Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Aron hadn’t slept a wink. Through the night, he had experienced every emotion known to man. From desperately wanting to help Paul to cursing himself for letting Paul in again.

If only he’d stuck to the original plan.

The clock said it was coming up to seven. Granny would be up soon. She had always been an early riser and on her wedding day, Aron suspected that would be in full force.

He had to get himself together for the sake of her. He had no idea how he and Paul were going to cover up this huge chasm that had formed between them since he’d last seen Granny and the Professor. Of course, it helped they wouldn’t have to see each other until the ceremony. He still had time to get his emotions under control. Even if he let the odd tear out, he could say the day had overwhelmed him.

He took in the room that had been his refuge many times over the years. When he’d run to Granny after his mother had disowned him. After his grandfather had died and he’d wanted to help her. The pandemic when he’d soared with joy at the affair with Paul then crashed when Paul had taken off with no warning. He’d cried many tears within these four walls.

At least it all made sense now. Finally. Even so, Aron considered it unfair that he had to pay for something that had happened way before he came on the scene.

There were so many questions in his mind. Had Paul sought professional help for the trauma? Why did he possibly think he and Aron would find themselves in a similar situation? Most of all he wanted to ask him why he’d even started something when he knew he was shouldering this burden. Did he not consider Aron’s feelings once?

No matter what happened, he vowed to find these things out before they both left London. After the wedding today, they would be in each other’s lives for good. Things had to ease. Even if they were relegated to cautious in-laws. Events would be shared and they must find a way to be in the same room as each other. Otherwise, Granny and the Professor might blame themselves. Aron would not let that happen.

His mind was spinning. Aron made a vow to seek Alexander and Mercury out at the wedding reception. They might be able to give him some advice. At that stage, he would take anything.

Before he had the chance to formulate any more plans, he heard movement downstairs. He absolutely must bury this and focus on Granny. She deserved the most perfect day and he would make sure she got it.

His body ached as he got out of bed and threw on his dressing gown. He must look an absolute fright. He flatly refused to check himself in the mirror for confirmation.

Instead, he made his way down the stairs to the kitchen. Granny had already fired up the coffee machine. The comforting smell filling the room.

“Good morning, bride-to-be.”

She shook her head. “At my age too. Who would have thought it? Coffee?”

“Please,” he said, sitting at the table.

She set about making the drinks. When she glanced over at him, she stopped.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“Nothing. Why would anything be wrong on today of all days?”

“You never could lie to me.”

That was true. Every childhood fib she’d busted like an overzealous private detective. Some they’d kept as secrets. Others, she’d gently coaxed him to tell the truth about.

“Honestly, it’s not worth talking about.”

She poured two mugs of coffee and placed one in front of him.

“Something has caused you to lose sleep. Eye bags don’t lie, Aron.”

He would have to put an ice pack on his eyes otherwise he’d look terrible in the photographs.

“Gee, thanks.”

“Aron,” she said sternly. “I do not enjoy guessing games.”

“You might have said that before charades yesterday.”

Granny put her hands on her hips. “I also do not like unfunny jokes unless they come out of a Christmas cracker. I’m waiting.”

“Granny. It’s your day today. I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

She sipped her drink slowly. This was a tried and tested method to put him off his balance.

“I won’t enjoy my day until I know what is troubling you. Besides, I’m the bride and must be obeyed. So that means you have to tell me,” she said eventually. “Sticking my nose into other people’s business is my favourite pastime. I’m to be indulged.”

He laughed despite how rotten he felt.

“I love you, Granny. Do you know that?”

“I do and I love you too. Now, we left you two full of the Christmas spirit last night so I’m presuming Paul is involved in this upset. If you won’t tell me, then perhaps he will.”

“You can’t go round there. It’s bad luck.”

“I don’t give two hoots about such nonsense if there is something wrong. Make your choice.”

She had him cornered. Even so, he couldn’t bring himself to confess to her what had gone on.

“Would it help if I told you I know all about the pandemic affair between the two of you?” she said.

He almost dropped his cup in shock. “What? Who told you?”

I bet it was Alexander. That huge mouth of his wouldn’t be able to keep it in.

“Oh, Aron, you know by now that nothing gets past me,” she said. “And for your information, nobody told me.”

“Then how?”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice your sneaking him in after I’d gone to bed? Then all of a sudden, you both run away to the four corners of the world. It didn’t take much to piece things together.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because for once in my life, I decided to let the winds of fate control things. Not something I will be doing again, that’s for sure. Since you’ve been gone, I’ve watched so many wonderful men find each other.”

That was putting it mildly by all accounts.

“So when this wedding caper started up, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to throw you both together and see what happened.”

“Are you saying that forcing us to sort out your wedding was your way of matchmaking?”

She sniffed and took another sip of her drink.

“Just giving you a gentle nudge.”

Aron shook his head. “You are a shocker.”

“Didn’t work, did it?”

“It kind of did. Then it kind of didn’t.”

He relented and told her the whole sorry tale. From the hen do to the previous night. She listened intently. Her jaw dropped when he told her what had happened to Paul in Afghanistan.

“I don’t think the Professor knows about that,” she said. “He would have said.”

“You can’t tell him.”

She squeezed his hand. “I don’t believe in secrets, but this isn’t mine to tell. Although, it has been far too much for Paul to shoulder on his own. It sounds to me like he needs to talk to someone far more professional than you. Maybe then he’ll stop this ridiculous vow.”

