Chapter 2

TWO

Iliked the start of the new school year at Lassiter. Summer was over, and fall was just starting to turn the leaves gold and red. Fraternity Row, shaded by a mix of huge red maples and laurels, was picturesque. The girls from Zeta Tau were all about standing around in the golden afternoon light Instagramming in their cute outfits with their pumpkin spice lattes and their apple cider donuts.

I was walking Squirrel past their house when Allison saw me, waved at me from the porch, and came out onto the sidewalk to talk. She was wearing tartan leggings, boots, and a fuzzy jacket. It was hot. Allison was hot too. We'd hooked up some, but neither of us were interested in anything more than that. We were good friends though. Back in sophomore year when I'd been veering into fuckboy territory—while I'd done a lot of maturing in college, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been immature as fuck at times too—Allison had given me the metaphorical slap in the face that had snapped me out of it again.

"Hey, slugger," she said. She called me that because I'd been on my high school baseball team. And the only reason she knew that was because I'd been going through my old photos on Insta one night to show her my truly awful high school graduation suit—my girlfriend back then thought we'd look good in rose pink. We didn't. Anyway, Allison had been a lot more interested in the picture of my baseball uniform and—her words—the things it did to my ass.

"Hey, Ally. How's it going?"

She gave Squirrel a pat. "You know. Pledge week. Jesus, kill me now. Have freshmen always been this needy?"

"Yup."

She laughed. "You got any good candidates?"

"A couple," I said. "Got a real asshole legacy too."

She shuddered. "You'll whip him into shape though, right?"

I thought of Ethan Brooks and made a face. "I dunno. Pretty sure he's an asshole on a bone-deep level."

"Do I need to let my girls know about him?" she asked. We usually had a mixer with the Zeta Taus after rush week.

"I'll keep my eye on him," I said, "but it wouldn't hurt if he's on y'all's radar too. I'll make sure to point him out to you."

We shot the shit for a while longer and went over a few ideas for joint fundraisers. Last year we'd done a car wash, and it was still a point of friendly contention about whether the Zeta Taus, in bikini tops and Daisy Dukes, had earned more money than us with our shirts off.

"Well, I'm not doing another car wash until spring," Allison said. "It's way too cold to be wearing buckets of water. We should do a candy drive or something."

"Come on, that's hardly fair. You Zetas will crush us. Nobody can say no to cute girls in short skirts. That's science."

She grinned at me. "Then I guess you Alphas will have to up your game if you want to beat us."

"It's on," I said, and I liked to think that Squirrel was on my side since he picked that moment to take a dump on the Zetas' lawn. Given that I had to pick it up, it wasn't exactly a win. But still, he'd made a point.

I got Squirrel home just in time for the chapter meeting. We usually only held one of these every couple of weeks, but during rush week, the chapter executive caught up every day just to make sure we were all on the same page. It wasn't a formal meeting - just chips and soda in the office.

Trey was president, and Archer was vice president. It was the first year in the positions for both of them, and they were both a little stressed about their new responsibilities, but they knew how things worked. Marshall and Andrew, our previous president and vice president, had been good examples to follow. Connor was the house manager this year, and Knox was the chapter secretary. I was the social chair again, and Scout was still treasurer, so we were sort of the steadying influence while everyone else found their feet in their new roles. And Marty had come along to the meeting as well because Marty always did even though he wasn't a member of the chapter executive. But he brought snacks, so we let him.

"Squirrel!" Marty exclaimed, sliding off the couch and onto his ass on the floor so he could get dog hugs.

"Hey, am I late?" I asked.

"We started early because Marty brought donuts," Scout said. He gave me a cold stare, but that was just a thing his face did. He was actually a good guy. "You missed them. They were delicious."

I grabbed a handful of chips from the bowl on the desk. "I think I'll live."

"So, how's it all going?" Trey asked. "Who do we like so far?"

Most of the guys had the same general picture I did of the guys who were rushing Alpha Tau. Who would be a good fit. Who wouldn't. There was some debate over whether we could really have two pledges called James, but it wasn't serious—they were both decent candidates.

