8. Verbal Diarrhea

VERBAL DIARRHEA

PENELOPE

I paced in the little den at Declan's house Kelsey and I had commandeered as an office. We were both so used to working from hotel rooms and coffee shops while she was on tour and doing her promos that it was really nice to have a home base. Being a So-Cal girl, I didn't know if I'd like living in Colorado, especially now that the weather was turning cooler. But I was seriously looking forward to seeing snow for the first time, so there was that.

I phone pressed to my ear, cringing at the memory of yesterday's coffee shop disaster. "Simone, I'm so, so sorry about what happened. I swear I'm not usually such a klutz."

Simone's laughter tinkled through the phone. "Penelope, relax. It was actually kind of adorable. Besides, any chance to see Everett Kingman up close is worth a little spilled coffee."

I felt a twinge of... something at her words. Jealousy? No, that was ridiculous. This was exactly what I wanted, right? To help Everett find love. Simone was poised to be the next big name in pop, and she and Everett would make a great match. Both of them were total tens.

"Speaking of Everett," Simone giggled and sighed like a schoolgirl with a crush. I could relate. "What did he say after I left? Did he mention me at all?"

I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the knot forming in my stomach where the butterflies normally flittered about whenever I talked about Everett. "Oh, um, he was mostly concerned about the mess. But I'm sure he liked you. I mean, how could he not?"

"You're sweet," Simone said. "Do you think... do you think he'd be interested in grabbing coffee for real sometime? Just the two of us?"

The knot turned into a sailor's hitch, or a granny knot, or really just a mass of entanglement. "I... I'm sure. He's pretty busy during the football season, you know? So he doesn't have a ton of free time. Like one day every week."

I was rambling. Why was I rambling?

"I can try to set something up again, if you want. Maybe you could come to a game?"

"Would you? That'd be amazing." Simone's excitement was palpable. "Okay, gotta run. Tell Kelsey congrats again on all Grampys nominations. I can't wait to see you all at the ceremony. I still can hardly believe we got a nomination too."

We chatted for a few more minutes before saying goodbye. As I hung up, I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd somehow made a huge mistake. But that was crazy, right? This was what I wanted. To help Everett find love. To stop these confusing feelings I was having. To focus on finding my own date for the Grampys.

My phone buzzed with a text from Kelsey. Time to switch gears and focus on work.

An hour later, Kelsey and I were virtually knee deep in discarded ideas for the album cover. My tablet was almost ready to overheat from all the notes as we discussed trying to figure out the upcoming photoshoot.

"I want something edgy, but glamorous," Kelsey mused, flipping through a mood board I sent to her phone. "If I'm going to announce the album drop at the Grampys, it's got to scream power and strength. You know?"

"The teasers with the snakes we posted the other day went mega viral. What if we did something with a real snake?"

Kelsey's eyes lit up. "Yes. A big one. Draped around my shoulders. It'll be perfect for the title track."

I nodded, already mentally scrolling through my contacts for animal wranglers. The only people I had on speed dial were dog sitters, trainers, and groomers for Wiener the Pooh. "Okay, a big live snake. I can make that happen. Any particular type you're thinking of?"

"Something impressive. I don't actually have any knowledge about real snakes, besides the time Declan saved Pooh from the rattlesnake."

Pooh gave a soft bark and wagged her tail. She was the one responsible for the way Declan and Kelsey met after all.

"Maybe a python? Or a boa constrictor?" Kelsey grinned. "I don't know. I trust you to find the perfect one. Because you're the best assistant in the whole wide world."

This was what I was good at. Solving problems, making the impossible happen. Unless of course that included finding myself a date. Or even talking to anyone whose last name wasn't Kingman.

"Thanks, Kels. I'll start researching reptile handlers right away. I'll need to check on permits, safety protocols. I'm sure there are all kinds of boxes to be checked when working with live animals."

As I rattled off the list of things we'd need to consider, a small part of my brain wandered to the way Everett had tried to rescue me from the snakes that day. The thought made me giggle, earning a curious look from Kelsey.

"Something funny about snake safety?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. But that wasn't really the question she was asking. I'd successfully avoided other inquiries about why I'd been texting with Everett. But she knew something was going on with me.

I'd tell her all about it after I found my date for the red carpet. I shook my head, still smiling but composing myself. "No, sorry. Just... thinking about how the Besties are going to freak out when they see the photos. It's going to be quite a shoot."

Kelsey nodded, a mischievous glint in her eye. "That it is. Now, let's talk wardrobe. I'm thinking leather and..."

