9. Kevin

KEVIN

It had been a week since CJ started watching Lexi, and it was going better than I’d anticipated. I hadn’t exactly had high hopes, to begin with, but I couldn’t deny the facts. Lexi was thriving under his care, and I was calmer than I’d been in a long, long time. I’d convinced myself that working ahead on my projects had kept me from being stressed out, but I hadn’t realized until now how untrue that was. Between the exhaustion from staying up late to work at night and chasing after a toddler all day, I hadn’t really been doing anything optimally.

The truth of that had really hit home over the weekend. When CJ left Saturday morning with a wave that he’d see us again Monday, I’d had two full days of hanging out with my daughter without a care in the world. We’d had so much fun making meals, playing, and just being together. For the first time since I’d gone back to work after she was born, I hadn’t been worried about trying to get work done while she was napping or after she went to sleep. I’d been able to straighten the house quickly and go to bed. It was pretty fantastic.

“So do you think you’ll go in again tomorrow?” CJ asked as he carried the pot of homemade roasted tomato soup to the table.

Following him with a platter of toasty-brown grilled cheese sandwich triangles, I placed them on the table before giving one to my daughter. “What do you think, Lex-Lex? Is it okay if I go back into the office tomorrow?”

“Yep. I like it better.” She took a big bite of her sandwich and hummed around it.

I jolted as a pang went through my heart. Was her manny replacing me in her affections already? A childish part of me wanted to lash out and tell CJ to hit the road—that we didn’t need him—but it was ridiculous to be jealous of him. He paid Lexi constant attention, which was his job, so of course she preferred his company. Hell, they probably had more fun without me here. “Oh, okay.”

CJ frowned. As he ladled soup into Lexis small bowl, he asked, “Why do you like it better when your daddy goes to the office?”

Ugh. Why was he making her say it? Actually hearing my kid say she liked CJ better was worse than just knowing it. Did he have to rub salt into my open wound?

“His puter is stinky and makes him sad when he sits at da table.” She tilted her head. “Does work make you sad, Daddy?”

My heart cracked open. I’d thought I’d done such a good job hiding my job-related stress from Lexi, but obviously, I’d been deceiving myself about that, too. “I actually love it. And I love working with Uncle George because he’s my best friend.”

She took another huge bite, then said, “CJ’s my best friend, Daddy. I like hanging out wit him all day.”

CJ beamed. “I like hanging out with you all day, too, miss-thang.”

She giggled. “My name is Lexi, CJ. Not miss tang.”

CJ smacked his large hand to his forehead. “Oh yeah. I keep forgetting.”

Lexi shook her head, then turned back to me. “He’s silly.”

“CJ is silly,” I agreed. “But, Lex-Lex, my laptop doesn’t make me sad. I really like my job, but I get sad sometimes because I have to work instead of hanging out with you.”

She squinted her eyes half-closed, sighing with exasperation. “Tat’s why I like whe you go work at da building where Uncle George is. Den you come home and play and eat dinner wit me and CJ, and it’s so fun.”

She was talking so fast that I had a hard time catching all of it, but I’d been listening to her babble since before it formed actual words, so I was able to decipher most of it. CJ stood up, reaching across the table and ladling soup into my bowl. “Enough talking. Time to eat.” He winked at me.

“Welp, Lex-Lex, CJ has spoken. We better eat up.” Since she’d already started, she smiled around a big bite of her sandwich. My stomach heaved as she flashed me a glimpse of the cheesy-gooeyness inside her mouth. Once she looked back down at her plate, I mouthed, “Thank you,” to my daughter’s manny. He’d spared me continuing the conversation with my daughter, and I took a much-needed breath.

I’d tried so hard to do right by my child, but apparently, I’d been failing miserably. How many times had I missed an opportunity to have fun with her because I was so dead on my feet from trying to do this all on my own? Did she think working was more important than her? It wasn’t, but I had to make money to pay the bills and provide for her. She was too young to understand that now, which left me a tangled knot.

Pressure on my hand jerked me from staring sightlessly at Lexi. CJ’s long fingers encased the fist I didn’t even know I’d formed, and he flashed me a reassuring smile. My body heated at the warmth of his skin touching mine, while my heart melted a little that he’d seen and understood why I was upset, and then proceeded to offer comfort. Moisture prickled at the corners of my eyes—making me feel like a ridiculous mushball—but it had been so long since I felt so seen.

