25. Lux

TWENTY-FIVE

LUX

How many pancakes is too many pancakes?

If you live with Ace Watson, you never find out.

"Dude, you're gonna be sick."

Ace lifted his shirt and patted his stomach. "I'm a growing boy. I've already burned a lot of calories this morning. I need to carb load."

"Can we get through breakfast without a story about you and Payton having sex?" grumbled Parker, pouring almost the entire box of Coco Puffs into an extra-large bowl, and stuck his spoon in.

Ace put down his fork, only to hold a finger directly in front of Parker's face. "One, I wasn't talking about sex, I went for a run this morning. Training starts in a month, and I'm getting ahead of the game, and two…" a second finger flipped up, "I've never told a story about Payton and me having sex."

To prove his point, Parker reached over the counter and eased a Cosmo from the top of the pile of other Cosmos which had been stacking up on the side. Flipping through the pages until he found what he was looking for, he dropped it open in fron t of Ace.

"This. You told us about this last week."

Ace glanced down at the Post-it marking Cosmo's position of the month – which he'd rated eight out of ten – a smirk tilting one side of his lip. "Yeah, this was a good one. But I never mentioned Payton. I never mention Payton to you dipshits, ever. I was simply passing on the information, like we've done with all of them."

"Yeah, that's before you two got yourself coupled up," he grumbled in a disgusted tone, his thumb flicking back and forth between us. "Tan and I don't want to listen to stories about Payton or Radley."

"Hey, I'm more than happy listening to stories about Payton and Radley," Tanner grinned, biting down on the strawberry he'd tossed in his mouth. "You know my motto…"

I spun around so quickly the spatula flew from my hand, only to be caught by Ace before it hit the floor. "I have never talked about Radley."

"And for that, we thank you. Where is Radley, anyway?"

"She went to the gym."

"Is she still pissed?"

I nodded. Pissed was one way of describing Radley right now. Seething, perhaps. Though she'd definitely woken up with more of a simmer than the boiling rage she'd been in yesterday. For the entire journey back from D.C. she'd flipped between yelling and crying.

For three hours it was all she'd done while I sat and listened, and by the time we'd made it back here, she'd almost lost her voice. I thought she'd feel better this morning, but the first thing she did on waking was call Jake to take her boxing.

"I think a few rounds with the punching bag will help, and Millie's meeting her, too. "

"Millie?" Tanner's head shot up again. "Millie's here?"

Parker and I both shook our heads, while Ace rolled his eyes.

Since the day we went skating, Millie's name had become a trigger word for Tanner. If you wanted him to pay attention, say Millie. Wanted him to hurry the fuck up? Say Millie. Wanted him to do absolutely anything at all? Say Millie.

"No. Go back to your strawberries," Ace snorted, though he wasn't so amused when Tanner swiped a pancake off his pile, narrowly avoiding a fork being stabbed through his hand. "Hey!"

"Weston's making more."

"I am?"

"Yup. I'm feeling a second breakfast coming on, seeing as Ace ate most of the first one."

"Told you, I'm a growing boy." A smile creased his face before he added, "Can we have bananas pancakes this time?"

"Ooh, and chocolate chips."

"Do I need to get a notepad to write this down?" I muttered. "Parker? Any requests from you, too?"

He looked up from the Cosmo that was still open, a spoon laden with Coco Puffs paused halfway to his mouth. "Chocolate chips is good for me. Is there any more juice?"

"In the fridge, where it always is."

"Get it, will you?"

I gestured to the mixing bowl, where I'd just thrown in a measure of flour and was pouring the milk. "I'm kind of busy right now making you second breakfast. You get it."

Parker pushed out of his chair with a loud tut , which I ignored.

"Since you're up, can you make more coffee?" snickered Tanner .

"I'll take one, and some juice too," Ace added.

Four glasses were banged down on the counter, loud enough that everyone else stopped what they were doing. It seemed Radley wasn't the only one who'd woken up in a bad mood this morning.

"Park, what's wrong with you today?"

"Nothing."

