26. Twenty-Six

Twenty-Six

I could see the end of the corridor and the light peeking through the opening of the passage. My lungs screamed for air. I could feel the exhaustion searing into my bones as Landers carried me against his chest.

Ata gasped as we passed under the archway’s threshold and into the bright daylight beyond. Pulling me from his arms, Ata pushed herself into me, sobbing as she thanked the Gods I was still alive. I held her head against my chest as Landers kept an arm on my side to steady me.

I blinked at our surroundings.

I had never seen anything like it.

We were surrounded by a vast desert with a city rising up in the distance like an obsidian jewel from the sands; its towering spires and domed palaces casting ominous silhouettes against the fiery hues of the glaring sun.

It was pure opulence in the midst of desolation.

I looked down at Ata, and examined the bruise around her neck as Andrues crouched over Pri, healing the deep cut across both thighs. Landers carried me over to them, setting me down next to Andrues. Careful not to get in the way of his healing, I grabbed Pri’s hand.

My eyes trailed down the gash that had been partially healed into a raised scar.

“It’s just a scratch,” Pri said, giving me a smile that looked more like a wince and I let my eyes lift to the other side of her body, where Wren sat with his arm around her, adorning the same bruises around his neck as Ata.

My stomach started pulsing with pain as the adrenaline wore off, the cut across my ribcage starting to throb.

“Do you think, if you still have the energy, you could help me with a cut when you’re done?” I asked in a hushed voice. Andrues nodded as he focused on the last section of Pri’s wound.

“Where are the others?” I asked, focusing back on Wren.

“They went to find a place to camp for the night,” Wren responded, exhaustion lacing his words. “They should be back soon.”

Andrues finished healing Pri’s cut, tracing the scar gently with his fingers before retracting them and turning to me.

“Where is your wound?” His strong brow furrowed slightly as he searched me. I raised my arm, lifting my shirt to show him the cut along my ribcage and across my abdomen.

He gently touched it, studying it before nodding to himself and leaning over me to heal it. I tensed as his magic ran through me, the warmth uncomfortable but welcome, in its own way. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, trying to remain still as he finished.

The loss of Andrues’s touch brought me back to the present, and I let out a sigh of relief as I ran my fingers across the tear that was now only raised tissue.

“Thank you,” I said, nodding in gratitude. Andrues smiled wearily before turning his attention to Wren and Ata.

“Let me take a look at those bruises,” he said gently, moving towards them.

I watched as he worked on them, taking a moment to appreciate his skill. My mind wandered back to the Yggdrasil and I could see it in him—how much he cared for every living thing. From what I had gathered, Andrues was one of the best healers Landers had ever met.

The sound of footsteps approached and I turned to see Taft and Ardan returning from their search. Relief flowed over Ardan’s face as he saw me, and a rush of calm seeped into me as I met his eyes with a grin. I stood as Ardan rushed over to me, pulling me into his arms and breathing me in. I choked back a sob against his chest as the warmth of him seeped into my skin.

I was so close to losing him—to losing everyone.

“Ardan and I were able to find a secluded place to camp for the next day or two, until everyone is fully healed,” Taft said, his eyes turning to where Pri was still sitting on the ground wrapped up in Wren’s arms. Her wounds were healed, but you could see on her face she was still in pain.

Dusting off his knees, Andrues stood, nodding to Taft in silent confirmation.

“We will tether there, and conserve whatever energy we have left,” Landers said, lifting my bag from the sand.

“I can help,” Pri said, pushing herself up as Wren supported her with a hand on her elbow. Andrues scowled at her. “I’m fine, really. I can sleep this off when we get there.”

Landers dipped his head, leaving the decision up to her as she reached her hand out to me.

We tethered to our camp, landing on the bank of a small river and I sighed with relief. It was so hot, and the water beside us did little to alleviate the burning rays the sun cast over the desert.

Tents were popping up around me before I could even push myself from the ground. Taft’s hand stretched out to me and I hesitated, then placed my hand in his as he pulled me to my feet.

He hadn’t said anything to me yet, but I knew it was coming. I could see it brewing in him as he looked at me. I gave him the kindest smile I could muster and moved to Ardan’s side, using our magic to set up the remaining tents.