Had I ever even felt this with my ex? The reality was no. Looking back, I’d realized that I’d ignored the signs of his disinterest and selfishness. I’d been so damn happy to have a partner, even if he wasn’t perfect. And once he left, well, feeling alone in all things was partly my fault. I didn’t want anyone worrying about me, nor did I want the opinions that I’d heard over and over again since the minute Lexi started walking. The constant chorus of everyone in my court that I needed help. The advice that had led me to this man who took such good care of the most important human in my life, while serving meals that tasted like they’d been prepared by a professional chef. The understanding that shone out of his baby blues was like the cherry on top of a banana split sundae.

I swallowed back a groan. Thinking about CJ’s beautiful eyes…or thighs or his ass or arms, for that matter, was a huge mistake. CJ was my employee, no more, no less.

“Daddy! Why you ‘nore me?”

Looking up, I found Lexi’s and CJ’s gazes focused on me. Her lower lip pouted out in annoyance as he smirked. “I’m sorry, Lex-Lex. Did you say something?”

She cut a look at her best friend that I interpreted as, can you believe this guy? Pinning me with the steely glare of a toddler, which was surprisingly more hurtful than I could’ve imagined before being a parent, she said slowly, “Hurry and eat so CJ will make my sundae. He says have to wait for you.” He became the recipient of the icy daggers shooting from her eyeballs.

He bit back a smile, narrowing his eyes at her. “Would you like it if your daddy finished dinner first, and then he ate his dessert right in front of you?” He exaggerated, shaking his head. “That seems mean to me.”

“I don’t know, CJ. I don’t tink Daddy would mind.”

He tapped his lips with his index finger. “Hmm. I think maybe we should put on our thinking caps. What do you think?”

Lexi pursed her lips, staring a hole right through CJ’s forehead, while I watched on fascinated. What the heck was happening here? Before I broke down and asked, she gave one concise nod, then looked back to me expectantly.

“Uh…”

“After reviewing the situation with her thinking cap, your daughter has decided that we should wait for you to finish your meal before I make dessert.” CJ pointed his spoon at the soup and sandwich combo in front of me. “So maybe you should get on with that.”

Lexi nodded.

“Got it.” Thinking cap? And how had he known her final decision? She hadn’t said a word.

As I swallowed the last bite of my sandwich, CJ rose from the table. So far, he’d disappeared into his room right after dinner. Well, at least he had after that first night when I’d set him straight that if he was cooking for us, I’d clean up. I wasn’t sure what he did up there, but he didn’t leave and go out. We’d never outfitted the room with a television since my mom was a big reader, so I wondered how he spent his time. Did he read, play games on his phone, or did he pass out from exhaustion after spending a day with my little tornado?

“What’re you grinning about?” CJ asked as he set the bowls and ice cream down.

“What do you do all night?” The question launched out of me without thought.

He shrugged. “A little of this, a little of that.” I arched an eyebrow, and he huffed. “I check in with my mom and siblings or my best friend, Eddie. Then I usually read or whatever.”

“Do you want a TV in your room?” Frowning, I added, “I feel like that’s something I should have done for you already. Sorry about that.”

He answered, but he didn’t stop moving back and forth from the kitchen cabinets. “Na. I really only enjoy watching movies or a series if I have company.”

Lexi hopped onto her knees, trying to touch all the fun toppings CJ had put on the table. “Like wit me. We love Paw Patrol and Kitties and Trolls. Right, CJ?”

“You got it, girlfriend.”

She breathed out a put-upon sigh. “I not gurl-friend. I Lexi.”

CJ and I exchanged amused glances, which…I really liked that. Having someone to share all the cute little things about my daughter with me at the end of the day. It was a little like that when my mom was here, but I worried incessantly that I asked too much of my mother, and I wanted her to have the chance to be a grandma and not a surrogate mom, so I… Huh, did I not include her as much as I should? I’d have to think about that later. For now, I could at least do better by this wondrous man who’d taken our lives by storm. “Would you like to watch something with us tonight?”

His hand stopped mid-scoop. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

I glanced out into the playroom. The one room in the house that had been the bane of my existence with how often I straightened it up for it to be a complete disaster again an hour later. The last week, it was as neat and organized when I returned from work as it was when I left in the morning. It was incredible. “You wouldn’t be. We can sit on the floor, have our dessert, and watch a movie together. It’ll be fun.”

“Yes!” Lexi screamed.

“Inside voice,” CJ and I said at the same time. My eyes found his again, and we both grinned.