But not everyone was on board with Briar.

"Briar Pendelton?" Knox asked dubiously. "The kid with the black hair and nail polish, right? I don't know, bro. He kind of seemed like he'd rather be anywhere else. Like if you'd given him the choice of rushing or getting a root canal, he'd be lining up at the dentist's instead."

Trey caught my gaze but didn't say anything, and I wondered if that whole "Briar has to get in" was just between us for now. Like, I got it. If the guy had been bullied last year or something, then he probably didn't want his whole new fraternity to know that. And there was no reason it had to go any further than me and Trey, because when it came to pledges, our opinions counted the most.

"I figured that too at first," I said, "but then, when I was telling Charlie about how inclusive we were, Briar's attitude changed, and he got real interested real quick. I think he needs Alpha Tau, you get me? I think he'll be a good fit too, once he comes out of his shell a bit. And he's smart. Already took his LSAT and got 160. That's a hell of an example for the other pledges to follow."

Knox nodded. "Okay. Sounds like you got a better read on him than I did."

Trey gave me a nod.

"Squirrel likes him," Marty said. "And Squirrel's an awesome judge of character."

"Squirrel ran away from his own reflection when he saw it in a mirror," Archer pointed out.

"Bro, that's just smart," Marty said. "If you turned a corner and saw yourself standing there, you'd run away too! That's some horror movie bullshit right there, unless you're an identical twin."

"Pretty sure he's got some social anxiety or something," I said.

"He's fine," Marty said, scowling at me. "That's just the vibe he gives off as a whippet."

"Yeah, I was talking about Briar, not Squirrel," I said. "So, we've got the cookout tonight, which should be even more chill than the first meet and greet. Hopefully we'll get to know Briar a little better, but so far it's a yes from me, for both him and Charlie."

We went through a few other names, and I was pleased nobody else had warmed to Ethan Brooks either. Dude radiated some major gross vibes. Allison had said I'd have to whip him into shape, but honestly? A lifetime of being Mommy and Daddy's entitled little golden boy was pretty much ingrained by this point. I didn't have to spend a lot of time with Ethan Brooks to figure nobody had ever told him no before.

After the meeting, when we were setting up for the cookout, a few of the brothers who weren't in the executive caught up with me to let me know their first impressions of this year's rushees. It was good to discover that most of us were on the same page.

Ethan surprised me by turning up early to the cookout and offering to help out on the grill. Connor and Archer, who were in charge, made some space for him and drew him into a conversation.

Huh. So maybe what I needed to do was reserve judgment for now. Perhaps Ethan wasn't as bad as I'd thought. Like, it wouldn't be the first time I was wrong about someone. Call me a pessimist though, but I wasn't expecting Ethan to surprise me.

The other potential pledges rolled in with the golden and red light of the sunset. Nobody was dressed up tonight. Blazers and chinos had been replaced with jeans and hoodies. Briar, when he turned up, actually fit in tonight, though he was still wearing his hood up as though he wanted to hide inside it. Charlie was with him, appearing a little more confident than he had last night.

I scooped a couple of sodas out of the cooler and headed over to meet them as they wandered around the side of the house. "Hey, you guys. Glad you made it."

"Hi, Casey," Charlie said, taking his soda.

"Hi," Briar echoed. His fingers brushed mine as he took the can.

I drew my hand back, fingertips a little numb from the ice in the cooler. "You guys doing good?"

Briar's nails weren't nice like the first time I'd noticed them. They were ragged at the edges, like he'd been chewing on them. Not usually the sort of thing I'd notice about a guy, but there was something about Briar that kept drawing my gaze. He was shy and a bit prickly, and he was pretty. Just something about how he was put together that pinged my radar, I guess. Which was weird, because I had a type, and it was usually blondes—it was usually girls too—and here was this guy with ink-black hair that had to have come out of a bottle and bitten-down nails and wary glances and monosyllabic replies, and I just couldn't stop staring. Archer's boyfriend, Eli, had a bit of that angsty scene-kid-art-student vibe happening with his clothes and his hair and his lip ring, so it wasn't as though it was a surprise to discover that whole package could be attractive—except that Eli didn't do it for me like Briar apparently did. I'd never thought Eli was pretty. They might have shopped at the same thrift stores, but that was where the resemblance ended. Eli's features weren't as delicate as Briar's. His eyes weren't so dark you could get lost in them.

