23. Radley

TWENTY-THREE

RADLEY

It's a strange thing seeing a guy you'd only ever known as an unwavering beacon of strength, fidget like there were red hot fire ants crawling in his pants.

In the last fifteen minutes, I'd watched Lux stand up, sit down, stand up again, check his reflection in the mirror, smooth his hair, rub his hands together, change his shirt, rub his hands down his pants, smooth his hair again , flip through a magazine laying on the coffee table, and go back to the mirror.

"Babe?"

No answer.

"Lux?"

His head snapped in my direction to where I was still laying in the very comfortable bed at the Four Seasons, whe re I'd hoped we'd be staying for most of the day. But something told me that wasn't going to happen.

After six days apart, I'd been waiting for him the second he'd touched down at Ronald Reagan airport this morning. Thirty minutes later, he'd checked into the Four Seasons, and we'd barely come up for air since. Tonight, he would be coming for a quiet dinner to meet my family where my brothers promised they'd be on their best behavior, even though I knew Ben had bought the new season Phillies uniform.

I'd expected to be more nervous than Lux, because that was the frequency I ran on, but watching Mr. Squirmy, who was now flicking back through the closet again, apparently I was wrong.

"Huh? What? What did you say?"

I got up on my knees, wrapping myself in the comforter. "Babe, it's just dinner at home. I thought you were chilled about it."

"I am chilled, but I'm also meeting your parents for the first time and they need to love me, and it might be home, but it's also the White House. I've never been to the White House before."

I shifted to the end of the bed, beckoning him to me. "They're going to love you. Why wouldn't they?"

"They're Phillies fans for one, who are notoriously tricky to win over. I mean, every time we play you, the haters are out. Why couldn't you support someone else?" He dropped his head with a grumble.

I grinned. Was it wrong to kind of enjoying seeing him like this? That, for once, I was the self-assured, confident one? "Babe, to love me is to love my allegiances, and I'm a Philly for life."

"Goddamn Phillies. How am I going to spend the rest of my life with Phillies fans as my family?" He turned back to the closet like he hadn't just dropped an atomic sized bomb of information on me.

"What?" I blinked.

"What?"

"What did you say about the rest of your life?"

"That I'm going to be related to Phillies fans," he repeated, two lines appearing on his brow, marking his otherwise perfect skin, "and I need to make them love me, why else do you think I'm nervous?"

"Because you're meeting my parents?"

"Yeah, but at some point in time I'm going to need to ask your dad's permission to marry you, so it would be much better all-around if this first meeting went well."

I frowned. I definitely think I'd heard what he'd said, but the way he was paying more attention to the two shirts he was holding out in front of him made me question my hearing abilities, and the possibility we were having two completely different conversations.

"Did you say you want to marry me?" I managed to squeak out.

Lux stilled, stiller than I'd ever seen him, took a deep breath, and put back the shirts. Before I could blink again, he'd crossed the room and wrapped his arms around me. I breathed in the familiar, heady scent of oak and woods, smoky and intoxicating; the scent of him. The scent I now associated with love, with calm, and with home.

"I do. At some point, when we're ready, and you've graduated. But yeah, you're my future, Radley. I love you, and I can't ever imagine not loving you."

My reaction wasn't unlike one I'd had before; a big fat ball of tears clogging my throat, eyes open so wide they were almost painf ully stinging, and a profound burning in my chest. But this time, there wasn't the undertone of panic, there was no cortisol flooding my bloodstream. Instead, a glowing warmth replaced the usual cold sweat.

No fear.

It did turn out I was holding my breath, however.

"Radley!"

Air hit my lungs as I forced it in, dislodging the ball of tears so I could swallow it back down.

"Yeah?"

"Did you just hold your breath?"

"I think so," I nodded.

"Why?"

"Um…" I sucked in the corner of my lip, trying to figure out that answer myself. "Because I could feel tears in my throat and I didn't want them."

"So you held your breath?"

