Chapter Seventeen

T he excitement at the start of the social season was unlike any other, particularly the day of the debutante ball. It was as if all of London was teeming with enthusiasm and possibility. Holly had kept herself busy for most of the day, writing letters and whatnot, but Katrina had been skipping and dancing around the house. She reminded Holly of a bee, buzzing from room to room, counting the hours before it was time to get ready.

Gavin had decided to visit Mr. Armstrong that morning to rescind his and Holly's request for an annulment, but when he returned to Bairnsdale Terrace, he explained that the lawyer hadn't been in his offices.

By one o'clock, Katrina couldn't wait any longer and insisted that she begin to prepare herself. Even though the ball would not be being for several hours, they were to be presented in court before the soirée began. Holly assisted her sister in her preparations and made sure Katrina was meticulous before dressing herself.

While the debutantes being presented were restricted to white gowns and white plumage in their hair, Holly was permitted to wear any color she wished as a married woman. She debated wearing a lilac colored gown but was a devoted fan of green and chose a simple but exceedingly elegant pine green satin dress with a natural waist fitting. Holly felt rather beautiful.

Just as she finished donning her a la Grecque headdress, which was more of a thick band of fabric than a true headdress, Gavin came into her room without warning. Holly turned to see his attention entirely focused on his wrist as he tinkered with something.

"Bloody useless things," he mumbled as he entered her room, the maids scurrying off. "Holly, might I have some help from…"

He looked up then and stopped in his tracks. Holly stood in all her finery as her breath caught. He watched her with the most intent stare, and as he approached her with deliberate steps, she half expected him to say something when his arms suddenly wrapped around her, pulling her against his chest as he kissed her.

She let herself be embraced, but after half a moment, she drew back.

"Stop. You'll ruin my hair," she chided, her skin warm with appreciation.

"I can't help it," he said, kissing her chin. "You're a vision."

"That's very kind of you, but you needn't say such things."

Gavin paused in his handling of her and tilted his head.

"Why needn't I?"

"Well, because…" she fumbled. "It's not… It's overt."

A challenging smirk crossed his full lips as his hazel eyes gleamed.

"I think I shall call you a different version of beautiful every day, just to make you used to it."

Holly's cheeks warmed.

"I pray you do not."

"But it's so fun watching you change colors," he said, kissing the rim of her cheekbone. "Do you know what I first found most attractive about you?"

Holly shivered.

"No."

"Your voice," he whispered into her ear.

"My voice? Oh, dear, no. It's too deep."

"Mm, no. I think it's perfect." He kissed her earlobe, and a jolt went through her. "It's my favorite thing in the world when you say my name."

"Is it?"

"Hmm."

Holly smiled as his kisses trailed down her neck.

"Gavin," she said gently, and he groaned against the pulse in her throat.

"Say it again."

"Gavin," she said, slower this time.

His fingers dug into her backside, crushing her gown as his mouth opened, his tongue trailing down the hollow of her neck. Frantic, she pushed him away before she completely lost control.

"We've already dressed, Gavin, please."

He released her, breathing heavily. Evidently, his teasing had gone too far, and he now looked at her like she was prey.

"Stop saying my name then."

She nodded and headed for the door, but before she left, a teasing part of her took the reins and she looked over her shoulder and smirked.

"Come along. Gavin ."

He strode towards her, and she let out a little yip as she dashed away from him, hurrying towards the stairs. They were halfway down the steps when they saw Katrina and Marnie waiting patiently by the door.

Straightening her shoulders as Gavin cleared his throat, they exited the house to make their way to the coming-out ball.

St. James Palace was one of the most impressive buildings Holly had ever seen in her entire life. The sheer size of it gave her something to awe at. They waited in the carriage queue for nearly a half hour before exiting. Though it was a medieval palace, Holly couldn't help but feel she was entering some magical stronghold. And once they were brought inside, her jaw actually dropped.

The floors were covered with red carpets with a gold diamond-shaped pattern. The two-story high windows were lined with matching curtains. The walls were all painted bright white, and gold-framed paintings, the size of carriages, hung from the walls.

"Impressive, isn't it?" Marnie whispered to Katrina as they walked ahead of Holly and Gavin.