And where the fuck did that come from? Holy shit. I could deal with the unexpected jolt of being wrenched up a few points on the Kinsey Scale toward the bigger, gayer numbers, but poetic metaphors about getting lost in Briar's eyes? That was a step too fucking far.

And I also needed to dial that shit back big time because I was the social chair and pledge master of Alpha Tau, and Briar was a potential pledge.

Not cool, Casey. Not fucking cool.

"So," I said, loudly enough that both Briar and Charlie jumped. "It's great you showed up. Both of you, I mean. Not that I thought you'd ditch us, but you know."

They didn't know. I didn't either. They exchanged what could only be considered an "Is Casey crazy?" look.

"Oh," I said, "and there are some dog treats in the kitchen if you guys want to grab some for Squirrel. Just don't feed him too much, or he'll be farting all night. And I share a room with him."

"With Squirrel?" Briar asked, and it might have been the first time he'd actually voluntarily kept a conversation going. "That's cool."

"Well, with Marty," I said. "It's a package deal with the dog."

"I didn't know frats were allowed dogs," Briar said.

"I told you, we're inclusive," I said with a grin, "and Marty's boyfriend really wanted to get him a dog, so we made it happen."

"Wait, Marty's gay too?" Charlie asked, eyes widening. "He doesn't look the type."

"Oh yeah? How exactly should he look?" Marty was pure chaos, but he was my bro, and I was ready to throw hands if Charlie tried doubling down.

Charlie's cheeks flamed. "No, I just... right. You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. He's just such a…"

"Dudebro?" I nodded. "See, it's all about appearances. You look at Marty, and you expect something different than you get." My gaze shifted to Briar. "Same as when you first came over last night. You see this fancy fucking house full of portraits of old dudes with walrus moustaches. You see white guys—mostly—in blazers, with Daddy's money, and you expect a bunch of entitled assholes." I lowered my voice. "Trust me, I was exactly the same when I pledged."

Briar bit his lower lip.

Charlie shuffled uncomfortably, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. "So, I haven't, like, put my foot in my mouth and ruined my chances?"

"No, man. All I'm sayin' is, don't judge by appearances, okay? Because one thing we're good at in Alpha Tau is flipping expectations."

"I mean, to be fair, I didn't even know I was gay until last year," Marty said from over my shoulder, ruining my After School Special moment. "But then I met Dalton, and surprise! Turns out I'm all about the dick now. Well, Dalton's dick, specifically. Plus, I love him, so there's that."

Charlie's jaw hit the ground. So did Briar's.

"You're pretty bi, Marty," I said. We'd had this conversation before. "You slept with half of Zeta Tau before you met Dalton."

"Yeah, and that was awesome too, but that was before I knew dicks were so great. I mean, everyone should try dick at least once." He winked at Charlie, whose face went as red as his hair. "You guys are gay, right? How great is it?"

"Um." Charlie was about to burst into flames if he got any redder. "It's pretty great?"

Marty fist-bumped him.

"Excuse me," Briar said, darting away before Marty could get an answer off him too.

Yeah, something sure as hell had gone wrong for him at his last school, and I was pretty certain it had everything to do with his sexuality.

Wait, was Briar even gay? Or had Marty just done exactly what I'd told the new guys not to do and made an assumption based on his appearance? Maybe that had been the problem at Briar's last school—being pretty and catching shit for it?

Part of my job as pledge master was looking out to see potential members weren't being made uncomfortable, and Marty could be a lot, so I hurried after Briar. At the grill, Ethan stepped out in front of me.

"Hey, Casey," he said. "Have you talked to Fisher and Graham? They're rushing too. They're buddies of mine."

