26. Laurie

Iended up falling asleep on the plane after all. Maybe all the stress made my body retreat into the escape of sleep. I woke up long before we were due in New York, so Worth chatted about his family's company, his apartment in New York, and his other properties; I just listened.

As soon as we landed, a car came right out onto the tarmac to pick us up, yet another privilege I never even imagined. We were dropped off at Worth's apartment building along with the two security guards who'd come to get us in Aruba. I marveled at the front of the building and the lobby, which felt too fancy for me to walk through in the clothes I had worn on the plane. They were nice, but now they were wrinkled and all askew. I was sure my hair looked frightening as well, but Worth took my hand and walked in like he was proud to be with me.

We crossed to the elevator with one of the security guards following behind us, the other man remained in the lobby. The guard who accompanied us initially followed us inside to sweep the apartment, but once he declared it safe, he took up position just outside the door.

I'd been tense, waiting for someone to jump out at us, so it wasn't until the door had closed behind the guard that I really began to take in the high ceilings, the natural light filling the room from the large windows, and the sense of everything being white, clean, and airy with accents of blue and plants everywhere to add in color.

"Did you create this yourself, or did you have a designer?"

"I worked with a designer, but it was my vision. The art is all pieces I've purchased."

The pictures on the wall were landscapes of fields, farmlands, and cliffs by the sea, some were abstract, some realistic. They all made we want to go to the places they represented. "I love the way it feels here. I thought…."

Worth raised his brows. "What?"

"Never mind."

"Laurie, you can say whatever you want."

"I thought I would feel like I didn't belong. I didn't think your place would feel…homey."

He smiled. "One can manage a luxurious aesthetic and comfort simultaneously."

"You've done that perfectly here."

"Come on. Let me show you the rest." I followed him into the kitchen which had everything any chef could want.

"Do you cook?"

Worth shook his head. "No, it's all for show. Sad, isn't it? It's only been used when I've had a caterer come in."

"If I'm here long enough, I'll cook for you."

"Long enough?"

"I'm staying until we find Beck and get him home safely."

"Laurie, that's not what I?—"

I held up a hand. "Until we find Beck, we're not going to talk about what happens beyond that." I couldn't. The stress of Beck being taken was too much without worrying about whether I could trust that this thing with Worth would last.

Worth studied me for a few moments.

"All right. I know I already agreed to that, but I would love for you to cook for me if you want to. There's no obligation, though. I don't expect you to do anything here except enjoy yourself as much as you can. You're as safe here as you would be anywhere, safer in fact. Carter had state-of-the-art security installed, and as you saw, we have our own personal guards. They'll be here around the clock."

"I trust you to keep me safe." That was true. My physical safety was going to be attended to as well as anyone possibly could. I had no doubt about that. My heart on the other hand? I wasn't so sure about it, but I had chosen to take that risk. I couldn't blame Worth when I knew exactly who he was going into this.

I'd already had his attention for far longer than anyone would have expected, and I believed he was sincere when he told me he cared about me, but I also knew back here in New York, things would be different.

Worth showed me his bedroom. It was big, bright, and as well-designed as the rest of the apartment.

I noticed he'd put both our bags in his room. I suppose it was ridiculous to ask him to put me in the guest room, but somehow committing to staying with him—in his own bed—unnerved me. It was like I was pushing this game of pretend too far.

"Are you sure you don't mind me here in your space? I don't want to be in the way?—"

He placed a finger over my lips. "I wouldn't have you anywhere else. If I could spend every moment of the day in this bed with you, wrapped around you, holding you tight, that's what I would do. The only thing keeping me from that is finding Beck."

"I just…I know you're not used to anyone staying with you, and if you'd rather I slept in?—"

"Laurie, I'd rather you stayed right by my side every moment of the day."

"Okay." I wouldn't push any harder. I wanted that too. I just didn't want to ask for more than he wanted to give.

He waved toward a guest room and a study, then hurried us to a set of stairs that led to a private area on the roof. "This is my favorite thing about my apartment."

The rooftop garden was set up with a small koi pond, tall plants in pots, luxurious lounge furniture, and a chiminea for a fire. It was like we had been transported back to the Caribbean.

"I love it up here," Worth said. "I have heat lamps in storage," he nodded toward a tiny shed. "I bring them out when it gets cooler and the fire isn't enough for warmth. I come up here all year round. I have to change the plants in winter, of course, or rather, my garden service does."

"And this is all just for you?"

"Yes, but now it's also for you. You can come up here anytime."

I tried to imagine what it would be like to live like this. I really did feel like a princess being shown all my prince had to offer.

Too soon, we were heading back down because Worth's friends were on their way so they could talk strategy. Reality was about crash in on us.

Worth got us both a drink. I opted to stick with water, not wanting any alcohol fogging my brain when I met his closest friends for the first time. He poured himself a Scotch and soda, and we settled in the glorious living room with a fantastic view of the city.

How many millions had he paid for this place, and how had I ended up here?

