Chapter 12 - Benedikt

By the end of the day, the quiet clink of silverware against our plates was our only ambiance as we ate together.

Just from the look of her as she absently ate her food, more out of necessity than to derive any kind of pleasure from it, I could tell Gemma was worn down from her day.

As much as I didn’t mind the idea of letting her recuperate from her time at the office, my questions lingered silently in the air. I needed to know whether or not she followed through with her end of our bargain.

I had to know if the situation had been wrapped up neatly, or if I needed to prepare for shit to hit the fan.

After sipping my water, I looked over at her, keeping my voice as non-intrusive as possible. “Was it done?”

Despite my vague word choice, there was no doubt we both knew what that meant. It didn’t require any context—not when it was the one obstacle left before we’d be able to move forward and hopefully find a state of normalcy that didn’t involve me blackmailing her.

Regardless of what she likely thought of me, I didn’t take any joy in it. I had at first, but after we slept together and renewed my idea of having an actual life with her, my grand scheme didn’t seem satisfying anymore—rather, it was simply a necessity that had to be carried out. Nothing more.

Gemma sighed through a moment of silence, and she nodded, looking at her plate instead of me.

“It was.”

Able to exhale the breath I'd been holding, I nodded, feeling a slight spark of pride, glad that I could trust her to carry it out. That fact would eventually be confirmed with the article being published, but at that moment, I was comfortable enough to believe her.

While it should’ve been a happy moment to celebrate, given how neither of us would have to worry about the family name being tanked and dragged through the mud, I could sense her resignation.

Looking over, my brows came together in question. “But you aren’t satisfied knowing that.”

It was her turn to pull in a steadying breath. Remorse lingered in her words. “It tainted my integrity as a journalist, and if anything in that article is eventually brought into question, I might never come back from it. My reputation is on the line because of the fabrication, but it was done.”

There was more significance to her claim than I wanted to admit, but even I couldn’t deny how compromising it must’ve felt for her.

As someone who prided herself on sharing stories that mattered, which unfortunately meant telling the truth, I couldn’t imagine how much it weighed on her throughout the day. Given the state she was in, it was easy enough for me to believe.

Normally, reporters and journalists were our natural enemies, as they were almost like emissaries for the feds. But given how I married one, I couldn’t simply threaten the newspaper as a whole. And as much as I didn’t want Gemma to be caught in the middle of the situation, there wasn’t much else I could do about it.

But with her confirmation that the alterations had been made, I found myself in a better mood, and able to breathe a little easier.

“I hate to say it, but you’ve found yourself wrapped up in a world where integrity is scarce. It’s something you’ll have to get used to.”

It was supposed to be a lighthearted remark to lift the mood a bit, but it was easy to see that Gemma didn’t appreciate the comment very much. She looked over at me with an unimpressed expression before she shook her head absently and returned her gaze to the plate in front of her.

Realizing I took a swing and a miss, I sighed quietly and worked at my food as the sense of guilt in my chest deepened.

It wasn’t my intention to be a jackass, but it seemed to come fairly easily to me. I wasn’t used to having anyone outside of Ari keep me accountable for anything, and being able to read Gemma’s reactions to my antics was a sobering reminder that not everyone thought like me. That, unfortunately, I didn’t always hit the mark.

Being confronted with that notion, even if silently, was an odd feeling that I didn’t enjoy too much. But it seemed unavoidable.

Life as a bachelor allowed me to skate by assuming I couldn’t do anything wrong, and since being married, no matter how briefly, I couldn’t keep up that mentality anymore. As much as I wanted to think I would be able to just do as I pleased and have someone by my side to keep me company, I was beginning to see just how incorrect that was.

It wasn’t just me anymore, and if Gemma wasn’t happy, then we would both suffer for it.

As dinner continued through another bout of silence, I couldn’t ignore how agonizing it felt, and I had to at least try to lighten the mood.

I cleared my throat and took up a gentler tone. “I’ve been thinking the last few days about my childhood, and how different things have been since then. But growing up in Russia, Ari practically raised all of us. After Mom died, Dad couldn’t take it, and he relied on substances to cope. When he fucked off, Ari was the one who stood up and made sure we were taken care of. Because Kir and Lara were so young, that meant Ari had to drop out of high school to take care of them, but he made sure we went all the way through. One time, I was so tired of reading boring classics in English, I skipped class, forgetting he would be home when the school inevitably called. I ended up getting a ride with a friend, but one of the faculty saw and assumed I was in a dangerous situation, so they called Ari right away.

