Chapter Seven

L ady Violet Winters arrived at Kingston House two days before the house's departure for London. The dark-haired beauty, who had led a very privileged life, had surprised Holly in many ways, but then she did recall Clara's letters, stating that while Violet could be prone to dramatics, she possessed an overall genuine and kind soul. Katrina had taken an instant liking to her, and they became fast friends.

With Katrina's debut set for mid-May, Holly hoped to have begun reconstructing some of her old gowns herself while still at Kingston House, but found Gavin insisting that they leave for London at once.

"It'll be better if we leave tomorrow instead of next week," he said one morning to Holly over breakfast. "The sooner we arrive, the better."

"I suppose so. This way Mrs. O'Kirk will be able to begin the task of stripping gowns herself, as opposed to me starting to do so."

"There's no need," Gavin said, leaning back from his empty plate. "There are plenty of fabric stores in London."

Sticking his hand in the breast pocket of his coat, he pulled out a small sweet, unwrapped it from its parchment paper, and popped it into his mouth. It was something that Holly had become accustomed to. After every meal, he would reach for one of his candies.

"There may be," Holly said. "But we haven't the capital."

"My uncle made it very clear in his will that you should have all that you needed for Katrina's season, Holly. I'm sure that included clothing."

Holly opened her mouth to argue, but she wasn't sure why she would. Katrina would fare far better in newly made gowns, and Holly had far fewer qualms about accepting assistance when it came to what was best for her sister.

"Very well. Katrina will have a few new gowns made."

"You will as well."

Holly as she frowned at Gavin. Why would she need anything new?

"I'm in mourning."

"Mourning is reserved for parents, spouses, siblings and the like," Gavin said, flipping the candy in his mouth with his tongue. "Not uncle-in-laws."

"John was my friend."

"And by the time Katrina makes her debut it will have been three months since his passing, more than an appropriate amount of time for a friend to have put off mourning."

Holly bristled. She wouldn't be dictated to by Gavin, even if he did make a valid point. It didn't matter. She would mourn for as long as she wanted.

"Thank you for the offer, but I really must insist on keeping my dresses as they are."

A slight, annoyed frown crossed Gavin's lips as he gazed back down at his paper, and though he didn't speak, Holly understood that their conversation was far from over.

"Where in London will we be staying?" Katrina asked, her cheerful tone sounding a little forced. Holly assumed she was trying to break the tension. "I'm terribly frightened. I've never been to London before."

Gavin's head lifted; his brow scrunched together as if she had spoken in an unknown language.

"Excuse me? What do you mean you've never been to London?"

"Just that," Katrina said, glancing at Holly. "We've never been."

Gavin followed her gaze, and Holly felt her cheeks warm.

"Why would we go to London?" she asked, somewhat defensively. "It's outrageously expensive and without many friends, the social aspects never held much fascination."

"Drury Lane? The Opera? The British Museum? None of these tempt you?"

"It's not a matter of if they tempt me, it's the practicality. It would have been wasteful to attend the season when neither of my siblings was of age to participate."

"What about you?"

Holly's frown deepened.

"Oh yes, I should have gone to London, unchaperoned and without a sponsor to what? Stroll the Serpentine?" She shook her head. "It was an impossibility."

"London should never have been out of your reach," he said. The gentle declaration settled around the room. Holly glanced at him, unsure what to make of his statement. Evidently, even Gavin was uncomfortable with having said such a thing, for he was on his feet the next minute. "If you ladies will excuse me, I have some business to attend to," he said with a quick nod before exiting the room.

Holly watched him depart, her eyes on the doorway until the fading sound of his footsteps disappeared utterly. Turning, she saw a wide-eyed Katrina and a smirking Violet.

"What was that all about?" Holly asked no one in particular.

Katrina's brows hitched up as a realization came over her face. She reached for Holly's wrist with both of her hands and squeezed.

"Do you think that the baron might… well, fancy you?"

Holly rolled her eyes and tried to pull her arm free of her sister's hands.

