27. Twenty-Seven

Twenty-Seven

I woke to blistering heat, the kind that penetrates through layers of fabric and scorches the skin. The inside of the tent felt like an oven, the air heavy with the faint smell of sweat.

As I shifted, the sweltering air clung to my skin like a reminder of the desolate, unwelcoming place we were in. Through the small opening at the front of the tent, I could see the others already stirring. I pushed myself up onto my elbows and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

I took a deep breath in, slumping back onto my cot and covering my face with my hands.

I was not ready to face this day.

The Stories hadn’t taught much of other realms; they hadn’t taught much of anything I was starting to realize. But what they had taught about Ammord was not pleasant. Their shape shifting and power of manipulation made them deadly.

My mind wandered to Ata and a hand clamped around my heart. We were about to walk into the one place I knew scared her. The once place that had the magic she had kept hidden, flowing through its veins.

The magic of the Hanth—her people—was rooted in emotional manipulation and the ability they had to shape shift made it almost impossible to realize when they were using it on you. But even after all this time, she had never once used that power on me. Not when she had tried to convince me to leave Taft, or when I had told her I was thinking of staying at the academy. She never pushed me into a choice.

That’s what set her apart from the Hanth. That’s what made her different—her heart. She never let her magic consume her heart.

She had been training her magic with Andrues while we were at the safe house in Redelvtum, and today, she would be using that magic to get us through Ammords streets safely.

I pulled my night shirt over my head. I couldn’t help but replay the events of yesterday in my mind. The new magic that had erupted from me, the way Taft’s hand gripped my wrist—the way Landers’ mouth had felt on mine. I lifted my fingers to my lips and brushed them softly.

I could still feel it.

Things would be different between us now, I was sure of it.

Shaking the thoughts from my mind, I slid into my clothing, flinching at the aches that screamed from my muscles. The adrenaline had finally worn off and now I was feeling every bit of pain.

Looking down at the sheath strewn across the floor, I debated leaving it there before picking it up and strapping it over my chest. I needed to stay prepared. Reaching for the ties to unfasten the tent, I tossed the canvas flap open and halted.

The Gods must be kidding.

There at the entrance of my tent, sat Landers and Taft.

Taft was sitting on a makeshift chair cleaning his axe as Landers lounged under a tree only feet away, casually cutting into an apple. In unison, they looked up at me and my stomach lurched. Taft flinched as my eyes locked on his. He opened his mouth to speak, then snapped it shut as he glanced over at Landers, then back at his axe.

I tore my gaze away from him and reluctantly met Landers’s eyes. It was as if a heavy weight had been dropped into my chest as his deep green irises locked onto mine.

His eyes were always his giveaway.

He could hide behind a facade in every other way, but his eyes never lied.

And yet, here he was, grinning at me with that same familiar smile. Like nothing had changed between us, as if we were picking up right where our friendship left off. I stood there, staring at him expressionless as I heard Ata call my name.

Thank Gods for that woman.

I ripped my eyes from Landers and scanned the camp for Ata. Spotting her and Ardan waist-deep in the river only a few yards away, she waved me over as Ardan sent a wave of water over her head. Her laughing was the exact remedy I needed right now.

Squaring my shoulders I clasped the belt of daggers hugging my chest with both hands, and strode past them.

I stood at the edge of the water, watching them splash each other as I smiled to myself.

“Cin! Get in with us!” Ata said the words between laughs as she tried to pull away from Ardan who was actively trying to push her under the water.

“I think I’ll stay safe over here.” I laughed as Ata’s head disappeared underwater, then emerged with a large breath.

“Either you get in, or you I’ll bring the water to you,” Ardan said, lifting a brow.

I could definitely use some washing after yesterday, but hesitated as my eyes lingered on them, stripped down to their undergarments. My eyes flashed over my shoulder to where Taft sat, then back to the water. He wouldn’t like this, wouldn’t like so much of my skin on display.

Ardan took a step forward and stretched his hand toward me.

“Okay,” I said softly, unbuckling my knives and setting them neatly on the sand beside me. I stripped out of my clothing as fast as I could and took his hand.

He pulled me over his shoulder and I screamed his name with a giggle as he threw me into the river. As the water hit my skin an immediate relief from the morning sun washed over me, and the heaviness on my heart began to lift.

I burst through the surface, spraying water at Ata who retaliated with a splash. We all stood there, grinning like little kids before erupting into a fit of laughter. Ata tugged on my shoulders, climbing onto my back and challenging me to spin us around as many times as possible. We spun and twirled until we both collapsed in a heap, unable to stop giggling like the teenagers we used to be.

It was nostalgic, reminding me of the days that we would sneak out of the academy in the summer and dare each other to middle-of-the-night cold plunges in the ocean, only to get caught and dragged into Asrai’s office for our umpteenth lecture.

Ata and I pulled ourselves out of the water and sprawled out on the soft ground. I laid my stomach on the sand, feeling the heat of it seeping into my water chilled skin and let my head rest on my hands. Ata was laying back, propped up on her elbows, letting the sun kiss every inch of her pale skin.

