Chapter 11 - Gemma

As a journalist, it was against my nature to lie. I had no desire to, especially when I prided myself on getting the truth out so that others could be aware and have reliable sources to trust.

But as I sat there at my desk, actively combing through the article on my desktop and making all the necessary changes, I had never felt more like a liar than at that exact moment.

I felt like I was torn down the middle: one half wanted to keep the article as it was and remain truthful, while the other half was leaning into Ben’s words—understanding that he had a point about tarnishing the Levov name.

A part of me didn’t want to care about that part. That fragment knew, at least deep down, that the Levovs deserved to face the repercussions of their actions. They had done awful things, put people in harm’s way, and did whatever they needed to do in order to cover their tracks.

They were notorious and dangerous, and exactly the sort of people I wanted to shield others from by bringing their crimes to light.

Yet there was so much more to it than that. After the weekend, my whole life changed, and it wasn’t as simple as reporting the truth anymore.

As I reread the article numerous times, glancing at the clock on my computer, I let go of a shaky breath and saved the new version before sending it off to Norman. As I clicked the button, my hand shook noticeably, and I couldn’t avoid the fact that I was being untruthful.

There was a rush of immediate regret in my system as I sat there at my desk, wondering how everything fell apart so quickly. How my life as I knew it was completely shaken up.

My head was a mess of internal conflict and worry to the point I couldn’t get out of my chair yet. I could only sit there and stare at my screen, pondering what exactly I had done.

My life would be at risk if I went against Ben and abandoned his plan altogether. He had enough influence to do as he wanted with me if I did, and that didn’t sit right with me. Still, I couldn’t rid myself of the feeling that I would one day face different consequences—the sobering reality of framing another family for the crimes committed by Ben and the Levovs.

I did not doubt that they were just as bad and ruthless, given how the Levovs felt threatened enough to stomp them back down to a safer position, but I still knew it wasn’t right.

My integrity as a journalist had been completely dismantled. I could hardly call myself a truth seeker anymore, or feel comfortable thinking that I was helping anyone by fabricating that article. Yet I didn’t know what else to do.

I was all alone in the city. I didn’t have family around that I could run to since they were either all dead or went no-contact; I had significantly less money and influence compared to the Levovs, and I had the feeling they would have no problem covering up my tracks if I ever tried to defect.

While I was legally married to Ben, it was all so new, and there wasn’t enough of a bond to tie us together. If he so chose, he could throw me away at any moment.

Obeying him and going along with it was the only way I could keep myself safe. Even if it felt like he was robbing me of water that would’ve otherwise been at my disposal just to sell me a bottle of it, I had no other choice but to accept.

Leaning back in my chair, I rested my chin against a fist and felt as my stomach turned.

My feelings for Ben were completely mixed.

After giving in to him, our moment of passion had been nice. It was everything I ever could’ve wanted from a sexual encounter, and it left me wanting more, but I couldn’t turn a blind eye to the obvious blight of it all.

I was still angry with him for putting me in this position in the first place. He forced my back against a wall, and I didn’t trust him completely.

He seemed more than happy with himself, and despite his attempt at being sweet and supportive earlier, it was difficult to ignore that guarded feeling I kept within me.

In a way, I wanted to trust him. I wanted to think he had my best interests at heart, and that maybe one day we could reach a more stable place, given how I was tied to him by law. Yet in that moment with everything still so fresh, it didn’t seem possible. I knew it would take a long time and would involve him proving that I could trust him.

Eventually, as more of my coworkers entered the office and offered their usual greetings, I reminded myself that despite it all, I had to play it cool. I had to act like nothing was wrong.

While I had to save the Levov reputation, I also had to save face for myself. I was still an intern, after all. I had a lot more grunt work to do, and I had to stay on top of things despite how difficult it seemed at the moment.

Forcing myself out of my chair, I let go of a calming breath and kept my chin up as I left my desk and moved through the office.

Even if things were far from okay, I needed to find a sense of normalcy.

Benedikt may have changed my personal life forever, but I refused to let him take away the one thing that mattered the most to me.

With practiced ease, I moved passed the cubicles until I found Sky’s desk, a coworker I meshed with well. We weren’t quite close enough to spend time together away from work, but we were friendly, and she was easy to talk to. It wasn’t perfect, but she was a support system of sorts.

With her blonde hair pulled into a slicked-back bun and wearing a light pink blazer, Sky met my gaze with a warm smile. “Gemma, hey! How was your weekend?”

The question was far from out of the ordinary, but given how tumultuous and strange those past few days were, I was startled at first. However, I maintained my cool and returned her smile.

“It wasn’t too bad, I was just busy staying on top of work, followed by a Sunday spent on the couch.”

Sky’s expression was one of understanding. “I hear you. The news cycle has been brutal lately.”

Nodding my agreement, I absently scratched at my neck. “I certainly have my work cut out for me.”

At the gesture, Sky paused and looked at my left hand with piqued curiosity. “What’s that?”

My brows furrowed, unsure of what she was talking about until I pulled my hand back and realized the grave error I made.

I didn’t take my ring off before leaving the house. My heart nearly fell to the floor, and I was immediately caught in a fluster. Unable to find the words, I stood there like an idiot as Sky got up with a quiet gasp and gently reached for my hand, inspecting the ring closely.

“No way!”

I hushed her immediately, glancing around the office to make sure nobody heard. Forcing a smile, I had to be quick on my feet as I wracked my brain for any kind of explanation. “Oops, you caught me. But keep this between us.”

Eyes dazzling with both the idea of having a secret between us and scandalized by the sudden news I had not intended to reveal to anyone, Sky nodded and cleared her throat as she sat back down again.

“You got married?” she whispered, careful to keep it to herself.

I managed a sheepish smile and nodded.

She chuckled to herself. “Why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t know you were in a relationship.”

Aware that I’d have to lie again, I sighed inwardly, yet put on a brave face and did my best to be convincing. “Honestly, things progressed so naturally that it felt like we were already married, and I guess it just slipped my mind. We decided to elope Saturday, and we kept it fairly low-key.”

Sky gave me a touched expression as she put a hand against her chest. “That’s so beautiful, Gemma. Congratulations! What’s your sweetheart’s name?”

“Ben,” I said, wishing I could eat my words. For half a beat, I wondered if I should’ve used a fake name, although that would likely make things far too complicated if I managed to forget what I went with.

“Well, you and Ben sound like you have a perfect relationship. Whatever suits you, right?”

While it was sweet of her to be so supportive despite my lie, surprised that she didn’t see completely through it, I wanted the interaction to be over more than anything.

Standing there, I realized just how deep in it I was.

Since the cat was out of the bag and at least one person knew about the elopement, which was real enough, I suddenly found myself having to keep up a charade. If I were to fumble or get caught in my lies, I’d have an uncomfortable number of questions to answer, and that wasn’t something I wanted to deal with.

Not to mention, I was supposed to be bringing as little attention to the Levovs as possible. If I somehow let it slip, I would only be adding fuel to the ridiculous fire.

It was my first day back at work since it happened, and instead of returning to that sanctuary reserved only for me, I found myself weaving between lies I had to spin to shield us both.

“That’s very kind of you, Sky. I appreciate it,” I said, forcing a smile.

I hated lying to her, and I hated how I had to put on that face. She was my friend, and I didn’t want to mislead her.

Ever since Ben entered my life, he seemed to have a knack for backing me into abysmal corners.

I already knew I had my work cut out for me.