"Really, Katrina."

"I agree with Katrina. The baron seems practically smitten with you," Violet said.

"Smitten?" Holly repeated, somewhat flustered. She tried to ignore the fluttering of her pulse at the idea of Gavin being interested in her. It was implausible of course. They were still practically strangers, but she had to confess that a small part of her had recently begun to consider what it might be like if Gavin actually fancied her. But she wouldn't admit that out loud. "Do be serious."

"We are being serious," Katrina continued. "Why, he told me just the other day that he found you attractive."

To Holly's dissatisfaction, her heart did that wobble that always seemed to happen when Gavin walked into the room. She bent her head slightly in her sister's direction and tried to sound as uninterested as possible.

"Did he?" Holly asked.

"Yes," Katrina said before her smile faltered. "Well, he did say you were as attractive as any young lady." Holly pulled her arm away wholly. "But I think he meant it!"

"Yes, what a daring thing to admit," Holly said sarcastically. "Really, Katrina, I know you want to romanticize our situation, but the baron and I are simply bound by an illegal contract."

"But you're married."

"And seeking an annulment."

Katrina huffed and sat back against her chair, her arms folding across her chest, while Violet continued to smile.

"Very well," Holly's sister said. "But he is right. You deserve some new gowns."

"I'm perfectly content with my own dresses, thank you very much," Holly said.

Katrina gave her sister a concerned look before standing up and leaving the dining room without so much as a goodbye. Violet shrugged and followed Katrina, leaving Holly to watch as they both disappeared around the corner. Was she being too cynical about the entire matter? John had wanted her to have fine things, and though she had refused him, as it was socially unacceptable, this arrangement she found herself in now seemed to free her from the constraints that usually surrounded social gift-giving.

Gavin wished to order her new gowns. Who was she to argue? Perhaps she should allow him to follow his uncle's wishes, but the years of living shilling to shilling had made Holly wary. She couldn't help but think of a dozen other places the money could go.

She should speak to Gavin about it.

Standing up, she went to find him but found his office empty. Frowning, she turned only to nearly run into Mr. Jorden.

"Oh!" She said, her hands coming up to her heart. "Mr. Jorden, I'm sorry."

"Not at all, my lady. Are you in need of assistance?"

"Yes, actually, I was wondering where the baron has gone to?"

"He's gone to inspect the brewery building."

Holly frowned. The brewery building had been built nearly two years earlier after John had visited Whitbread's Brewery and become fascinated with the process. Of course, as was typical with John, he soon grew bored of it, and it hadn't been used since the previous spring.

"Why?" she asked.

"He had the idea of opening it up again. He said if the building was in proper working order and if it could produce a half decent ale, then he would rent the space to a few local taverns."

Holly nodded slowly, pleasantly surprised at the entrepreneurial spirit. Most ladies would probably be displeased with Gavin's involvement in commerce, seeing it as beneath someone of his station, but Holly admired it. He had a mind for making money, and as someone who had often suffered from lack of funds, that was a trait that she admired.

"Oh. Very well. I'll go and meet him there."

"Would you like an escort, my lady? The ground is wet and I'm afraid it isn't very pleasant out."

It had rained for nearly five days straight, and while she was sure the break in the weather would be brief, she did not need assistance. She had grown up in these fields, and no amount of mud could stop her.

"No thank you Mr. Jorden. I'll wear my boots, though."

"Very good, my lady."

Holly changed into her sturdy leather boots, the one piece of her wardrobe she had never skimped on. She tied the laces tightly and, wearing her oldest pelisse coat, she headed out the front door of Kingston House.

Though the air was damp, the gentle warmth of spring hung all around her. Beneath her careful steps, the mud tried to suck her feet in, but her strong legs wouldn't allow it. Holly never admitted it, for it was decidedly provincial, but the smell of earth was her favorite scent in the world. It reminded her of a time when she wasn't burdened, when she and Clara would run through the fields as children.