"Yes," Katrina whispered as Holly felt Gavin's bicep flex beneath her fingers.

She looked at him, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he watched her. He leaned towards her as they continued to follow a line of people to the ballroom where Katrina would be presented.

"You aren't nervous, are you?"

"Of course not," Holly lied.

"You know, if you'd like, we could have Felton Manor decorated in this same style?"

Holly grimaced.

"Oh, goodness no. This is much too…" Holly caught the teasing grin on his lips and smirked. "You're jesting?"

"Not if you actually want it."

"No, thank you," she said as they reached the doorway into the ballroom.

It was a vast room with gold accents and crystal chandeliers. White flowers had been gathered and set in large assortments around the room. Hundreds of guests filled the chamber, and Holly, Gavin, and Marnie were soon introduced. At the same time, Katrina was sequestered in another room where the other debutantes were kept before the official meeting with the head of state.

Holly peered down at her gown, wondering if she had picked the proper attire. A sheer silver netting laid over the green satin, splitting down the skirt in an upside-down V. It was a new style she hadn't ever worn before, and her nervousness must have shown for the moment after they were announced, Gavin made sure to compliment her again as he led her to the refreshments table.

"You are beautiful, Holly. You know that, don't you?"

She felt her cheeks warm.

"Thank you."

Never in Holly's life had she felt more pleased. Although she never would have guessed that being here would have that effect on her. Large parties had never interested her, but for some reason, she felt a little taller than she ever had before, simply being on Gavin's arm.

He led her through a crowded side room, nodding and greeting people as they went. He seemed to know everyone. If Holly allowed herself to indulge, she might feel insecure about it, but then it would be evident on her face, and she wouldn't want to appear anything less than perfect. Not because Gavin wanted her to be perfect but because she wished to make a good impression, for the sake of Gavin's reputation as well as Katrina's. But even as she thought these things, she knew Gavin's opinion of her could never be altered by anything the ton said or did.

It was why she loved him.

She loved him. She loved him? When in the world had she decided that? Just now? Before they arrived?

Holly's face must have demonstrated her inner turmoil, for Gavin leaned in and whispered into her ear.

"Are you all right? Is something the matter?"

Holly shook her head, unable to speak. She couldn't tell him what she had just thought. He would think she was crazy. They had only known each other for a few months. But then, why did it feel so natural to believe it?

The memories of the night before caused a flood of feelings to course through her. Desire, shame, anticipation. She wanted this entire evening and the entire ball to be in the past, not only to quell her anxiety but because it meant she would be in Gavin's arms again.

Gavin gently squeezed the tips of her gloved fingers as they walked, causing Holly to glance back at him. Evidently, the sentiment about wishing they were home was shared, for the expression he gave her was warm and deliberate. She shivered slightly as they met Derek.

"I swear, these mamas grow bolder each year," he said lowly to Gavin. "One just nearly assaulted me into agreeing to dance with her daughters."

"It does seem a cutthroat business," Gavin said, glancing at Holly. "Thankfully I'm out of it."

"And not a sight too soon. The minute you inherited that title of yours, they would have been swarming."

"Then perhaps I owe a great deal of thanks to my uncle."

"Because a few mamas wish you to dance at a ball? Surely you both aren't afraid of a few devoted mothers, are you?" Holly asked, earning her a skeptical glare from Derek.

Holly knew very well that debutante mamas were some of the most ruthless people in the kingdom, but she did enjoy teasing Derek, and the tiny nod from Gavin encouraged her to do so.

"I see this is your first time at St. James," the earl said sardonically.

Holly smiled.

"The only balls I've attended are public ones in the country."

"Well, prepare yourself. For there's never been anything quite as dangerous as a coming out ball."

Just then, it was announced that the presentation was about to begin. For the next hour, lady after young lady was presented to Princess Elizabeth, the king's sister. In Holly's opinion, each lady was more lovely than the last, and she was surprised to find that she was holding her breath by the time Katrina made her way down the crowded corridor.

Her sister's gown was simple in design, unlike many of the overtly embroidered dresses chosen by other young ladies. Katrina had decided on it herself, and while Holly had been nervous that a lack of beads and crystal might make her sister appear provincial, the opposite effect happened. Katrina seemed fresh and beautiful, not needing any fringe or embellishment to distract the eye.