As we dove into the details of the photoshoot, I pushed thoughts of Everett, Simone, and my own dating foibles to the back of my mind. I had a job to do, and I was damn good at it. The rest... well, I'd figure that out later. Hopefully before I had to face Everett for our next lesson.

A lesson on body language. Alone. At his place.

I groaned internally. What had I gotten myself into?

After our meeting, I went to grab us a quick lunch at the deli in the neighborhood, just a couple of doors down from Cool Beans. I certainly couldn't show my face in there for a few days. As I pushed open the door, the smell of freshly baked bread and aromatic spices enveloped me. My stomach growled in anticipation.

"Penelope? Hey."

I froze, recognizing the voice immediately. Slowly, I turned to see Javi, the barista from Cool Beans, grinning at me from behind the deli counter. He was wearing the deli's uniform instead of his coffee shop attire, his curly mahogany-brown hair tucked under a cap.

"Javi? I didn't know you worked here," I said, trying to keep my voice steady as I approached the counter.

He shrugged, his smile widening. "Just started last week. Gotta pay those college bills somehow, right? What can I get for you today?"

As I scanned the menu, my mind raced. This was a perfect opportunity to practice what Everett had been teaching me. Casual flirting, right? I could do this. And it's not like Javi was going to want to jump my bones right here on top of the deli counter.

"Well," I said, attempting to sound confident, "what would you recommend? I'm in the mood for something... adventurous." I tried to quirk my eyebrow the way Everett did when he was being charming.

Javi's eyes widened slightly, and I worried I'd overdone it. But then he laughed, a warm, rich sound that made me relax a little.

"Adventurous, huh? How about our special? It's a spicy chicken sandwich with a mango habanero sauce. It's got quite a kick."

I nodded, relieved to have navigated that interaction somewhat smoothly. "Sounds perfect. I'll take it."

As Javi prepared my sandwich, I leaned against the counter, trying to look casual. "So, how are you liking it here compared to Cool Beans?"

"It's different," he said, glancing up at me. "But I'm learning a lot about food prep, so that's good. I'm studying hospitality, so I guess this gives me some kitchen experience. Plus, the customers here are just as interesting." He winked at me, and I felt my cheeks warm.

Oh god. Was he flirting with me? Crap. Was I supposed to flirt back? What would Everett do in this situation?

"I bet they are," I managed, then immediately cringed internally. Smooth. I was so, so smooth.

Javi didn't seem to notice my awkwardness. He finished wrapping up my sandwich and handed it over. As I reached for it, our fingers brushed, and I nearly dropped the sandwich.

"Careful," Javi said, steadying my hand with his. "Wouldn't want you to have another spill like yesterday."

I froze. "You... you saw that?"

He nodded, looking a bit sheepish. "Yeah, I was just coming back from my break. Hope you weren't too embarrassed."

"Oh, you know," I said, trying to laugh it off, "just me being my usual clumsy self. No harm done, except to my pride. And Everett's shirt."

"Everett," Javi repeated, his smile faltering slightly. "You two seemed pretty cozy. Are you...?"

"No," I said, perhaps too quickly. "No, we're just friends. He's, uh, helping me with something."

Javi's smile returned full force. "Good to know. Hey, listen, I was wondering..."

Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Was he about to ask me out? What should I do? What would Everett tell me to do? I should listen to what Javi said and respond so he knew I'd been paying attention.

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Did you know that the habanero pepper can be up to a hundred times hotter than a jalape?o?"

Javi blinked, clearly thrown off by my random fact. "Uh, no, I didn't?—"

"And mango trees can grow up to 100 feet tall," I continued, my voice rising an octave. "Isn't that fascinating? I mean, who knew fruit could be so... tall?"

Javi opened his mouth to respond, but I was on a roll now, words tumbling out of me like a broken dam.

"Speaking of tall things, did you know giraffes have the same number of neck vertebrae as humans? It's true. They're just much, much bigger. Kind of like how this sandwich is much bigger than I expected. Is this a footlong? I don't think I can fit a footlong in my mouth. Maybe I should get a six-inch instead."

Oh god. Did I seriously just say I couldn't fit a footlong in my mouth? Please don't let him think that was some kind of innuendo.

"Maybe I'll just have a salad. Do you have salads here? Of course you do, all delis have salads. Silly me."

I finally paused to take a breath, and in that moment of silence, I became acutely aware of how loudly I'd been talking. The entire deli had gone quiet, and I could feel every eye on me.

Javi stared at me, a mix of confusion and concern on his face. "Sure, Pen. I can get you a salad instead."

Before I could answer, or spout more random facts, the bell above the door chimed. A customer behind me in line asked loudly, "Is this some kind of performance art?"

