Chapter 13

Chapter

Thirteen

Elizabeth cried herself to sleep that night, but it was for the best to keep her distance from Hays. She was impressed with her self-control, stepping away from him in the midst of such a romantic moment. She couldn't say she was proud of it, though. There was no pride in hurting Hays.

Even if they put her father in prison, she couldn't be with Hays. Her father could still get to him. Even if her father was dead, the darkness inside of her was the opposite of Hays's light. She wasn't worthy of such a kind and heroic man.

She woke early, showered and dressed, not sure what another day would bring. Being with Hays was exhilarating and at times it was impossible to keep her distance from him. She'd lied last night when she'd said they shouldn't fall for each other again. There was no need for her to fall. She was already in love with him.

But besides those stolen moments with Hays as a partially innocent eighteen-year-old, she'd never done anything for herself. Now was not the moment to be selfish and cling to Hays.

A rap came on her bedroom door. She rushed to it, anticipation filling her.

"Knock knock," Hays called through the door before she could open it.

She smiled. "Who's there?"

"Adore."

Her heart beat faster. Did he adore her?

"Adore who?"

"Adore is between us. Please let me in."

She laughed but felt the sting of disappointment. He didn't adore her. He shouldn't anyway.

Swinging the door wide, she looked over his handsome face, his strong build, and met his deep-brown eyes. There was no man to equal Hays. Not in this world. She could only imagine how women flocked to him. That made her jealous, and she quickly tamped down the emotion. She was a master at hiding her emotions, and she needed every skill she'd earned protecting others from her father to hide her longing for Hays.

"What's the plan for today?" she asked, forcing a smile.

He appraised her, his deep-brown gaze revealing his yearning for her. Had he fallen for any of the many women who'd chased him, or had he secretly always wanted her? That was selfish of her to even think.

"Anything you want to do, Liz."

Her heart thumped harder. She wanted to be with him. That was all. No. She wanted to kiss him and admit she loved him. "I'd like to work on shooting more."

"Done."

She smiled. "And I'd like to learn self-defense."

His gaze sharpened. "Has anyone hurt you, Liz?"

"Not like you're thinking, but I felt empowered shooting the gun. I'd like to feel I could protect myself."

"Okay." His eyes pierced her. "How have you been hurt?" At this moment, maybe Easton was right. Hays looked like the bad boy Aquaman instead of the mild, hidden-strength Superman. Hays was ready to avenge her every pain.

"The control and manipulation my father and mother used, the things they've made me do, made me watch, have killed my soul." She blinked. Had she just admitted to that?

Hays didn't waste any time. He stepped in, gathered her close, and held her. It wasn't a demanding hug. This touch was all about comfort. Elizabeth let out a breath and leaned into him.

The moment stretched. She was safe and loved and every joy could be theirs if only they'd stay together.

Hays eased back enough to meet her gaze. "Liz, I'm sick about what you've been through, but please believe your soul is intact and full of goodness and light."

She yanked away from him and pressed her back against the doorframe. "You have no idea what you're talking about." She didn't appreciate him lying to try to make her feel better.

Hays's eyebrows rose, but he remained calm. "I haven't been in your situation," he admitted. "My parents were loving and my home happy, but I have been in darkness. I have taken lives and lost friends in battles. I've been betrayed, manipulated, and tortured."

She flinched at his words. No! She wanted Hays to be happy and relaxed. Had he really been through all of that? "Torture?" she squeaked out.

He nodded. "I can't imagine what you've been through and how it's damaged you, but there is hope. There is light you can turn to. Our Savior has blessed, strengthened, inspired, and protected me in more ways than I could ever relay. He's healed me emotionally, spiritually, and physically many times."

"Please don't." She held up a hand, shaking her head. "I'm grateful that you can turn to heaven, but no greater power is helping me. I can't trust in heaven. I tried when I was young and only darkness came for me."

This disparity between them was exactly why they couldn't be together. Even with all he'd seen, all he'd done in the military, how powerful and even lethal he could be, Hays was light and goodness. She wouldn't drag him into the pain and misery that swirled in her soul.

Instead of looking disappointed or telling her she was wrong, Hays said, "If you ever change your mind, I'd love to talk to you more about your Savior and pray with you."

Her heart beat high and fast. She studied him. "Do you pray for me, Hays?"

His gaze was full of meaning as he stepped closer again, lowered his voice and said, "Every single prayer, Liz. Every one. Since I fell in love with you fourteen years ago."

Now her heart raced out of control. Oh, Hays. His devotion to her ran deep. "How often do you pray?"

He smiled slightly. "Morning, noon, and night, and sometimes every hour in between."

Liz swallowed hard. She had no response. He prayed for her every prayer, and he prayed often.

Hays's large palm wrapped around her hand. She was instantly comforted, safe, and soaring. How could she resist him?

"Knock knock," he said.

"Who's there?" she squeaked out of her very dry throat.

"Luke."

"Luke who?"

He moistened his lips and leaned toward her. She could smell his sea salt, citrus, and musk scent. She was transported to the beach, a vacation she'd never known, happiness and joy.

"Luke into your heart and see if there's room for me."

Elizabeth sucked in a breath. He was already in her heart. Did she dare admit that to him?

No, but she selfishly longed for one touch of his lips.

She slid her hands up around his neck and tugged his head down to hers. Hays came willingly. He softly kissed her full on the mouth, and she sighed at the sweetness of it. Leaning back slightly, his dark eyes asked a question. Could he kiss her longer?

She nodded, her heart racing out of control.

Hays angled in, capturing her mouth with his. The first kiss had been tender. This kiss was the conquering hero returning to his lady. He pinned her against the doorframe and kissed her so thoroughly she soared with happiness.

She'd wondered, and now she knew. This mature, experienced, and even more enticing Hays could command her with a kiss like not even his younger self had done.

The tingles, warmth, and joy that radiated from her mouth were a heaven she could never stay in but wanted to savor as long as she could.

Footsteps came up the stairs. Hays released her from the kiss and straightened to his full height but didn't release her from his arms.

Mama Millie hurried up to them. "Ah, there you darlings are. Sorry to interrupt." She winked and grinned. "Jared says the tree trimmers are here and he'd like you to oversee which branches they cut. Elizabeth, you can stay in the house with Easton and me until they leave."

"Be right there," Hays said.

She grinned bigger and bustled off.

Hays looked down at Elizabeth. "We'll continue this later, Liz," he said softly, but his gaze was full of desire and awe. The kisses had affected him as deeply as they had her.

She should never have let down her guard and kissed him.

"I don't believe there's anything to continue," Elizabeth said, making her voice strong and impossible to argue with.

"I do," Hays said. "You can't lie and say you don't want to be with me after a kiss like that."

Then he escorted her down the hall and the stairs. He said nothing more, but she couldn't calm her racing heart at the possibility of more kisses. Stopping in the kitchen, he gave her a meaningful look before thanking Millie and walking away.

"That man gets the heart a-thumping," Millie said with a sigh. "Almost as handsome as my Jared."

Elizabeth could only nod. Hays definitely got her heart thumping, and he was handsome. Yet what did that matter when her heart was black and his was gold? He prayed for her while she didn't pray for anything or anyone.

They had no future. How could she convince Hays of that?