8. Kevin

KEVIN

“Are you sure?” I asked, trying hard not to wring my hands together. The last thing Lexi needed was to know how nervous I was to leave her with CJ. Especially since it wasn’t him specifically. I’d never left my girl with anyone but my mom, Margie, and her and George’s two oldest children. CJ probably thought I was being dramatic, which was a possibility, but this was new and happening so quickly.

As CJ continued opening Play-Doh for him and Lexi to play with, he smiled reassuringly. “This is perfect. I would’ve asked you to find somewhere to go today or tomorrow for a while anyway, especially since you’ll be working from home most of the time. We need time to bond, and she’ll need to adjust to the fact that I’m her go-to person when you’re working.”

“But you just got here. You haven’t even had time to unpack or anything.”

CJ grinned. “That’s fine. I can do it later.”

Lexi turned around in her chair, looking at me around the side. “Daddy, you go, so’s CJ and I can pay.”

I sighed in defeat. “Okay, Lex-Lex.” I picked my computer bag up off of the counter, went over, smoothed down her riot of curls, and kissed her head. “Daddy will see you later.”

My gaze went to CJ, and he held up his cellphone. “Your number is programmed in. If we have any problems or I have any questions, I promise to text you immediately.”

“If it’s an emergency, just call.”

The larger man smiled at me sweetly. “I will, I promise,” he said, still sounding incredibly patient. My daughter, on the other hand, looked ready to revolt if I didn’t get the hell out of there and quit interrupting her playtime with her new friend.

A quick glance up at the kitchen clock confirmed that I’d be late for the meeting at work if I didn’t get on the road, so I forced myself to give Lexi one more round of hugs and kisses and leave. To say I was distracted on my drive to work and through my co-worker’s presentation would be an understatement.

So many thoughts swirled through my head. What if Lexi hated me being gone? What if she did something epic and I missed it because I hadn’t brought her with me? Okay, in all fairness, normally I’d have asked Margie to watch her for this anyway, which meant she still wouldn’t have been with me, but that wasn’t the point.

And what about CJ? Yes, he’d had amazing references, but I didn’t know him-know him. My mind flashed to the feel of his cock pushing into me, and my flesh heated. So maybe I knew some things about him, like how kind and silly and unbelievingly tempting he could be, but that didn’t have anything to do with hiring him to watch my kid.

For fuck’s sake, the man had arrived this morning with a rolling suitcase, a backpack, and a duffle bag. To live in my house, with me and my daughter. Where had my brain gone? Why had I even allowed it? Sure, he sounded like he really loved his job, and the passionate way he spoke left me with no doubts that he was good at it—very, very good at it—but I didn’t need a full-time live-in babysitter. How had I gone from the father determined to have and do it all to this?

“Knock. Knock. Meeting’s over.”

Jerking my mind from where it had wandered, I noticed my unconscious movements. Holy shit! I wadded up the piece of paper where I’d written or drawn CJ’s name in bubble letters what looked like a million times. Seriously, what was wrong with me?

George snorted. “Too late, my friend. I already saw your middle-school-esque love doodles.”

“They aren’t…that.”

His beefy hand landed on my shoulder. “You can tell me all about it in my office.”

I finally realized that everyone else had left the conference room, so I shoved my notepad into my bag as I stood up. “Actually, I don’t have time for that. I need to get home to check on Lexi.”

George’s hand tightened. “Nope. You’re not getting away from me that easily. The text you sent to the group chat was cryptic, so your mom and Margie have put me in charge of finding out the details. Besides, I can’t let you drive right now. You’re a wreck.”

“But I won’t be once I get home to Lexi,” I said, trying to argue for my freedom as George used his body to propel me into his office.

“Sit.” He pushed me down into my normal chair across from his desk right as my cell phone chirped.

I opened it quickly, panicked that something dire had happened, and found a picture of Lexi holding her newest creation in one hand with a beaming smile on her face. I exhaled the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

“Is that a truck made out of Play-Doh?” George asked, bending down to look at the screen over my shoulder.

“It sure looks like it.” The body of her sculpture was a long pink, sort of rectangle shape, sitting on rolled-up green balls that were approximately the same size, even if they weren’t all the same size, and an extra hunk of orange Play-Doh on the front of the truck to resemble what I thought might be the cab.

George grunted and walked around his desk. “Explain.”

I wanted to say that I didn’t have time for this, but another glance at the phone disproved that. Lexi was fine. She was having fun, and it had been considerate of CJ to send that picture. He knew I was freaking out about leaving her.

Hell, based on the insecurity on his face this morning when I answered the door, he hadnt been too sure I’d go through with the live-in manny thing at all. Honestly, until the minute I’d opened the door and saw him standing there, looking a little hesitant but hella hopeful, I hadn’t been sure I wouldn’t tell him that I’d changed my mind.

