I wouldn’t have thought twice about spending my Friday night on the boardwalk, but after experiencing it for myself with her, I was glad the idea crossed my mind.

“You know,” I began, interrupting the momentary silence between us. “Growing up, I always wanted a pet—a dog more than anything. I begged Dad, then begged Ari, and honestly, I’m surprised he never gave in just to shut me up.”

Gemma smiled at that as a curious gleam filled her eyes. “You never got one?”

I shook my head. “A dog? No. I would mope around about it and bring it up every chance I could. We didn’t have a family pet like most people, but I did have Aleksandr. He was a stray black cat I found not far from our house one day and decided to start sneaking him some dinner scraps. He was an ugly bugger —one bad eye, mangled front teeth, and he wasn’t afraid to lay a claw into you if he felt like it.”

She cocked a brow at that and stifled a laugh. “That’s a bit of an intense name for a cat, don’t you think?”

I grinned. “Nah, it fit him pretty well. I was out in the woods one day when a big, nasty dog had me cornered in the snow. I knew I’d never outrun the thing, and I was too far away from the house to call for help. Before the dog could attack me, Aleksandr came to my defense and laid into the old mutt. Ever since then, he earned himself an honorary spot in our family, but from a distance, of course. Ari never let the fleabag inside. But he was a good companion, nonetheless. He might as well have been a dog.”

By the end of my story, Gemma was smiling fondly, as if touched by it. The sight alone made me want to tell her more and more until I ran out of things to say.

“He sounds like a solid friend to have in your corner.”

I nodded, vaguely amused by the memory of a stray cat throwing himself between me and a dog. “I was very lucky to have known him. Although, he could’ve smelled a little better, at least.”

As we laughed and walked around the boardwalk, we fell into a natural rhythm, almost like we had known each other for years. By the end of it, I was grateful to see just how happy and at ease Gemma looked.

On the drive back home, I couldn’t help but sneak glances over at her while she held the prized fish in her lap, noticing how the city lights made her look even more beautiful than usual as they lit up her eyes and splashed colorful streaks across her skin.

Feeling a shared warmth and contentment, I wanted nothing more than to touch her again—to feel her skin and become reacquainted with that sensation.

It had been some time since we indulged in one another, and that longing sat heavily in my chest. After spending quality time together and seeing different sides of each other, my heart was fuller than it ever had been.

When I looked at her, I didn’t just see a reluctant young woman simply putting up with me anymore. By then, I saw my wife. The woman I couldn’t help but long for.