The walk across the western field took nearly twenty minutes until the land curved downhill. There, sat on the edge of a wood, stood a large, three-story brick building with two large barn doors facing south. A dirt road had been created to reach it from the main thoroughfare, and while it was a relatively new building, its abandoned state made it appear far older than it was.

Holly reached the building reasonably quickly, and taking a deep breath, she heaved one of the heavy, large barn doors open. The building was mostly one large room, with mezzanines built along the sides of the walls on each floor. It was an open floorplan mainly consisting of stairs going up and down, surrounding a large copper broiler in the middle of the room. It was vast, and though Holly had no idea how it worked, she knew that John had been particularly proud of that piece.

"Hello?" she called out, her voice echoing back as she glanced around. The only light was from the open door and the windows placed near the roof.

"Yes?" a masculine voice answered.

To her left, Gavin came out of a small room off to the side without his jacket and sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he carried a dirty rag and some metal bit. He stopped when he saw her, and for an instant, neither moved.

What a strange place , Holly thought vaguely as she stared at Gavin. A slash of sunshine sliced between them from the door behind her, and the dust danced in the beam of morning light. There was no dining room, parlor, or ballroom, yet Holly had never felt relatively so calm in a single place.

But then, perhaps it was simply because she wasn't surrounded by servants or crumbling walls. She was alone with a man who technically was her husband, a man she barely knew.

Except that she did know him. She knew he was an even-tempered man who always seemed to be grinning. He was someone who was eager to honor the wishes of his relative, even though their relationship hadn't been very close. She was curious about that. She was also curious why he had no qualms about financing her family's home repairs or buying her sister gowns for her upcoming season. But then, that was why she had sought him out. They needed to discuss some things.

"Can I help you?" he asked, his tone curious.

She cleared her throat and took a step to her right.

"I wanted to discuss somethings with you, before we left for London."

Gavin stalled for a moment before coming froward. He leaned against a railing that outlined the floor they were on, near the stairs leading downward.

"What things?" he asked.

She inhaled.

"I want to first thank you for being so accommodating. I know you didn't have the best relationship with your uncle and I just want to say that I think it is kind of you to want to honor his wishes, despite your history."

Gavin didn't move.

"What did he tell you of our relationship?"

Holly paused, remembering what John had said about his nephew.

"Only that you didn't approve of his sort. He said some people only knew what they were taught and that I shouldn't be too hard on you, if ever we were to meet," she said. "But I guess he knew we would meet one day."

Though the lighting wasn't great, Holly could see a blush touch the bridge of Gavin's nose. He folded his arms across his chest.

"He didn't want you to be hard on me?" he asked, and she nodded. "Why would he say that?"

Holly swallowed as she walked around the room.

"I may have been unkind when he first explained the situation. You must know, I was terribly protective of him."

"Yes, so I've gathered," Gavin breathed. "Uncle John was lucky to have someone like you. Unfortunately, he explained our relationship perfectly. I was raised to disparage people like him. My aunt in particular made it a point to criticize his lifestyle, and for a long time I thought she was correct."

"Do you still?"

"No," he said. "I've learned some time ago that the only judgment I can pass on someone is kindness."

"That's not really a judgement."

"Exactly."

Holly tilted her head.

"Is that why you're so eager to meet his requests? To make amends to him in some way?"

Gavin shrugged.

"Possibly. But having gotten to know you and your family, I believe Uncle John was, at the very least, a good judge of character when it came to his friends."

Holly smiled in spite of herself, but tried to shake it off.

"That's kind of you to say. But I must insist that we write down a proper expenditure. Just like the ledger you have for Felton House. I intend to pay all of that back in full, just as soon as the farm can turn a profit. But I also wish to keep track of the cost of Katrina's dresses, as well as fans, gloves, and the likes for her—"

"And you."

Holly shook her head.

"No, and that's why I came to talk to you. I've no need for new dresses. I know your intentions are kind, but that money can go elsewhere. I have no need for frivolous things—"

"Clothing is hardly frivolous," he said with a frown.