It was soon whispered that Miss Katrina Smyth was the loveliest of the debutantes, and Holly's heart nearly exploded with joy. Never in her life had she much cared for the approval of anyone, but to know that her sister would be a success was enough to give her a great deal of joy.

After the presentation, the guests were ushered into the ballroom, where a few dozen musicians began to play. It was tradition for the debutantes to dance first, and Holly was rather charmed when Gavin offered to dance with Katrina.

Holly smiled as she watched them twirl away as the music began, only to be met with Mr. Mannion. She tried to make her face impassive, so as to not let him see how surprised she was to see him. What was he doing here?

"Lady Bairnsdale," he said with a slight nod, gazing at the floor. "A pleasure seeing you again."

"Mr. Mannion. I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yes, well, you're not the only one lucky enough to be connected. I've a cousin who is a marquis. Well, a second cousin, but I was able to get the old goat to invite me and the missus so that we could present our daughter," he said, scanning the floor. "There she is! Dancing with the Earl of Trembley."

Holly glanced over the crowded room, and sure enough, she was able to spot Derek, stone-faced, dancing with a young blonde lady Holly recognized as Daphne. The girl seemed to be talking excessively, as was her wont. Holly had to bite her lip to stop herself from smirking.

"How lovely," she said eventually.

"Lovely nothing. My wife is certain the earl will propose to our girl in a week or so. She had to practically push him away when he first saw her, you know. Said he'd never met a prettier girl."

"Is that so?" Holly said. "Well, my felicitations to you."

"Thank you," the man said, facing her. "I hope there aren't any hard feelings between us. What with that business with your brother and all."

Holly's smile shrank slightly. She didn't wish to discuss her brother, but ignoring the topic would only encourage Mr. Mannion.

"Of course not. It is in the past."

"A kinder lady I know not. You're quite like your mother; god rest her soul. She was an exceedingly gracious woman."

"Thank you for saying so Mr. Mannion."

"I was never able to get her to sell me Felton Manor either, you know. She was dedicated to that house just as much as you were."

Holly's brow pinched together.

"I beg your pardon, Mr. Mannion?"

"Ah, I only mean your mother was absolutely against me purchasing Felton Manor off her, even though I offered her exactly what it was worth," he said as if he was being generous by being fair. "But she wouldn't have it. A stubborn lady, she was, but I am grateful that you've at least come to your senses."

Holly shook her head, unsure of what she was hearing.

"What are you speaking about, Mr. Mannion?"

"The sale of Felton Manor, of course," he said as if she should know. "I had papers drawn up at your brother's request. It was our whole reason for coming to London. Well, that and all this, of course." He nodded around the room.

Holly's stomach dropped as she stared.

"Excuse me?" she asked, feeling suddenly light-headed. "Jasper requested papers be drawn up?"

"Yes."

Jasper had threatened to sell Felton Manor for months, but she never believed he would actually do it. He wasn't even of legal age to do so. He couldn't have had the papers drawn up until the following week.

"Mr. Mannion, I'm not sure what my brother said to you, but he isn't the executor to the property yet."

"Well, I know that."

"Then you must forgive me, because it sounds as though you're sure that someone has sold you Felton Manor."

"Well, yes, your husband has."

"My…husband," she said slowly as it dawned on her.

Gavin sold Felton Manor? But it hadn't even finished being renovated. And indeed, he wouldn't have done something so outrageous behind her back. Would he?

Suddenly desperate to speak with him, Holly made her excuses to Mr. Mannion and moved along the edge of the ballroom, following Gavin and Katrina as they moved effortlessly with the other dancers. A slight ringing filled Holly's ears as pain seized her heart.

How could she have been so foolish? Apparently, Gavin and Jasper had decided to get rid of her family home without mentioning it to her. She was furious at the betrayal, but even more surprisingly, her heart hurt. Why did she feel so heartbroken?

Unable to keep up with their dancing, Holly walked quickly, only to be stopped by Clara.

"Holly," her friend chirped until she saw her face. "Oh my, what's wrong?"

Holly opened her mouth to speak when a sudden commotion erupted behind them in the ballroom doorway. Confused, both women strained their necks to see over the crowd. The familiar, walnut-colored hair that bobbed back and forth in a devil-may-care way made Holly's insides twist.