"I didn't mean to, I just…" I blinked hard, clearing my blurry, watery vision so I could look at the most perfect man I'd ever met, one who loved me unconditionally, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. "I think my body was reacting. It's become so used to fight or flight, and this time it wouldn't allow any panic to set in. I didn't want the moment to end; I wanted to keep it forever." The smile I gave him originated from the very center of my core, and turned into laughter, though Lux still looked mildly concerned. "The only thing I know… I've never felt this happy in my entire life, and I can't imagine not loving you either."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

His mouth dropped to mine, his perfect soft lips molding to my lips u ntil I opened up and let him in. I would never have enough of kissing this man, or the way his tongue brushed against mine, sending tiny shockwaves to every cell in my body, until I vibrated at a frequency only he could hear. I would never have enough of the way his long fingers always speared through my hair, pulling me into him like he would never have enough.

It was hard to believe that someone I'd only known about in the abstract four months ago was now so integral to my life, I couldn't imagine it without him – or how quickly things can change when you let them.

He pulled away with a soft hum.

"Okay, I feel less jittery now." He smacked one last kiss to my lips. "You get dressed; we have some time to kill before dinner. We'll wrap up and you can give me a tour of D.C."

"Hmm," I mumbled to myself, swinging my legs off the bed and testing them first to see if they'd hold up. After that kiss, a walking tour of D.C. was the last thing I wanted to do.

It wasn't one of those two-minute, high pressure, freshening up situations, but I still managed to shower, get dressed, and be walking through the hotel lobby, my hand in Lux's, twenty minutes later. Outside, the sky was beautiful and crystal clear, but Arctic-cold. Every few seconds, a blast of freezing air hit us from guests walking through the entrance. It had me pulling my thick beanie lower, and the neck of my long puffer coat higher. One benefit of this weather was being so wrapped up in clothes it was almost impossible to see the person underneath.

"Shit," muttered Lux, patting down his pants and jacket. "I think I left my phone in the room." He glanced over to Ethan and Jake, and back to me. "Are you okay waiting here? I'll run and get it – or do you want to come with me?"

"No, you go. I'll be fine here," I replied, giving him my most reassur ing smile. "I'll see you in a couple of minutes. Go."

He smacked a kiss to my lips and sprinted back to the elevators. I stepped to the side of the huge lobby entrance with its thick striped marble flooring, and tables brimming with fresh winter flowers, positioning myself so I was partially hidden by one of the dozen Christmas trees twinkling near the main doors.

"Radley, Ava, and Meg are outside, where do you want to walk to?" asked Jake.

"We can go down to the Lincoln Memorial and walk around the gardens. It's pretty down there."

"You got it," he replied, returning to where Ethan was standing on the other side of the lobby.

Did you know scent is one of the most powerful triggers of memory and emotion? Studies have shown that scent is more powerful than sight when it comes to prompting our brains into recalling moments of time we'd long forgotten.

Or, in my case, had tried hard to forget.

I'd smelled him first; almost gagging on the sickly, cloying, rotten scent that wafted past. Every nerve ending, every cell in my body kicked up on high alert. The flood gates opened; cortisol and adrenaline surged through my blood until I couldn't tell whether I was shaking, or D.C. was experiencing its first earthquake.

"Well, well, if it isn't America's Sweetheart."

I looked up into a pair of eyes I'd once, briefly, thought were kind, but now there was nothing but coldness behind the icy blue irises. Nothing like the fiery warmth of Lux's beautiful hazel eyes, the ones I could stare at all day and never get bored. The ones which seemed to change color every time I looked at them .

"How've you been, Radley?" His gaze moved slowly down my body, and by the time it had moved back up, I was fighting the puke pushing up my throat. "You look good."

I jerked away from his hand reaching out, and in less than a second, Jake was next to me. "Step back."

"Chill, I'm not doing anything." He held his palms up, "just wanted to say hello to my ex-girlfriend, and tell her she's looking good."

"I'm not going to tell you again, step back," Jake growled.

Machiavellian would be the best way to describe the smile on Christopher Ellington as he looked up at Jake.