Ace got up, joined Parker on the other side of the counter, and slung an arm around his shoulders. "Buddy, what's up?"

Parker sighed so deeply I stopped whisking the batter, and even Tanner stopped eating Ace's pancakes.

"It's New Year's Eve tomorrow."

All three of us stared at him, waiting to see if he was going to add any more to what we all already knew. Based on the way he was staring back at us, it felt like we should know.

But I didn't.

"Yeah, and…"

"Midnight…" he sighed again. "You guys are all going to be making out… and I'm not."

"Tanner won't be," Ace added helpfully, or perhaps not, given the way he got scowled at.

"Hey! I might be. I could make out with someone."

I glared at Tanner until he stopped talking and turned back to the matter at hand. "Park, bud, if you want to make out with someone, then I'm sure we can find you any one of a hundred girls who'd only be more than willing."

But he shook his head so sorrowfully, I could almost feel it in my belly. "Nah, I don't want a random girl."

The silence in the kitchen was only broken by the spluttering of the coffee machine firing up, and he turned back to it while the rest of us looked at each other for some kind of solution to Parker's problem.

The batter hissed as it dropped onto the griddle.

"We do need to talk about tomorrow night. Do we have a plan yet?"

"We've got Stone's New Year's party if we want to go to it. He has that sick terrace we can watch the fireworks from," I replied, and flipped over the first pancake, "but we can ask the girls when they get back here."

"Girls? Is Millie coming back here?"

Parker gently placed a coffee in front of Tanner. "Dude..."

"What?"

He opened his mouth then closed it, like he'd though better of whatever wisdom he was about to impart. "Nah, you know what? I was gonna say don't do anything stupid, but you do you, bro. Don't waste time fucking around like I did. If you want to pursue Millie, then I fully support that."

A wave of emotions passed over Tanner's face before he pushed off his stool. Rounding the island, he pulled Parker into an embrace.

"Thanks, man. You've no idea how much I appreciate you saying that. And you know what? If you want Scout, we are going to go and goddamn get her. I give you my word, I won't stop until you have her."

Parker wrapped his arms around Tanner and slapped him on the back. "Thanks, bud. I love you."

Ace and I watched the little bromance in silence, not wanting to disturb their moment, until he took a giant glug of juice which was more about disguising his grin. "Well, that was lovely. "

A much cheerier Parker placed the final coffee on the counter, and went back to what was now a soggy bowl of Coco Puffs and the Cosmo. Ace took responsibility for pouring out more juice, while Tanner returned to his stool and dished out the second stack of pancakes I'd made just as the buzzer for the elevator went off, alerting us someone was on the way up.

"We really need to stop giving people the access code," he said, twisting the cap off the extra-large jug of maple syrup we kept, because regular sized ones lasted less than a week.

"Um… I seem to recall you giving it to your sister, and no one else has it except Payton and Radley. It's probably just one of them."

His eyes flicked over to the doors as they pinged open, until he saw who it was and immediately focused back on the task in hand. Syrup.

"See? It's Radley."

I could understand why Tanner thought it was Radley, but the Secret Service agent who stepped out of the elevator wasn't one I recognized. Neither was the one after him. Or the one after that.

No, these guys looked way more formal, not to mention older, than Jake and his team.

"Hey, Radley, you want pancakes?" Parker asked as he heaved the stacked plate in the air without bothering to look around.

"Wait there, please," the first agent ordered.

"Calm down, Captain America, we know the drill by now. There's plenty for you, too." Tanner rolled his eyes but also hadn't looked up from his plate, or his own edition of Cosmo.

"I said wait there."

"We're not moving," Ace snapped back, pushing a juice over the island to Tanner. "And no one's been here since you left this mo rning, so chill your boots."

"Dude, shut up," I hissed, as two agents disappeared down each of the hallways. Another four checked the laundry, the fire-exit, and the guest bathroom. That made eight. Only two guys ever came up with Radley. "Something's not right."

"What're you talking about?" Tanner mumbled through a giant mouthful.

"I don't think it's Radley."

"Who else is it going to be?"

