CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

"Look, I know I shouldn't have come over," Dom said on Sunday night, the words a little muffled against Shea's throat. "But I had to see you."

It had been such a long fucking week.

And then Shea had gone silent on him for part of the weekend and Dom just … just needed this. Needed to breathe Shea in and feel the hard press of their bodies together.

"Yeah?" Shea sighed, slotting his thigh between Dom's.

"Yeah. It's been too long." Dom pressed another kiss to his jaw, shivering at the scrape of facial hair against his lips.

"It has." Shea's palms were warm against his shoulder blades before he dragged them down to cup Dom's ass.

"How was your weekend?" Dom tugged Shea's shirt free from his jeans and slid a hand underneath, his nose filling with Shea's scent, warm and familiar and so right. "How'd it go with your family? You were pretty quiet last night and this morning."

"I know." Shea closed his eyes, tilting his head, which gave Dom better access to his neck. "Sorry. I was trying to give them my full attention. It was interesting though, I'll say that. It went a lot better than I expected actually. I'll tell you more about that later."

"Yeah?" Dom pulled back far enough to grin at him. "Have something else you want to do now instead?"

"I might," Shea said, grinning back. "What about you? How was your weekend?"

"Mmm, had quite the discussion with the boys. I'll tell you all about that later too." Dom reached for Shea's zipper and eased it down. "I think I have some other things to do first. Like tell you I did my homework assignment."

"Oh, did you now?" Shea let out a little gasp when Dom slid his hand into Shea's jeans and toyed with his cock through the fabric.

"Mm-hmm. You asked me to come up with something we could do that wouldn't hurt my back that we've never tried before. Well, I want you to fuck me."

Shea froze, wetting his lips. "Really?"

"Really. I mean, maybe it's boring but—"

"No, God." Shea bucked into his grip. "I'd love to. But you've never asked for it. It was fine if you didn't want to but it's not like I never thought about it. I wasn't sure if you were strictly a top or—"

"No," Dom admitted, shifting away just far enough to slide between the stretchy fabric of Shea's briefs and his stomach. His cock was hard now, impressively so.

Dom rubbed his thumb across the head, smearing the wetness that he found there, then gently stroking, making Shea moan.

"I like being fucked," Dom admitted. "Just didn't want to go that route when I didn't know you or trust you."

It hit him suddenly that Shea hadn't known or trusted him at that time either. And he'd still allowed Dom into his body. Of course, the money had made a difference. But he hoped now that Shea had never regretted it.

"You didn't mind, did you?" he asked, suddenly concerned. "Always being the one to—to get fucked."

Shea looked him in the eye, cupping his cheek, his expression soft but a little surprised. "No, of course not. But if you want to try something new, I'm into that."

"Yeah. I don't know what position would be best. And it's been a long time so you might have to go slow, but I want that."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck." Shea kissed him slowly, lingering for a moment before he pulled away. "God. I'm going to make it so good for you."

"I know." Dom let out a sigh. "I know you will."

That was one thing he'd never doubted about Shea.

Shea's hands shook as he stripped Dom of his clothes and led him into the bathroom. "Want some privacy while you clean up?" he murmured.

Dom hesitated. "No. Not unless you want me to—be more thorough."

Shea shook his head. "Nah. Not unless you want to."

In the shower, they kissed, running soapy hands across each other's bodies. Dom moaned, pressing his face into the side of Shea's neck when he grazed between his cheeks.

Shea explored Dom's ass for the first time, feeling shivery and hot.

The sounds Dom made as Shea grazed across his opening made Shea painfully hard but he forced himself to go slow, just teasing a little, learning what Dom liked and what he didn't.

Shea kept it gentle and easy, enjoying the way Dom's hands tightened on his hips. The angle was awkward to go deep so he merely teased and toyed with Dom's entrance until Dom was hard against his stomach, panting against his neck.

But when Shea slid a hand between their bodies, Dom lifted his head. His cheeks were flushed, his hair a tangled mess, his eyes heavy-lidded. "Don't. I want to last."

Shea had to kiss Dom for that, hard and dirty, one finger still shallowly fucking him in preparation for what was to come.

Dom pulled back. "Shea …" There was a warning note in his voice.

Shea grinned, sliding his finger out of Dom's body, then patting his ass. "Yeah. Sorry."