“Before I could even make it across town, he somehow knew exactly where I would try to end up—a rundown skatepark I usually went to in my downtime. I just needed the chance to clear my head, but Ari, being Ari, wasn’t prepared to let that fly. So, by the time I got there, he already had our uncle and his guys waiting for me at the skatepark like it was some kind of shakedown. I wasn’t familiar enough with the business yet to be comfortable around them, so needless to say, I was scared shitless. They gave me a stern talking-to, and by the end of it, I was terrified of skipping. From that day on, I never needlessly skipped a class again, and I became a top student in all of my classes.”

While Gemma listened to my recounting, her expression didn’t give away her thoughts until the end, when her brows went up in question as she propped her chin up on her fist. “You were at the top of your class?”

I nodded with a chuckle at the thought. “Surprising, I know. But it turns out that threatening a kid with big, domineering guys is highly effective. It helped that Ari wrung me out for it when I got home, too. You’ve seen him—even as a teenager, he was far too much muscle for his own good.”

Gemma managed to crack a small smile at that. “Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.”

“One good thing about it is it only took Ari picking me up from school once for my peers to decide to leave me be. As irritating and bossy as he can be at times, he’s not such a bad brother to have in your corner.”

“You said he raised all of you…how did he manage that on his own?” she asked, sounding genuinely curious.

I nodded, recalling it easily despite all the time that had passed. “Honestly, I don’t know. He made a lot of sacrifices just to make sure the rest of us turned out alright, and he had some help from our uncle whenever he could spare it. But all in all, it was up to Ari, and he did a pretty damn good job considering the circumstances.”

Gemma seemed to soften at my words, nodding along quietly as she listened. “That must’ve been very tough on him, but he seems to really care for all of you.”

“Even if we were a handful, he made sure to keep us grounded. By the time he was old enough and everyone was in school, Ari took up the family business, and it took off from there,” I continued, smiling faintly at the reminder of how far we had come. “We didn’t have much before, but with some luck and Ari’s ability to make it happen, we’ve found ourselves in a very different place.”

“It sounds like you’ve been through a lot so far,” she murmured with a glimmer of awe in her eyes—at the very least, a tinge of respect. “My experience seems to pale in comparison.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” I returned gently, shrugging off the idea. “You’re in a competitive industry and managed to land an internship. I bet they don’t just hand those out for free.”

A small yet easy smile moved across her lips, and she nodded absently to herself. “That’s true, at least. I had to make miracles just to get there.”

Aware that I didn’t know anything about her other than her career, I leaned back in my chair. “If you don’t mind me asking, where did you come from?”

“I grew up in Michigan and went to school there. I lived with my grandparents after my parents passed suddenly from carbon monoxide poisoning. I was an only child, so I relied on them to get me through it,” she explained with a tinge of sadness in her eyes. “When I managed to land the internship and moved here, my grandparents got sick and died within months of each other. So, it’s been just me out here ever since.”

The more she revealed to me, the worse I felt for her, even if I was glad she felt comfortable enough to share it with me. She experienced a heavy childhood too, and that wasn’t an easy thing to stomach.

Looking at her with genuine sympathy, I reached across the table and placed a gentle hand against hers. “I’m sorry for your losses. I don’t imagine any of that was easy to manage.”

Gemma nodded again, accepting the contact as she let out a sigh. “That’s why the internship means so much to me…without it, I don’t have anyone else. No fall-backs. It was always just me against the world here.”

My heart went out to her as I let my thumb gently graze the back of her hand. “It doesn’t have to be anymore, Gemma. I know this is a tall promise to make, but you’re my wife, and you don’t need to worry about anything ever again. You’ll be taken care of here.”

As she met my gaze with less disdain, she nodded and let go of a breath. She pulled a light smile for me, and as faint as it may have been, it was enough.

Satisfied to have bridged more of a connection, I was left with a positive feeling in my chest. With that step forward, it gave me the hope that our marriage wasn’t completely baseless. That there was a chance we could become something stronger.

To my surprise, the very idea made my heart warm, and it became easier to see a genuine future with her.

I just had to be patient.