Aron shrugged. “I can’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want to.”

“That’s true. I’m sorry if my meddling has hurt you. Maybe I’m losing my touch.”

It would be typical that her one failed attempt at bringing two people together would be for him. Strangers had benefited from her wily ways. Her own grandson was evidently past help.

“Where does this leave the job opportunity?”

Aron sighed. “I’m really not sure. I don’t think I want to be in the same city as him. It’ll be awkward.”

“That’s putting it mildly. You are going to have to find a way to co-exist in some way. After today, we’ll all be family.”

Family? That was a joke.

“I’ve not had much luck on that score. Except for you.”

“Now that’s nonsense. You have two siblings and a father who all love you.”

“But not a mother.”

This time Granny exhaled. Sadness clouding over her face.

“My darling, gay people have had to contend what you had to for centuries. It doesn’t make it any easier, I know. Believe me, I’ve spoken to your mother until I’m blue in the face.”

Aron frowned. “Don’t you believe she wants to make thing right?”

“I would love to think that, but I know her. She has passed up so many opportunities, I can’t understand what has changed. I’ve seen mothers turn their backs on children when they are dying. It makes me so angry.”

“Are you thinking of Terry?”

Granny went pale. She always did when his name was mentioned. Aron had never got to the bottom of what had happened. For a woman who prided herself on being an open book, this was one chapter that had never been fully explored. All Aron knew was Terry was no longer alive.

She got up and went over to the sideboard. A faded photograph in a frame was all that remained of the young man she had taken in. It had happened just before Aron was born. Even his father refused to talk about Terry. He explained to Aron that some things were just too painful to go over time and again.

Granny brought the photo frame over and laid it carefully on the table in front of them.

“I miss him every day. None more so than today,” she said. “He would have loved all this. And you. My goodness, you would have been firm friends. I often think how he could have helped you with growing up.”

“Tell me his story. Please.”

“Very well. I suppose it’s time,” she replied, swallowing hard. “Years before you were born, I had a silly column in a newspaper where I answered people’s problems.”

“You were an agony aunt?”

She frowned. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“Not at all,” he said. “You’d be perfect.”

“I don’t know about that. Anyway, before it all ended, I began corresponding with Terry. At the time he lived in Nottingham. He had told his parents that he was gay and, as most people did in those days, they threw him out. Poor Terry was left with nothing and no one. All he could think about was moving to London. He thought this city would be the answer to all of his problems.”

Aron knew how that felt. At least he’d had his grandparents to run to.

“So, after talking it over with your grandfather, we did the decent thing and let him live here. There was such an innocence about poor Terry. I was terrified that he would be chewed up and spat out without my intervention,” she continued. “He enrolled in a local college. He wanted to be an accountant. Terry loved being in London. He was always out, dancing and having a good time. I never stopped writing to his mother. I refused to believe that she wasn’t worrying. Not that I ever got a response.”

“What happened?”

“Three years later he began to feel unwell,” she said. “I’d told him time and again to be careful. I used to buy him and your father boxes of condoms. AIDS would not happen on my watch. Alas, I couldn’t be with them every minute of every day.”

She reached for a tissue and dabbed her eyes.

“It was the worst news possible,” she explained. “He died in the summer of nineteen eighty-seven. I was so devastated that your grandfather came to live here full-time. We had a reconciliation of sorts. I think it prompted your father to propose to your mother too. We were all grasping at life in Terry’s honour.”

Aron was speechless.

“Do you think that’s why Mum rejected me?”

“Pah,” she said. “If she dared to use that as an excuse, I’d slap her face. She watched a young man die without his parents. She, of all people, should have known better.”

He hadn’t realised how much his Granny despised his mother for her behaviour. Knowing Terry’s story gave him a much deeper insight. It also explained her need to help people find happiness.

“I wish I’d met him,” he said, glancing at the photo.

A young man with fire in his eyes stared back. He was very handsome in a boyish way. Aron could well imagine the impact he would have made on the gay scene. Little did they all know how deadly that was going to turn out to be.

“You came along a year later,” she said. “My little saviour. You gave me something else to live for.”

“Do you think that’s why you’re so supportive of everyone round here?”

A tear escaped and ran down her cheek. “Of course. I failed poor Terry. I have spent my life trying to make up for it.”

He wouldn’t insult her intelligence by trying to persuade her she shouldn’t feel like that. It was obviously a weight she’d carried for decades.

“Would you be very upset if I didn’t take the job in London?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I only want you to be happy. I do think you should tell Paul the extent of your feelings, though. We hide such a lot from each other and time flits away. Don’t leave things unsaid. It’s not worth it. The Professor and I could have had a good few more years as a couple if we had found the words earlier.”

“You got there in the end.”

She shrugged. “For how long though? Either of us could cark it at a moment’s notice.”

“Granny!”

“It’s true. Don’t turn your back on what is right through fear.”

Aron let her words sink in. He wasn’t sure if he had the courage to confess all that to Paul. It would be far easier to run to New York. This time he’d really make a go of it. Theo had made it clear he was interested. Yet, he would be settling. Deep down, he knew that Theo didn’t make him feel anywhere near as strongly as Paul did just by being in the same room. As for the same bed, well would he ever find that again?

Maybe he should be the bigger one.

And the determination in Granny’s eyes told him that anything can be possible if you’re brave enough.