Shea turned off the water and was suddenly reminded of the night of the fire, although there were no heated towels or king-size bed this time.

But there was Dom standing beside his bed, naked, his skin glistening in spots where he hadn't quite dried off, his body lean and honed, deceptively strong.

Shea drank in the cut of his hips, the faint shadow of his abs, the light trail of hair that led to his cock, already flushed at the tip.

Shea's mouth was dry as he pulled back the sheets and stacked several pillows. Shea patted a spot at one end of the tower of pillows and Dom knelt on the bed, lips parted as he walked on his knees to get into position.

Shea knelt too, by Dom's hip, and ran a hand across his shoulders, admiring the width of them while he gently pressed Dom to fold so his chest and stomach were supported by the pillows.

Shea murmured softly, guiding Dom to widen his knees and drape his arms over the pillows until his elbows were askew, flat against the sheet, and he was supported with little effort or strain.

Goosebumps broke out on Dom's skin as Shea ran his hands across Dom's back and ass. Dom closed his eyes, resting his cheek on the back of his hand as Shea reached for the lube.

He slicked his fingers, then traced along the seam between Dom's cheeks.

Dom tensed but Shea made a soothing noise and he relaxed, lips parting. Shea leaned in, kissing his shoulder briefly, and those lips curved in a small smile.

Something tender welled up in Shea's chest and he suddenly knew this had nothing to do with sex. It was Dom's offer of trust .

Shea had always prided himself on giving people what they needed but this was so much more than that.

So much deeper.

Shea brushed his fingers across Dom's hole, slick and teasing. Dom's breath caught and he bit his lip so Shea slid away, and then did it again. Over and over until Dom shifted his hips restlessly, finally seeking out the touch.

Shea slipped a finger into Dom, softly, easily, and Dom's lashes fluttered, a little breath escaping, but he didn't tense so Shea kept going, enjoying the smooth, easy glide and the quiet sounds Dom made.

He crooked his finger, knew the moment he grazed that sensitive spot inside, because Dom gasped, shoulders bunching.

"Good?" Shea checked.

Dom let out a choked little noise. "Good. So fucking good."

Shea tenderly smoothed a hand over Dom's damp hair, stroking as he slid his finger out and added a second.

Dom tensed then, just briefly, before he softened.

Shea wanted to say things, like how beautiful Dom was like this, how much it meant that he trusted him so much, and was letting himself be vulnerable, but he was afraid of saying the wrong thing, of making Dom retreat, so he kept working his fingers inside Dom, toying with his rim, coaxing him to open.

When Dom's cheeks were pink and his back was flushed with sweat, Shea eased his fingers out, wiping them on a towel.

He shifted to kneel between Dom's calves, rolled the condom on, then placed a hand on Dom's hip. He flinched, then took a deep breath.

"This position okay?" Shea asked, rubbing softly at his lower back. "You ready for this?"

"Yeah." Dom's voice was a little hoarse.

Shea slid his hand up, fingers skating across a little constellation of freckles on Dom's shoulder blade that he'd never noticed before. He smiled, liking that there were still new things to discover about him. "Tell me if you want me to stop," Shea urged.

"No, don't stop," Dom rasped.

At this angle, Dom's face was blocked by his shoulder, so Shea watched his body language while he eased inside, the heat and pressure making his head swim. He went slow but Dom took steady, even breaths and it wasn't long before Shea was buried inside him.

I love you , he thought, a sudden, piercing feeling blooming in his chest, painful and beautiful all at once.

But he kept silent, continuing his slow, sweeping strokes across Dom's body, easing out before gliding in. Softly, gently, but the sensations were so exquisitely intense that sweat beaded up on Shea's forehead and across his shoulders.

Dom shifted, turning his head to center and arching his neck. His hair fell forward in damp little curls, exposing the nape of his neck and Shea bent forward, pressing his lips to the vulnerable knob of Dom's spine.

"Good?" Shea whispered and Dom shivered, trembling under him.

"Good," he croaked but the word seemed to contain a multitude of feelings.

"Tell me if that changes." Shea braced a hand on the mattress and began to thrust with deep, even strokes, gaining speed.

Dom responded beautifully, groaning with pleasure and allowing Shea to control the pace. When the sounds Dom made were closer to a sob than a moan, Shea slipped a hand between Dom's body and the pillows. His cock was hard, weeping at the tip, and Shea toyed with his foreskin, tugging it a little, until Dom made a desperate little noise.