It was all because of my friendship with Beck. Because Beck had chosen me our freshman year as someone he wanted to know and had used his charm to draw me in. Now he was God knows where, hopefully alive, hopefully not being tortured. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I had to wonder if things could have been different, if he would've said something earlier about being followed, and if we could have prevented his kidnapping.

"We're going to find him." Worth clearly sensed where my thoughts had gone.

"Is your sister coming here too?"

"Not to the strategy meeting. I'm keeping her updated, though."

"And your mother?" My heart pounded as I asked. The thought of meeting his mother, this formidable woman who'd tried to control her children their whole lives, terrified me.

"We haven't told her."

"Are you afraid she'll freak out?"

Worth shook his head. "I'm afraid she won't care."

That was horrific. "Oh, Worth. I know you said she doesn't show as much interest in Beck, but surely…."

"You'd think that, and truly, I do think she'd be worried, especially about how it would look for the family, but also about Beck. I'm afraid to be wrong, though."

"I'm so sorry." I laid my hand on his arm, and he reached out and pulled me to him. We were sitting that way, cuddled close, giving each other comfort when there was a knock on his door. "It's Miles and everyone," a man called.

Worth crossed the room, unlocked the door, and let them in.

I shouldn't have been surprised when I saw them. I'd seen pictures in Beck's apartment, but every one of them was even more stunningly gorgeous than I expected. Worth introduced me first to Miles, the Miles Montgomery of Montgomery Enterprises, one of the nation's most eligible bachelors until he'd gotten together with Ben.

Next, I met Ford, who worked for Miles as his legal counsel. He was known for his sharp mind and his ability to always win in the courtroom. And then Carter, former Navy SEAL and security firm owner, who was the main force behind this mission to rescue Beck, and his partner, Matteo, also a former SEAL who was extremely intimidating.

"They look scary." Ford gestured to Carter and Matteo. "But I assure you they're not. Or not to anyone who doesn't intend to harm us."

Matteo smiled. "You have nothing to fear from us. Unlike the people who've attempted to harm Beck. They are the ones who need to worry. A whole fucking lot."

A shiver ran through me as he spoke. I had no doubt that when they tracked the men down they would tear them apart.

I glanced at Worth as everyone took a seat. I wasn't sure if I should stay or if it would be better for me to leave the room. He laid a hand on top of mine. "Please stay. I'll feel so much better if you're here with me."

I noticed Miles and Ford giving each other a look. Had Worth told them anything about us? Did they know I was more than just Beck's friend? I would ask him what they knew later. For now, I just needed to sit here and support him.

"There have been some developments," Carter began.

Worth frowned. "What kind of developments?" His knee bounced restlessly as he squeezed my hand. He was scared. He'd been trying not to show it because he was worried about me, but I wanted him to be free to show how worried he truly was. He didn't need to protect me from his feelings. No matter how confidently he stated that they'd find Beck and bring him home, I knew there was a possibility that it might not happen.

Carter glanced toward Miles; Miles nodded.

"What the fuck is going on?" Worth asked.

"We received a request to make a trade. They want Matteo in exchange for Beck," Carter said.

Worth shook his head. "No, absolutely not. We'll find a way to get them out without putting you in that position."

Carter held up his hand. "We're going to get your brother back. You're exactly right. I know what I'm doing, and I know how to run this operation and give everybody the best chance of coming out of it safely."

Matteo spoke up then. "I've allowed myself to be bait before, and I'm sure I'll end up doing it again."

Carter scowled and I swore I heard a little growl emanate from him. "We have a plan to extract Beck."

"So you know where he is?" Worth asked.

Carter nodded.

"How long have you known? When did this request for a trade come through? Why haven't you been telling me what's going on?"

"It all happened while you were on the plane. There was no reason to upset you when you couldn't do anything until you got here."

Worth snarled. "You told me you would keep me posted on everything."

I scooted closer to Worth. "They told you as soon as they got here. You're not being left out. Let's hear the plan."

Miles smiled at me. "I like this. I like this a lot."

Worth scowled at him. "This is not the time."

Did that mean he did know something? Worth must have told Miles during one of their conversations while we were in Aruba.

Carter explained that they thought Beck was being held at a home owned by one of the cartel members under an alias. It was in Lower Manhattan, so not far away, but they needed to wait until it was fully dark to go in. They had a plan, but if they were caught, they would use Matteo as bait.

"And once they take you, you think they're just going to go easy on you?" Worth asked. "Do you think they're just going ask you to work for them again?"

I looked between Worth and Matteo. "What do you mean work for them again?"

"I was undercover with the cartel as part of a CIA mission," Matteo said.

"What? Is this…am I supposed to know this?"

Matteo grinned. "Absolutely not, but you're part of us now, and I doubt you have any reason to spill my secrets."

"No one would believe me if I did, but I wouldn't. Beck and Worth are my only friends."

Miles shook his head. "No, you have all of us now."

That wasn't true. I wasn't part of this group. How could I ever be? "I don't understand. I'm just a friend of Beck's who got to take his place on a trip to Aruba."