"Yeah," I said, looking over his shoulder to where Briar was disappearing into the house. "I met them last night."

"Yeah, they're really great and?—"

I pushed past him and hurried toward the house.

"Okay, cool, we'll talk later!" Ethan called out, waving a pair of tongs at me. I didn't bother to reply.

I found Briar in the kitchen, where he was standing by the refrigerator. Knox was talking to him—something about what classes he was taking.

"And Casey said you've already done the LSAT? That's amazing. Oh, hey, Casey."

"Hey. Sorry to interrupt, but can I speak to you for a second, Briar?"

He didn't make eye contact. "Okay."

"Come on up to my room," I said. "It's quieter there."

The room I shared with Marty was on the second floor. It was pretty much a mess all the time. I could have blamed most of it on Marty, but that wouldn't have been fair. I was terrible at keeping laundry, either clean or dirty, off the floor too.

I pulled the chair from Marty's desk out for Briar and sat down in mine. Briar was tense and unhappy, vibrating like Squirrel when it was bath time.

"Hey," I said quietly. "I just wanted to check if you're okay. It seemed like you freaked out a little."

"I'm fine," he said, eyes fixed on a random stain on the rug where Marty had spilled something—I'd never been brave enough to ask exactly what.

I'd talked enough freshmen through various crises to recognize that his hunched shoulders and bowed head told a different story.

"Hey," I said again.

He lifted his gaze to mine, eyes wide and dark and almost haunted.

"So, I just told you guys not to make assumptions, so I won't either, but I'm guessing that people at your last school did, huh? And now you're worried we're gonna do the same?"

A shaky breath left him. "Something like that."

"So feel free not to share because it's literally none of my business, but are you gay, or did Marty make a wrong call? Because I can shut him down if that's something you either don't identify as or you're still figuring out yourself, or if you just don't want the whole fucking fraternity thinking it, or?—"

"Oh no, I'm straight," Briar said.

Huh. That was?—

"I am so straight," he said, completely deadpan. "The straightest straight ever to straight. Lemme prove it. Football. Beer. Boobs. Um, monster trucks?" And then, impossibly, he grinned at me.

Oh. He was a sarcastic little shit.

Inappropriate crush intensifying.

"Okay," I said and cleared my throat. "For the record, football doesn't count as a straight-identifying activity. We have a mean flag football game every Sunday against the Theta Phis, and I'm pretty sure Marty cheats by going shirtless just to distract his boyfriend."

Briar's smile faded, and he let out a long breath. "Some stuff happened at my last college, and when I was looking at Lassiter, someone suggested I try to get into Alpha Tau because you guys wouldn't care that I'm gay. That you'd be cool with someone like..." He gestured at himself. "Me."

"What about you though?" I asked. "Do you want to be in Alpha Tau?"

He cocked his head to the side. "I wasn't sure, but now I've met you, and you seem okay. I think it could… be good? Sorry, I don't have any speeches about community service like Charlie does. I just..." He let out another breath. "Things got real bad last year. I think I might need somewhere safe, and you might be it."

"Okay," I said. I reached out and squeezed his knee. "If you want in, you're in, okay?"

"It's that easy?" Something like hope flitted across his face. "Don't I have to take part in a bunch of dumb stunts?"

"Oh, you definitely do, but that's after we make an official bid at the end of the week. And they're mainly for fun or if we're doing a fundraiser for the food bank or something. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. "It does." He broke into a wide smile, showing perfect white teeth, and his face lit up like a sunrise. A dimple appeared in his left cheek, and damn! If I'd thought he was pretty before, now he was stunning. Suddenly I couldn't think of a thing I wouldn't do to see more of that smile, and keep it directed at me.

A Klaxon blared in my head.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I was the pledge master, and Briar was about to be a pledge. I didn't cross those lines. I wasn't that guy.

I forced myself to let go of his knee and cleared my throat. "So, welcome to Alpha Tau, I guess? Just maybe keep it under your hat until the end of the week when it's official."

Yeah, that smile wasn't any less captivating the second time around.

I was so screwed.