"Please … God, Shea, I'm so close."

Shea's palm was dry but Dom didn't seem to mind. He stroked slowly, working Dom's cock as he thrust into him. He fucked Dom until he was trembling, letting out the most desperate, pleading sounds Shea had ever heard.

Dom came suddenly and with little warning, gasping out his release, his hole so tight around Shea's cock that he gasped too, fingers biting into Dom's side as his own release hit.

Shea's hips stuttered, all coordination lost as pleasure roared through him, too sudden and overwhelming to hold back.

"Dom," he gasped against his skin, eyes suddenly wet, overcome. "Dom, I …"

But he couldn't continue so he pressed his lips to Dom's shoulder and let the orgasm wash away everything he hadn't said aloud.

Shea lay heavy against Dom's back and he shifted, trying to get his knees under him.

"Sorry," Shea muttered and the heavy pressure disappeared as Shea sat up.

Wanting to see Shea's face, Dom tried to turn but when he rotated his torso, he felt a sudden twinge, a sharp contraction of a muscle in his back.

He let out a gasp but Shea's thumb was already there, digging into the pressure point, the pain intense enough to make him grunt before it faded so quickly it was like it was never there.

Dom collapsed, letting the pillows take all of his weight, and Shea pressed gentle fingertips to his hip, warning him before he eased out of his body.

The sudden, tender emptiness made Dom grimace, but he was too relaxed to protest. He carefully rolled onto his side, aware of the sticky wetness on his stomach, cold now that it was exposed to the air.

He fumbled ineffectually for something to clean up with and Shea laughed, his face bright and happy.

"Shut up," Dom grumbled, flopping back onto the pillows and giving up. "This is your fault."

"I've just never seen you quite this out of it."

"You should take it as a compliment."

"Trust me, I do." Shea gave him a soft look.

"Hey. Why are you so far away? C'mere," Dom said, his head still hazy, his body content. The only thing missing was Shea being close.

Shea leaned in, kissing him. It was a little clumsy because they were both smiling. Dom couldn't seem to stop.

"We did okay for our first time trying that, I think." Shea chuckled and drew back, turning away to dispose of the condom.

"Yeah," Dom said thickly. "We did okay."

That was the understatement of the century.

God, why had he waited so long to do this with Shea? And what else had they been missing out on?

Shea pulled a towel out from the tangle of sheets, then swiped at the mess on Dom's body with it. Dom took it and cleaned himself the best he could, wincing at the drag of terrycloth against the sensitive head of his cock.

He'd need to get up at some point, wipe away the lube with a wet cloth, but for now, this was enough.

Shea made a face at the pillows he'd been inspecting and Dom guessed they were probably in needed of a good cleaning since Dom had come all over them. With a shrug, Shea tossed them off the bed like it didn't matter.

Shea flopped onto the mattress on his back with a contented noise, making something tumble to the floor.

The lube probably.

Dom rolled toward Shea, draw in by the heat his body radiated and the desire to be closer. Shea wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in tight.

"Good suggestion," Shea murmured, turning his head to briefly kiss Dom's forehead.

Dom smiled, wondering if anyone had ever kissed him there and he thought probably not. Not since he was a small child. He settled a hand on Shea's stomach, his skin a little damp.

Honestly, they probably needed another thorough shower. Dom would get right on that once he could feel his legs again.

"Yeah? Not too boring?" he asked.

Shea scoffed. "God no. This wasn't what I expected but it was … I've been thinking about it for a long time."

"Why didn't you say something to me?" Dom asked, shifting until his head was more comfortably arranged on Shea's shoulder.

"Because it was … it was your call."

Dom winced. "Because I pay you?"

Shea pulled away far enough to look him in the eye. "Because I know intimacy is hard for you and I didn't want to push."

"Oh." Dom wet his lips, settling his head on the one remaining pillow. "What … how do you know that?"

Shea snorted, resting his head on the pillow beside Dom's. "It's not exactly hard to tell, Dom."

"I guess I am bad at it," he admitted. "Though, I did come out to some of my team so that has to count for something, right?"

"What?" Shea sputtered, rising up on one elbow. "That's huge . Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were busy with your family shit." Dom shrugged. "It wasn't important."