After sending CJ a thank you, I saved the picture and then steeled myself to face George. He quirked his eyebrow. “What? You all told me I needed help, so I hired someone.”

“We did. This is true, but according to your mom, you had no intention of hiring a live-in person. Which, why would you? You don’t have to work more than forty hours a week, there’s no traveling, and your mom lives with you for part of the year and is around to help out a little more, so I’m not sure what happened. Or why you didn’t call me or Margie, or, I don’t know, your mother to discuss your decision. All we got was, Hired a manny. He’s moving in tomorrow morning. And then, when we tried to reply to you, it said your notifications were set to silent. That’s not like you, Kevin. What’s happening?”

He wasn’t wrong. Even when Lexi was napping as a baby, I’d only turned my ringer down to low. Between my father’s health battle, the surrogate’s pregnancy, and then my mom becoming a widow, I’d always stayed available.

Then there was my team. With how much we all worked from home, they had to be able to reach me if any problems arose that might hinder whatever project they were working on. But last night, I just couldn’t. I needed time to try and figure out where the hell my head was at. It hadn’t worked.

“Talk it out, buddy,” George said in that fatherly way he had with me. My friend wasn’t that much older than me, but he was an old soul. He’d married his high school sweetheart and began building a career and a family while most people his age were still focused completely on themselves.

George had a full life, and he loved those he cared about hard, and I’d been lucky enough to be one of those people. He’d held my hand through so many things, including relationships gone wrong, most notably the disaster with Tom, and he’d never judged me or shown me anything less than total support.

“The first two interviews were awful. There was no way I could’ve entrusted Lexi to either one of them, even with being in the house the majority of the time. I did that last interview, hoping that if the guy was the right fit, I could see if him not living in our house was a possibility.”

“And?”

“And I knew him, George. I met him the night that Mom watched Lexi so that I could go out, and—” I felt my face flush.

George chuckled. “Oh, I know what you went out for.”

“Shut up. Anyway, we had a really, really nice time, and I was kind of bummed that I didn’t at least get his number or something, but then I thought, why? I never had any luck with a relationship before I became a father. Tom made it more than clear having a child thrown in the mix wasn’t going to do me any favors..”

“We’re not even discussing that asshole. He was a selfish—” George stopped himself and took a deep breath. “Forget him.” Expression turning intrigued, George rested his forearms on his desk and leaned forward. “So you’re telling me the guy that you hooked up with is a professional babysitter?”

“Manny,” I corrected. “He’s a manny, and he loves it and played trucks with Lexi before I even let him in the front door. And she seems so comfortable with him already. And he doesn’t have a place of his own, so he’d have to live with his parents if I didn’t give him Mom’s room, and now I’m going to have to fire him when Mom comes back, which makes me feel like a complete dick, because I shouldn’t have even hired him if I knew I didn’t have a place for him to stay year-round. And what if Lexi really ends up liking him? She’ll be broken-hearted all because I got swept up in…” I trailed off.

“Swept up in what?” George asked softly, nudging me to really lay it all out there.

Slumping back in the chair, I admitted to him what I’d been shying away from internally. “I like him, okay? The night I met him seemed…magical. And maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part. Maybe it’d just been so long since I felt a man’s touch?—”

“Woah, woah, woah. I don’t need details, friend. Not unless you want me to give you some specifics about my and Margie’s?—”

I held up my hand. “No.” I dropped my hand back into my lap. “I’m probably overthinking that night, and now I’m overthinking the fact I hired him and moved him in, and I’m so rattled. I’m not impulsive, George. You know I’m not. But…he was telling me how he got into this profession, and he was even better looking and kinder than I remembered, and I… Well, I hired him on the spot and then watched him and Lexi play Lexi-ville.”

“Lexi-ville?”

“Yes.” I went on to describe the town and roadways that CJ had helped Lexi create and how much fun they had. She’d vroomed and giggled right until CJ left. She’d been half-asleep by the time dinner was over and had gone to bed with no issues. It would’ve been a great night to get some work done, but instead, I’d sat in the chair next to her bed, staring into space, wondering what in the hell I’d done.

Once I fell silent, George cleared his throat, then tipped back in his chair with a shit-eating grin. “Sounds like you should’ve told him no on the job and then asked for his number. He sounds like the exact type of man you should be dating.”

I shook my head frantically from side-to-side. “I can’t date him now. He works for me. That’s like, unethical or something.”

He snorted. “So what’s next?”

Wasn’t that the million-dollar question.

George knocked his fist against the desk. “Well, if you’re determined not to go for him, and you’re going to let Lexi have him as her new bestie, when your mom comes back, you can always convert your office into a room for him. I mean, between the two of them, you won’t really need it. You can come to the office during the day, get your stuff done, and head on home.”

I didn’t want to admit that I’d already considered that since it seemed a little overkill. How many adults should it take to watch one little girl? George coughed into his hand. “Or move your desk into the living room.”