The sun seemed to linger in the sky as we worked, its vibrant hues of orange and pink highlighting every grain of sand. The rolling dunes before us lit up like a thousand fiery candles, each flicker reflecting off of the other in an unending wave.

By the time our camp was up, the sun had finally descended and the air had become still—almost eerily so. Like the entire world had gone silent, the only sound was the gentle rush of the river flowing steadily nearby.

We sat in silence around the fire, too exhausted to speak as we scarfed down the food Pri had prepared for us the day before. I stared at my plate as the memory of the day looped in my head.

I was still trying to process what I had done when Ata broke the silence and said, “So . . . I think it’s time someone acknowledged what happened today.”

I lifted my eyes to see Ata staring at me across the fire, the flames casting shadows onto her porcelain skin, making her glow under the starlight. Pride etched into her wide smile and I beamed back at her as Ardan threw his arm around me, pulling me into his side.

“I am so proud of you,” Ardan whispered into my ear as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“You scared us,” Wren said, pushing me playfully.

Pri nodded in agreement as she reached over Wren to give my hand a gentle squeeze. The four of them were looking at me with such admiration swimming in their eyes that my cheeks flushed. I shrugged, feeling the sudden urge to run as far away from their stares as possible.

“How are all of you celebrating this?” Taft interjected, his voice hard and clipped, like a knife slicing through the conversation.

My eyes shot to him.

“Excuse you?” Ata fired back, her eyes burning into him like she hoped he would ignite.

“You threw yourself into an incredibly dangerous situation today without the expertise or experience to back it up. That was foolish and heedless and it should not be rewarded or applauded,” Taft scolded.

I fumed, anger brewing in my chest raising the temperature of my skin.

He had the audacity to treat me like I was a worthless novice. Had he forgotten that we studied together at the academy? Went through all the same drills and training? His gaze shifted away from mine, avoiding eye contact.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I stood up, my plate clattering to the ground and I took a step towards him, my fists clenched at my side.

“You have no right,” I hissed, sneering in disgust as the others stared up at me cautiously. Before I could take another breath, Taft was on his feet, towering over me as he glared down with a menacing intensity. Taft’s body seemed to swell with rage as he leaned closer, nostrils flaring.

“It had to be said! It was completely irresponsible. You never think about the consequences of your actions!” Taft roared, spittle flying from his lips. His fingers wrapped tightly around my wrist, and I tried to pull my arm away but he tightened his grasp.

“That’s enough,” Ardan spoke up, placing a hand on my shoulder before addressing Taft directly. “She did what she had to do in order for us all to survive.”

Taft balled his fists, clenching them so tight I could hear his knuckles cracking—feel my bones screaming under the pressure. The veins in his neck bulged as he slowly lost control of himself. He was about to explode, I could feel it.

“We could have found another way,” Taft growled at Ardan

“But we didn’t,” Ardan snapped, not backing down from Taft’s aggression.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Landers stand. He walked over to my side and brushed his shoulder, like he was dusting it off before crossing his arms against his chest.

“Remove your hand,” Landers said calmly, though the look he gave could kill. Taft’s bore into Landers. After a few seconds he released my hand, then took another step closer to me.

I flinched.

Landers raised a hand in the air, stopping him from coming any closer.

“If you take another step, you will not like the result of your decision.” His voice was cool—threatening. Taft opened his mouth to speak as Landers flung his fingers toward him. Taft’s eyes bulged, as his lips melted together, skin growing—clawing its way over his mouth. He pressed his fingers to his lips frantically as Landers let out a sinister chuckle and stepped toward him.

My eyes darted to Landers.

“I promised you death the last time you laid a hand on her. I will forgo that promise only once, out of respect for Hyacinth. But I can make you suffer in other ways and you will do well to remember that.” Landers’s eyes held a glint of something dark and unforgiving as he spoke.

Taft, silenced and visibly unnerved, shifted his eyes to me—pleading for release. I lifted my hand to Landers’s elbow and he immediately snapped, releasing Taft from the magic he had placed on him.