I looked down at the kitchen floor to see if my stomach had actually dropped out of my body, because there was only one thing which could explain this dread spreading over my skin like a rash. If it were a movie, the Darth Vadar music would be playing right now. Hail to the Chief was way too jolly.

"Well, this is exactly how I expected four baseball players to live."

Milk and Coco Puffs splashed everywhere as Parker's spoon was dropped right before it entered his mouth. An entire glass of juice joined it, flowing over the counter as Ace continued pouring. The rest of my insides united with my stomach on the floor, but all that was nothing compared to the mouthful of pancake and maple syrup Tanner inhaled, and now seemed to be choking on.

We were all too shocked to speak, never mind too shocked to notice Tanner was straining against the batter ball lodged in his throat and couldn't breathe, until a passing agent whacked him hard on the back and loosened it. It was only as Tanner fell forward grasping at his neck and wheezing in as much air as he could that any of us moved.

I crouched down, steadying him before he fell over. "Shit, dude, are you okay? "

"No," he rasped, "I'm fucking not."

It probably wasn't the time to tell him he shouldn't take such big mouthfuls.

"Ace!" I shouted, as the juice ran off the counter and dripped down my shirt.

"Fuck!"

"All clear," someone announced as I lifted Tanner to his feet and sat him back in his stool.

I handed him the overflowing glass of juice. "Drink this."

All but two of the agents left in the elevator. The ones who remained guarded it like… well, like the President was in our apartment.

Emily Andrews stepped down into the living area and walked into the kitchen. Tanner's mouth still hadn't closed, like he was afraid his oxygen supply would get cut off again if he did. Ace was making no attempt to mop up the fresh orange juice dripping everywhere. Parker had yet to blink, though he did jump from his stool and pull the spare one out.

"Thank you," President Andrews replied, easing into it like she joined us for breakfast every weekend, and we weren't all staring at her and wondering if she was a hallucination.

The bag she'd been holding was dropped on the floor. She removed her baseball cap, placed it on the one dry patch of counter and ran her fingers through her short blonde hair, until it fell perfectly in the style she was known for.

Up close, she was almost as small as Radley; clad in sneakers, jeans, and a Presidential Letterman jacket. I'd only ever seen her on T.V. or on slightly smudged front pages, so I'd never realized how alike they were, but there was no mistaking the genes.

Her eyes were a slightly darker shade, and didn't have the same ring of dark green that Radley's did. Her face had lines where Radley's didn't, fanning out from the creases of her eyes and smile, but she'd definitely passed on her bone structure; soft, rounded cheekbones, and a sharpened jaw. She was Radley in thirty years, and it made me wonder what I'd look like next to Radley then.

"Are those pancakes?"

I glanced down at the stack she'd nodded to, even though I had to have made fifty this morning, I still needed confirmation. "Um, yeah."

"Great, I'm starving."

I was definitely on autopilot as I pulled a plate from the cabinet and forked out a couple for her, adding strawberries and dollop of the coconut yogurt Tanner liked.

I placed it in front of her.

"Syrup?" Ace asked, picking up the jug.

"Yes, please, and I wouldn't say no to some coffee either."

Before she'd finished her sentence, Parker had sprinted around to the machine and flicked it on.

We all watched as she cut into the stack and bit into her first mouthful.

"Wow, these are good," she nodded. "You know there's still juice dripping, right?"

"Fuck!" cried Ace again, his eyes immediately shooting to the President, though she hadn't noticed the swearing, or maybe didn't care.

"Did you make these from scratch?"

I nodded. It was all my brain could cope with as most of it was taken up with wondering what alternate universe I'd found myself in. Parker silently placed a coffee in front of her, Ace finished mopping up the juice and the remains of the soggy Coco Puffs, and Tanner kept eating. We stood and waited .

It was only following a swift kick to my shin that I realized Ace was attempting to get my attention. I looked up to find his eyes wide and wildly flicking back and forth between me and the countertop, though it was anyone's guess what he was trying to do, or what he was trying to mouth to me. His entire face clenched and turned an alarming shade of pink. Parker didn't seem to know what he was doing either. But then my eyes landed on the stack of Cosmos, and the one open to Ace's rating.

