Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Knox

“Hey, hot shot,” I hear as we walk into the hotel.

The air conditioning feels good after walking through the warm evening air of Southern California. It’s winter and it’s eighty fucking degrees.

Lake smirks and claps me on the shoulder as the woman in a skimpy dress slinks close and plasters herself against my side.

“We won’t count on you for drinks in my room, then,” he mutters.

“No,” I agree.

But not for the reason he thinks.

“Callie,” I say, unhooking myself from her wandering hands. “How’s the SoCal life?”

“Boring without you here.” She steps close and reaches for me again then pouts when I sidestep her. “Knox,” she whines.

“Sorry life is boring,” I tell her, racking my brain for a way to get out of this conversation.

“Well”—she smiles and presses her tits to my side—“I know that you’ll be very…entertaining.” She drags a palm down my chest, and I feel…absolutely nothing.

Because it’s not Ivy’s hand touching me.

Not her body pressed to mine.

“Look, Callie,” I begin, catching her hand and pulling it off me. “It’s always good to see you.”

Her bottom lip juts out further. “Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?”

So fucking whiny.

Even when my dick was interested in her tits and ass and generous mouth, I still couldn’t stand the whining.

“ But ,” I say, stepping back again, “I’m tired.”

“You didn’t look very tired out on the ice tonight.”

No. I’d felt like a fucking superhero, like I couldn’t get tired no matter how hard I worked. The goal and two assists I put up on the scoresheet the easiest I can remember in a long fucking time.

And it’s not because my body is rested, that I’ve got super strength?—

If anything, my quads felt burned out from fucking Ivy yesterday, my back tight from the plane ride and sleeping in a bed that wasn’t mine.

But once I got out there on the ice, I hadn’t felt any of that.

I just…

Thought of Ivy watching.

Thought of Evie watching.

And I’d wanted to make them proud.

“Well, I’m tired now,” I tell Callie. “So I think you might have more luck with the guys in the bar than in my room tonight.”

She stills, pouty lip retracting, and the hairs on my nape rise when I feel her staring at me.

Callie is…

Well, great in bed but completely wrapped up in herself. She loves a hockey player because we “have stamina and great asses.”

But I’m not the only hockey player she fucks.

Or fucked.

I know that. She knows that I know. And it works—worked—out perfectly for both of us.

So, her suddenly trading superficial for serious is…

Well, my stomach clenches and that high from the game?

Feels much more like a crash and burn.

I’m tiptoeing into dangerous territory. Or maybe that I’ve dived headfirst into it already.

“It’s a woman,” she says softly.

Yes, it’s a woman—or rather, two of them.

“Goodnight, Callie.”

Her hand settles on my arm, stopping me before I can walk away. “I’m happy you’ve found someone to love.”

I freeze.

Because… fuck. I’m going to throw up. Yes, I’ve been enjoying the orgasms and the soft side of Ivy and how fucking cool Evie is. But love?

That’s a treacherous step, and if I really think about it too closely…

I remember how much my dad fucked up with my sister and me.

And how much everyone always said I was like him.

How I promised myself I wouldn’t ever step into his shoes with something as dangerous as love—because I don’t want to hurt everyone I care about. There’s a reason I swore off anything serious, a reason I keep almost everything in my life easy and free of attachments. I love my sister. I get along with the guys. I do my job and…

I keep it all smooth-sailing.

I keep it casual.

Until Winter.

Until Ivy.

Until Evie.

Because if I’m like him then they’ll get hurt and?—

Exhaling, I push that down. I don’t want to think about it. Don’t want to consider how fucking obvious it must be if someone as self-absorbed as Callie sees the tangle of feelings?—

Flying high to crashing and burning.

Cool. Cool.

Lips brush against my cheek, and startled, I jerk back.

“What the fu?—”

A finger to my lips. A soft smile. Far too knowing eyes. “Breathe,” Callie whispers. Then amusement creeps across her expression. “Don’t worry,” she says. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“I—”

A wink before she turns and starts to saunter off. “Oh, Knox?” she asks, pausing and glancing over her shoulder.

“Yeah?” I rasp, head spinning, heart pounding, lungs so tight I can barely draw in breath.

“Any advice on who’s up for a good time?”

I shake myself and shove down the panic. It’s fine. It’ll all be fine. Ivy doesn’t want anything serious?—

She’s mine.

I ignore that thought too and focus on something I can control. “Don’t waste your time with Leo, Lake, or Riggs?—”

“Or you, apparently,” she says dryly.

I scowl.

She grins.

“And while the rest of the guys are single or looking”—yeah, that sounds as douchy as it is, but I’m not one to judge what some of the assholes on the team do in their relationships”— I think Storm is too far gone for your…charms.”

Her nose wrinkles. “More’s the pity. He’s cute.”

And currently moping over a beer in the bar, his gaze drifting—like it seems wont to do—toward Coach Joey, who’s working on her laptop in a quiet corner, far too often.

“Look after yourself, yeah?” I mutter gruffly. “And stay away from Hiller”—our head coach—“he’s an asshole.”

She salutes, and I watch, my mouth curving, as she flounces off to the bar before I turn and head to the elevator.

Unfortunately, when I get there, I’m not alone.