I reared back. “That’s Lexi’s playroom.”

George smiled at me fondly, but something lurked behind his eyes that I didn’t quite understand. “I know it is, buddy.” He shook his head. “Maybe don’t worry about it for now. You have plenty of time before your mom comes home. You never know where things will be by then.”

I groaned. Don’t worry about it? Had he met me? “You’re right. I’ll just go with the flow,” I said, forcing a smile.

Based on his bark of laughter, he didn’t believe I could do that anymore than I did.

I washome by lunchtime with four pictures saved in my phone that CJ had sent me from their morning. Lexi had been excited to see me until he’d placed a plate with a grilled cheese sandwich cut into triangles, skinless apple wedges, and carrots with a pink dipping sauce on the table in front of her. Instead of asking out loud, I texted him and asked about the pink stuff on her plate, and he’d sent back that it was ranch dressing with pink food coloring and a winky-face emoji.

I hated to admit how many times I’d checked that message or how my stomach swooped each time I did.

Since they’d been doing fine, I’d gone up to my office to work for the rest of the afternoon. I still wasn’t sure how coexisting with him would be. I’d never been the most boisterous person, so I suspected I wouldn’t even have to worry about him still living here by the time my mom came back. My awkwardness would probably run him off well before then.

At around four-thirty,the smell of garlic and herbs wafted into my office. I’d gotten so much work done and was still well ahead of schedule, so I followed my nose down to the kitchen. My stomach growled at the aroma permeating the whole downstairs.

“Hi, Daddy,” Lexi said as I entered the room. She wore an apron and chef hat that I couldn’t remember seeing before, and she waved a child-sized wooden spoon over her head.

“Hey, Lex-Lex. What are you doing?” I walked over to peek into the bowl in front of her on the counter. It was filled with an oily liquid and herbs.

“Your daughter is making the dip for the Italian bread,” CJ said as he pulled a pan out of the oven.

“What are we having?”

“Baked ziti, bread, and a salad. Your little miss saw a family eating it on one of the cartoons we watched after nap time, and she said it was her favorite. I checked to see if you had all the ingredients, and since you did, we got to work.”

“Yeah, Daddy. I help CJ. I’m his soup chef.”

CJ and I smiled at each other over the top of her head. Then he winked, and my stomach fluttered. Goodness. The guy was being friendly, doing nothing more than sharing a cute moment with me regarding my kid, and I wanted to melt into a puddle of goo. I was ridiculous.

Trying to find my footing, I said, “CJ, I meant it when I said I didn’t expect you to cook.”

He shrugged, smiling. “I enjoy it.” He frowned suddenly. “I don’t want to overstep, though. If it’s something you like to do, then I’ll stick to only making the meals when you’re not available.”

Rolling my lips in, I scrunched my nose. “Can I be completely honest with you?”

“Of course.”

“I hate cooking. My food is passable at best.”

A line formed between his eyebrows. “But you have the stepstool for Lexi and all those fresh ingredients. I assumed you spent a lot of time in the kitchen.”

I nodded. “We do, but that’s because I want her to have healthy meals and snacks. Before I had her, I lived on sandwiches and frozen TV dinners.”

He gasped. “Frozen meals are disgusting.”

I laughed. “Oh no, don’t tell me you’re a food snob.”

“One hundred percent. And proud of it. Then you tell me when you want to cook. Otherwise, please let me do this. I really do enjoy it.”

“We’ll see.” I’d much prefer he did it, but I didn’t want to take advantage of him. Cooking meals was on the list of tasks that he provided, but I’d assumed that was for when the parents weren’t home. I’d never expected that to be a perk for me, too. “What can I do to help?”

He grabbed dishes off the counter with napkins and cutlery placed on top. “Why don’t you set the table?”

I placed the larger one at my spot and a small Little Pony plate on Lexi’s table mat. Walking back to the cabinet, I pulled out another plate. “You forgot to get one for you.”

He stood at the stove stirring the sauce, so I barely heard his mumbled, “I don’t want to intrude. I can eat in my room or after you two are done if you’d prefer I eat at the table.”

Wait. What?

“You made us this beautiful meal, and you’re not planning to dine with us? I mean, if you’re ready for a break, that’s fine. But I wouldn’t consider it an intrusion if you joined us.”

He looked over his shoulder. “Are you sure?”

Turning to my daughter, I asked, “Lex-Lex, should CJ eat dinner with us?”

She yelled, “Yes,” at the top of her lungs.

Holding up the plate I’d retrieved from the cabinet, I smirked. “The majority has spoken.”

His smile was instantaneous and beautiful. My cock perked with interest, probably remembering the incredible pleasure this man had given me. But he was my employee now, and a blinding bright smile and blue irises that shined with happiness meant nothing. No. Not even a little bit. I was so fucked.