I watched her in awe.

She was younger, but I always told myself that I wanted to grow up to be just like her. So secure and confident in who she is, sure of her beauty, but still so humble and kind to every being she met. She demanded the best for herself and never settled for anything less. She knew her worth down to her core, and that shone through every part of her.

“So . . .” She turned her head to face me, lifting a hand to shield her eyes from the glaring rays. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I groaned and turned my face away, pushing my forehead into my hands before looking back over at her. “No?” I sighed. “But I know I need to.”

“You know”—she shifted over to her stomach, mirroring me—“I thought Ardan was going to beat Taft to death last night.”

“What?” I exclaimed as she chuckled back at me.

“After you went to your tent, he insisted on going to find him. I went with him because I knew how upset he was and I suspected he would do something stupid. He didn’t even let Taft speak before landing the hardest blow I have ever seen him throw into Taft’s jaw. Wren had to pull them apart and I had to talk Ardan down.” Ata smiled in approval. “Though if it were up to me, I would have let Ardan keep going. But don’t worry, I made sure he knew how much you would appreciate his . . . passion , when we got back to our tent,” she said with a wink. I scoffed as a smile spread onto my face.

The corners of her mouth fell, as she let out a long sigh.

“Do you think we are all going to make it?” My brows furrowed at the question. “I have this sick feeling, Cin. This feeling that when we get to Locdragoon none of us are going to be the same. That getting there is just the beginning of whatever is coming next.”

“I don’t think any of us will ever be the same,” I answered honestly. “The people we were, were not prepared for the violence of the realms. We were not given all the truths we needed to know to survive outside of the academy.”

Ata nodded, dragging her fingers through the sand.

“I’m scared of who I might have to become to survive this, Ata.”

She grabbed my hand, squeezing it tight. “And I will love you just the same.”

“I feel like all everyone has seen me do since we left is cry,” I said with a sigh.

She let out a small laugh. “So? Who cares who sees you cry, if they think any less of you because of it, that’s a reflection of them. Not you.”

I gave her as much of a smile as I could.

“I always envied that about you. That you let yourself feel so deeply and were never afraid to show it.” Ata pushed sand around with her free hand as she continued. “I have never been able to be vulnerable or open like you in that way, and it hasn’t protected me from anything.” She glanced at Ardan who was lounging in the shallow end of the water, then looked back to the pile of sand she had made. “It’s taken more from me than it’s given, I can promise you that. Being able to show emotion is a strength, not a weakness.”

She had never said anything like that to me and I would have never imagined her wanting to be anything like me. My heart swelled at the thought, and for a moment I felt that voice inside my head that told me I wasn’t enough, that told me I was weak—suffocating.

Ata’s body flew into the air as she let out a high pitch cackle, swatting at Ardan’s back as he hauled her over his shoulder and back into the water. My lips pulled up at the corners as I watched them tease and taunt each other between soft, stolen kisses. He was good for her and he loved her in a way I don’t think she fully understood. He brought out a softness in her that only few got the chance to see, and I was lucky enough to be one of them.

A few hours passed before I made my way back over to camp for lunch. I ladled soup into a bowl as I listened to the conversation Ardan and Taft were having between spoonfuls. Apparently, Wren and Pri had left early this morning to see what information they could glean from the spies Wren had placed throughout Ammord.

I spotted Andrues sitting outside his tent with his nose in a book. He was probably my best bet for lunch company, given the two men who currently sat in our makeshift gathering area.

“Have you eaten?” I asked, as I approached.

Andrues nodded, closing his book and setting it onto his lap. “Do not worry about me.” He gestured to the driftwood he was sitting on, a silent invitation to sit. “Let’s talk about what you did yesterday and where that magic came from.”

I sat down, now questioning my choice of company. I avoided his eyes while spooning the hot liquid into my mouth.

I wish he’d just keep reading.

“That was death magic you used. An extremely powerful kind.”

I choked. Andrues chuckled as I pounded on my chest and coughed. I took a swig from my canteen to clear my throat.

“How do you know that?”

“I sensed it when you used it,” Andrues answered as I raised a brow at him. “When death magic is used to kill”—I grimaced at the word—“anyone who holds that kind of magic can sense it from miles away unless you learn to mask it.” I stared at him blankly. “Think about it like this—when there is tension in a room, you can feel it in the air. It is similar to that feeling.” I nodded as he leaned forward, placing his forearms on his knees. “Death magic is one of the oldest, most dangerous forms of magic. You can not use this kind of power without understanding the consequences or how to control it properly.”

“I don’t even know how I did it, it felt like it just took over me,” I said, a crease forming between my brows.

“That is very possible.” That wasn’t comforting. “You need to learn to control it, or you could end up killing innocent people.” There was a harshness in his tone when he said the words and I tried not to grimace.

“What if I don’t want anything to do with this type of magic?” I asked, meeting his eyes.