Good god, no .

"—I've reason enough to challenge you, but I'd feel remorse for killing a child."

"Go on then!" Jasper's voice pierced her ear through the gasps and chatter. "Let us settle this like gentlemen!"

Holly was suddenly frantic. Jasper was going to kill himself, and she didn't know what to do. Thankfully, Clara gripped her wrist and pulled her down the way.

"We'll find Silas at once. He'll do something," Clara said as they moved. "What on earth is Jasper even doing here?"

"I don't know," Holly said, unsure herself. As if conjured by magic, Gavin's form suddenly crossed their paths.

Clara stopped at once but kept herself between Gavin and Holly, for which Holly was grateful. She wasn't sure what was worse, her brother making a scene or Gavin's betrayal.

"What's wrong?" he asked, but before either could answer, the commotion became more distant. Someone seemed to have led the arguing men out of the ballroom and into the hallway, though the voices carried through. Gavin frowned. "Was that Jasper?"

Holly wasn't sure what to do, much less say. She wanted to run after Jasper to settle whatever new issue he had created, but she knew it would be an empty attempt. She and her brother could not seem to cooperate on anything nowadays. A part of her wanted desperately to lean on Gavin, but the audacity of his betrayal for selling Felton Manor was too great. She tried to get away from him, from everyone in that crowded room.

Miserably, tears began to sting her eyes. She didn't want to ruin Katrina's evening, but she couldn't bear to stay, not when Jasper might be in the process of landing himself in a duel that could end in his death. She saw Clara and cleared her throat.

"Clara, will you watch over Katrina and see her home? I have to go."

"Of course—"

"Go where?" Gavin said, cutting his shoulder in front of Clara. "What's going on?"

She wanted to ignore him and pretend he wasn't even there, but she knew he wouldn't allow that—and she didn't want her family to be the cause of yet another scene. Instead, she inhaled slowly and stared him square in the eye, ignoring the pain she felt in her chest.

"Jasper is being tossed out and I've no doubt he's going to get himself killed in a duel."

"Stay here," Gavin said instantly, but her hand grabbed his sleeve, and he stopped.

"I don't want your help."

The weight of her words stalled him, and Holly was grateful that Clara had moved away. Holly could feel the frustration and hurt rolling off Gavin as he stared at her, his eyes confused.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't want your help," she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper as they spoke in the crowded room. "Mr. Mannion told me about the sale."

He had the nerve to appear confused.

"What sale?"

"Of Felton Manor. Do not deny it. He said you and Jasper had a conversation about it and papers were being drawn up."

Realization dawned on his face. So, he did know what she was talking about? A tiny part of her had hoped she was wrong and that Mr. Mannion had misunderstood somehow… but it appeared those hopes were in vain.

"You don't deny it?" she said, even knowing he wouldn't.

"Holly, let me explain."

She turned away from him, too hurt to be in his presence. She needed to leave, to find whomever Jasper offended and apologize to him so that she might still have a brother by morning.

She made it to the front entrance quickly and overheard a large, barrel-chested man with salt and pepper whiskers make fuming remarks on Jasper.

"Devil of a lad, that one," he huffed, brushing off the invisible dust off his sleeves.

"Who is he?" someone else asked.

"A pest. He caused some trouble at White's recently. Thankfully, he was thrown out."

"More like Clemet Club material."

"No doubt."

Holly bit her lip. Clemet Club was widely known as a troublesome place. Raids were conducted there almost weekly, and it was often reported in the Times that only the most desperate men would find themselves in such a place.

She moved past the gentlemen and quickly informed a footman that she wished for her carriage to be brought around. To her amazement, Gavin didn't pursue her, and by the time she was outside, waiting for her carriage, she had concluded that he hadn't ever really cared for her or her family. But then, why would he? Theirs was a marriage of convenience, a trick they both fell into.

A tear rolled down Holly's cheek as she set out on her search for her brother. She had foolishly let herself believe that some sort of fate or magic had brought Gavin into her life when it had simply been chance. There was nothing genuine between them, and as her carriage pulled away into the night, she prayed she be able to find her brother—and bury her broken heart in her search.