"Shopping on Bond Street can be."

"Well, I'm sorry London doesn't meet your modest expectations, but as you and your sister will be representing this barony, I can't very well have you both looking like paupers. Can I?"

"Well… no." Holly had to admit, she hadn't thought of that.

"And I know you don't wish to offend the memory of my uncle."

"Of course not."

"Then might you do me this small favor of making yourself presentable for the ton, particularly because you will be representing Bairnsdale, and thus your old friend?"

Holly bit the inside of her cheek. Yes, she supposed she could do that.

"Yes," she said softly, annoyed at how deftly he had gotten around her defenses.

"Thank you," he said. "I've made several appointments for you and your sister in London this coming week. I hope you don't mind traveling to town a little earlier than what would be considered fashionable, but I've some business that requires my presence."

"What business do you have in London?" she asked, curiously, before realizing how forward she was being in asking such a personal question. "Oh, um, forgive me…"

He waved his hand in the air, as if it were completely normal for her to inquire about his private affairs.

"I've several dealings that need to be settled before I commit to this new baron role."

Holly tilted her head.

"Do you mean to retire? From your banking career, I mean."

"Ha," he said, glancing around. "I prefer to think of it as trading one job for another. Managing all the Bairnsdale properties and businesses will be a job in and of itself. Besides, the bank effectively runs itself now. For the past few years, I've really only been maintaining an office there as I'm on the board of trustees, but I'll likely retire fully now."

"Oh," she said, somewhat perplexed. "Your uncle once said that you enjoyed numbers. That's why you went into banking."

A short silence followed. Holly was unsure for a moment, but when he next spoke, she thought he sounded somewhat distant.

"Indeed," he said, somewhat stiffly, before reverting back to their previous conversation. "But I assure you, you will not bankrupt this estate by buying a few dresses."

"I'm eager not to empty the estate's coffers."

He let out a laugh that startled her, sending a warm wave of comfort down her back.

"You could buy a new dress every day for the rest of your life, and it wouldn't put a dent in the monies here."

"Yes, but what I mean is—"

"Do you know what I think?" he said, stepping forward. "I think you've forgotten what it's like to be taken care of."

Holly stared at Gavin, unsure of what to do. An uncomfortable laugh bubbled in her throat, but she stifled it, taking a step back. She didn't want to sound like a fool, yet what a ridiculous thing to say.

"I assure you, I do not need to be taken care of—Ah!"

In her attempt to avoid him, Holly hadn't been watching where she was going, and she tripped over a dirt-covered piece of wood. Her hands came up to brace herself against a fall when she was suddenly wrapped in the strong embrace of Gavin.

Kneeling in one swinging motion as he cradled her to his chest, he sat her on the ground as light as a butterfly dropping on a daisy's petals. Her breathing was erratic, but then so was the pounding of Gavin's heart. She felt it beating wildly against her shoulder.

He gazed down at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his tone concerned.

"I… uh, yes," she stuttered. "Yes, quite."

He didn't appear convinced.

"Is your ankle twisted?" he asked, his hand dropping to the hem of her skirt as if he were going to inspect it. Holly nearly shrieked as she pushed her hands to his shoulders to dissuade him from proceeding.

"There's no need for that."

"If it's swollen, you shouldn't walk on it."

"It's not. It's perfectly fine. I just need some help up," she said, stretching her hands towards him in an effort to distract him from examining her.

He frowned at her.

"I won't touch it, I promise," he said, lifting the edge of her dress. "But can you press the sole of your foot against my palm? Just to placate me?"

"But my boots are filthy. You'll dirty your hands."

"I'll survive," he said with a smirk.

Holly stared at him, curious about why he should be so worried, but nodded. He held his large hand up close to her foot and waited. Feeling foolish, Holly lifted her foot slightly and pressed the sole of her foot into his palm. Though she wore leather boots, she was uncomfortably aware of the feel of resistance against his hand. What would it be like if he did wrap his thick fingers around her ankle? If he pulled her towards him?