“I’m not pushing you if you have something you’d rather be doing, but…you live here, too. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re banished to your room after dinner.”

He stopped scooping the ice cream and met my gaze. “Are you sure? I don’t want to impose, and I really don’t mind?—”

I waved a hand, cutting him off. “It would be fun if you hung out with us tonight.”

“Pease, CJ,” my daughter insisted.

“You just want to eat your dessert on the floor,” he teased her, reaching over and tickling her belly.

She giggled, falling back, but her head bobbed up and down. “Yes. Foor.”

“Okay.” He got busy opening the sprinkles and other toppings he’d brought in. “That would be nice.”

We took our sundaes into the living room, put on one of my daughter’s favorite movies, and hung out. Lexi finished her ice cream and then spent the movie crawling between us. We chuckled together at the parts we knew went over her head and laughed even harder when she cackled because we were. She fell asleep by the time the movie was over, exhausted from another day of playing with her manny, and I carried her up to bed. By the time I came down, CJ had cleaned up the kitchen and retired to his room. It had been a nice evening, really nice. If a part of me hoped for more just like this, it was only because I liked having another adult around, not because of the blue-eyed man with the quick smile who treated my daughter like a princess.

CJ

Takingcare of Lexi was a joy. As cautious and nervous as Kevin could be, his little girl was the total opposite. From the minute she woke up in the morning, she was raring to go and ready for a new adventure. I had no idea how he’d managed to work from home while caring for her. He must’ve fallen into bed exhausted at the end of every day.

Pushing for this job had one hundred percent been the right choice, even if I hadnt wanted a chance to get to know Kevin better. The father and daughter duo were so cute together that it warmed my heart. Id been fortunate so far, only landing jobs where the parents genuinely loved and enjoyed their children. Eddie told me nightmare stories about some of the families hed vacationed with. Yes, he was there to be their manny, but it was sad when the parents didnt want to include their children in any of their activities. It was like they’d taken the kids purely out of obligation, but brought Eddie along to make sure their vacay fun wouldn’t be spoiled by their own kids.

Kevin, on the other hand, doted on his Lex-Lex. It was obvious she was the center of his whole universe. Honestly, it had me a little doubtful that dating him would ever be on the table. From what I’d observed, he approached the day with only Lexi and her needs in mind. Although, I did think we were really becoming friends. Our after-dinner movie time had continued, and it was quickly becoming one of my favorite parts of the day.

“CJ,” Lexi called, pulling me from my musings.

Picking up my mug of coffee, I carried it to the table where I’d left her coloring a picture. I quickly took in all the pink, purple, green, and yellow straight lines she’d made, one next to the other, and took a guess. “Oh, is that a rainbow?”

She looked up, beaming at me. “Yes.”

“That’s beautiful.”

She smiled, super proud of herself. “Can I call Nana?”

“You want to show your grandma your picture?”

“Nana,” she said, nodding her head in the affirmative. It cracked me up how exacting she was with names, and yet, her daddy called her Lex-Lex, and she didn’t miss a beat. Too cute.

“I bet your daddy will call her for you when he gets home.”

She frowned, then jumped up and ran into the kitchen and dragged her stepstool over to the refrigerator. “What’re you doing, Lexi?”

She pulled a piece of paper off, ran back to the table, and shoved it into my hands. “Call Nana. So I can see.”

“Oh, uh.” I looked down at the list of emergency contact numbers that Kevin had left for me on my first day. I’d been carrying Lexi at the time, but I didn’t realize that she’d been paying attention or even understood what it was. That was my bad. This kid was sharp as a whip. “I really think?—”

“Nooo. Nana,” she cried, big tears popping into the corners of her eyes.

Sighing, I picked up my phone. “I’m not sure we should call her. I really think you should wait for your daddy.”

She tapped the screen with her fingers. “So I can see, CJ. Pease.”

I studied her eyes, the green glimmering with the potential of meltdown tears, and her pouty lips. Would it really hurt to ask her grandma if she was available? “Okay, I’ll text her and ask if she can talk. That’s the best I can do. If she can’t, then you’ll have to wait for your daddy to get home.”

The self-satisfied smirk that slid onto her face made me want to either laugh or take back my offer. I wasn’t really sure which one.

Hello. This is CJ, Lexi’s manny. She wants to call you. I think she wants you to see the rainbow she drew. I told her I’d ask, but I also told her that she might have to wait for her daddy to get home, so no pressure.