"What's going on?" Lux demanded as he barged through, positioning himself next to Jake until I was barely visible behind the pair of them. "Radley?"

"Oh look, it's the baseball player."

Lux narrowed his eyes, and I felt the exact moment when he realized who was standing in front of him.

I tugged on his arm, attempting to break the tension and pull us out of there, because this was only going to end one of two ways – neither of them good. Lux and Jake had at least six inches and seventy-five pounds on him; meaning Christopher was either so dumb and I'd never realized it before, and possibly had a death wish, or he'd spotted an opportunity he could use as leverage.

No prizes for guessing which one.

"You should be thanking me, Weston."

"Yeah, for what?"

"I warmed her up for you."

Lux let out a slow huff, his entire body expanding as he pulled his shoulders back and stepped forward. The tips of his Air Jordans brushed Christopher's shiny black loafers, towering ove r him to the point where Christopher had to crane back to look at him.

"If you think I don't know who you are, you're wrong. You're nothing but a tragic little weasel who will amount to fuck-all. I know what you did to Radley. It will follow you around for the rest of your life, because I will always be watching, and I will always find you."

Christopher's face screwed up, waiting for the punch that never came. Lux's loud scoff had him opening one eye first, followed by the other, until they were wide enough to allow his misplaced confidence to return.

"Pathetic," he snarled.

I don't know where it came from; I'd never even been boxing, but I put it down to the hours and hours of Martin Scorsese movies Parker had made us watch before the holidays.

"Yeah, how about this?"

Two years of hurt, humiliation, and shame was packed into my right fist when it collided with his jaw. I'd like to say he crumbled to the ground, but he mostly teetered a little and lost balance. I don't know who was more shocked – me, Lux, Jake, or Christopher.

Ethan had crossed the lobby in less time than it took for me to lower my hand, and my heart to beat.

"Radley, let's go," Jake snapped, while also managing to snarl at Christopher, "You wait here."

"Assistance needed," Ethan ordered into his mouthpiece, and five seconds later, Meg and Ava rushed through the doors, searching for us.

The weasel in front of me wiped a bead of saliva from the corner of his mouth. "You've just made the biggest mistake of your life. "

Shaking off Jake's hands gripping my arm, I stepped forward. "The biggest mistake of my life was giving you my number. This is retribution."

"Yeah? Tell that to my lawyer."

Calm took over as I smiled at him, one of Jake's killer smiles. "I don't think so, because if this makes any summons, any legal document, intent to sue, or one word of what you just did is aired anywhere, I will put out a statement detailing exactly what happened between us. Every little detail up to when you leaked those pictures of me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he scoffed.

I scoffed right back in his stupid face. "I think you do."

"You can't prove anything, otherwise you would have done it already."

I shook my head, slow and deliberate. "You're wrong. I never had the courage before, and I didn't want my name or my family dragged through the media again, but I'm stronger than I was two years ago. I'm not the na?ve girl you manipulated, and this time I will protect myself, and anyone I love." I narrowed my eyes. "What you did was disgusting, not to mention illegal. Scandals in D.C. aren't ignored the way they used to be. I will do every talk show who'll have me. I'll write a book. I will tell my story, and I will prey on you the way you preyed on me. Your name will be worthless by the time I'm done, and in a town where names mean everything, you'll be nothing."

To his credit, he barely flinched. Barely. The slight twitching in his left eye gave it away however.

"You don't have the guts," he spat.

"You wanna find out?" I leaned in closer, my head tilting as I studied his beady little eyes, his slightly greasy skin, and weak jaw. "You know… you've got something on your face. It looks like GLITTER ."

I didn't miss the way he shrank like he'd been slapped hard before Lux successfully pulled me away. "Radley, let's go."

Jake and Ethan were hot on our heels, leaving Meg and Ava to deal with Christopher Ellington.

"Ouch." I shook my hand after the elevator doors closed behind us. "Ouch, fuck. His jaw was harder than it looked."