“You do not have a choice.” His statement cut through me like a knife, leaving no room for argument. I felt a lump forming in my throat and tried to swallow. “Death magic has the ability to corrupt its user if not handled with caution,” he explained, his sapphire eyes piercing mine.

“So what do I do?”

“You train, you learn, you study, and you show it the respect it deserves.”

I pushed my head into my hands as I sighed. The smell of my lunch now making my stomach churn.

“This trip just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it?” I deadpanned.

Andrues’s face softened, and the corners of his lips pulled upward. “You seem to be handling everything well.”

I rolled my eyes. “If only you could hear my thoughts,” I joked, trying to lighten the new weight that was now added onto my shoulders. A quiet laugh left his lips as he looked over the landscape in front of us.

“Is every realm this beautiful?”

“No.” He paused. “This realm plays tricks on your mind. Do not trust what you see or feel for anyone outside of this group.” I nodded, looking down at my hands.

“Does this magic. . .” I hesitated, trying not to sound too curious. “Make you feel things you normally wouldn’t?” He smirked like he knew what I was referring to.

“It can make desires that are already present stronger, yes. It can also create new ones.” I turned to the side, hiding my flushed cheeks. “I assure you,” Andrues continued, “he is able to block out the magic from this realm. It does not affect his choices.”

I whipped my head back to him with eyes wide. “Y-you know?” I stammered. “I mean, he told you?” Embarrassment flooded my body as he chuckled.

“There isn’t much we keep from each other after hundreds of years together.”

I turned my eyes toward Landers, who was crouched over a map he had set in the sand.

“Why doesn’t he—”

“I am going to stop you there.” Andrues put a hand up. “It is not my place to speak on Landers’s thoughts or feelings. If you want answers, you will have to get them from him. It is my experience that he will always answer honestly, even if it may not be what you want to hear.”

I nodded, respecting his boundary.

It was comforting to see him show such loyalty to Landers. It felt similar to how Ata and I treated each other, and I knew how deep our bond ran after only thirteen years. After centuries together, I could only imagine how close they had gotten.

He slapped his hands on his knees and stood. “We should get packing, we will need to leave soon.” Before I could ask any further questions, he walked toward Landers.

“May I come in?”

The sound of Landers’s voice sent my heart racing as I slowly turned to face him. I folded the blanket on my cot as I nodded, keeping myself busy.

“I see you have been avoiding me,” Landers stated, smiling as he strode into my tent, sitting in the same spot as last night. My cheeks flushed at the memory and I turned from him, shoving clothing into my sack.

“Andrues said we would be leaving soon. Where are we going?”

He chuckled at my obvious dismissal of his statement. “Sethros, the capital, is a few hours from here. Andrues and I will tether us to the border then Ata will guide us through the city. We will stay for the night and if all goes well, we should be at the safe house by tomorrow evening.”

“If you are just tethering us, why did we wait so long to leave here?” I asked, finally looking up at him.

“So many questions,” Landers smirked as I crossed my arms. “We need to get into the city while it is busy. The busier it is, the less we will be noticed.”

I nodded, looking around for anything else to keep my hands busy.

“Last night . . .”

My throat tightened, and my stomach lurched as his deep voice uttered those words. This was exactly the conversation I was trying to avoid. “What about it?” I snapped.

“We should talk about what happened,” Landers said, his voice calm and controlled.

I let out a frustrated sigh. “What is there to talk about? It was just a kiss. It doesn’t mean anything.” My words came out harsher than I intended and he ran a hand through his hair.

I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to meet his gaze. I didn’t want to have this conversation. I didn’t want to think about what had happened between us. It was just a moment of weakness, a fleeting attraction that we both should have ignored. He smiled before standing and taking a step toward me.

“You are upset.”

“No shit.” The words came out before I could stop them, and my eyes widened with surprise as I heard them.

Landers smirked, amusement dancing in his eyes. “You are stubborn, you know that?” He gave me a wide smile and we stared back at each other like a game, deciding who would be the first to break.

“You guys okay?” Ardan said cautiously, looking between the two of us as I scowled up at Landers.

“We are great,” Landers said sternly, not pulling his eyes from me, his jaw flexed and Ardan cleared his throat.

“I hate to interrupt this”—he paused, gesturing his hand between us—“whatever this is, but we are ready to head out.” Amusement saturated Ardan’s voice. He always caught us at the worst possible moment.

Landers finally pulled his eyes from mine and lifted my cot off the floor, folding it into a small square before tucking it under his arm and heading for the tent’s opening. He stopped and looked over his shoulder.

“We will be finishing this conversation later.” There was no question in his tone.

“I doubt that,” I muttered under my breath as he strode out of my tent.

A drink. I needed a drink after the last two days. That, or to scream as loudly as I possibly could into a deep void.

Ata was strapping her quiver to her back as I strode over to her side and I watched as her hands fumbled on the buckle. I let my fingers slide over hers and tightened it against her body.

“You ready for this?” I asked, as I slipped my hand into hers.

“Always.” She looked up at me with a nervous smile, and I squeezed her hand a little tighter.