If you had told me that within two hours of waking up, the President of the United States would be sitting in my kitchen eating pancakes while I tried to figure out how to remove fifteen issues of Cosmo, including the one in front of her open at a page graphically detailing a sexual position I never ever wanted put in her imagination, all without her seeing it, I'd have laughed in your face.

Yet here I was.

Parker and Ace were still glaring at me with crazed eyes.

"Tan, pass the President more strawberries," was a sentence I'd never expected to say, but she turned enough that it gave Parker the time to whip the magazine away and cover the rest with a hoodie he'd left on a stool.

Jesus. I take back everything I said about being fit for the C.I.A.

I was going to have a heart attack at this rate. I'd never live to see Radley again. The tension was too much; I couldn't take it any longer. Then I realized I'd completely blanked on how to address her. Mrs. President didn't sound right. Madam…

"Um… Radley's not here."

She pushed her empty plate to one side. "I know. I came to see you. "

Of all the things I hadn't expected this morning, her answer had to top it.

"Radley doesn't know I'm here," she continued. "I didn't think she'd be here if I told her."

"Do you always turn up unannounced?"

She laughed, the same laugh Radley had, and picked up her coffee. "Never. This was quite fun. Maybe I'll try and do it more often."

"Does anyone know you're here?"

"No one that doesn't need to."

"How did you get here?"

"I snuck out, with my detail. Took a couple of unmarked cars, and drove up."

My jaw dropped, as did the other three, all of us hanging onto every word. "You drove up from D.C.?"

"I mean, I was driven. I don't get to drive these days, but it was the only way I could stay under the radar."

"But…" I looked at the clock, trying to figure out what time she'd left. It was only nine a.m. here.

"I couldn't sleep," she replied softly, glancing around at our audience. "Do you three think you could give me a moment alone with Lux, here?"

Parker crossed his arms, and stood firm. "With all due respect, Madam President, you've come with a protective detail. Just think of us as Weston's." Emily Andrews' eyes responded for her; a move I had no doubt she got to practice on an hourly basis. Parker didn't even bother to try and win the staring competition, he just thumbed behind him to the couch. "Sure, we'll be over here, but I want to say something first. You couldn't ask for a better guy than Lux for Radley, so if you've come to break them up, you're making a big mistake. "

I scrubbed a hand down my face smothering my grin, even more so when Tanner added quietly as he slunk off, "Let me know if you'd like another coffee."

"Quite the household you have here," she said, turning back once the three of them had safely arrived by the couch, "and excellent views."

I followed her gaze, but it was one I saw all day, every day, and while impressive, I had no interest in it right this second.

"You haven't come to talk about the view, and President or not, you can get back in your cars and go home if you think I'm breaking up with Radley."

"I haven't come to ask that."

I leaned back against the still-warm stove. "Then what?"

She took a breath, shifting in her chair. "I heard about the glitter bomb. My son showed me the video in fact. It was very funny."

I nodded. "Yeah."

"I should thank you, really."

"There's no need. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It was actually Parker's idea."

She spun around just after Parker's head snapped away, like they weren't all listening to every word we said.

"That was a very dark period for all of us, Radley especially, and that brought a little light back. If I had my way that… person ," she almost spat… "would rot in a jail cell somewhere. But unfortunately, I don't have that kind of power."

My head bobbed, but it didn't seem like she required a response, so I kept my mouth shut.

"I'm here because I wanted to see for myself how sincere you were… not just take Radley's word for it. I needed to see it for myself, and after yesterday didn't go to plan… well, sports stars hav e cultivated a certain reputation…" She left the implication hanging in the air. "No offence to you."

The pile of Cosmos sitting a foot away from her coffee cup was almost burning a hole in my brain, but I managed to reply. "None taken."

"I wasn't about to let Radley make the same mistake."

"I understand that, I really do."

She picked up her cup again, drained the rest of her coffee, and leaned into the counter. "Radley told me you knew about everything that happened to her."

My head bobbed again.

