Chapter 31

31

Shelby

A Trip Back in Time

Nobody knows about Faust and I like it that way.

He's my secret.

Truthfully, it all scared me a little. To feel the way I did about someone I just met.

He's not a hard person to look at either.

Star college goalie. Been a star his entire life in a sense too.

He's going to go pro as soon as he decides to.

There are rumors of him making millions to play overseas.

And I can't help but keep wondering what in the world he's doing, meeting up with me at the edge of a lake so we could kiss a little.

He has to have every girl in college after him.

He can have anyone he wants for sure.

It's all so much to think about all the time too.

Sort of like this love story in my head… I'm not exactly poor but I'm far from rich. My mother works hard with her catering business and I help as much as I can. Together we keep things afloat.

But Faust? He's the big, strong hockey player. He's got his sights set on professional hockey. Which, whether anyone likes it or not, means he's going to be rich.

And I keep thinking about it. Not in a greedy way. Not in a way that I want his money or anything. What woman doesn't fantasize even a little about a man swooping in and spoiling her?

Everything changes the night of the accident.

In the blink of an eye, my mother is gone and I'm on my own.

To run the catering business.

To survive.

I have to grieve yet take phone calls and orders.

I have to push forward, which means showing up to events and having everyone stare at me with sad eyes.

It also means letting go of Faust.

Whatever fantasy there was… it's long gone now.

I don't have time to respond to his texts, let alone meet up with him.

I can't meet up with him. I can't just mess around and kiss him and leave.

My life isn't his problem. He's going to be a famous pro hockey goalie.

I'm going to be struggling to survive my entire life the way things are.

If you want to know the truth, I hate the catering business. I want nothing to do with it.

I know it's only a matter of time before I start ignoring calls. Before I stop taking orders. Before something goes wrong at an event and I simply just don't care.

All the little mistakes are easily forgiven now because of my mother's death. But that will fade. And fast.

My days and nights mix together.

I've ran out of tears to cry but I still feel pain.

I still feel alone.

I'm not alone. I have my best friend.

Amy shows up when I need her. Even if I don't bother her, she still checks up on me.

Like tonight… she's on her way with pizza and wine.

I'm not in the mood.

Amy has a hard time taking no for an answer though. She means well at times. I always joke with her and feel for the man she ends up with. Whoever it is, he'll need to be big, strong and capable of dealing with Amy's moods and stubbornness.

Again, she means well.

Amy shows up and I can't help but notice the smile on her face.

I also notice she's trying to fight it off. Trying to match my mood.

"You don't have to be sad with me," I say to her. "Something good is happening to you. You can tell me about it."

"I just… I'm just happy. I hate that because you're so unhappy."

"Amy, you're allowed to be happy even if I'm not. What's got you so happy?"

She bites her bottom lip.

I nod. "You met a guy."

"Yes."

"You're smitten."

"You have no idea, Shelby. I saw this miserable, brooding guy at a bar and walked up to him and asked if he was dangerous. I just went for it. And he was kind of a dick to me. But I liked it. I pushed through it. Next thing I knew, he's buying me drinks and we're going back to his place."

"First night?" I gasp. "You slut."

"Shut up," Amy says. "It was good. Really good . We've been, I don't know, close since then."

"Humping like rabbits."

"Yup."

"And now you're in love."

Amy shrugs.

"Whoa. Wait. Really? You're in love with this guy?"

"I think I am," Amy says. "He's great. Anyway, that's enough about me. Talk to me about you, Shelby."

"I had a bad dream last night," I say. "It was about this door that when it would open I'd see something different. First it was a sunflower. Then it was this rotting forest. It just got… weird. And creepy. I woke up and wrote about it."

"You wrote about it," Amy says.

"Hey, maybe someday I'll write a book. I'll be a famous author. No more catering business."

"Dream big," Amy says to me. "You can laugh at me, but I kept dreaming about meeting someone. And I finally did."

"When do I get to meet this hunk?"

"Whenever you want," Amy says. "I'll text Faust right now if you want me to."

The color drains from my face.

Did she just say… Faust…?

"Hey, are you okay?" Amy asks. "You don't look so good all of a sudden."

"I think I just need to get some sleep. Up too late with that dream."

Amy makes me go to bed.

I curl up under the covers and keep replaying what she said in my head…

I'll text Faust right now…

A part of me can't believe it.

Yet a part of me can't imagine there are a lot of guys around here named Faust.

Is it possible that Amy and I both have feelings for the same guy?

I fear the moment I meet Amy's new boyfriend that has her so smitten.

I'm not sure how to act or react.

So far I haven't said a word to her about Faust. Mostly because I haven't met her Faust to know for sure it's my Faust .

I cut the catering business down to part-time. I have no idea how to survive dealing with stuff part-time. I know things will end up worse because part-time isn't going to cut it.

Right now, this is what I need.

Just like I decided right now I needed a night to get out.

It's ironic that I choose the same pizza place that Amy chose when she brought pizza over.

The food is good.

The place is quiet.

I'm having a decent night.

My plan is to leave it at that.

Have a decent night and go home.

I'm mid-bite into another cheesy slice of pizza when Amy - who is sitting across from me - jumps up, smiles, claps her hands, and I swear I see hearts spring from her eyes.

"Faust!" Amy cries out.

I turn my head, cheese pulling from the slice of pizza in my hand.

Oh, fuck…

Amy is with my Faust.

My Faust then looks right at me.

His eyes grow wide as Amy has her arms around his neck.

I hate myself so much for the thought now rushing around inside my head…

I'm going to end up sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend, aren't I?