Chapter 32: Kelley

Chapter 32

Kelley

I’m pissed. No, I’m more than pissed.

I’ve been worried about this moment happening. About being traded or made to feel like I’m not good enough.

I had an amazing season last year with Philly, and now, because of a string of unfortunate games and a slump, they’re kicking me out. Really? Trades happen all the time, and from the outside, this move might seem warranted, but the first chance they get, and bam, I’m out of there.

“I need to call Damon back,” Thad says. He’s staring at me with concern in his eyes, and I don’t blame him.

I went full meltdown mode on him. Real attractive, Kelley .

Not that it really matters because now, with me moving to LA and Thad living in New York, whatever I thought we were building or could possibly build has been cut off at the knees.

Which is another thing I’m mad as hell at.

I’m so mad I could cry, but I’m not going to let that happen. I stare up at Thad. “Call Damon and tell him I’m going into the office.”

Thad hits Call on his phone. It’s not until he says, “He’s here with me,” that it registers it’s a Sunday, and Thad and I have no logical reason to be together on a Sunday morning. “Yeah, I’ll bring him in. We’ll be there in twenty.” He ends the call and turns to me. “ I need to shower, get in some fresh clothes, and try to get rid of this lingering alcohol and sweat smell.”

“I can wear what I wore home yesterday, I guess.”

Thad shakes his head. “Joshy, go grab one of your suits for Kelley to borrow.” He holds his hand out for me to help me stand. “I’d give you one of mine, but you’d be swimming in it.”

He’s being so nice, so … boyfriendy, and not at all like the Thad I first met, and now he’s put everything on the line for me.

“What did Damon say?” I ask. “When he found out I was with you?”

Thad doesn’t seem rattled. “Surprised, but nothing happened last night. You came to my birthday party because we’re friends. That’s all it was.”

Even if that’s the truth of what happened, we both know there was more to it than that. Maybe he was too drunk to remember, but last night, he said he wished we could see each other more often. We were on the same page.

I was even thinking about talking to him about asking Damon if we could date without it affecting either of our positions with King Sports. It wouldn’t have been the best time to come forward publicly with a relationship with how bad I’ve been playing, but I was seriously contemplating it.

And now … now everything is falling to pieces, and I’m not sure I’m going to recover from this setback. Every time I head toward that pitcher’s mound now, all I’m going to think of is that I was traded. That I only have another year and a half left on my career.

Because that’s all I get.

Two years after coming out. I wanted to be the outlier, not the rule, but it’s looking like I won’t get that.

I dress while Thad showers, and it only takes us ten minutes to head out the door and another ten to walk to the King Sports office.

We’re silent most of the way, only asking important questions like “Do you know where you’re going?”

To which Thad replies, “Yeah, I think I know my own way to the job I work at five days a week. Unless you’re talking about a philosophical life kind of way. In which case, no. I have no fucking idea.”

Fair enough. It was a stupid question to ask, but he’s been leading me down side alleys and across streets. I don’t know New York well, and it feels like we’ve gone in circles somehow.

I’m not sure if it’s the hangover or if Thad’s as mad as I am that I’ve been traded. I want to ask, but I also don’t want to seem full of myself. It’s not my ego wanting to ask him how he feels about it; it’s my heart.

Because aside from coming out and playing badly and the all-around dickness of the team’s management for deciding this, one of the things that is most upsetting is I don’t get to see how Thad and I turn out.

Sure, we’re only getting started, but the potential … it’s such a wasted opportunity.

Thad lets us into the building and uses his staff ID to get us up to the right floor.

Damon, Merek, and Brady are waiting for us. Brady has two large cups of coffee—the cafe-bought kind, not the office kind—and he hands me one and Thad the other.

Thad frowns but accepts it, and then they lead us to the infamous conference room where Thad spilled his coffee all over me.

Ah, the good old days.

I want to make a joke about keeping Thad away from me with the weapon Brady just gave him, but I don’t have it in me.

As we all take a seat and Thad sits next to me, Damon, Merek, and Brady have documents in front of them.

“We’re sorry Merek had to call you like that,” Damon says. “Especially seeing as the team hadn’t informed you beforehand.”

Getting trade notice from your agent can be common, but it’s another big fuck-you from Philly. They couldn’t even call me themselves. And Merek is great with contracts but not so great with delivery. He assumed I already knew, which made getting the news ten times worse.

“Los Angeles has taken over the remainder of the three-year contract you signed with Philly, and now it’s a matter of working with your new team to get you on a flight tonight for tomorrow’s game. Don’t worry about packing up your house and all that. We can organize that for you.”

Brady’s frantically jotting down notes.

I slump. “I hadn’t even thought about my house. I bought it using my signing bonus as a down payment. Now, it’s what, just going to sit there empty? And if I sell it, am I going to get anywhere near the same amount I paid for it only a year and a half ago? Why did I buy a house when I knew this was a possibility? What is wrong with me?”

“Nothing,” Brady and Thad say at the same time.

Damon, who’s usually ready to step in after one of my anxiety-filled tangents, remains sitting there, watching me almost have a second meltdown of the day.