I glanced up to find Lux, Ethan, and Jake all staring at me. "What?"

"I can't believe you did that," Lux said and pulled me into his chest, dropping a kiss on my head as he turned my hand over in his, examining a small cut and the swelling over my knuckles. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for putting you in that position. I should never have left you, and I never should have gotten in his face. I provoked him."

"Hey," I began, tipping his chin to face me, "you have nothing to be sorry for. You defended me to that piece of shit. You've done more for me than anyone's done, and you left me with the best trained guards in the world."

Based on the almost stricken look on Lux's face, my words didn't seem to have made a dent. Ethan was still on his cell, and my eyes met Jake's, who, if I wasn't mistaken, looked impressed, if not a little amused.

"Jake? What do you think?"

"I think it's going to cause a load of paperwork, and we need to work on your right hook. But…" his lip quivered, before a wry smile lifted one corner, "that was the best thing I've ever seen."

I tried to hold in the smile; it didn't work.

"Baller," Jake continued, "none of that was your fault."

Lux nodded a thanks, but he hadn't looked up from my hand. The th robbing was setting in by the time we made it back to the suite.

"Jeez, how do boxers do this all the time?"

"Their hands are wrapped, for one. They wear gloves for another," Lux replied, leading me over to the couch. "Sit down."

"Hey," I called to him as a thought occurred. "I've just crossed something else off my list."

Lux and his serious face returned, dropping to his knees in front of me, with a handful of ice bound in a cloth napkin. The sharp, piercing cold shot through me as he placed it on my sore knuckles, and I winced loudly.

"Goldilocks, if you're gonna play with the big boys, you need to take the pain that comes with it," he chuckled softly, his hazel eyes searching my face as he gently shifted the ice around my hand. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"Are you sure, Radley? You're not in shock?"

Closing my eyes, I took a breath. The adrenaline had settled, my heart rate was normal, the anxiety which spiked when I first saw Ellington had retreated to nothing. Lux was still staring at me with his brows furrowed until I smoothed them out with my spare hand.

"I'm sure. I feel good. Truly." I smiled wide, feeling it warm me from the inside. It was the same rush I'd had coming out of the gym to meet Millie, like I'd won. "Are you okay?"

He nodded slowly and finally, finally smiled. "My girlfriend's badass. Yeah, I'm okay."

"Do you think anyone saw?"

"We'll find out soon. I'm just going to see if there's any Band-Aids or antiseptic so I can clean this cut. "

Ethan was still on his cell in one corner, Jake was on his cell in the other corner, both of them looking out of the vast window and along Pennsylvania Avenue; at the end of which my mom would be in her office.

A tiny flicker kicked up in my belly. There's no way she wouldn't find out about this. I just hoped I'd be able to tell her at dinner… or at least be present when she was informed. Maybe even with Lux. There wasn't much to tell; it's not like I was taken hostage or anything…

Bottom line – I was fine, Lux was fine. It would all be fine.

I was still running over my worst-case scenarios when Jake turned around and shut off his cell, just as Lux returned from the bathroom with a hotel medical kit.

"I have good news, and I have some less good news."

"Start with the good news…"

"From what we can gather, there were no witnesses. It was quiet when we were down there, except for a couple of guests checking in, but we weren't in their eyeline, and they've been discounted. Meg thinks you scared that dickhead, Ellington, enough that he won't repeat what happened. At least not for the moment." He took a deep breath. "Ava and Meg have removed him from the premises, and they're with hotel management right now for any security footage."

That all sounded positive, almost too positive. "What's the less good news?"

"Ethan's radioed it in, the director of the presidential detail has been informed, and," he paused, though it might have just been a wince, "your mom knows. She wants you back at base, right now."

I closed my eyes, letting out a groan. "That didn't take long."

Lux peered up at me, his face soft and searching mine. "Let me finis h cleaning up your hand, then we'll go."

"Actually, Lux…" The pair of us stared at Jake. He'd never called Lux by his first name. We were about to go from less good to worse… "It's Radley only. You need to stay here."