A snarl ripped from Taft’s lips and Landers lifted a brow at him as Ardan’s grasp grew tight on my shoulder, pulling me back. Taft glowered at the three of us, his mouth set in a hard line as his eyes sparked with rage. Wren strode forward, placing a hand on Taft’s shoulder, squeezing the tense muscle underneath it. Wren tilted his head to the side as Taft let out a loud sigh and let Wren pull him away from the group.

As I watched them disappear into the clear desert night, I felt the tension around me dissipate, and gasped for air. Nausea crashed over me and my stomach roiled as I tried to take deep breaths but the bile was rising.

Everything around me blurred as I doubled over, grasping my knees and retched, the putrid taste of vomit hitting my tongue.

My mind was swimming and my body was betraying me, shaking and convulsing as I struggled to keep my composure. Ata rushed to my side, rubbing her palm over the curve of my back—comforting me silently with her touch.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to croak out, my voice hoarse from the acid coating my throat. Ardan pushed a canteen of water into my hand and I sipped the cool liquid as I forced my body to straighten.

I ached. Every inch of me ached.

“Are you okay?” Ata whispered between my audible gulps. Wiping the corners of my mouth with the back of my hand, I sighed, bobbing my head in response. “Fuck him,” she scoffed and shook her head. “He is out of control.”

Her words sunk into me with so much anger and sadness as something stirred inside me.

He had always been this way, and she had never known. But he had never acted out so publicly—never in front of our friends. The longer we were out of the academy, the more I realized that, maybe, I had never loved this man.

I pulled Ata into me, our bodies colliding in an almost desperate embrace. I could feel the weight of exhaustion pressing down on my mind. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes as I held her tighter, trying to convey all the love and gratitude I felt for her in that one embrace.

She understood.

She always did.

***

I lay awake for hours, tossing and turning as I begged the Gods to let me rest—even for a moment. Landers’s voice was soft outside my tent as he said my name and I sat up straight, pulling the blanket up to my chin.

“Come in,” I said in a hushed voice as the ties loosened.

He stepped through the wide opening as the moonlight illuminated his features, highlighting his strong jawline and full lips. A warmth spread across my chest as his eyes caught mine. That beautiful smile spread slowly across his face as he walked to the edge of my bed.

“‘A woman to fear,’” Landers quoted back at me, reaching his fingers out and sliding them over my jaw—my lips. A sly smirk slid over his mouth as he placed his hand under my chin and tilted it up ever so slightly. “You.” He paused, letting his eyes slide over my mouth before meeting my gaze again. “Will bring realms to their knees.” The words escaped his lips in a deep, throaty growl. His brilliant emerald eyes darkened, hinting at something untamed simmering beneath the surface and my core ignited.

I pulled away, turning my head from him so he wouldn’t see the rose color that had blossomed on my cheeks. He chuckled in amusement at my embarrassment, then grazed his eyes over my covered body.

“How are you feeling?” His voice was gentle, carrying genuine concern. I exhaled the weight of the night, before summoning the courage to look up.

“I . . . I don’t know,” I admitted, the vulnerability in my voice revealing more than I intended. I could feel a gentle warmth radiating from his hand as it again reached out towards my face. His fingers brushed against my skin, sweeping away the stray strands of hair that had fallen across my cheek and tucking it behind my ear. My heart raced at the subtle touch, and I couldn’t help but smile as our eyes met.

“May I?” He tilted his head to the open area on my bed and I nodded.

He sat beside me, his strong frame dwarfing mine and for a long moment, we sat in silence. The tension in the air was palpable, a static electricity that crackled and hummed whenever we were near each other. He reached for my hand, pulling it into his then, finally, he spoke.

“Things have been hard for you” he said, his thumb tracing the lines in my palm. I stared down at our hands, feeling a rush of emotions wash over me as I listened to him speak. “You are stronger than you think, Hyacinth.” A current passed between us, one that had always been there but we never acknowledged.

“Thank you,” I whispered, slowly turning my hand in his until our fingers were laced.

Our eyes met again, and I noticed a spark that could have been desire lurking underneath the layers of concern.

“Do you want to talk about today?” Landers asked and I shook my head, unable to find the words to express the emotion that was eating away at me.

He nodded in understanding, pulling my forehead to his and my heart swelled at the gesture.

It was such a quiet intimacy.