Holly tried hard not to think of such things as Gavin pressed his fingers against her toes, testing her reflexes. When satisfied, he sat back and stood, dropping his clean hand towards her, and helping her stand swiftly.

She fell slightly forward toward him, somewhat dizzied by the movement, but pulled away almost instantly, ashamed of her thoughts. Something on her face must have made it evident because his easy smile faltered as he stared at her. His dazzling warm stare turned heated and she found herself holding her breath when he finally spoke.

"You know," he said softly, "you could let yourself enjoy it. At least, for a little while."

"Enjoy what?"

"Our marriage. Well, for as long as we have one."

Holly stared at him.

"What would I possibly find enjoyable about our situation?"

His shoulder hitched up.

"Well, if not the money or the company," he said with a wink which somehow both annoyed her and aroused her, "you might learn to enjoy being taken care of for a bit."

"I don't need anyone to take care of me."

"No. No, I don't suppose you do," he said, and her shoulders dropped, whether from relief or discontentment, she did not know. "But I think you would like it."

"And you believe you're the person to do so?" she spoke, hating the breathlessness in her tone. He nodded. "Why on earth would you want such a burden?"

"I don't think of it as a burden," he said, crowding her. "Only my pleasure. As your husband."

Holly's heart seemed to skip a beat at the word "pleasure." Some carnal part of her wanted to lean into him and learn just what sort of pleasure they might find together, but she shook her head slowly. She needed to remind him that theirs was not a real marriage.

"Must I remind you, that we aren't really—"

But Gavin's hand brushed her cheek before she could finish, stifling her words.

"You keep saying that, but it isn't true, is it? We are married." She inhaled as his fingers trailed to the side of her neck. "Let me take care of you, Holly. If only a little bit."

A battle began to volley within her. Playing this game was ridiculous and preposterous, but she wanted to do so. The smile that always seemed to sit on his lips, the scent of lemon and mint, the weight of his hand. A nameless need coursed through her at his words, and she found herself fighting off the urge to lean toward him and press her body against his.

What was wrong with her? She had never wanted so badly to be held by someone before. It all set her world on edge; even now, she was trying desperately to hold on to reality.

"It's such a little request," he said softly, his head dipping close to hers. "Grant it to me."

Holly exhaled slowly. She let herself close her eyes and then softly nodded her head.

What a poor example she was for her sex. To melt at a few choice words. But then, those words had come from a man who had done little else but try and help her since his arrival—and he seemed just as genuine in his wish to please her.

"Very well," she said so meekly that her cheeks burned with embarrassment.

Gavin's fingers came up beneath her chin.

"Good girl," he whispered against her mouth.

Holly inhaled sharply at his words and before she knew it, she leaned forward and kissed him.

She fell against him as his arms came around her back, pulling her closer to his body, her eyes closing as his tongue swept into her mouth. He kissed her as if he were trying to consume every bit of her soul.

Holly's arms unwittily wrapped around his strong shoulders, her fingers digging into his back as though she were afraid he might disappear. What was the matter with her? Sparks seemed to alight every inch of her skin, and she felt desperate and devoted all at once, writhing uncontrollably as his hands moved down her back, gripping her buttocks in a firm grasp.

A gasp may have dropped from her lips as he continued kissing her, nipping at her bottom lip in a way that made her shake, when suddenly he pulled away, throwing her off balance.

Holly was breathing heavily as he watched her with a hard, confused stare. He appeared perplexed, and though Holly wanted to lean into him and continue, he set her back, his hands unsteady on her shoulders.

The look in his eyes seemed apologetic yet hungry. What was the matter?

"I… Excuse me," he said, shaking his head as he dropped his hands from her and quickly turned, leaving the room without another word.

Holly stared wide-eyed at the barn door as he exited, unable to move for a long time as her beating heart began to settle.

What had that all been about?