"You're so much more than that." Worth captured my gaze. I froze for a moment. The intensity of emotion in his eyes made my heart skip a beat.

"I…Thank you."

"To answer your question," Matteo said. "I don't think they're going to invite me to work for them again, but Carter and I have a way to get me out."

"And you're not going to tell me more about this plan?" Worth asked.

"There are about a hundred contingency plans," Carter explained, "so that would take too much time."

Worth looked at Miles. "Do you know more?"

"I know that I trust the two of them, and we have a lot of resources behind us if something goes wrong."

"I don't want any of you sacrificing yourselves."

"Do you think Carter would let Matteo do this if he thought that's what would happen?" Ford asked.

Carter laid a hand on partner's thigh, then looked at Worth. "We've got this. Trust us."

"I want to come with you."

"No. That's not?—"

"I'm not giving you a choice," Worth said. "I'm in on this. I'll stay back. I can hang with Ford and take care of communications, but I want to be there. I want to see my brother the minute we get him out."

Again, Miles and Carter exchanged a look.

"Stop trying to say things to each other and leaving me out."

Miles scoffed. "We didn't say a thing."

"You did! You did the eye thing."

"Fine, you're coming with us, but only under very specific conditions."

"I'll come too," I said. "I want to help. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Beck."

"Absolutely not," Worth argued. "You're going to stay here with the guards. I'm not going to let you put yourself at risk. Beck wouldn't want?—"

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get him back safely. If it hadn't been for him, I don't know what would've happened to me. His friendship is a large part of the reason I had the strength to leave Tommy."

"We have all the people we need," Carter said. "Unless you have some kind of training in this sort of operation, I can't allow you to take part."

"Please stay here," Worth begged. "I know my brother's life is on the line. I don't want yours to be as well."

I reluctantly agreed, and Worth began interrogating Carter about the details of their plan. Slowly, he let go of my hand, leaning forward, bracing his arms on his legs. I watched them speaking to each other, feeling like they were in their own bubble.

They'd been friends for a long time. I'd worried about coming to New York and feeling like I couldn't fit into a world of such opulence. I didn't know how to live like Worth did. I'd worried I could never be the man on his arm as he went to elegant parties and charity auctions, but that wasn't the biggest problem. I could never be fully part of his life because I wasn't part of this, his group of friends and the craziness of their lives. I was on the outside.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice Miles getting up and moving my way. "It looks like your glass is empty. Let's go get a refill in the kitchen."

His words startled me and my heart began pounding, but I rose and followed him. What was he going to say? Was he going to tell me to leave Worth alone? He'd seemed friendly before.

Once we were in the kitchen, I refilled my water from the door of the fridge while Miles poured himself a measure of bourbon. He was obviously familiar with where everything was.

"Worth told me about the two of you," he said.

I nodded, too afraid to say anything, not sure if my voice would work even if I tried.

"He's happier than he's been in a long time. I've never seen him look at a man the way he looks at you."

"But his brother, he's in so much danger."

"I'm not saying Worth's not worried about Beck. I can tell you both are. But I can also tell that he's content with you."

"I don't belong here in this world with all of you."

"Has Worth said anything to you to make you feel that way?"

"No. But I don't think he would."

Miles snorted. "You have no idea. He would happily tell a man when it was time to leave."

"Beck told me how he is. He didn't want me to get involved with him, and he would've called Worth when he was in danger if it hadn't been for what happened between us."

"None of this is your fault. If anything, it's more my fault that anyone else's. I'm the one who agreed to go after the cartel."

"Carter and Matteo didn't want to do that, too?"

Miles sighed. "They did, and chances are they would have eventually if I hadn't brought everything together the way I did, but that was what brought Matteo here, what caused him to break away from his undercover role."

"They have each other now."

"True, but I need you to understand that you did absolutely nothing wrong. Beck contacted Carter, and Carter is in a better position to help him than anyone else. There's nothing you could've done. If you'd still been in St. Louis, trapped in the hell you were in, the same thing would've happened."

"Maybe not. Maybe Worth would've convinced him to drop the internship and go to Aruba."

"Then the cartel might've followed them there, and they might have taken both of them. If so, they'd be further away in a place where it would be harder for us to go in and get them."

The thought made my chest tighten. "They could easily have taken them to Columbia."

Miles nodded. "We're going to take care of this."

"And then I'm going to go home."

He tilted his head, watching me for a moment. "And where is home?"

I looked away, not wanting to attempt an answer.

"Do you think maybe it's here?" Miles asked.

"What? No. Worth has known me less than a week."

"I knew Ben for one day when I was absolutely sure I wanted him with me for the rest of my life."

"You're not like the man people talk about in the media."

"Oh, I am, just not in this context." Miles continued, "You should meet Ben. The two of you would get along really well."

"I'd like that, if it works out."

Miles glanced toward the living room, then back to me. "Don't break his heart. If you want to see the side of me people talk about, that's what it would take."

"Me break his heart? No, I…He's not…."

"Open your eyes, Laurie. Be sure you really do know what he's feeling before you decide to walk away."