Shea scowled like he didn't agree with that. "How did it go?"

"It was … fine, I guess. It didn't kill me."

Shea chuckled. "It was a big weekend for me too. My dad and I talked. Hashed out some shit."

"Yeah? How'd that go?"

"It was awkward but good. I think we made some progress. I came out to him too, actually."

"Guess it was the weekend for that," Dom said drily. "How'd he take the news that you're gay?"

Shea pulled back far enough to look him in the eye and frowned. "I'm not gay, Dom."

"What?" Dom blinked. "But you … I thought …"

"Fuck." Shea pulled away and propped his back against the headboard. "Okay, so, I'm straight."

"Uhh." Dom looked down at their naked bodies. "You could have fooled me."

"Well, I thought I was, anyway. I—I was always attracted to women. Always. And then … and then I learned how much escorts who slept with men made."

Dom stared at him with growing horror. "You aren't—you just did it for the money?"

Shea stared at the ceiling. "No. Maybe? At first, yeah."

"With me ?"

Shea winced. "You weren't my first but you were one of the first, so … yeah."

Dom felt a little sick. "And you weren't into men at all? But how did you … did you have to take something to get hard or …?"

"No, no, I never took anything. I didn't need to. I was fucking nervous the first time but um, the guy wanted to fuck me so Audra coached me through using a toy and … look, it doesn't matter. I never did anything I didn't want to do."

"But you did it for the money," Dom said dully.

"And you've fucked up your back for money," Shea snapped. "Is that so different?"

Dom could argue that it was his love of hockey and his desire to win that made it different but in the end, maybe not. Maybe they both sold their bodies in different ways and what was he doing being such a judgmental prick about this?

"No, I guess not," he admitted with a sigh.

"I had sex and it felt good, and people paid me well for it."

"I paid you well." I am paying you well now, he thought.

"Yes." Shea met his gaze, challenging him.

A thousand questions crowded Dom's tongue, choked his voice, made his words feel impossible to force out, so he remained silent.

"Over the years, my feelings about my sexuality changed. I look at men differently now, I enjoy sex with them, so, honestly, I don't know what to call myself," Shea said eventually. "I suppose bi is the closest but I've always … you know, for years I thought about my life after I was done working as an escort and I assumed it was a woman I'd end up with."

"Oh." Dom swallowed hard. "That's—I didn't realize that."

God, he'd spent this whole time thinking Shea was just like him but he wasn't. And not that it mattered … or did it? Did that change things?

Did Dom want them to change?

He felt odd and shaky, like he'd been flattened into the boards and couldn't quite get enough oxygen in his lungs.

He knew that things had been different since the fire. It had felt different between them, and he'd started to think about Shea being more than someone he paid. More than someone who was convenient and safe.

And he'd thought things were changing for Shea too. But maybe he'd been wrong.

Did it mean something that Shea had told his family that he was bi or was that simply a coincidence?

Maybe Dom had imagined that things had changed. Or maybe they'd only changed for him .

He knew the logical thing to do was to ask Shea about it, see how he felt. See if maybe he wasn't completely alone in all of this.

But what if Shea said no? What if he said they should stop seeing each other?

Then what?

"Why did you tell them?" Dom asked. "Your family, I mean."

"It felt like the right time," Shea said simply.

"Well, did it go okay?" Dom frowned.

"Yeah, you know, everyone was surprised but ultimately pretty supportive. It went better than I expected but it was probably pointless." Shea laughed and there was something odd and bitter in it. He didn't look over at Dom at all.

"Pointless? Why?"

"It's … look, it's not important. Forget I said anything."

Dom scowled. He was pretty sure it was important but he wasn't going to force Shea into talking about something he didn't want to discuss.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad it went well," he said.

Shea gave him a half-hearted smile. "Yeah. Thanks."

A thousand questions crowded Dom's tongue, but the cum had dried on his skin, pulling it tight and making it itch.

"I should … I should probably get cleaned up and head home," Dom said. He needed some time to digest everything that they'd done. Everything Shea had said. What that all meant for the two of them.

Shea turned to look at him. "You sure? You can spend the night, if you want. I'm sure Audra will be happy to walk you out again."

"No, I need a little time to think. And it would be better if we didn't have to go through all that again," Dom said slowly. "Things are already complicated enough."