My phone rang immediately, so I put it on speaker. “Hello.”

“Hi, CJ, this is Lorraine, Lexi’s Nana. Can we do a video call? I’d love to see her picture.”

“Nana,” the little girl called, trying to see the phone screen. The perturbed pout when her grandma’s face wasn’t there was comical.

“I think we’d better now,” I said, laughing. “I’ll have a two-year-old mutiny on my hands if I don’t.” I got us all set-up, and then Kevin’s mom’s face appeared on the screen. She was lovely, with silver-streaked hair and a wide smile. I saw immediately where the father-daughter duo had inherited their eye color. “Hello, Lorraine. I’m CJ. It’s nice to officially meet you.”

Grabby hands reached for my phone as she responded, so I set Lexi in her chair and let her talk to her grandmother. She talked so fast that it was virtually impossible to make heads or tails of the stories spilling out of her mouth, but Lorraine worked most of it out on her own, and what she couldn’t, I filled in. Finally, the little miss had shown her picture and exhausted her words. “Bye, Nana.” She shoved the phone into my hands and jumped off her chair, running to her playroom.

“Walk.” Lexi slowed down, and I lifted the phone to see Lorraine’s smiling face. “I guess she’s done for today.”

Lorraine shook her head. “She’s a little tornado.”

“That she is.”

“Thank you so much for calling me. We usually do a video call over the weekend, but I miss her face during the week.” Her face fell, and my heart went out to her.

“You live in Florida, right?”

She grimaced. “I do. My late husband and I moved down here about ten years ago for his health.”

Kevin had made little comments about his mother here and there during dinner, but I hadn’t realized he’d lost his father. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

She forced a smile. “Thank you. It’s been hard without him. I’m just glad he lived long enough to spend time with our girl. Knowing that Kevin was a father gave him peace. And she brought him so much joy before he passed.”

My nosy ass wanted to ask why that gave him peace, but I was the hired help. It was none of my business unless Kevin shared it with me. He might not be thrilled I called his mom in the first place, so he definitely wouldn’t be happy if he found out I’d been twenty questioning her about his life. “I bet she did. She’s a wonderful girl.”

The faraway look left Lorraine’s eyes as she focused in on me. “So tell me a little about yourself, CJ.”

A quick check into the playroom showed Lexi vrooming around with her trucks, so I sat back. “There’s not really a lot to say, honestly.”

“How old are you?” she asked.

“Twenty-six.”

“How long have you been a manny?”

“Since I was eighteen.”

“Is this what you always wanted to do?”

I bit back a snort. I didn’t want to twenty-question her, but apparently, she wasn’t having that same problem. Of course, her precious grandchild was in my care so that made sense. “Not originally. I actually only planned to babysit while I was in college. I discovered that I loved it, and here we are.”

She leaned into the phone, her face taking up the whole screen. “So tell me, CJ. Are you gay?”

“Mom!” Kevin yelled from behind me.

I hadn’t even heard him arrive home, so I jumped in my seat, fumbling my phone. “Jesus, you scared me.” Lorraine’s laughter reminded me that she was still there, so I lifted the phone back up. “Sorry. And the answer to your question is bisexual.”

Her eyes sparkled. “Oh. And are you dating anyone?”

“Oh my gosh, Mom. CJ, you don’t have to answer that.”

I turned my head, surprised to find Kevin leaning over my shoulder, completely red-faced. He was so close, all it would take was a puckering of my lips to kiss him…or lick him. Either would work for me. He glared at his mom, but I focused on him as I said, “I don’t mind. No, Lorraine. I’m currently very, very single. I haven’t met anyone I was interested in since the end of last year.”

Kevin’s gaze jumped to me, and somehow, his cheeks got impossibly redder. When Lorraine said, “What happened there?”

I tore my eyes from his and looked back to her.

“Bad timing, I think. But I’m working on that.” I heard his quick intake of breath. Not wanting to push my luck, I continued, “It was so nice chatting with you. I’m going to go check on Lexi. I’ll let you speak with your son.”

I shoved my phone into his hands, then slid out of my seat and went in to play with his daughter. He beat a path for the stairs, whisper-yelling at his mother all the way up. When he came back down, he’d changed from his work clothes and handed me my phone. Neither of us mentioned the call, but I stopped worrying that I’d damaged our newfound friendship when he asked what movie we wanted to watch during dinner between furtive glances in my direction. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Kevin did think about more than Lexi. I’d find out eventually because I was in this for the long game.