"She's been through a lot, you know. Radley… she's softer than the rest of us. She doesn't have my hard edges, or her father's resilience, and I don't know how she'd survive going through it again."

I didn't say a word, I just stared at her.

It sounded to me like she didn't really know her daughter as well as she thought she did – or her vision was clouded. Because while Radley had been through a lot, more than anyone should go through, I had never once thought of her as soft. Not like her mom meant; weak.

Radley was the opposite of weak.

"When I heard what happened yesterday, my first reaction was panic. Panic that he'd gotten close enough to her in the first place, panic someone had seen and she'd be dragged through the same thing all over again. Panic, which isn't an emotion they encourage world leaders to have." She huffed a laugh, though it was anything but funny. "The only thing I can do is protect her with the best guards in the world."

I realized why she was such a good politician. She reeled you in, she deflected every question, or answered with one of her own. She used seventy-five words when six would have sufficed, un til you couldn't remember what you'd asked. The last twenty-four hours I'd cursed her with every word I had in my vocabulary for making Radley cry, but now I felt sorry for her.

She wasn't just the President; she was a mom who hurt, and wanted to make sure her daughter was okay.

I was beginning to wonder if maybe her eyes weren't bloodshot from tiredness alone.

"I can imagine."

Having two sisters, I often acted as mediator between them, or between them and my mom. It was one of my hidden talents, and I'd lost count of the amount of times one or other had called to rant to me, only for the other to beep through on call waiting.

"Madam President…"

She held her hand up. "You can call me Emily. I think it's best we don't keep this official."

"Um… sure. Emily…" I drew in a breath, "I know what it feels like to watch someone you love break down. I know the helplessness that comes with it, but surrounding her with more guards isn't the answer, and will only push her away."

She fixed those steely gold eyes on me, with the look of someone who'd forgotten what it was like to be told no. "Then what?"

"The Radley you're describing is not the Radley I know. I've never met someone more sure of what they want, and determined to go after it. She's not weak, she's strong and brilliant. She has more resilience in her than anyone I know, and yesterday she wasn't scared. She was an angry woman defending herself against the biggest bully. She did that without my help, or Special Agent Riley's. It was all her, and she came away smiling." I shook my head, more at myself as I remembered how badly I'd handled my own shit. I was the panicked one, where she'd been nothing but cool. "We could all learn more about how to overcome obstacles from her."

The President turned to the windows again. Far down below us, lines had formed for entry into the U.S.S. Intrepid, sitting proud on the Hudson. The sun was still low enough that it created a halo around the ship, bouncing off the wings of the aircraft resting on the top deck, waiting for the day's visitors. When she turned back to me, her expression had changed, showing less concern, and more resignation.

"Do you love my daughter?"

I replied without hesitation. "Very much."

"And what would you do in my position?"

The answer was simple. I didn't blink as I held her gaze. "Trust her. She needs to feel like you trust her to live her life. She needs to feel capable."

She nodded slowly, though I had the impression she didn't need my answer, because this wasn't about Radley but about me and what I would do. "You're going to get photographed a lot."

"I'm photographed a lot anyway," I shot back.

Whatever she was about to say died on her lips as the buzzer for the elevator went off. I was ninety-nine percent sure this wouldn't be Payton or Holiday. I pushed off the counter and gestured to the boys, right as the ding of the doors sounded, and out walked Radley.

"Mom?!"

"Hi, sweetheart," Emily jumped off her stool and smiled, her eyes softening as she looked at her daughter's flushed and still sweaty face from a hard workout.

"Come on, guys, let's leave them to talk in peace." I pushed Tanner and Parker toward the elevator, pressing a kiss to Radley's t emple as I passed. "I love you. Call me if you need anything."

"Where are we going?"

"Downstairs," I replied to Ace, and grabbed the back of his sweatshirt, tugging him with me, shoving him the last few steps inside.

"Wait!" he cried, sticking his head out before I could stop him. "Madam President… about Opening Day…"

Parker slapped a hand over Ace's mouth and pulled him back into the elevator right before the doors closed.

Right before he made an ass out himself, more like.