“It’s going to all work out,” Brady says. “Yes, this is unfortunate, but trades happen, and we’re used to handling these things. We can do it all. Pack you up, move your stuff, sell your house. You don’t have to worry about anything except dusting yourself off and holding your head up high when you walk into that locker room tomorrow and greet your new team.”

My stomach is in knots, and I want to vomit.

New team.

I’m leaving Philly.

I na?vely thought I’d stay there for most of my career.

I na?vely thought I could keep my anxiety and baseball separate forever.

I don’t regret my choices over coming out when I did, but I am heartbroken that the world of sports can still be ass-backward when it comes to gay athletes. I can also acknowledge that if I hadn’t played as badly as I have been, they wouldn’t have done this to me. They would have no cause.

“At this point,” Damon says, “is there anything else you need from us?”

I’m guessing asking to send Thad with me to hold my hand isn’t on the table, even if I want it to be.

Thad must be able to sense I’m holding back, too scared to ask, because he leans forward. “Whatever it is, you can ask. If one of us can’t handle it, we’ll find someone who can. We’re here to make your life easier.”

That’s just it. I can’t ask for this. I can’t ask for him .

“Would it make you more comfortable if I flew out to LA with you?” Brady asks.

Damon huffs. “So you can go see your boyfriends? No.”

Thad and I glance at each other. Brady has boyfriends? We knew because of the Catskills, but it’s all official now?

“Excuse me,” Brady says. “I’m actually offering my services here. Going beyond for the client. The fact Kit is with Prescott in California at the moment has nothing to do with it. Except maybe the convenience of seeing them next weekend. On my days off.”

“Thad, what’s your schedule like?” Damon asks. “Can you take a few days to represent Kelley and the firm while he settles in with the new team?”

Thad hesitates, which hurts, but I also understand it.

His hesitation also brings Damon to pause. Damon’s gaze narrows, his lips purse, and is it just me, or did the thermostat short-circuit and turn up the heat a few degrees? I’m sweating in Thad’s roommate’s cheap suit.

Damon leans forward and puts his forearms on the table while he fiddles with a pen between his fingers. “Merek, Brady, you two can get started on working on Kelley’s trade and organizing anything that will make his life easier. I’m going to talk logistics with Thad and Kelley.”

“Am I looking for one or two seats on the plane?” Brady asks.

Another pause from Damon. More pursed lips. “Two.”

I try to tell myself that everything is okay. That him asking for two seats is a good sign. If he suspected Thad and I were together in any romantic capacity, he would ask for one.

Then again, this morning, Thad didn’t hesitate to call his boss and admit we were together when this all went down. I can tell Damon is suspicious, and with everything going on, with there being no future between Thad and me, the urge to protect him outweighs all the stress, all the worry I have over this move to LA .

As soon as the door is closed after Brady and Merek leave, Damon says, “So …”

And it’s so intimidating that I blurt out, “It was Thad’s birthday yesterday.”

Damon’s brows shoot up. “It was? Happy birthday.”

“Thanks,” Thad mumbles. “It wasn’t a big deal. My roommates threw a party, and Kelley was there.”

“Uh-huh.” Damon leans back. “And why are you telling me this exactly?”

Oh. Fuck. He only got one word out before I answered a question that wasn’t asked. If that doesn’t scream guilt, I don’t know what does.

“I thought you were going to ask why we were together when you called this morning. The answer is I went to his birthday party, crashed at his place, and so yeah. I was in the city already. We’ve become friends since our time in the Catskills.”

“Friends,” Damon repeats. It’s not really a question, but it sounds like one.

“I went to his game while I was in town a few weeks ago. Went out with the team afterward.”

“When you went to scout those high school players,” Damon says.

“Yep.”

“And is that why Frederik Zaka is calling about you?” Damon turns to me. “Are you thinking of asking to move from Brady’s client list to Thad now you’re ‘friends’?”

“The air quotes hurt, boss,” Thad says lightly. “But no. I’m still not the right fit for Kelley as an agent, but I could be good for Zaka.”

“He’d be great for Zaka,” I say.

Damon sighs. “I’m struggling a bit here. I’m trying to wrap my head around the timeline of this … friendship and decide whether or not I feel like something inappropriate has happened. Especially seeing as there was money that exchanged hands. If it was just the bonus, that would be one thing. But you’ve kept seeing each other since then, staying over at each other’s houses …” He lets that linger there.

I swallow so hard the sound echoes in my ears. There’s no point in telling Damon the truth. I’m leaving and moving across the country. This trade has put the last nail in the coffin that was our … fling.

“Thad hasn’t done anything inappropriate,” I say. “He’s not trying to poach me as a client, and he didn’t approach Zaka either. That was all me. I introduced them, and then Zaka asked about Thad, and seeing as we are friends, I recommended him. Though I did warn him about his tough-love style of management. All he’s been doing is using the network you gave him to his advantage. He’s passionate about being a good agent, and he’s trying and learning, and other than baseball, being an agent is basically all he talks about.”

Damon glances at Thad. Then back at me. He leans back in his seat, his brow scrunched as he tries to process what I’m saying.

Then, his gaze lands on Thad once again. “I’m going to come out and ask point-blank. You’ve slept with Kelley, haven’t you?”

I’m apparently not as good at covering as I hoped I would be.

Thad hangs his head and sounds so defeated when he says, “How much trouble am I in?”