Chapter 13: Thad

Chapter 13

Thad

I like Brady. He’s an amazing coworker, and I respect the hell out of him, but I swear on the ghost of Babe Ruth that haunts the Yankee Stadium—true story—that if he doesn’t find somewhere else to channel his lonely energy, I might have to find a way to bury a body after all. His.

Because since his boyfriend slash boyfriend s slash none-of-my-business left, he hasn’t moved from Kelley’s side.

And because we don’t want him to get suspicious of what happened between us, Kelley and I haven’t really interacted.

I have stopped with the taunting him, though, because I meant what I said. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. If he ever does want me to help try to desensitize him to those types of comments, I’ll do it, but I’m not going to force him into that, especially if we don’t know if it’ll work or if it could even make him worse.

So instead, we’re cordial. We say good morning, ask if the other wants a cup of coffee or cocoa if we’re making one, and that’s about it.

I’ve had to jerk off in the shower like I’m a damn teenager again because I can’t get the way his ass felt around my cock out of my head, and I can’t jerk off when Brady is in the twin bed next to mine .

I’m desperate for some alone time with Kelley.

“I’m glad you two are finally getting along,” Brady says while he and Kelley play more Scrabble.

I sip my coffee and swallow the retort that we’d get along a hell of a lot better if we could fuck each other again.

“Thad apologized,” Kelley says.

“Kelley lies. I had nothing to be sorry for.”

Kelley laughs.

Brady doesn’t. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Nah. We’re good,” I say. Could be better. We could be alone and naked.

It might seem like I have a one-track mind, but in my defense, I do. There’s nothing else to do out here in the dead of winter but have sex and play Scrabble, and I hate Scrabble.

My phone next to me on the couch armrest lights up and vibrates. When I see “Mom” on the screen, my gut drops. I don’t want to answer for fear of what she’s going to say Wylder has done now.

But I answer anyway because of course I do. “Hey, just give me a sec?” I tell her and head for the kitchen so Brady and Kelley can’t hear this conversation. “What’s up?”

“It’s Wylder.”

“He’s back?”

“No. He, uh, took more money.”

“What?” I growl. So much for not letting Brady and Kelley overhear me. I lower my voice. “I told you to cancel that card.”

“We were going to, but it’s the account work pays us into, and your father didn’t want to deal with the headache of having to change it with them and then all of the direct deposits that come out of it for our bills?—”

“But now you can’t even pay your bills. Cancel the card, Mom. Yes, it’s a pain in the ass, but he’ll keep doing it. You know he will because he never has to face the consequences of his actions.”

“Your father is refusing, and I don’t know how?—”

I grit my teeth. “I’m only away for work for a few more days. I’ll come to you and go through it all with you. ”

“Thank you,” she says softly.

“Is Dad there? Can you put him on?”

“Brad. Theodore wants to talk to you.”

“Hey, son.”

“Did you really not cancel your bank card?”

“Our pay was due to go in there only a couple of days after Wylder took off. What were we supposed to do, you know?”

Call the bank, call your work, figure out what payments were going to come out, and change the damn details.

I don’t say any of this though. My parents should be close to retiring, and they’re nowhere near it. Because of me. And now Wylder. Because he’s a selfish piece of shit. I’m allowed to call him that because as I, too, am a selfish piece of shit when it comes to our parents and wasting their money, I can recognize the problem.

“I’m going to come by and help you cancel it and reset everything back up, but I’ll be a few days. In the meantime, how much do you need to cover what he took?”

“We can’t ask you again. We know you’re tight on money, too, with taking the internship.”

It hurts to hear him say internship like it’s a dirty word. Like it’s a note of my failure to be good enough for my dream and having to settle for … this. But it’s the only way I can set myself up, and them, for a financially stable future. I could’ve tried for a higher-paying job for now, but then I would forever be paying off debts. Once I’m an agent, and if I can sign big clients, I’ll be able to support my parents to retire immediately. I’m playing the long game.

I was already going to be short on rent this month, so I guess I’m not eating now either. I’ll figure it out. Worst-case scenario, I ask my roommates for help. Though, they’re as broke as me, mostly.

I glance back out into the living room, where Brady and Kelley are playing. I could ask Brady for a loan, but that’s probably even more unprofessional than sleeping with a client.