Landers wrapped a muscular arm around me, pulling me closer until I was nestled against his broad chest.

I could feel the steady beat of his heart beneath my ear, calming my screaming mind. His fingers slipped down my arm in small circles, the touch breathing fire into all my senses as I tilted my chin up to meet his eyes—his face now inches from mine.

My stomach fluttered as his warm breath glided over my skin and his gaze lingered on my lips. He pulled away a few inches as his eyes searched mine.

My heart thundered in my chest. I needed to kiss him.

I needed to feel his lips on mine.

I ran my fingertips up the length of his back, stopping only for a moment when they reached the nape of his neck. Dragging my nails against the back of his head, I let his hair catch between my fingers. Landers’s jaw went taught and his eyes darkened as I brought my lips closer to his.

He didn’t say anything, but I could sense his hesitation.

Maybe he didn’t want to take advantage of me in a vulnerable moment.

Or maybe he had someone back home.

Maybe it was me. Maybe he just didn’t want me .

My heart sank at the thought, but before I could dwell on it, Landers moved closer, his hand cupping my chin as he pressed his lips against mine.

His touch burned like fire against my skin and set me alight. An electrifying shock wave ignited every nerve in my body.

His kiss was demanding, his tongue seeking entrance to my mouth. I eagerly granted it, tangling my fingers in his hair and silently begging for more.

My hands traveled down his back as he pulled me against him and a low moan escaped from deep within my throat. The sound seemed to unlock something in him and both his hands slid to my waist. In one movement, he lifted me on his lap with my legs straddling both sides of him.

His calloused hands slid over my naked thighs, his fingers pressing into my skin as my body arched against his. Every inch of my body he touched lit up. I could feel the need rushing through my veins and pooling in my center.

His palms traveled up the small of my back against my bare skin, under my nightshirt, and my own hands mimicked his movements, tracing the contours of his muscles and reveling in the softness of his skin.

Landers broke from our kiss and looked at me.

No one had ever looked at me like him, with such reverence and admiration.

I felt a surge of emotion rise in my chest, threatening to reveal itself in tears. Before they could fall, his lips were on mine, gentle—soft.

Landers’s hands slid to my waist again, this time to lift me off his lap and back onto the cot. His expression dropped as he stood, tucking me back underneath the blanket that had been strewn about the bed.

I clutched the blanket to my chest, trying to hide the nakedness I suddenly felt without his touch.

My voice trembled as I asked, “Are you okay?”

His sudden stillness and distant gaze made a lump form in my throat and I tried to swallow it down. Fear that he was already regretting touching me—kissing me—began to flood my chest. He didn’t answer, instead he paced the length of the tent.

Landers dragged a hand through his hair before he stopped and turned to face me.

“I should not have done that.” He ran a hand over his face and my heart sank as the weight of his words settled in my chest like lead.

“I see,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper as I failed to hide the embarrassment that seeped into my face.

“I do not regret it,” he finally said, taking a step towards me—his eyes never leaving mine. “You deserve better, Hyacinth.” His voice was strained as turmoil seeped into his features. Landers’s eyes softened as he reached a hand out, caressing the peak of my cheek with his thumb.

“I care about you more than I should,” he murmured, hesitating briefly before continuing. “But I am not a good man, and you deserve someone good—someone kind.” His fingers traced my jaw. “You are everything that is good in this world.” The words were almost a whisper as they left his lips.

I watched him, captivated by the emotions that flickered across his face. My head was spinning, trying to process what he was saying as he stepped back, letting his hand fall away from my face.

“Let me decide that. Let me make that choice for myself,” I blurted, searching his eyes for something—anything—to tell me he wanted this.

“I am sorry, Hyacinth. This . . . is not something I can give.” His eyes, usually bright and full of life, were now dull and empty as he stood before me with clenched fists. I could see the internal battle raging within him, torn between staying and leaving.

I couldn’t let him go, not like this.

Yet here I was, watching as he turned and walked away from me as tears rolled down my face.

As I lay back onto the cramped cot, my eyes blinked against the dim moonlight filtering through the thin tent. I pulled my blanket to my chin and wrapped myself in its embrace, hugging my knees to my chest as tears stung at the corners of my eyes.