CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

RYDER

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My eyes dip as I drop my chin to my chest. These hospital chairs are uncomfortable as hell, but I'm not moving.

I'm not going anywhere.

Savannah has been out of surgery for three hours and the nurses and doctors are in and out every thirty minutes.

She was shot in the upper chest, but it missed any important bits, including her heart.

Thank fuck.

I feel like it got mine instead.

Gina, the fucking waste of a human being, will be locked up for most of her adult life.

I make no apologies.

I meant what I said to Gina. She should have loved her friend.

For someone so famous, all Savannah ever wanted was her family and friends to love her. Well, as it turns out, I do. I think I knew it from the moment I saw her. I've just been fighting it.

Chances are I'll be doing it from the sidelines but I'm okay with that if it means she wakes the hell up and lives.

After all, I failed her.

I should've insisted that I be at the house this morning when she had her team meeting. With a number of her team listed as suspects of the threats she's been receiving, I shouldn't have left her alone.

Savannah said she was safe at home. That it was a team meeting. Asking what could happen with everyone there and her guards out front?

Well, we know the fucking answer to that now, don't we?

She could get shot by an insane former best friend. A sociopath.

And it wasn't her call. I was in charge of protecting her.

And I failed.

I hear a noise and my eyes shoot open.

"Fucking hell," I whisper, rubbing my face. "I could have shot you."

Josh smirks. "You wish."

"You hope." I smile.

US Navy SEAL vs. Delta.

Even though I've never confirmed it—and can't—our unspoken competitive banter is always there.

Josh steps farther into the room and stands over her bed for a moment. "What's the update?"

"Blood transfer. Surgery to remove the bullet. She should recover, but the next twenty-four hours are crucial."

He nods. Then he glances around the room. "Where is her family?"

I shake my head. "I don't know, man. But if this was her last will and testament reading, I can tell you where they'd be. Right fucking here." I growl.

"Jesus," Josh curses. He watches her some more, then turns to me.

I read his mind.

He wants to know what happened between us and it's time to confess.

"Yes, I'm in love with her. Yes, I will hand in my resignation," I say, despite what Aidan said to me today. I don't give a fuck about money. I have more than enough.

I broke the rules and would do it again a million times to share that time again with her.

"I should just fucking scrap that clause." Josh sighs. "It's not going to stop any of us. If we want a woman, we're taking her."

Yup.

I softly snort out a laugh and stand, sliding my hands into my pockets. "Yeah." But it's not that simple for her and me. "But she's not mine. Savannah belongs to her fans."

We stand there silently, both of us staring at the movie star lying in her hospital bed.

There's a heaviness as I take in the woman I was tasked with protecting and how I've failed my friend. His business reputation is at stake here as well.

"I'm sorry," I say into the silence of the room.

He knows what I mean.

"This is different. From before. You know that, right?" Josh asks.

I don't reply. Because it is, but it's not.

"Ryder." He presses.

"Nah, it's not. I should have trusted my instincts and been there with her this morning," I say, then turn to him. "That day, in the desert. I knew. I had a heavy lump in my gut. The same feeling I had this morning."

"You're not a psychic, Ryder. She's going to live. I don't know the details of the first event, but I can guess. Those fuckers don't value life." Josh growls.

He's right, they don't. They see it as a sacrifice, blah fucking blah.

The asshole killed his wife, child, and himself, along with innocent bystanders that day. And no good came from it.

Not one single good thing came from it.

Except protecting more terrorists who then killed more people.

Rinse and repeat.

But I could have trusted my instincts and turned up at Savannah's this morning to do my job. In truth, I was more focused on meeting with my team and making sure any concerns about my relationship with her were diluted.

Stupid.

Fucking stupid.

"You did work it out. If you hadn't, Savannah would have bled out in her home and be dead right now," he adds.

"Yeah." I nod.

Josh is right. It's not the same, but I still feel like I let her down. She's lying in a hospital bed because I wasn't guarding her.

Nothing can change that fact.

He claps me on the back. "Come on. You need to sleep, Ry. Let me take you home."

I shake my head. "You SEALs, so weak. I'll sleep on the damn floor."

He chuckles.

"Dick. I hope you wake with a sore neck."

We share a smile, and my best friend walks out.

––––––––

SIX HOURS LATER, I wake up and yeah, my neck is sore. Josh is a damn sorcerer.

I open my eyes and a nurse is standing over Savannah, giving her a sip of water through a straw.

She's awake?

I stand too quickly and let out a curse, then crack my back. The nurse turns and her eyes run the length of my body.

Yeah, I'm used to that.

I removed my vest—it's lying on the ground next to me—so I'm wearing my Black Hawke Security black t-shirt, black cargo pants, and a pair of Nikes.

She's either attracted or intimidated by my size and tattoos. Either way, I'm not interested.

I walk to the other side of the bed and Savannah's eyes follow me.

"Hey, sweetheart." I try to say softly but my voice is rough and dry.

Savannah starts blinking and tears fill them.

"Just take it easy with your wife." The nurse says, then gives me the I know she's not your wife look.

Everyone knows who Savannah Sinclair is. I was sure as her bodyguard I would be allowed in with her, but I wasn't taking chances. So I lied.

Too bad.

Afterward, I told the ward manager that I was her bodyguard and that because of who she was, she would require twenty-four-hour protection.

Whatever. I wasn't going anywhere.

"Wife?" Savannah's voice is crackly.

I shrug. "Max needs a mom."

The nurse gives her one more drink and then puts the cup on the table. "Try not to talk too much."

Savannah nods, and I sit on the edge of her bed and take her hand.

"I'm alive." She says, and a tear slides down her face.

"You are." I smile.

"I thought I was going to die." Her chest hitches as the emotions come rolling out.

"So did I." My own voice is breaking. "So the fuck did I." I lean down and pull her into my arms, as she loops hers around my neck.

"I'm so goddamn sorry I wasn't there to protect you." I growl into her neck. "I'm never listening to you again."

"I was so scared, Ryder. So scared I'd never see you again." Savannah rasps.

I loosen my hold and lift my head, gazing down at her. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Which is a lie.

Before reality crashes down on us, and our worlds split apart, I lower my mouth to hers and gently kiss her lips. Letting all the love I feel for this woman flow from me into her heart.