Brady’s not my friend. He’s my coworker.

If I was going to ask him, I may as well ask Damon for an advance on my meagre salary, and no way in fuck is that going to happen. Like I told Kelley, I don’t want attention on me. I just want to get the job done, get paid, and then keep my private life and work life separate.

“How much?” I ask again. I’m scared to hear the answer.

“We’ll talk about it when you’re here,” Dad says.

Maybe make that two months without rent or food.

I have no idea what I’m going to do.

I’m frustrated, and not only about the Wylder thing. Sure, that’s the source of it, but along with stressing about money, I also can’t get anywhere near Kelley again because Brady is always here.

It’s like my skin is too tight for my body and I’m going to explode. I’m fidgety, can’t sit still, and doing absolutely nothing out here isn’t helping. Kelley’s need to look at his phone has died down, and as cocky as it is to say, it happened to coincide with the amazing dicking down. Coincidence? I don’t believe in those. But my point is, I don’t think he needs two babysitters anymore. Yet, I don’t have the guts to ask if I can go home early because how will that look? To Damon and to Kelley.

Having sex with Kelley was never going to turn into anything, but if I leave now, I just know Kelley is going to think it’s about him or what we did, or hell, he might even jump to the conclusion that I’m eager to sell the story to a tabloid. And if I tell him about my money situation, he’ll think I’m trying to blackmail him.

So, I do the only thing I can think to do in this moment, which is get out of this cabin.

“I’m going for a walk,” I announce like it’s big news. “I can’t sit around here anymore. Is it hot in here? It feels like it’s hot.” I pull at the collar of my shirt and head for the coatrack where all our jackets, scarfs, and warmer layers hang.

“Are you okay?” Brady asks. They’re still playing Scrabble, which isn’t helping my sense of helplessness and time wasting .

“Need some fresh air.”

“In this weather?” Brady asks.

There’s been a cold front moving in, making outside as cold as the Antarctic.

Brady and Kelley look at each other with the same furrowed brow.

“Is … is this about the phone call with your mom?” Kelley asks.

He shouldn’t have because it sets my frustration even more on edge, and I fear I’m not going to be able to contain it much longer.

“That’s my business,” I snap.

I hate myself for it the second the words fall out of my mouth.

Brady slumps. “And just when I thought we were all starting to get along.”

“Not my business,” Kelley says, surprisingly confident. “Got it. Have fun freezing to death for some fresh air.”

His snarky remark makes me pause because it was so unexpected. Hell, it even makes me smile.

I have no clue what that says about me, but with one clapback, some of that tension building inside me fades. I turn to him. “Want to come freeze to death with me? I promise not to push you into the river.”

“Yeah, because he can’t,” Brady says. “It’s frozen over. I wouldn’t trust it though. He could throw you into a bear cave.”

“Come on, all of us could go. We could make it a bonding experience.” Yes, my tone is laced with fake, sarcastic enthusiasm, but I’m hoping at least Kelley will know I really want him with me and that I won’t throw him in a bear cave or drown him in a frozen river.

Outside in the snow might not be the alone time we wanted, but I can make anything work. Maybe an orgasm will at least settle my frustration until I can get back to Trenton to deal with my family drama. If we can’t find a place for that, even talking to Kelley might help. The more I learn about him and vice versa, the more we find in common.

He’d understand if I were willing to talk about the money situation, but it’s not something I want to put on him or make him question my motives. A lesson we both probably learned when we were young is people think you’re asking for money when all you want to do is vent about not having any, but I don’t want to risk his anxiety telling him differently.

“I really wouldn’t trust him now,” Brady says, louder this time. “But if you two want to go do that, I should really check in with the office. Give Uncle Damon the update of an impending murder and all that.” He grins.

“You want to call your boyfriend, don’t you?” Kelley asks and then dramatically sighs. “Fine. I know where I’m not wanted.”

I don’t miss that he didn’t even let Brady answer him.

“It’s a sad day when I’m the option you choose to go somewhere you’re wanted.” I’m testing the waters. Is he going to play, or will he go crawling back into his shell?

“Right? No love here at all.”

