Chapter 20

20

Faust

The streak controversy came to an end pretty quick.

All it took was us winning a big game.

Life moved on.

Normally my hockey life held the top spot in my mind, but lately it's the fact that the woman who had my son and never told me lives next door and I can't stop thinking about everything that surrounds her.

Today I'm taking my son to school.

The conversation about school keeps coming up.

I want Oakley near us and in a good school. I want him to be able to do whatever he wants. Find his enjoyment in life and go for it. I don't really care if money is going to put him ahead of everyone else. I've earned everything I have in my life and I will spoil whoever the hell I want, including my son.

Shelby loves to resist.

I know that's her guilt showing through.

"Oakley, you ready?" Shelby calls out as she walks from her bedroom, fixing her hair.

I can't help the way my eyes are instantly fixated on her.

The way she tilts her head as she pulls her hair back, showing off her neck.

She's always had a silent flirty sexual side to herself that she doesn't know about.

It's what made me want her in the first place.

Then what about Amy? Huh? Why did you end up with her instead…

Oakley struts out of his bedroom, wearing little jeans, a shirt with a dinosaur on it, his book bag over his shoulders.

Damn if that doesn't bring a smile to my face.

"Are you coming today, Faust?" Oakley asks.

"That's right," I say. "I want to check out your school, kiddo."

"The drive is far," Oakley says. "And school is boring. I don't like anyone there. I think I have a stomachache. My head hurts too. I'm sick. I need to stay home."

I look at Shelby.

She's far from impressed.

"Too many excuses at once," she says to Oakley. "Let's go."

Oakley lowers his head in defeat and walks toward the door.

I ruffle his hair.

He looks up at me and smiles.

I then block Shelby's path.

"If he hates school so much, why not do something different?" I whisper to her.

"Not the time or place," Shelby growls back through gritted teeth.

"He's my son too, sweetie."

Her face turns bright red. Her eyes go wide.

Is she giving me the mom look right now to try and scare me?

The school is thirty minutes away. Obviously closer to where Shelby used to live.

Oakley plays a strong hand to not go to school. What starts with a fake stomachache turns into a well thought out argument on why he should be able to drop out of school. Drop out of elementary school .

It ends with Oakley giving me a fist bump and a hug and giving Shelby a kiss on the cheek and an even bigger hug before exiting my SUV and walking up to the building.

I have to admit, watching this scene unfold makes my heart sink.

I feel like my stomach is getting sick now.

"Hey, are you okay?" Shelby asks me.

"Yeah. Why?"

"You look more angry than normal. Your face is… pale. A little."

I curl my lip. "I'm fine."

I start to drive.

I swallow hard.

My hands white knuckle the steering wheel and I stay that way until I'm back at the apartment building. I tell myself my annoyance and white-knuckled driving is because of the otherwise normal city traffic.

I park, get out, and walk toward the parking garage elevators.

Shelby races to catch up to me.

"Hey, Faust, what is it?" Shelby calls out. "Something is bugging you. Talk to me. Tell me. Is it the school thing? We can talk about the school thing. It's obvious that Oakley doesn't like his school. I just feel weird about you spending money on-"

I turn and walk toward Shelby, my eyes wide.

No, Faust… take a breath first…

I don't take a breath.

"I miss him," I growl. My voice echoes in the parking garage. "It feels weird dropping him off at school like that. He just gets out and walks away. I can't see him or check up on him. Okay?"

"Oh, Faust…"

Shelby reaches for me.

I reject her and turn away.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me right now.

A lot of feelings pour through me.

I'm not about to leave Shelby alone in a parking garage though.

It's a safe parking garage, but be honest, all parking garages have a little bit of a creepy vibe to them.

I look back, then reach back. I take Shelby's hand into mine and keep her next to me.

Now my head races as fast as my heart.

Memories fucking with me right now, okay?

Thinking about the first night she and I met. Meeting her at the edge of the lake. Secretly watching her as she panicked to fix her hair and shirt, worried that she smelled like the food she was catering with her mother.

The first kiss. The first touch.

And then it was all gone…

Meeting Amy. How aggressive and wild Amy was. The perfect kind of person to make me forget about Shelby.

Only I didn't fucking know that Amy and Shelby were best friends.

I walk Shelby to her door.

Complete silence the entire time.

"Yeah, so that's school drop off," Shelby says. "I mean, if you ever want to do it by yourself, you know? Or, you know, we could talk about what you mentioned. A different school or something. This is a lot for me, Faust. And I know it's a lot for you too. And I'm sorry that I-"

I drop my mouth down to hers.

I can't listen to any more fucking words right now.

I can't hear about her feeling regret or sorrow for not telling me she was pregnant with Oakley. Or the fact that she gave birth and raised the fucking kid alone for six years…

I kiss her hard, fast, my anger becomes my aggressive desire for her.

She reaches for the door to her apartment.

She fumbles with her key but manages to open the door.

We both stumble in, our lips not parting for a second.

The door slams shut.

I pin her against the wall next to the door. I have to bend my knees to become somewhat eye level with her. My body presses against hers.

Fuck.

I want her…

I grab her right hand and place it up over her head.

I go for her left hand next but she drops her right hand.

"Fuck," I growl. "Keep your fucking hands above your fucking head."

Shelby sucks in a breath.

I take both her wrists in front of her and lift them up over her head.

I press my body harder against hers.

She takes a deep breath.

"Tell me you don't want me to fuck you right now, sweetie," I whisper. "I fucking dare you."

"Faust, we can't just do this," she says in a breathless voice. "We have to talk. We have to make sense of it all."

"Sense of what? Maybe we're just meant to fuck and nothing else."

Shelby shakes her head.

I curl my lip and gently punch the wall next to her with my left hand.

She's got me so fucking insane.

This is what she did to me before too.

"Don't get mad at me," she says.

I release my hold on her wrists and back away completely from her.

She's flustered. She's as frustrated as me.

The truth is… I managed to hold myself back before.

It took someone dying to finally put mine and Shelby's feelings over the top.

Now it's different. Completely different.

We have a son together now.

That's our priority.

Making sure Oakley is raised by two parents who love him.

I can accept that.

But that doesn't mean I'm going to forget anything. Or let anything go either.

You want to fuck with me like this, sweetie… you're my neighbor now… you hear everything I want you to hear…