Lake and Riggs are standing in front of the metal doors, and their eyes widen when they see me.

“No Callie?” Lake asks.

I grunt and shake my head, wondering if it’d be better to brave the bar…or take the seventeen flights of stairs up to my room to avoid these assholes.

“No talking,” Riggs says.

“Thank you,” I mutter, pulling my phone out of my pocket, pretending to be entranced with my inbox?—

“No,” Riggs says. “ You’re not talking.”

“Exactly,” Lake agrees.

“What the fuck are you getting at?”

“Something’s up with you,” Lake says.

“Nothing’s up with me.” I shove my phone away, stare at the box over the elevator and will the number displayed on the screen, indicating which floor it’s on, to drop faster. “The game was fast. I’m tired.”

“No Callie. No talking.” Riggs shakes his head. “Something’s definitely up.”

“ Nothing’s up?—”

“Ivy’s up.”

I jump and whip around to glare at Leo, who’s appeared from fuck knows where.

“What’s that?” Lake asks.

“Nothing,” I snap.

Leo lifts and drops one big shoulder, like he’s not casually outing me to my teammates. “Ever since he and Ivy got trapped in the weight room, Knox hasn’t been able to keep his eyes off her.”

“He’s never been able to keep his eyes off her,” Riggs mutters.

“Seriously,” Lake agrees. “Man’s been fucking obsessed since day one.”

“I have not?—”

They ignore me as Leo keeps talking. “Maybe so, but Ivy’s started looking back,” he says. “And then Jolie saw him”—a nod a me—“stopping by Ivy’s place yesterday.”

I choke.

Leo’s mouth quirks. “Jolie does hair for Ivy’s neighbor.”

My temple starts throbbing.

“Apparently they were inside for”—he does air quotes—“ quite a while and came out with huge smiles when it was time to get Evie for school.”

That throb is full-on migraine now.

“Oh, and there’s the fact that he laid a kiss on her that was”—more air quotes—“so smoking hot that panties were melted.”

Riggs snorts.

Lake fucking cackles—and seriously, the man is supposed to be stoic and grumpy, not amused or cracking jokes like, “Finally figured out how door handles worked, did ya?”

I scowl.

Yeah, never living that down.

But, thank fuck, the elevator doors finally open with a ding. “None of you are funny,” I grind out as I step onto the cart.

“Maybe not,” Riggs says. “But we’re all in the same boat, man. Just give in.”

I have given in.

It’s why I’m here now, listening to this shit.

Why I’m barely beating back the panic as I try to pretend what’s happening in my head and heart isn’t actually happening.

Mine.

Dangerous.

I’m going to hurt her. I’m going to fuck up.

I have to end this now…

I fucking can’t do that.

“Seriously,” Lake adds as he gets on next to me, bumping his shoulder against mine and jarring me out of my mental spiraling. “The best thing that’s ever happened to me is finding Nova stranded on the side of the road.”

“Same.” Leo crams his way in. “Jolie stumbling into my path was the best day of my life.”

Riggs shrugs and climbs on. “Don’t be a dumbass like I was.” He cuts a look in my direction. “Unless you need me to repeat advice that you once gave me.”

That almost makes me snort.

Because I’d pushed him to date my sister.

The difference is that he’s not a fuck-up.

He doesn’t have DNA that means he’s destined to hurt the people he loves.

“No,” I growl. “I don’t need advice.”

“Good.” Lake claps me on the shoulder. “So we can get straight down to threatening.”

I whip around and glare at him. “What the fuck?” I snap. “Ivy hasn’t done anything to you.”

“I know,” he says and before I can punch the fucker, his forearm is in my throat and he’s pinning me to the elevator’s wall, his eyes cold and fierce—the intense captain of our team in full force. “Ivy is good people,” he grits out as the doors close behind us. “And Evie is a great fucking kid. Don’t go there unless you can take shit seriously.”

Panic twists my insides, but I don’t back down.

“Ivy’s not just some quick fuck.”

She’s more—and that’s why I’m having an existential fucking crisis.

“No,” he says, “she’s just a hot piece of ass you’ll fuck around with until you get tired of her. Then you’ll move on and leave her hurt and?—”

That snaps something inside me.

My control. My hold on my panic because that’s my deepest fear.

My temper .

I rage forward, breaking his hold and reversing our positions. He grunts when I slam him into the wall, shaking the cart, the floors flying by us.

“Don’t talk about her like that,” I growl.

Instead of shoving me back—or punching me like he’s done to plenty of assholes on the ice—Lake just smiles and glances over at Leo and Riggs, who are staying conspicuously out of this. “He’s got it bad.”

Christ.

I do have it bad.

And all these fuckers are witnesses to it.

I drop my arm and glare at them. “You’re all assholes.”

The doors open with a ding, and my teammates clamber out onto the floor, dragging me alongside them.

“Maybe so,” Riggs says as we walk down the hall and start peeling off at our respective rooms, first Lake, then Leo. “But you’re still going to keep her.”

Mine.

He swipes his card, pushes into his room, leaving me alone to walk a couple of doors down to my suite, those words bouncing around my mind.

And knowing that he’s absolutely fucking right.