I let out a breath of relief that he’s still his energetic, playful self I’ve only seen glimpses of so far. If I can bring him out of that shell as many times as possible while I’m here, maybe I have the chops to be a sports agent after all.

It wouldn’t be the most conventional method of being there for a client, but maybe I could ask Damon if he needs a fluffer, like they have in porn. I have sex with all the clients while other people reap the benefits.

With where my thoughts are headed, I really should get that fresh air before I resort myself to whoring. I’ll make that my backup plan to my backup plan.

I get my boots on as Kelley finishes layering up.

“Where we walking to?” he asks.

“I just need to move around. Is it possible to get cabin fever in only a week and a bit?”

We walk outside and are welcomed by a blast of icy air to the face.

“Jesus fuck,” I whisper.

“This was your idea,” Kelley points out.

“I know. ”

We walk through the snow, ice crunching under our boots.

“So what’s really going on?” Kelley asks.

“I was hoping to drag you out here so I could have my way with you, but it’s so cold out I don’t think my balls are outside of my body anymore. Is it possible for a dick to be an innie? Like belly buttons? Mine’s heading that way.”

Kelley laughs. “We should’ve kicked Brady out and told him to go for one of his ‘walks.’”

“Only problem is he admitted he wasn’t really walking.”

“True. Damn it.”

The snow-covered path that leads between all the cabins acts like a damn wind tunnel, but as we come to the side of the main house where they serve breakfast and you can order food, the breeze dies.

“Let’s stop here for a second,” I say.

Kelley smiles. “Because it’s so much warmer?” His teeth are practically chattering.

“Yes.”

“Seeing as there is no possible way to get our dicks out here, want to talk about whatever has you so uptight?”

Yes. “No. It’s nothing. More brother drama.”

“Ah, so it’s your brother who is in trouble. Last time I tried to ask about it, you practically bit my head off. All I caught was that you needed to send your mom some money.”

I scoff. “Yeah, same shit, different day, but I don’t want to put any of that on you. You already have enough to deal with up here.” I tap the side of my head. “You don’t need my baggage added to it.”

“You know one good thing about my anxiety?”

“What’s that?”

“When it has nothing to do with me, I can actually empathize with people. Hell, it makes me feel not so alone to see others struggling with their own issues. Sure, sometimes it can make guilt creep in—that I’m getting upset over things like online comments when others are going through real problems—but all in all, it gives me a good ear if you do want to talk to someone about it. ”

He’s surprisingly sweet, so much so that it catches me off guard when my eyes start to water.

Nothing’s going to plan, and worse, it’s all going to shit. I thought the pressure of baseball was hard enough; now, I have the pressure of doing a good job in a position I originally didn’t want.

I keep waiting for that resentment toward baseball to subside. For me to fall in love with the game again through my clients. I’m not sure I can do it.

But I have to. Especially now because Wylder has put all this financial pressure on Mom and Dad, which I feel obligated to cover because the reason their house isn’t paid off by now is because of me.

“You have no idea how much that means to me,” I say.

“But you’re not going to take me up on the offer.” It’s a statement because he knows it’s true.

“Just like me hating you for having baseball, this is something I need to get over myself.”

“Having sex helped with that. I don’t suppose that would help with your family problems too?”

“Having sex with you or having sex with my family? Because I might need to ask if you’re okay now.”

“With me. You’re the one who took it to a gross place.”

I screw up my face. “A very gross place. And if we had somewhere to get naked, it would be a no-brainer. I have no idea if it would help with my family problems, but it can’t hurt to try.”

“So let’s find a place.” Kelley steps closer to me and looks up at me through his full lashes.

I move in closer too, determined not to touch him, only tease, but I almost slip on some ice, so that plan goes out the window, and he ends up backed against the side of the main house with me closing him in. “Mm, this isn’t what I intended to do, but I can’t say I hate where we ended up.”

Kelley pats my chest. “Here is definitely not the place.”

I want to argue it’s out of the wind, and the whole resort is deserted, so no one’s going to see if we have our hands down each other’s pants, but as if the universe is determined to prove me wrong at every turn, the sound of footsteps coming around the corner makes me pull away.

“See?” Kelley turns and starts heading back up the road.

“Where are you going?”

“I told you. To find somewhere.”

I trail after him like a puppy.