Chapter 12

Chapter

Twelve

Hays was in trouble. Elizabeth distracted him far too easily. On the bank of the lake, he'd almost kissed her with Easton watching on. They hadn't been in a vulnerable position, but they were only a quarter of a mile from the river, without a grate on it.

He could only kiss her if they were inside the main house and he could let his guard down. Did he even dare kiss her then? Every touch made him more invested and wanting to forget the danger, lose his head completely, and hold and kiss her for days on end.

He walked her up to her room, checked it, then stepped back so she could enter. She paused in the doorframe, her blue eyes searching his. He wished he could eradicate the darkness lingering behind their brilliance.

Please help me know how to help her.

"Thank you for teaching me how to shoot, swinging into the lake with me, being here, and protecting me," she said. Her words were sweet, the look in her eyes even sweeter. He thought of his best friend Jagger's wife Belinda or Bee. Jagger loved to say she stung him like a bee but her honey was so sweet. Hays hadn't known sweet words, touches, or kisses since Elizabeth. He'd tried to forget her and date other women, but no one could compare to her. Not for him. So he'd given up on dating. It helped that Jagger hadn't dated either. Not until he'd found his Bee again. Now Hays was more alone than ever.

He couldn't even think of a knock-knock joke to distract himself from the longing to hold her and kiss her.

"Anything for you, Liz," he said softly. Would this Jarom they wanted to marry her off to say sappier things to her? Would she like what the rich, pretty boy said? How he touched her? Possessiveness filled Hays, and he stepped in close. He wanted to show her exactly why she should never love or touch any man but him.

"Liz." His voice deepened. "You are the only woman I have ever fallen in love with, ever wanted to be with."

She sucked in a breath, her pulse racing like mad in her neck. The moment stretched, and he hoped she'd return the words. She didn't. Her blue eyes beckoned to him and that smooth neck with her pulse thrumming was enticing.

There were so many reasons to keep an emotional and physical distance. To not kiss her. To wait until her father was imprisoned or dead and she knew Hays could and would keep her safe, knew she could choose her path and pray she wanted and loved him like he loved and wanted her.

Hays's hand lifted of its own volition and cupped her face. His thumb gently traced along her enticing lower lip. Elizabeth quivered and let out a telling whimper.

That was Hays's cue. He stepped in, his larger body overshadowing hers. He trailed his thumb and fingertips across her neck and up into her silky hair. He massaged her scalp, entangling his fingers in her hair. His entire body ached to hold her close, but he wanted her to long for him like he did for her, wanted her to choose to be with him.

Her eyes fluttered closed, and she leaned her head into his palm. She groaned and her soft lips parted.

Hays framed her waist and hip with his other hand. He tugged her closer, and she placed both of her hands on his chest. His heart raced out of control.

"I've never seen muscles like yours used for good," she said softly, staring up at him as if he were a hero.

"I want to use my muscles to protect you," he said. It sounded a lot cheesier than he'd wanted.

She smiled briefly at his wording and ran her hands up along his shoulders and around his broad back. "Hays." She swallowed hard. "I want to kiss you more desperately than anything I've ever wanted in my life."

His eyes widened and his heart slammed against his chest. "That sounds like a brilliant idea."

She didn't move, didn't release her hold on him, but she said softly, "I can't be selfish like that. You and I have no future. If we fall for each other again …" She shook her head, her eyes growing dull and sad. "It will be even more horrific when we part."

"Liz," he protested. "As soon as your father is removed from power, we can be together like I've always dreamed of." He hoped she'd had the same dreams.

She shook her head and stepped back into the room, out of his reach. "Even if my father was dead, I wouldn't be able to be with you." Her eyes were sad but resolved.

The door closed, and his heart hurt almost as much as when she'd turned him away and had her guards beat him. Why couldn't she be with him? She wanted him. He could see that in her eyes.

He wanted to tell her there was no ‘if we fall for each other again.' Not for him.

He'd already fallen fourteen years ago, and even the pain of their separation hadn't stopped him from loving her.

She must not feel the same, or she would have explained why they couldn't be together and let him pave the way to change that statement. He could infiltrate the Taliban or take down a dictatorship, but he was failing at securing the love of his life's heart.

Hays turned to his room with heavy steps. His Liz was right here, like he'd dreamed of for years, and still she was out of his grasp. He dropped to his knees and prayed. Only heaven could help him find a way into Elizabeth's closed-off heart.