My face felt like it was on fire. "I... I have to go," I mumbled, backing away from the counter. "Thanks for the... the..." I gestured vaguely at the sandwich still sitting on the counter, then turned and practically ran out of the deli.

It wasn't until I was halfway back to the house that I realized I'd left without lunch. My stomach growled in protest, and Kelsey was expecting something to eat too. I'd rather starve than face Javi again after that spectacle.

I was never setting foot in that deli again. Or Cool Beans. In fact, maybe I should just swear off all food-service establishments for the foreseeable future. It seemed safer that way.

I opened up the GrubDash app and ordered delivery. Hopefully Javi wouldn't be the one making the food. Why had I reacted so strongly to the mere possibility of him asking me out? Wasn't the whole point of Everett's lessons to help me date?

So why did the thought of going out with anyone make me panic and spout random facts about peppers and giraffes?

I didn't act like this around Declan or Everett or any of their brothers. Because I was never going to date any of them. Everett was right. The second I even thought about romantic anything was when I turned into a blathering idiot.

At least I had that private lesson about body language to look forward to. Or dread. At this point, I wasn't sure which.

The week flew by, and before I knew it, Sunday arrived, which was, of course, game day for the Mustangs. But instead of cheering from the stands, I found myself on a the side of a chilly mountain, clipboard in hand, as Kelsey filmed a scene for her next music video.

"Alright, people," the director shouted. "Let's take it from the top. Kelsey, remember, you're a warrior queen leading your army into battle. But make it sexy."

I stifled a laugh as Kelsey rolled her eyes at me before striking a fierce pose. As the music started and Kelsey began her sexy warrior routine, I checked my phone. The Mustangs' game would be starting soon.

A text from Everett popped up.

Missing you in the stands today. Cheer for me from your super-secret sneaky undisclosed location.

My heart did a little flip. He was missing me? I quickly typed back.

Break a leg! (But not literally, please. I don't want to have to help you explain that to your FlipFlop followers.)

Hours later, as we wrapped up the shoot, my phone buzzed again. This time, it was Jules, Everett's sister, and it was in the Kingman family group text. I was in the family group text?

Reminder - It's surprise family game night at Cool Beans in an hour. Anyone who played football today is required to shower...with soap and water first. See you there.

Ah, crudmuffins. Cool Beans. The scene of my coffee disaster with Everett. Where Javi worked. I wondered if I could beg off.

But another text from Jules popped up and this one was just to me.

Extra excited you and Kelsey can make it tonight. I know it was a big ask, but we're getting THIS CLOSE to having as many girls as boys for the teams. My plans for female domination have almost come to fruition! #bwahaha #feminominon

Before I could come up with an excuse, Kelsey peered over my shoulder. "Ooh, right, it's game night. You're going to love this, Pen."

And just like that, my fate was sealed.

An hour later, I walked into Cool Beans, Kelsey at my side. The café had been transformed, with tables pushed together and board games stacked high. The Kingman clan was all filing in too, and they were ever the boisterous group that filled a space with laughter and friendly bickering.

Everett spotted me first, his face lighting up in a way that made my knees weak. He made his way over to us, and I scanned the room anxiously. No sign of Javi. Thank God for small mercies.

"How was the game?" I asked when Everett reached us.

He grinned. "We won. But it probably would have been a blowout if you two were there."

"Smooth, bro," Declan called out, earning him an elbow in the ribs from his fiancée, Kelsey.

Hmm. Had Everett said something to his brother about our little arrangement? Because if Declan knew, Kelsey knew, and that would explain why she hadn't been pestering me about it.

"Alright, everyone." Mr. Kingman clapped his hands, his voice booming over the chatter. "Time to pick your teams and your kitten mascots."

There was a mad scramble as the guys, all grown men who towered over six feet, dove for the box of kittens like they were going after a fumbled football.

"Dibs on the orange ball of chaos," Everett shouted, scooping up a squirming ball of fur. "And I choose Pen as my partner in crime."

Okay, first of all, where had the kittens come from, and also... had he really just picked one that matched the shade of my hair perfectly and then declared me as his partner in front of everyone? He was going to blow our cover... and make me blush.

Everett grinned at me, holding out a tiny orange kitten. Something was different with him today. He was acting more like a boyfriend or?—

Oh.

My.

God.

Was this the next lesson? Was I supposed to be paying attention to his body language?

I took the fluffy ball of fur, whose fur matched my hair exactly, trying to ignore the hot spark that spread through me when our fingers brushed.

It was almost like lightning had struck the two of us.